87 in 107

I've moved to Kukla's Korner

2011-02-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

The news: At last, I am officially one of the bloggers on Kukla's Korner (http://www.kuklaskorner.com/). This is a great opportunity and I am very proud to have been chosen to be part of Paul's hockey world.

What's the same: You'll still find all the same content you do here, but with a little more focus on the NHL.

What's different: The name (Above the Glass) and the location.

The local angle: The new title refers to my big picture take on the sport, and it's also named for my Portland Winterhawks season ticket seat.

Speaking of which: Fear not, Winterhawks family and fans. I'll still be featuring the Winterhawks on the new blog, and I'll be boosting my coverage on oregonlive as we head into the playoffs, NHL Combine and the draft. Be assured there will still be plenty of information and news about the Hawks in both places.

The indirect link: If you go to the general Kukla's web site, hover over the "Blogs" toolbar to click on it, or scroll down to the right side for the list of blogs. I'm second. I encourage you to go the general web site first, as Paul and his bloggers have a lot to offer. My personal favorites are The Confluence (Pittsburgh Penguins), The Malik Report (all things Red Wings), Beasts of the Southeast (Tampa Bay Lightning) and Canucks and Beyond.

The direct link: http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/atg.

For followers: You can continue following me on my new home. There is an RSS feed link on my blog. Or, even better, here is the direct URL: http://feeds.feedburner.com/AboveTheGlass.

Parting shots: Thank you to all who have followed, visited or read this blog since its inception in 2009. I appreciate each and every little kibble, visit and follower. I hope you will continue to share in my adventures on the new home. And Portland fans can keep tuning in on www.oregonlive.com/hawks. That will continue as is, and thanks to my press pass, look for photos in the coming months. And the archives of 87in107 will continue to live here, so you can peruse favorite past entries anytime. It has been my pleasure to provide you with information and entertainment here, and I look forward to continuing to do so.

There are too many men playing hockey tonight

2011-02-23T18:57:00.000-08:00

The games: Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Phoenix Coyotes. Edmonton Oilers vs. Colorado Avalanche.

Why I chose them: Honkin' tall French Captain is back in fine form, the score is Tampa 8, Phoenix 3 with seven minutes to go in the third period. And there's Guy Boucher, mais oui. Matt Duchene is back. That means one current and three potential Calder nominees (Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Magnus Paajarvi) in one game. Good enough for me. So is this: Honkin' tall French Captain there racked up five points (one goal, four assists).

The other game: Portland Winterhawks plays tonight in the second of two games against Prince George Cougars.

You don't see this everyday: In last night's game between Portland and Prince George, both teams got coincidental penalties for too many men on the ice. If the WHL rulebook is similar to the NHL, yes this is possible. Here are the key highlights:

Rule 74, Too Many Men on the Ice:

-- Players may be changed at any time during the play from the players' bench provided that the player or players leaving the ice shall be within five feet of his players' bench and out of the play before the change is made.

-- If in the course of making a substitution, either the player entering the game or the player retiring from the ice surface plays the puck with his stick, skates or hands or who checks or makes any physical contact with an opposing player while either the player entering the game or retiring is actually on the ice, then the infraction of "too many men on the ice" will be called.

-- A player coming onto the ice as a substitute player is considered on the ice once both of his skates are on the ice. If he plays the puck or interferes with an opponent while still on the players' bench, he shall be penalized under Rule 56 - Interference.

Early bird special: He's not even on our roster yet, but keep an eye on the Portland Winterhawks' first round pick in the 2010 Bantam Draft, Nic Petan. He just played in the Canada Winter Games, which features young hockey players 15 and under. He was on Team BC, which won the tournament. More importantly, he racked up the game winning goal and four assists in the final gold medal game and the stick he used to do so will henceforth be living in its new home in the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. Oh yeah, he's all of 16 (as of March 22), he's all of 5'6" and among his teammates on Team BC: Steen Cooper, running a very close second to Steele Boomer for best hockey name, ever.

In the meantime, we must make this happen: Ryan Johansen continued his blitz with two goals last night. He nearly had a hat trick about two weeks ago, save for a late video review that handed it to Brad Ross. So Portland readers, to refresh, we must all take a pre-game moment to repeat the following: Hat trick. Ryan Johansen. Hat trick. Ryan Johansen. I know we can make this happen.

Morals of the story:

The game: Like life, the devil is in the details. Or not. Notice that this rule does not define putting an extra player on the ice without pulling the goalie qualifies as a penalty. So math would not be one of the details you need to worry about, then? Discuss.

Life: There should be a rule like this for commuter gridlock. Once there are too many men on the highway, anyone who attempts to hit the freeway after that should be "penalized" by being made to return home, indulge in the extra cup of coffee, tea, whatever and try again at 9 am, when the rest of the rat race is safely esconced in cubeville in Corporate America.

Next up: The ongoing futile but noble attempt to understand the cap room rule.

Does Pittsburgh's payroll range have room for another Niskanen-Crosby fight?

2011-02-21T17:54:00.000-08:00

The game: Washington Capitals vs. Pittsburgh Penguins.

Why I chose it: The rivalry continues, with two new players in tow following today's blockbuster trade with the Dallas Stars that sent Alex Goligoski to the Stars.

Oh the irony: The two Dallas players who will call Pittsburgh home for the rest of the season are James Neal and Matt Niskanen, the latter of which is best known for being the other half of a rare Sidney Crosby fight.

Ok, now I'm nervous: Anaheim Ducks' GM Bob Murray has stated in an inteview that he is concerned about Jonas Hiller's health. According to the latest reports he has a balance problem. Ok, I still don't freel any better. Goalies with balance problems, especially ones who are the reason I watch the Ducks, is generally not good. Equally scary is the fact that we've reached the point in the season that the injured reserve list of NHL teams on any given day is bigger news than trades, points or final scores.

The rule: Article 50, Team Payroll Range System; Lower Limit and Upper Limit; Payroll Room; Lower Limit and Upper Limit Accounting.

I'm reading slowly and carefully through this section, lest I should miss an important detail: The second half of (b) (i) "The Upper and Lower Limits of the Team Payroll Range shall be determined in accordance with the following formula" reads as follows: If a significant one-time increase or decrease in League-wide revenues (e.g. by reason of the addition or loss of a national television contract or the scheduled opening of one or more new arenas which is expected to result in a significant increase in League-wide revenues) is anticipated the next League Year, the parties will endeavor to estimate the expected increase or decrease and incorporate that estimate into the above-stated formula for calculating the adjusted midpoint. After adjustment for the revenue growth factor, the Payroll Range shall be constructed by adding $8 million to the Adjusted Midpoint to establish the Upper Limit, and subtracting $8 million from the Adjusted Midpoint to establish the Lower Limit.

Morals of the story:

The game: At last, a math equation I understand. Add a number to get the upper limit. Subtract a number to get the lower limit. On occasion, the NHL keeps it simple. Just like it should be.

Life: With the current economy still not showing official signs of improving, we need a rule like this, whereby if some poor soul should happen to experience a sudden downturn in salary due to a layoff, then his or her severance package range should be reconfigured to account for the sudden loss of guaranteed income to cover more money over a longer time, thereby protecting him or her from foreclosure and repossession of car and/or large household electronics.

Next up: Backtracking to what defines hockey related revenues. A word of caution, though: It's 24 pages long. I'll be doing the Cliff's Notes version.

It's hockey day on my couch

2011-02-20T11:44:00.001-08:00

It's hockey day in America, and that means: I'm not going anywhere. Not to the store. Not to the gym. Zip. It's a national holiday for hockey fans, and I therefore must devote my undivided attention to NBC's games of the week, the NHL Networks' pre-Heritage Classic extravaganza and of course, the Heritage Classic. Then maybe I'll go to the store to replenish the snack supply. Because a girl can get hungry sitting on her ass watching all that hockey.

It was hockey night in Portland: The Winterhawks kicked off the local festivities with Pink the Rink night, in which the ice was indeed pink, the team sailed to a 6-3 win over the Chilliwack Bruins that also clinched them a playoff berth and New York Islanders prospect Nino Niederreiter scored his first hat trick of the season: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

The rule: Article 50.5, Team Payroll Range System; Lower Limit and Upper Limit; Payroll Room; Lower Limit and Upper Limit Accounting.

50.5 (i) The Upper and Lower Limits of the Team Payroll Range shall be determined in accordance with the following formula:

Preliminary Hockey-Related Revenue (HRR) for the prior League Year multiplied by [x] the Applicable Percentage (as defined in Section 50.4(b) of this Agreement, minus [-] Preliminary Benefits, divided [/] by the number of Clubs then playing in the NHL, shall equal [=] the Midpoint of the Payroll Range, which shall be adjusted upward by a factor of five (5) percent in each League Year (yielding the Adjusted Midpoint) until League-wide Actual HRR equals or exceeds $2.1 billion, at which point the five (5) percent growth factor shall continue unless or until either party to this Agreement proposes a different growth factor based on actual revenue experience and/or projections, in which case the parties shall discuss and agree upon a new factor.

Morals of the story:

The game: So presumably, this is before taxes, then? And yes, the plus, minus, multiplied and divided by signs are in the actual rule. Just in case a team tries to get out of this on a technicality...like they couldn't read the actual words.

Life: I've always wondered how companies determine salaries for their employees. They must use a formula like this, only with a few variations: the working middle class employees' salary shall be determined by adding the total potential hours worked and the talent/experience of said individual, divided by what the company actually thinks they are worth even if it's less than their actual value, minus the amount of money that must be reserved for executive salaries and bonuses, multiplied by the minimum wage the employee would be earning if they didn't have the ambition to claw their way to middle management. I didn't major in accounting, but I'm pretty sure it equals less than $100,000.

Next up: Part 2 of the Lower and Upper Limits.

An NHL team must have a salary room of their own

2011-02-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

The game: Montreal Canadiens' vs. Edmonton Oilers. Jordan Eberle is back. James Wisniewski is out. Eberle and Ryan Jones just scored 15 seconds apart to make it 3- 1 in the third period.

In case you need to put the name and the talent to the face: Oregonlive has a great feature about top prospect Ty Rattie, complete with photos. Read all about it at www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

The rule: Article 50.5, Payroll Range System; Lower Limit and Upper Limit; Payroll Room; Lower Limit and Upper Limit Accounting.

Part 2 of (a) Overview of Operation of Team Payroll Range: For purposes of calculating any Club's "Payroll Room" at a given point in time, the Upper Limit for such League Year shall be measured against the Club's "Averaged Club Salary" as defined below. Any Club with an Averaged Club Salary that is less than the Upper Limit has available Payroll Room in the amount of the difference between the Averaged Club Salary and the Upper Limit. As set forth below, if a Club has Payroll Room during a League Year, the Club may use such Payroll Room to contract for or otherwise acquire additional Player Salaries and Bonuses. A Club may contract for or otherwise acquire additional Player Salaries and Bonuses only to the extent of its Payroll Room, subject, however, to certain limited exceptions as set forth herein.

Morals of the story:

The game: Of course there's an exception. How else could you get away with the Kovalchuk deal?

Life: Think of all those gazillionaires on Wall Street who never would have made all that money if there was an Upper Limit on unscrupulous stock trader salaries. And if they did, they would have been traded away to a lesser brokerage firm for a lower salary. And all those working class citizens who socked away their money in stocks, bonds, mutual funds and whatever else wouldn't be putting off retirement or coming out of it altogether to make milkshakes at McDonald's.

Next up: Article 50.5, (b) "Lower Limit" and "Upper Limit."

There's always payroll room for outrageous NHL salaries

2011-02-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

Score!: On Monday, I went to the Portland Winterhawks Booster Club pizza night thinking I'd either defend my title as the fan who buys Ryan Johansen a pizza, or I'd win nothing at all. I ended up with something in between. I won the auction for a hockey stick signed by all of our NHL draftees for the bargain bid of $65. There was nothing like meeting Ryan, but this will do very nicely, thank you.

The game: Edmonton Oilers 4, Dallas Stars 1. There is hope.

Mini bummer alert: The Flyers beat the Tampa Bay Lightning in a shootout 4 - 3. I'm about to watch the replay, but I'm guessing it also involved Guy Boucher flipping his lid and yelling at refs. When you can't have victory, you can have hot French coaches bugging out en Francais. Game on.

As that festive time of year known as the trade deadline approaches, you may hear tell now and again that a team doesn't have salary cap room and therefore must dispatch a player, or that they have a lot of room and can afford to acquire bigger, better talent. What does it all mean, you may wonder? I think it has something to do with this:

Article 50, Team Payroll Range System: 50.5, Team Payroll Range System; Lower Limit and Upper Limit; Payroll Room; Lower Limit and Upper Limit Accounting.

Let's start with this: (a): Overview of Operation of Team Payroll Range. The Team Payroll Range created by this agreement consists of a Lower Limit and an Upper Limit during each League Year for permissible spending by each Club based on its Averaged Club Salary. Team Payroll provisions do not permit clubs to have Averaged Club Salary below the Lower Limit. Nor does the Team Payroll Range permit the team to have Averaged Club Salary above the Upper Limit, except for 2 limited exceptions provided in this Agreement, with respect to bona fide, long-term Player inuries or illnesses, as set forth in Section 50.1(d) and with respect to the "Performance Bonus Cushion" as set forth in Section 50.5(h).

Morals of the story:

The game: What's missing here is the third "as set forth in" provision that allows once great teams like the New Jersey Devils to acquire over-hyped, underperforming talent that demands $100 million plus over the next decade. Key to this provision is the requirement that the player is not required to pull their weight or produce key returns on investment like goals, assists or all around team leadership.

Life: We have lower and upper limits for salaries in Corporate America, but nothing says a certain salary is too high or too low. Hence most companies are "run" by executives who make too much and the actual work that keeps said companies really running is done by people who make too little. Companies should try the food service system, where everybody makes a flat fee as required by law and the real money is earned through tips for exceptional service. If you work on the top floor of a building and make more money than God while spending most of your day in your fantasy whatever league, making paper clip forts and waiting for someone else to tell you how to take charge, then you make your little flat fee and go home. On the other hand, if you work on the middle or lower floors, but you have gone above and beyond your job description each and every time you take on a task, then you get that automatic 20 percent gratuity they tack onto room service, plus whatever else satisfied customers add on top of it. You save diligently, buy a bar in Mexico and eventually end up serving little drinks with umbrellas in them to the CEO and his buddies who have all lost their hair, their jobs and their wives. Justice sometimes takes a while, but it's always worth it.

Next up: The second half of the overview, which defines "payroll room."

Get ready Columbus, Ryan Johansen is coming your way

2011-02-13T11:59:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle Thunderbirds.

The stats:

-- Winterhawks 8, Thunderbirds 2.

-- Portland went 6 for 7 on the power play, a season high.

-- Rookie defenseman Josh Hanson netted his first WHL career assist. Stay tuned. He graduated from high school at 16...imagine what he'll do once he starts getting more ice time.

-- Seth Swenson scored his second goal of the season, one week after scoring the first (which by the way, was the first time he'd scored in a year). The player to watch in the playoffs.

-- Columbus Blue Jackets' top prospect Ryan Johansen scored two goals in two minutes in the second period, and was thought to have scored a third for the hat trick. A video review led to the final ruling that the goal was in fact scored by his linemate Brad Ross on a deflection.

-- Oh, and the almost hat trick goal? Brad scored that 39 seconds after Riley Boychuk dove to put one into the Seattle net. And, it was on a power play.

-- Later, in the third period, defensemen Taylor Aronson and Joe Morrow scored three minutes apart. Are you with me so far?

You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks

Like I said, when Brad and Riley stay out of the box, they know how to dazzle: Brad did not rack up one single penalty minute. Riley only got a four minute minor early in the game, and then he got on with the business of scoring.

Taylor and Joe never give me but a few words in interviews, but who cares?: Defensemen who score like that can stand there and pick their noses while I'm talking, I'd still be impressed. Well, ok, maybe that's a bit extreme. Hold the boogers and give me a quote whenever possible. And by all means, do carry right on with the scoring.

So Portland's getting on with the business of scoring, but meanwhile back in Pittsburgh: That goonfest against the New York Islanders was just the start of the Twilight Zone that is the Penguins:

First, Mario Lemieux isn't pulling any punches either. He issued this statement about the events of the other night: http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=552605.

Second, when your bus collides with a car and you are in full gear and need to get to an outdoor practice in Central Park: Hail a cab, of course. It is New York City, after all (http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=552545).

About that almost hat trick and the player who scored it: I first took notice of Ryan Johansen during an early season game in 2009, when he gave a good shove to an opponent and laid down a play that led to the Winterhawks scoring. I don't remember who the opponent was, or what period it was or what the score ended up being. But I remember looking down to take note of the player: Johansen, number 19. Little did I know that about five months later, I would meet him.

It was all a single moment of chance. I picked the winning ticket at the Portland Winterhawks Booster Club pizza night, where I bought him a pizza and he got to sit at my table. In the course of about an hour, I learned the following:

-- Why hockey players love golf: it's outside and non-hockey related. But contrary to my belief, it has nothing to do with being allowed to wear ugly pants in public.

-- That Nino Niederreiter does not in fact ride around in a town car with Troy Rutkowski at the wheel, chirping orders at him ("turn left up here, it's faster....turn up the heat, it's cold in here...can we stop for a snack?")

-- That Ryan had no idea he would go fourth in the 2010 Entry Draft, one spot ahead of Nino. In fact, he was more interested in talking about how cool Nino is than he was in talking about himself.

Moral of the story: Get ready, Columbus. Something very special is coming your way.

As for the rest of the NHL's future: If you've not already done so, I'd suggest you tune into the frequency of the following Winterhawks prospects and rookies:

-- Ty Rattie. It took me three tries before he realized I was talking about him and not the team when I asked him "what's it like to be awesome?" I don't remember the last time he went without an assist or a goal in a game.

-- Sven Bartschi. Switzerland's newest gift to Portland puts Swiss cheese on his Subway sandwiches, gives the very best soundbites, scores one-handed breakaway goals (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKWTAHAldJA), and has already played in the World Juniors and the Top Prospects game. Easily a top ten draft pick this year. Ditto for Ty.

-- Joe Morrow. First, let me be clear. Joe is one of the most quiet, shy, polite and totally upstanding players on this team, who would never pick his nose during an interview. Never. Period. Exclamation point. He likes to score breakaway goals whilst diving (http://www.nhl.com/ice/search.htm?q=JoeMorrow&tab=videos). When he's not doing that, he likes to score slapshots from the point. And he knows how to drop the mitts. In the latest midterm draft rankings, he was ranked 16th overall. Defensemen tend to go later in the draft, but Joe is my dark horse candidate for a surprise first round pick.

-- Tyler Wotherspoon. He's racking up the points of late, including a perfect beauty (or two) in a recent 8 - 2 routing of the Tri-City Americans (http://blog.oregonlive.com/winterhawks/2011/02/post_19.html.

-- Seth Swenson. As he picks up more ice time, he's picking up more goals. I spoke to him recently, and the coaches have been pushing him to work on all aspects of his game, especially finishing his scoring chances. Mission accomplished. Look for a big finish this season and a stronger 2011 - 2012 season. He shared the Portland Winterhawks' academic achievement award last year with Vancouver Canucks' prospect Stefan Schneider (currently playing for the AHL's Manitoba Moose).

-- Josh Hanson. Graduated from high school at 16, just in time to come to Portland and play hockey. I've only met him once, during which interview I goofed and asked him where he was going to high school. In case you want to know just how dinged out I was: the article about his graduating early was located on oregonlive.com, where I also blog. Way to go, Scrappy Doo. Not one of my finer moments, to be sure.

-- Jason Trott. Still working his way up to some serious ice time, but he has already notched up his first WHL goal and he must be taking fighting lessons from Riley, because he's pretty good with dropping the mitts too.

-- Brendan Leipsic. I believe he's officially the smallest player on the Winterhawks' roster. Not that you'd notice, because he gets back up when you knock him down, he likes to chirp and he doesn't take anyone's crap. Oh, and if you need someone to score on penalty shots and shootouts and what not, he's your boy. And, he wins hands down for best goal celebrations. When he notched his first WHL career goal, he went totally airborne when he slammed into the glass. I don't mean like he just jumped off his feet a little bit. I'm talking totally, completely airborne. Genius. Along with teammate Derrick Pouliot, he was recently chosen to wear one of the As for Team West at the Under-17 World Challenge. Keep him on the radar for the following in 2012: World Juniors, Top Prospects Game and the NHL Entry Draft.

You tell me, you were watching it

2011-02-12T01:49:00.001-08:00

Audience participation: I was at a Portland Winterhawks game, so I didn't see this..but can someone explain how this happened? New York Islanders 9, Pittsburgh Penguins 3. Wait, don't answer that, I got it: combined penalty minutes: 346, including 12 fighting majors.

I don't know how this happened either: Tri-City Americans 5, Portland Winterhawks 0. But I think it might have something to do with this: per the whl.ca web site, Portland PIMs 51, Tri-City Americans' PIMs 25.

What went up had to come down: Two nights ago in Spokane, Portland scored five goals in just under 2 minutes in the first period. And it went uphill from there. You can read about both games here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Note to Ryan Johansen's parents: We have victory. At last, I got an original quote. I was so impressed I showcased it as 'bite of the night on oregonlive: "we didn't play the game in the moment." Of course, it was about a losing game, but still...it's progress.

Or, you can always the ole turn an answer into a question technique: When I asked Ryan (who just took over as the Columbus Blue Jackets' top prospect) what exactly happened out there he said "you tell me, you were watching it." I believe the key was penalties, penalties, penalties for Portland. Ryan and Sven Bartschi agreed: in fact they pointed out its how Tri-Cities beats us most of the time.

You can't score from the box, my little rookies: Sven has spent four or more minutes in the box for the last three games. He didn't have much of a reason, except for plain old bad luck.

Morals of the story: Not sure how the Pens fell to the worst team in the league. I'm not sure I want to. I don't know how the Hawks ended up in the box and not on the scoreboard. But sometimes it is just as simple as getting away from your game, not living or playing in the moment and simply running out of luck. The Hawks need four points and Seattle needs to lose four in order for the team to clinch a playoff berth. The Pens need to stop losing to one of the worst teams in the league. For now, the luck has run out and they will have to find some other way...like ya' know....playing the game in the moment. It works in life, so it should work in hockey.

A playoff journey starts with a single trade deadline

2011-02-09T19:18:00.000-08:00

This is yet another reason why I own a Mini Cooper: I popped into Rasmussen Mini for a quick repair and some smart cookie had tuned into the Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens game on the waiting room TV. So, since I was held hostage to an original six matchup/boxing match:

The games: Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens. Edmonton Oilers vs. Chicago Blackhawks.

The scores: Boston 8, Montreal 6. Chicago 2, Edmonton 0 going into the third period. But Jordan Eberle is back, so not all is lost.

187: number of combined penalty minutes in the Boston vs. Montreal game.

Goalies are the new enforcers: Carey Price and Tim Thomas went at it, in a pretty even fight where both goaltenders' jerseys were removed. To refresh on the rule regarding jerseys and fights:

47.13, Jerseys: A player who engages in a fight and whose jersey is removed (completely off his torso), other than through the actions of his opponent in the altercation or through the actions of the Linesman, shall be assessed a game misconduct penalty. A player who engages in a fight and whose jersey is not properly tied down, and who loses his jersey in that altercation, shall receive a game misconduct penalty.

Standing penalty bench only: In the NHL Rulebook, the penalty bench has to be built to hold 10 people, including the penalty timekeepers. Of course, it doesn't tell you what size people it should hold. Like, for example, 8 foot 10 NHL defensemen. That might explain why -- after a line brawl near the end of second period in the Boston vs. Montreal game -- players were standing in the penalty bench because six from each team went to their respective boxes.

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this update from Portland: The Winterhawks just scored 5 goals in 1:59 late in the first period in a game against Spokane. The first goal was scored (shorthanded) by Taylor Peters, who was invited to the Pittsburgh Penguins' training camp last fall, and the rest were the work of NHL draft picks (Brad Ross, Riley Boychuk, Ryan Johansen, Craig Cunningham).

It is midway through the second period, and they are now leading Spokane 7 - 2. Winterhawks' goal number 6 was courtesy of Craig and thank you 2011 draft prospect Joe Morrow for number 7. Oh, and wait, we're up to 9 - 2. Number 8 and 9 were courtesy of Brad Ross, with the hat trick (number 8 was a breakaway). And he just came back from a minor concussion that kept him out of the last Winterhawks' game. For those who've been following my oregonlive blog, the Brad Ross breakaway curse is broken. The guilty party must be on vacation.

Tick tock: With the trade deadline looming, it seems appropriate to cover that article in the NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement.

Less is more: In Article 1, Definitions, "trade deadline" shall have the meaning set forth in Section 13.12(j) of this Agreement.

13.12(j), Transfers to/from Minors: A player may be loaned to a club of any League affiliated with the League at any time up to 3 pm New York Time of the 40th day immediately preceding the final day of the regular season (the "trade deadline").

Morals of the story:

The game: Oh. So that's why it changes from year to year.

Life: If we had a trade deadline for milestones in life, would it stop us from slacking and procrastinating and proclaiming that someday we'll move the coast of Spain to write a best selling novel? If we knew that if we didn't achieve the goal, produce the novel, lose that weight, whatever, that we would be toast by a very specific deadline, would we let it slide? Discuss.

Next up: I may be forced to take a detour for some post-Winterhawks reflection. We are now up 10 - 5 as I post this.

NHL Rule 48.1: No bumps to the noggin. Sort of.

2011-02-07T19:34:00.001-08:00

The games: Vancouver Canucks vs. Ottawa Senators. Edmonton vs. Nashville. Chicago vs. Calgary.

Why I chose them: Jordan Eberle and Shawn Horcoff are back. The Oilers just shut out the Predators. The Vancouver vs. Ottawa game is in high-def, a rarity on Center Ice.

Back to the future: With concussions and head hits in the news these days, I thought this would be a good time to refresh on the newest addition to the NHL Rulebook.

The rule: NHL 2010 - 2011 Rulebook. Rule 48, Illegal Check to the Head.

What it is: 48.1, Illegal Check to the Head. A lateral or blind side hit to an opponent where the head is targeted and/or the principal point of contact is not permitted.

What they do about it: No minor penalty provision. They go directly to a major penalty and an automatic game misconduct. The Referee, at his discretion, may also apply a match penalty if in his judgment, the player attempted to or deliberately injured his opponent with an illegal check to the head. any player who incurs a total of two game misconducts under this rule, in regular or Playoff games, shall be suspended automatically for the next game his team plays. For each subsequent game misconduct penalty the automatic suspension shall be increased by one game. If deemed appropriate, supplementary discipline can be applied by the Commissioner at his discretion.

Aha. I see what's wrong with this rule: The punishment doesn't fit the crime. I mean, really, what's a few game misconducts and a suspension going to do to the offender, except piss him off a little? In the end if you bump a guy's noggin, eventually you come back. Trouble is, the guy you whacked usually doesn't, because he can't.

That is why I say let's give this a try: If you wonk a dude's noggin hard enough to take him out for the season or longer, then you are suspended for the same amount of time it takes to him to fully recover and return to the game. And if he has to retire because of your antics, then guess what? Better brush up that golf game, 'cause in my book you'd be toast.

Come on now, Sam, that's a little harsh now isn't it?: Nope. Head hits are a cheap, cowardly and easy way out of a hard situation. You want to beat a top 10 team or a player like Sidney Crosby in a huge game during the stretch run or playoffs? Play a better, faster, smarter game. If you are good enough to get into a top line in the NHL, then you are good and smart enough to find a better way than blind side/open ice hits to the head. Period. End of rant.

The Sidney Crosby factor: Is the League paying more attention just because it's him? Maybe, but think about it this way: it's just another way he's changing the game. Concussions have ruined players' careers and lives when they were still in their prime. The most exciting thing about players like Malkin and Crosby is that the best is yet to come, provided they recover properly and fully from their injuries. To miss out on what they will contribute to the sport in the next 10 to 15 years would be truly unfortunate and tragic.

Yeah, Sam, but lots of players got hit in the head and they went right on playing: Right you are. Eric Lindros carried right on, and we all know what happened to him, don't we?

Morals of the story:

1) The punishment needs to fit the crime, and it needs to apply to every player, every time. It works for disciplining little children, it should work for the NHL.

2) Smart players should find a smarter way to deal with their opponents. Like, ya' know, the kind of goals that Jordan Eberle scored in his first NHL goal. Or Derek Stepan's hat trick in his NHL debut. Cool, smart stuff like that.

3) Like life, when you're seriously injured in hockey, it's always better to take the long view. Coming back for a batch of playoff games may seem noble and necessary at the time, but if it means not ever playing to your potential again or missing part of the next season, it's not worth it.

Hey, I know, let's get all our star players on the injured reserve list at the same time.

2011-02-05T12:40:00.000-08:00

The games: Anaheim vs. Colorado (2/5), Pittsburgh vs. Buffalo (2/4).

This is not good: Jonas Hiller is not in the net, due to fatigue and lightheadedness, according to the team.

This is really, really not good: Evgeni Malkin, as many had predicted, has a serious knee injury. His ACL and MCL are torn. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that tearing any body part that ends in CL is not good.

The Portland Winterhawks are in a bit of an injury rut as well: Team Captain Brett Ponich underwent surgery on his left knee Thursday. Oliver Gabriel is out for the season due to shoulder surgery. More painful than the injuries is that because they will both be overagers next season and have signed with their NHL teams, it is unlikely we'll see either of them on our ice again. One game, one injury and they are done. Just like that. And just like the NHL, no one is invincible. But it is particularly hard in this case, because Brett came to Portland at an all-time low with the team, and finally, this year we are in an ideal position to contend for the Memorial Cup. While Brett will no doubt provide other forms of leadership, the likelihood it will be of the on-ice variety is very small. And Oliver is one of the team's best underdog stories. He wasn't drafted in his eligible year, got invited to the Columbus Blue Jackets' training camp in 2010, and ended up signing with them. No one is more deserving of a chance to lift very large shiny objects than Brett and Oliver. And so they shall, if the team continues winning like they are now. I find in general that early hardship in life means one of two things: 1) great character and success later in life because you learn the lesson and you survive it well, or, 2) you keep going down the rabbit hole because you don't handle it well. I've met Brett and Oliver, and for them, I'm all in for option 1.

Speaking of winning, you can read all about Portland's late game heroics against Edmonton here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. Hint: it involves a strong first period, a slightly lazy second period, and a reinvigorated third period, during which two empty net goals were scored in 17 seconds. Look for more ice time and goals from Seth Swenson, who scored last night for the first time this season. Or if you are his teammate Nino Niederreiter, with his very cool Swiss-German accent, Seth Svenson.

Ok, this is just creepy: I'm up to the Article in the Collective Bargaining Agreement about injured reserve lists. 16.11, Injured Reserve List:

(a) A Club may place a player on the Injured Reserve List if such player is reasonably expected to be injured, ill or disabled and unable to perform his duties as a hockey player for a minimum of seven days from the onset of such injury, illness or disability. It goes on to explain that if the player continues to be injured or ill at the time training camp starts, he will still be eligible to be placed on the list.

(c) To paraphrase: Players on the Injured Reserve List may travel with the team, attend team meetings, participate in practice sessions with the active roster. They may also have access to the team's training and medical facilities during regular business hours, but the team may restrict their access during times when the active roster is expected to be there, and for reasonable periods of time before and after that.

(d) Once a player is placed on the Injured Reserve List, the Club can replace him with another player, but he doesn't count against the player's active roster. However, the injured player and his replacement's salary and bonuses both count against the team's actual club salary and averaged club salary.

Morals of the story:

The game: Of course the money counts, and the player doesn't. The NHL is still a business after all. And who wants to hobble to team meetings on their crutches or in bandages and braces and what not, only to be kicked out when the active roster shows up? Injured reserve makes it sound like you're still important to the team, but according to this rule, you're not.

Life: This is a bit like the laws that govern work-related injuries and disabilities. Theoretically it should protect you long enough to let you rehab the injury, and not encourage you to take advantage. While there are some people who truly didn't mean to hurt themselves and just got unlucky, there are also those who scam the system and take advantage, hurting everyone in the process. Pity is, a lot of the time the people who really want to get back to work can't and the ones who are scamming don't want to work.

Therefore, with our new government taking power, I suggest a new system whereby we follow the NHL injured reserve list rule, which does have a provision for discipline by the commissioner if he feels the team has taken advantage of the rule. Kinda like he did when Jersey circumvented the salary rule. Of course all that means is that Kovalchuk makes two million dollars less for two years less. On the other hand, they are losing talent because he is eating their salary cap, so there is still punishment. But still, some discipline is better than no discipline.

Next up: 16.12, Non Roster Player.

Do the time, get your own room

2011-02-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

The games: Dallas Stars vs. Boston Bruins. Philadelphia Flyers vs. Nashville Predators.

Why I chose them: All of these teams boast a former or current Portland Winterhawk on their roster or in their system (Brenden Morrow, Braydon Coburn, Craig Cunningham, Taylor Aronson). Simply put, it's a must.

B equals C: Today, Portland Winterhawk Captain Brett Ponich underwent surgery to repair his left knee. Chatter is already afoot about who would wear the C in his place. This being hockey, there's probably some goofy WHL hockey rule that says someone else has to wear it while he's recovering. But if it's not buried in legalese somewhere, I say leave it where it is. There's more than one way to lead, and it doesn't always involve being on the battlefield that is an ice rink.

Speaking of goofy rules: Article 16, League Schedule; Playing Rosters; Reserve Lists; Practice Sessions.

16.8, Travel Requirements: No Club shall be required to travel on the day of an NHL Game if the average scheduled flight time for the airplane on which the Club would travel is greater than two and one half hours; provided however, the foregoing shall not be applicable if the Club has played an NHL Game on the day before.

16.9, Single Room Accommodations: Any player who has played 10 professional seasons under an SPC and has played in 600 NHL Games (including NHL Games dressed for Goaltenders) shall be entitled to elect to have single room accommodations for all Club road trips.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, basically anything that interferes with the time-honored tradition that is the game day nap is not allowed. And if you've put up with 600 games worth of another player's snoring and not lining up his shoes (which, apparently, Sidney Crosby does) then yeah, I can see where you've paid your dues and you are entitled to get your own room. And by the way, I line up my shoes too. I also leave my clothes in a neat little pile on a chair. So no, I don't think it's weird. Of course, I am also a full scale nutter who likes things a certain way, but that's a whole other problem.

Life: What if you had the travel rule for 9 - 5 jobs? No employee shall be required to show up right at 9 and work all day if they worked overtime until well after 8 pm the night before. Nor shall they be required to stay after 5 if they got up at o dark thirty to attend a breakfast event that started at 7 am and that they had to attend so their company could look good in front of potential clients who really, aren't going to buy your products just because you got up at o dark thirty to eat rubber eggs with them. Furthermore, if any employee is asked to work outside these very specific restrictions, they shall be entitled to a one hour nap, undisturbed, under their desk or at another suitable location to be mutually agreed upon by the employee and their employer. They will be allowed a fifteen minute grace period thereafter to wake up, wipe the drool off their face and eat a small chocolate snack before returning to work.

Next up: 16.11, Injured Reserve List.

Maybe I'm just allergic to non-hockey days

2011-02-02T15:56:00.001-08:00

The game: LA Kings vs. Edmonton Oilers. Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Islanders.

Why I chose them: Anze Kopitar vs. Taylor Hall. The Pens seek to keep the wins going against the Islanders, minus the two-headed monster. What's not to like?

Coincidence, allergy, or just plain cooties?: There was no hockey anywhere on Monday. And Monday night, I came down with a monster cold. Coincidence? I think not. I now have proof that not watching hockey can actually make you ill. There should be a new rule for that: the NHL shall guarantee that all days during the regular season will be active playing days with at least one game on all said days.

The other rules: Article 16, League Schedule; Playing Rosters; Reserve Lists; Practice Sessions.

16.6, Practice Sessions: Practice sessions shall be scheduled at reasonable times in accordance with the general practice of Clubs in the league.

16.7, Game Times: The NHL agrees not to schedule the start time of any Regular Season or Playoff Game before 12 noon (local time). If the League seeks an acception, the NHLPA has to consent.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, if the rest of the League likes to get up at noon and practice from 1:30 to 4, then you can too? Excellent rule. Unless of course, the rest of league likes to get up at 0'dark thirty and complete practice before breakfast. And just so we're clear, if you live on the West Coast, some games do start before noon, just not local time.

Life: I need the NHL workday schedule. I barely function before 10 am, and I much prefer not to start my day until at least noon. I have no problem with ending my work day around 10 or 11 pm, but alas my schedule is not in accordance with the general practices of other working professionals. So into every workday I go, half asleep and useless until my mid-morning snack around 11. Such is life. And like hockey, nobody said it was fair. And nobody said it keeps a reasonable schedule.

Next up: 16.8, Travel Requirements; 16.9, Single Room Accommodations.

Today shall be an off-day for hockey fans

2011-01-31T19:33:00.000-08:00

The distraction/some people can go days, weeks, even, without hockey: I'm not one of them. I'm watching a mix of Lord of the Rings, All-Star Game replays and my Firefly DVDs to distract from the fact that there are absolutely no NHL games on tonight. Zip. Zilch. Diddly. It's just wrong. But 12 more hours and all will be right with the world once again.

Get well soon: No sooner had Portland Winterhawks fans swallowed the news that Oliver Gabriel (signed with the Columbus Blue Jackets over the summer) was undergoing season-ending shoulder surgery, than we learned today that Captain Brett Ponich (signed with the St. Louis Blues last year) will undergo surgery on Thursday to repair a torn ACL in his left knee. He may also be done for the season.

The Tri-City Americans are indeed bad luck: Brett suffered that injury during a Tri Cities game on January 18.

Injured players, no hockey games, what's a girl to do?: Well, I guess I could try to cover this rule:

NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 16: League Schedule; Playing Rosters; Reserve Lists; Practice Sessions.

16.5, Restricted Days. (a) No NHL game, practice or travel to a city other than the Club's home city shall be scheduled on the day prior to Christmas Day. Christmas Day shall be an off-day for al purposes, including travel, and no Club may request a Player's consent to play on Christmas Day for any reason. No NHL game shall be scheduled on the day after Christmas Day, except an NHL game that is to be played against a Club where the average scheduled flight time between the cities involved would not exceed two and one-half hours.

(b) No NHL game, practice or travel to a city other than the Club's home city shall be on the day prior to the All-Star Game. The day of the All-Star Game shall be an off-day for all purposes, including travel, and no Club may request a Player's consent to practice on the day of the All-Star Game for any reason.

Morals of the story:

The game: Somehow I don't think the NHL figured in what qualifies as "average scheduled flight time" during the blizzard-o-rama that is blitzing the Northeast every other weekend or so. Because if they did, then this rule would have to include another section entitled "airport weather strandings" in which they outline what the league can and can't ask of players who are trapped in Dulles Airport, for example.

Life: Did you notice that, thanks to technology, people don't really go on vacation anymore? They take a "working" vacation in which they check email, answer voicemails and never really disconnect. If you want to take a real vacation like the good old days, you have to leave a message that says "I will be in a third world country studying the mating habits of rare birds and therefore unreachable by cell phone or Crackberry, please call my assistant if you expect to get any business done today." That's why we need this rule for Corporate America. No work, semblance of work or attempt to work shall take place on the day before an employee leaves for vacation. A vacation shall consist of 5 or more days in a row, which will be off-days for any and all reasons. On the day of the employees return, no employer may request that the employee actually work or do anything resembling work. The employer may request an exception to this rule, but they are advised that no employee who is properly self-medicated will agree to it.

Next up: Article 16, Practice Sessions, Game Times, Travel Requirements, Single Room Accommodations.

The key to succeeding in the NHL: show up

2011-01-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

The only NHL game in town: The All Star Game Skills Competition.

In case you're wondering how they got there: The Collective Bargaining Agreement Article 16.14, All Star Game, states that The Club or NHL must provide first-class airline accomodations to any Player selected to play in the All-Star Game.

The only WHL game in town I'm interested in: Seattle Thunderbirds vs. Portland Winterhawks.

You're never too old to be awesome: Nicklas Lidstrom notched his first hat trick this season, at age 40.

It was a new low for mispronunciations of Portland's roster (or high, depending on how you see it): Among the numerous botches of our players' last names by FSN broadcasters last night:

Brendan Leipsic: Leepsic (it's prounounced Lipe-sick, unless there's something Portland doesn't know).

Derrick Pouliot: Pouli-AT. (proper pronunciation: Poo-lee-AHT).

Tyler Wotherspoon: Witherspoon. So many broadcasters and announcers have twerked it, he should just change the spelling of his family name.

Sven Bartschi: Burt-chi. (it's Bear-chee, with a litle rolling R).

Good news: Tayler Jordan returned from injury in the Tri-City Americans vs. Portland Winterhawks game last night.

But it was to no avail/"They're snake bit in this barn": That's what the FSN broadcasters said about Portland's bad luck on the road against the Ams, which continued last night with a 5-2 loss for Portland.

Of course he scored a hat trick, he has a hockey name: Captain Kruise Reddick scored three of Tri-Cities' goals. Adam Hughesman and Connor Rankin joined him on the scoreboard.

Dude, give it up: The Islanders have suspended Evgeni Nabokov for failure to report for duty. This might top the Kovalchuk deal in terms of delusions of grandeur. You're 35, nobody in the NHL thought you were worth your salary, the KHL let you go, you're lucky Detroit and the Islanders wanted you. You're not going to help a team get to the Cup with your whining. Report for duty, man up and you might at least help a struggling team get closer to the dream. And, hey, here's a concept: you get to keep going to the rink and you keep getting paid to do so. How does a player get from Nino Niederreiter, who just wants to make the Islanders' roster next year, to this BS? Somewhere along the way we all get lost, and NHL quasi-superstars are no exception.

Good time to refresh on this rule: Exhibit 1, Standard Player's Contract. The Club may from time to time during the continuance of this SPC establish reasonable rules governing the conduct and condtioning of the Player, and such reasonable rules shall form part of this SPC and the Agreement as fully as if herein written. For violation of any such rules or for any conduct impairing the thorough and faithful discharge of the duties incumbent upon the Player, the Club may impose a reasonable fine upon the Player and deduct the amount thereof from any money due or become due to the Player. The Club may also suspend the Player for any violation of such rules.

Morals of the story:

The game: Get over it. If you are lucky enough to play in the NHL and get paid the accompanying outrageous salary, show up and shut up. The end.

Life: If I failed to report for duty to my job, I'd be toast too. That is why I show up, sometimes I shut up (when called for) and I do what they pay me for. May I suggest NHL players follow my fine example. Because at least they get to do something they love -- even if it is for a losing team -- and that's a privilege most people will never experience.

Next up: Article 16, League Schedule: Playing Rosters: Reserve Lists: Practice Sessions.

Signs you need a hockey intervention

2011-01-27T20:28:00.000-08:00

1) Planning your Friday night consists of figuring out how you're going to simultaneously watch and actually pay attention to the All Star Game Fantasy Draft and the Portland Winterhawks on FSN while listening to Todd Vrooman and Andy Kemper on the local radio station. And figuring out which pajamas to wear while doing so.

2) You are in a French restaurant eating lunch and watching the Turner Classic Movie Channel they've got playing in the background and you realize that Hey! That actor looks exactly like Mike Milbury!

3) You spend precious hours on a Wednesday night Googling WHL Referee Matt Kirk to see if any new articles have popped up about him. Because major junior league referees are so popular, you want to make sure you didn't miss anything that might have run in the past 24 hours.

4) You turn on the Center Ice channels on your cable system and get no games on any channel at all. In a panic you call Comcast to inform them that hey, I just paid off this package deal this month and I thought I still got another three months worth of hockey on these channels, how come you switched them off? And declare that you, the consumer in this tough economy, are not standing for any monkey business from your cable company, who's already ripping you off as it is. Only to be told that "ma'am we're looking at our programming here and it says there's a break for the All Star Game until January 31st."

5) You wonder why even the pants that had room to grow in them don't fit you, not realizing that it has been caused by a regular diet of barbecue nachos, beer and salted pretzels.

6) You spend your lunch hour filling out a customer feedback form on shop.nhl.com to inquire as to whether it's just an error on shop.nhl.com or it's true that the Pittsburgh Penguins don't make grown up pajamas or matching sheets for large sized beds.

Not that any of these things actually happened to me... but ya' know, if they did... I'm here to help loyal readers learn from the wisdom of my experience.

As for what to do in the event of said realizations: You could try turning off the NHL Network, canceling the Center Ice package and selling all your remaining Winterhawks season tickets on eBay, but that would lead to permanent brain damage and possible death, so I recommend a 24-hour cleansing ritual (after the All Star Game is complete of course) in which you leave the television off, put the season tickets in a drawer, drink nothing but juice and water, and eat a small handful of peanut butter filled pretzels every two hours. By the next day, you should be able to live like normal people and only watch one hockey game when you get home at night instead of six simultaneously while surfing hockey blogs like this one for things you didn't already know about hockey. Of course, this didn't actually work for me, but I like to keep an open mind and hope that others will be more successful in their attempts.

Oh, and the Portland Winterhawks gave me my birthday present, a 9 - 2 routing of the Chilliwack Bruins, just like I asked for: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Note to the Portland Winterhawks: no, I'm not a whiney stat blogger

2011-01-24T21:52:00.001-08:00

The games: Portland Winterhawks vs. Everett Silvertips, Seattle Thunderbirds and Spokane Chiefs.

The final score: It went like this: Portland won, all three of the other teams lost. Portland reclaimed the number one spot in the U.S. Division of the WHL.

It was also a mini parents' weekend: Due to the back-to-back schedule of the games, several of the players' parents were in town for the weekend. And I see somebody pinged this blog from Langenthal, Switzerland (Sven Bartschi's hometown) and I have a follower from Ty Rattie's family. Welcome all. I hope you like what you read here. Now, I know all y'all like the blog, but I hear tell your sons are not so convinced that bloggers speak the truth. And indeed most of them do not. But this one does. And here's what I know:

1) Behind the great plays and great playmaking are great players.

2) Three cliches in one interview are quite enough. And that includes you, Ryan Johansen. You're an original player, I know you can think of an original quote.

3) Whiney stat bloggers are what my father called T for Tacky. Pay them no mind and maybe if we're really, really lucky, they'll go away when they realize no one's listening.

And this: The NHL is a beautiful, imperfect, scary, ugly place full of unbelievable highs and totally unforeseen lows. Kinda like life. The players who call Portland home for now will soon see what I mean. But in the meantime, you need not fear all the crazy lady who writes about you on oregonlive. I mean you no harm, and hey, I might actually think you're really cool.

I've done it once, and it worked, so here you go. Feel free to share with fellow parents, your sons, and whoever else might need convincing. And for those of you who keep up with the oregonlive blog, excuse me while I go buy a warm and fuzzy cat.

Dear Portland Winterhawks,

Thank you for coming to our city to play hockey. I know you don't necessarily get to choose what city drafts you or trades you later, but you did choose junior hockey over a normal teenage existence. And for that we are grateful. And by the way, that other option...it's not so normal and it's not so fun. You didn't miss anything. But if you hadn't come here, you would have missed what I hope was the time of your life. And all those silly questions you answered after the OT winning goals and Sunday 5 pm losing games and playoffs and almost wins on Nino bobblehead night? They just might come in handy one day.

For our part, Portland fans are proud to say that we knew you when. We remember where we were on June 25 when the Columbus Blue Jackets and the New York Islanders called your names. We wrote about it, even. And some of us sat at home the next day and waited for the rest of the Winterhawks' names to be called. So if someone ever asks you what it was like to play here, we hope you think well of us, as we do of you.

As for the "experts" who hide behind the anonymity of cyberspace, never mind all those ugly things you hear and read and see out there. Real fans don't go there, we don't do that and we don't listen to the chatter. Neither should you. We know that you just went from Portland to the draft to international tournaments to Prospects Games to three games in a row on a weekend. And we applaud you for your fortitude and your grace. It's more than most of us had at your age, or will ever have.

Whiney stat bloggers, my friends call them. I'm not one of them, in case you hadn't noticed. Need proof? Read on. And in the meantime, remember that there are some of us who really do believe that behind the great plays are great players. We have seen the future and it's name is Ryan, Nino, Brad, Taylor P., Taylor A., Tayler J., Oliver, Stefan, Mac, Luke, Riley, Brett, Spencer, Ty, Tyler, Joe, Sven, William, Craig, Brendan and Derrick. I'd say make us proud, but I already know you will.

Yours truly,

Samantha

The ten things I know for sure:

1) When they aren't hanging 10 in the penalty box, Brad Ross and Riley Boychuk know the meaning of dazzle.

2) When they aren't busy squirting refs with water bottles and punching out opponents who go after their teammates, Tayler Jordan and Brett Ponich are two of the nicest, most mature young men you will ever meet.

3) When he's not busting out his latest litany of cliches, Ryan Johansen is a genius playmaker who has more of an edge beneath the surface than you might think.

4) Brendan Leipsic may be small, but he is mighty. He's like those little toys called Weebles, which we used to play with when I was growing up. They wobble, but they don't fall down. And in Brendan's case, they get back up when they do.

5) Taylor Aronson and Joe Morrow don't give you but a few words when you interview them, but they say it all with their game winning goal set ups and their slap shots from the point into "wherever the goalie isn't."

6) Nino Niederreiter and Sven Bartschi are.... well, they're Nino and Sven. They love chocolate, they score goals, they give the best quotes and at 17, they crossed several continents and an ocean to live their hockey dreams. Switzerland has given the world watches, chocolate and Jonas Hiller. And they have given us Nino and Sven. Thank you.

7) Ty Rattie will never get a swelled head because he's too busy using his noggin to plot new and exciting ways to assist, score and nab the game winning goals in Game 7 playoff nailbiters against Spokane.

8) Taylor Peters took honors physics, fights with precision and has firsthand knowledge of Consol Energy Center from the inside. Oh, and his quotes? They're kinda like his fights: wickedly smart, brutally honest and always worth quoting.

9) Keith Hamilton, whether he just misses a shutout or just gets to play for a game or two to back up Mac Carruth, is like a kid who just got a new toy for Christmas. Happy he got the toy he wanted, and happy to tell you about it afterwards.

10) Craig Cunningham lost a C and a team he'd played for his entire junior career in a trade that sent Spencer Bennett and Teal Burns to the Vancouver Giants. But if you talk to him or meet him up close, it's like he was always here from the start.

Beggars can't be choosers: unless their name is Evgeni Nabokov

2011-01-24T10:04:00.000-08:00

The news: That crap-ass waiver rule isn't working for former Sharks goalie Evgeni Nabokov either. After being put on waivers by Detroit, he was snatched up by the Islanders and refuses to report for duty. Ummm...maybe somebody needs to remind him that he just got released from the KHL, where he was relegated because the NHL couldn't find a place for him, and he should take what he can get. I know the Islanders aren't doing so hot right now, and you do go to the lowest bidder when claimed off waivers, so I kinda understand. But dude, it beats looking for the kind of jobs that are listed on the back of a matchbook.

Meanwhile, back in Portland, where the NHL's future is appreciative of their good fortune, the Winterhawks racked up three wins in three nights: And they weren't small games either. The points earned in Sunday's OT dazzler over the Spokane Chiefs helped put us back ahead of them in the division after we had taken a brief pause for the number 2 spot. Read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

I have to write about hockey. It's a moral imperative: Wednesday is my birthday, and I share it with Wayne Gretzky, Montreal Canadiens' prospect Louis LeBlanc and depending on which story you believe, January 26 is also the date of the first hat trick in hockey.

So, in short...it's partay week: Monday is also the 19th birthday of one of my favorite Portland Winterhawks and Pittsburgh Penguins prospect Taylor Peters. Taylor wasn't drafted this year when he became eligible, but I'd keep an eye out for this story. The Winterhawks have quite a few players who went to the NHL via the non-traditional route (Oliver Gabriel - Columbus, Stefan Schneider - Vancouver) or on the second try (Luke Walker - Colorado Avalanche, Riley Boychuck - Buffalo Sabres). I am trusting Taylor to keep up the tradition.

Oh, and it's All-Star Game weekend, but major bummer alert: Sidney Crosby is definitely out for the Game and won't even travel to the game as he recovers from a concussion. Malkin is a maybe. Jordan Eberle is out of the skills competition. As we already know, Jarome Iginla is out and Danny Briere is in. What's a girl to do? Good thing I don't know the first thing about how to conduct a fantasy draft, or I'd be toast right about now.

Next up: Someday I'll understand it, but since NHL players don't get it either, I will just move on from the waiver rule to the next totally unintelligible rule in the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

To refresh, the NHL's waiver rule totally blows

2011-01-20T20:28:00.001-08:00

The game: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New Jersey Devils.

Duh: Minus the two-headed monster, the Pens were blanked by the Devils 2 - 0.

Nabokov to Detroit? Not so fast: The Detroit Red Wings have signaled their intent to sign Evgeni Nobokov, but he still has to clear waivers and it's apparently unlikely that he will. Not but a few days ago, the St. Louis Blues signed Kyle Wellwood and San Jose snatched him up. It's the six degrees of hockey separation. The Sharks are Nobokov's former team.

I don't have a Harvard degree like Craig Adams, but I will now attempt to review how the Scooby Doo cleverly disguised as a high-paid lawyer came up with this one:

NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

Let's tackle one bullshit rule at a time. Since he's been in the KHL, I believe this applies for Nabokov: 13.23, In the event a professional or former professional Player plays in a league outside North America after the start of the regular NHL Playing Season, other than on Loan from his Club, he may thereafter play in the NHL during that Playing Season (including Playoffs) only if he has first cleared or been obtained via Waivers.

Oh wait, I think I've got it: "Waivers" means the process by which the rights to a Player are offered to all other Clubs. Aha! It's the great equalizer: everyone has to have a shot at a player before a team hoards him all to their little salary cap selves. And who exactly gets first dibs on these exclusive players and their rights, you might ask? That's why I'm here:

Part 1/the easy part: If only one Club makes a claim to a player on Waivers, then the Player is transferred to that Club.

Part 2/the fuzzy part where I go make martini and re-read it: If more than one team makes a claim to a player, he shall be transferred to the team that has the lowest percentage of possible points in the League at the time of the request for Waivers.

Praise whatever you believe in, I finally understand something in this flippin' agreement: This is exactly like those sales where they give you 20 percent off any item, but it's 20 percent off the lowest priced item on the sale rack not the brand spankin' new, more expensive item they just put on display this morning. Hallelujah and let there be light.

Back in the junior leagues: The Portland Winterhawks are in the middle of a hockey blitz this weekend. They will play all three nights this weekend: Friday night they will play in Everett and they must turn around and play Seattle at 2 pm on Saturday. They top it off with a 5 pm Sunday game against Spokane. Personally, I think it's an evil conspiracy between the Portland Trailblazers (who must use the Coliseum Saturday night) and the WHL Schedulers to make us play our archenemies back to back. Good for Hawks fans. Not so much for the players, who I predict will get a little punchy come Sunday, literally and metaphorically.

That being said, for players like Ryan Johansen, who informed me that he will not be keeping me entertained with so much as a smidgen of a little scrap because he's never starting a fight, ever, unless it's for one of several exclusive reasons, including defending a teammate or to get the guys fired up. In that case, may I suggest he take the opportunity on the bus ride to or from Everett to review this easy guide from Down Goes Brown on "How To Fight When You Don't Want to Fight." For Ryan, may I suggest employing the best case scenario.

Next up: Check out oregonlive.com/hawks to keep up with me and the Winterhawks fight tally this weekend.

Here comes hockey's future

2011-01-20T09:23:00.001-08:00

The game: The CHL top prospects game, Toronto, Ontario.

The score: Team Orr cruised to what sounds like an easy win over Team Cherry, 7 -1. And that was only with one Portland Winterhawk on their roster (Sven Bartschi). Team Cherry had the other three (Ty Rattie, Tyler Wotherspoon, Joe Morrow).

Small and quiet, but mighty: That one Portland Winterhawk is Sven Bartschi, who was pretty quiet at the World Juniors (Team Switzerland). He did make a splash at the skills game, though, with a one-handed, through the legs breakaway shot, and he scored during the game last night. And he's certainly making noise out here in Portland. Sven may be small and a little more quiet, but just wait. Big things will be coming in a 5'10", soft-spoken package. Ditto for Joe, who is also a bit shy, but has a really nifty sense of humor. As evidenced by his full-on diving shot during the breakaway competition. When I asked him once what was said during a Portland line brawl with the Kamloops Blazers, Joe told me "some inappapropriate things were said." Genius. Three guesses as to what the inappropriate things were. He also gave me this choice bit when I asked him about his gift with goal-scoring slap shots from the point: "I just looked for where the goalie wasn't." Ah, if only hockey were that simple.

Names who are not Winterhawks to watch: Take your pick. The list is long and distinguished and most of it plays in the QMJHL: http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=549992.

Would you like fries with your routing?: Huge scoring differences were apparently the order of business last night in the NHL too: Rangers 7, Toronto 0. Minnesota 6, Calgary 0. Enough said.

If you want to keep up on all things junior hockey, this is the place to be: True, I'm a tad biased because they link to my oregonlive blog, but even if they didn't this is one of the best reads out there when it comes to all things junior hockey, and the prospects game. http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/juniorhockey/blog/buzzing_the_net

Ok, it's not just me, the waiver rule in the collective bargaining agreement is messed up: No sooner had he been signed by St. Louis than Kyle Wellwood was put on waivers and snatched up by the San Jose Sharks.

Up later this evening: look for a refresh on that stupid waivers rule. Stay tuned.

When in doubt, link to your favorite hockey things

2011-01-18T13:23:00.000-08:00

The news: But we liked being number one. The Portland Winterhawks have dropped to second place in the US Division. The team is tied with Spokane in points, but has lost more games. Hence, the #2 spot. I think. I'm not good with math, but I'm pretty sure more losing = slipping in the standings.

Alas, we shall carry on, but without our superstars, who are off showing off their skills (literally and otherwise) at the CHL Top Prospects Game. It's the second year in a row we have dispatched four players: Sven Bartschi (#6 on NHL Mid- Season Rankings, #14 on Bob McKenzie's rankings), Ty Rattie (#11 on NHL Mid-Season Rankings, #17 on Bob McKenzie's rankings), Joe Morrow (#16 on NHL Mid-Season Rankings, #33 on Bob McKenzie's rankings), and Tyler Wotherspoon (#33 on NHL Mid-Season Rankings).

Read all about them here:
http://www.tsn.ca/draftcentre/feature/?id=36559 – Bob McKenzie's mid-season rankings
http://www.tsn.ca/draftcentre/feature/?id=36348 – NHL mid-season 2011 Entry Draft rankings

Joining them at the prospects game will be Team Orr Captain Ryan Nugent Hopkins, who is blogging all season long about his experiences leading up the 2011 Entry Draft: http://www.nhl.com/ice/blog.htm?id=8

And his team the Red Deer Rebels aren't too shabby either: http://blog.oregonlive.com/winterhawks/2010/11/1_deer_2_deer_blue_deer_red_de.html

And if you want to read all about the Top Prospects, of course there's a web site for that. There's probably an app for it too, but darned if I know what it is since I only just learned how to use the space bar on my cell phone text tool: http://www.homehardwaretopprospectsgame.com/main/index/

I wonder if Nino gave him any good tips for good moves: Last year, Nino Niederreiter, who went on to become the highest drafted Swiss player in the NHL's history, wowed with a one-handed, backhander during the Showdown Breakaway Contest: http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/console?catid=35&id=57677

This year it will be his teammates' turn, as Sven and Team Orr compete against Ty and Joe and Team Cherry. Tyler will participate in the Hardest Shot competition.

Just in case the media tunes in to Portland's frequency during the skills competition today and the game tomorrow, here is Ryan Johansen on TSN to remind you of how to properly pronounce Oregon (hint: it's not Oreygone): www.tsn.ca/off-the-record/off-the-record---december-21/clip392086.

And if you want to see who else is watching the prospects, head East: http://theprospectpark.blogspot.com/

Or if you just want to learn about how to tell if your team bus is on fire, read NHL Players Letters to Santa and pick up tips for dominating the NHL Fantasy Draft, this is a must: http://www.downgoesbrown.com/

Happy reading! Whilst our prospects are back East dazzling, self-respecting hockey fans in Portland will be reporting for duty at the Memorial Coliseum at 7 pm sharp to watch the Winterhawks take on the Tri-City Americans. Look for an update on oregonlive tomorrow.

Portland Winterhawks fans like being number one, if you don't mind

2011-01-15T18:39:00.001-08:00

The games: Montreal vs. Rangers, Edmonton vs. LA, Chicago vs. Nashville. Portland Winterhawks vs. Kamloops Blazers.

Why I chose them: Mike Cammalleri is back from his battle with strep throat cooties, Anze Kopitar vs. Taylor Hall, and thanks to recent losses, Portland's #1 division and conference standings are on the line tonight. Feels kinda like a playoff, now that I think about it.

Prospect watch: Non-Portlanders tuning in to the CHL Top Prospects Game this week should keep an eye on the following: Sven Bartschi, Ty Rattie, Tyler Wotherspoon, Joe Morrow. Sven is on Team Orr, the others are all on Team Cherry.

A for the A: Ty Rattie has been named an alternate captain for Team Cherry. Ty and his linemate Sven Bartschi are the Ryan Johansen and Nino Niederreiter of the 2011 Entry Draft. Look for Sven and Ty to go top 10, very likely close to one another. And don't worry about NHL greatness going to their heads. I've spent quality time getting to know them, and if who they are now is any sign, nothing of the sort will be happening. When I asked Sven about his goals for this year, he told me "I just hope I get to play a lot." Done. When I asked Ty what it was like to be awesome, he thought I was talking about the team. It took me three questions before he realized I was asking him what it was like to be awesome personally, and even then he still credited good linemates and teammates as part of his success. I'm in for Joe going top 20, and at least one mock draft is with me. Mike Morreale of NHL.com has him going 16 to the Colorado Avalanche, which would be supremely cool since they already drafted two other Winterhawks (Luke Walker, Troy Rutkowski).

He got lucky twice: I was most distressed when Portland traded Spencer Bennett and Teal Burns to the Vancouver Giants. But we gained an equally awesome play in Craig Cunningham and Spencer and Teal are wasting no time helping Vancouver rock the house. Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/4gaorfw. The first time I interviewed Spencer, ironically enough it was a winning game against Vancouver in which he scored two goals. When I asked him about his success that night, he said "I got lucky twice." And so he did. Carry on boys. If you hear a Winterhawks fan cheering you the next time you're back in Portland, it was me. I did it. And I'll do it again.

The rule: 16.4, Active Roster Size: Playing Roster. (a) For the 2005/6 season and thereafter, there shall be a maximum of 23 Players on each Club's Active Roster at any one time, provided, however, that on the date of each season's Trade Deadline, a Club's Active Roster may be increased to any number of Players the Club, in its discretion, so determines, subject to Article 50 hereof. (b) Except in case of emergency, there shall be no reduction of the required minimum Playing Rosters of the Clubs, below 18 skaters and 2 goaltenders.

Morals of the story:

The game: This is like one of those complicted math equations from high school. If two trains leave the station at the same time and one makes three stops of 10 minutes each on a route with 20 stops and one makes one stop of 10 minutes on a route with 25 stops, which one will arive at the next station first? I thought this sport was all about keeping it simple. So are there 23 players on the roster, or aren't there?

Life: It could be a good and bad thing if we had this rule for Corporate America during the bad economy. On the one hand, if companies were required to keep their full employee roster, nobody would have to worry about being fired. On the other hand, our spend now, pay later culture would never have a wake up call to make us think about our spending habits, and rethink whether the rate race is really worth it. We don't have a legally binding agreement that makes it so, but getting fired, job hopping and the like are just life's way of pushing us towards the roster we really belong on. I find it best not to fight fate, because a lot of the time it leads you right where you should have been all along.

Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, 16.5, Restricted Days.

184 days of hockey isn't nearly enough, but I guess it will do

2011-01-13T21:09:00.000-08:00

The game: Edmonton Oilers vs. San Jose Sharks.

Why I chose it: Because Vancouver vs. Rangers and Philly vs. Boston just isn't doing it for me tonight.

I'm pretty sure I picked the right game, though: Edmonton's up 3 - 0 as the clock is running out on the second period. Plus, Center Ice has the game in hi-def. Things are looking up.

Not so much in Portland: Where we fell to the Spokane Chiefs 4 - 3, as part of operation "wait until the third period to show up and score." They hit the road to Kelowna and Kamloops for weekend games, where I suggest employing operation "show up in the first period and keep showing up until we win."

Prospect alert: On the other hand, next week Portland will dispatch four sprightly young things to the CHL prospects game. This year, we will send Sven Bartschi, Ty Rattie, Tyler Wotherspoon and Joe Morrow. It's an even split: two defensemen (Tyler and Joe) and two top-ranked forwards (Ty and Sven). All are sitting pretty in the mid-term scouting rankings. Look for Ty and Sven to easily get drafted top 10 in 2011 and keep an eye on my personal dark horse favorite for a top 20 draft pick, Joe Morrow.

Hey look! A rule I understand: 16.1 League Schedule (82 games), 16.2, Playoff Games (four rounds, with each series in each round having a maximum of 7 games).

But I learn something new every day: 16.3, Length of Season. Without the NHLPA's advance written consent, the Regular Season will be scheduled over a period of not less than 184 days. Each Club will play at least one NHL game during the first three days of the Regular Season and at least one NHL game during the last three days of the Regular Season.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, this would be the no cop-out rule, where you must show up and play in the waning days of the regular season, even if you are out of contention for the playoffs. This is where I mention that nowhere in this rule does it say you have to like it.

Life: Clearly, workaholic America needs this rule. Unless employees provide advance written consent, no company shall make their staff work beyond the standard 40 - 45 hour work week or check email/messages/call in to conference calls whilst on vacation. If company wishes to seek special dispensation and overwork employees to the point where they become useless and unhappy, they must submit said request in writing to employees a minimum of 30 days in advance, so staff may have ample time to review said request before tearing it to shreds, throwing it in your face and telling you to piss off.

Next up: 16.4, Active Roster Size; Playing Roster. 16.5, Restricted Days.

Things you didn't know you didn't know about hockey

2011-01-13T00:40:00.001-08:00

The game: Spokane Chiefs 4, Portland Winterhawks 3 (WHL). Apparently, operation we'll show up around the middle of the third period is still in effect for the Hawks.

Other than that, here is what I learned: I had two Australians sitting next to me who had never watched a hockey game. Of all the people to sit next to, they picked me. Oh, the irony. They asked me "now, you can explain this game to us, right? And I thought I could, until they hit me with a few choice bits I had to go look up. But I got a few right without assistance. So in case you need small talk for your next office party:

What's on the scoreboard?: The score of each team, the period, the shots on goal, the saves and the player and his penalty time left.

So, the ref just decides to stop play so they can fix the ice? The ref decides everything.

Do they have other events in this building? Yes. How long does it take to melt the ice? Dude, I didn't major in physics.

How thick does the ice have to be? At least two inches.

How long does it take to make the ice? It took master NHL icemaker Dan Craig and his crew one week to set up, paint and properly freeze Heinz Field for the Winter Classic.

Why did they hold the face off on that circle? Because it's held on the face off spot closest to the penalty or the stoppage of play (e.g. goalie catching a shot in midair).

That is what I know. As for why we lost to Spokane, no clue, but you can read all about my attempt here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

The Ducks went down, the Winterhawks went trading

2011-01-10T21:35:00.000-08:00

The distraction: The University of Oregon just lost a heartbreaker to Auburn in the BCS national title game.

The WHL trade deadline report from Portland: All quiet on the last minute blockbuster trade front. The team made a quiet swap of two prospects, both of whom keep our roster full of the most popular hockey names. Read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Crosby's down, so are the Pens: Duh. I missed it, but apparently the Boston Bruins pulled out their signature move and scored four goals in the third period within mere seconds or minutes of each other, to defeat the Penguins 4 - 2.

So, no national title for Oregon, no win for the Pens, no blockbuster trades. But there is this: On Central Scouting mid-term rankings for the 2011 Entry Draft, four Portland Winterhawks are sitting pretty: Sven Bartschi (#6), Ty Rattie (#11), Joe Morrow (#16), Tyler Wotherspoon (#33). A beacon of hope on a sub-zero Monday, in which we are battening down the hatches for a snowstorm tomorrow night. Or worse, just in time for game day on Wednesday. This happened last year, and the game started nearly three hours late and I ended up staying at a nearby hotel. Stay tuned.

Tonight's mini moral of the story: The problem with luck is it always runs out, as it did for the Pens and for the Ducks. Or, you can do as the Winterhawks did this weekend and make your own luck. And if that luck comes courtesy of the five players who have returned from international tournaments, so be it. Whatever it was, they racked up back-to-back victories against Seattle and Everett this weekend, so I say carry on, boys. I'm already in the midst of paying for my playoff tickets, and I fully expect a return on my investment.

Outrageous NHL superstar salaries shall be greater than the Team Salary Range

2011-01-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle Thunderbirds (WHL).

Why you should come out and watch it if you live in Portland: Because our full roster is back for the first time in nearly a month. Because it's the chance to see our newest acquisition William Wrenn make his debut. Because we lost on New Year's Eve to Seattle, and there's nothing like a little revenge on a Saturday night.

We interrupt your regular programming on the NBC network: Sidney Crosby is out for a week with a mild concussion. What's a girl to do? I guess I'll just spend more time Googling Guy Boucher.

Rebuilding, what rebuilding? There's no rebuilding going on here: Devils Captain and Olympic Gold Medalist Jamie Langenbrunner was dealt back to his orginial team, the Dallas Stars. Lou Lamoriello claims it's not rebuilding, but did say "with the status of our payroll, we were not going to re-sign Jamie next year." Translation for the hockey to English dictionary: We blew our salary cap wad on one player who hasn't returned on his investment and who doesn't need to since you guaranteed him a multi-million dollar paycheck for an eternity, so we have to purge any players who are actually worth more but who we can't pay because we don't have money left to go around.

Now might be a good time to focus on the salary cap article in the Collective Bargaining Agreement:

Article 50, Team Payroll Range System:

Uh-oh. There's math involved: But I think I get this part: For each League Year there shall be a "Lower Limit" and an "Upper Limit" at or between which each Club must have an Averaged Club Salary. The range between the Lower Limit and the Upper Limit shall be known as the Team Payroll Range.

But this is where I get a little fuzzy: Preliminary HRR for the prior League Year mulitplied by the Applicable Percentage minus Preliminary Benefits, divided by the number of Clubs then playing in the NHL shall equal the midpoint of the Payroll Range, which shall be adjusted upward by a factor of five percent in each League Year (yielding the Adjusted Midpoint) until League-wide Actual HRR equals or exceeds $2.1 billion, at which point the five percent growth factor shall unless or until either party to this Agreement proposes a different growth factor based on actual revenue experience and/or projections, in which case the parties shall discuss and agree upon a new factor.

Morals of the story:

The game: Aha. Now I see how New Jersey got away with the Kovalchuk deal.

Life: There should totally be a rule like this for executive salaries in Corporate America: the exorbitant, undeserving salary of CEOs and VPs who delegated their way to the top without actually working shall be determined by multiplying the number of individuals who actually respect said leader by his or her salary and bonuses, then divide by the number of employees who hate him or her, minus the hours said individual spends building paper clip forts and padding his or her expense report instead of working and leading to arrive at the salary midpoint range.

Next up: The results of the Portland-Seattle match up and Article 16, League Schedule: Playing Rosters: Reserve Lists: Practice Sessions.

Yeah, I definitely cursed it: Russia 5, Canada 3

2011-01-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

The game: World Junior gold medal game, Canada vs. Russia.

You could say they defended their silver medal: But that's not what happened as Canada lost 5-3 to Russia after leading 3 - 0 going into the third period. Russia scored 5 unanswered goals in the third, three of which happened within five minutes of each other.

Maybe they should have changed places with the Pittsburgh Penguins: Who beat the Tampa Bay Lightning 8 - 1 in their first post-Winter Classic game. I've said it before, I'll say it again. You don't want to play the Pens in the wake of recent losses. They are the kings of comeback.

The only question was who didn't score?: Well, actually, Sidney Crosby. Or Steven Stamkos. But Crosby did grab an assist, so the streak is back.

Alas, comeback was not the order of the day for Canada: I believe one of my friends calls it a thermonuclear meltdown: Plain and simple...they let the game slip away. Russia took over and Canada never got back in it. But that doesn't mean Ryan Johansen's star shined any less brightly, that Jaden Schwartz was any less brave or that Brayden Schenn was any less spectacular. It just means that they learned one of life's biggest lessons at the worst of all times: never take anything you have for granted. You never know when you might lose it.

So yeah, I think it's safe to say I definitely cursed hockey this week: But the good news is, I don't think there are anymore epic, life-changing games I can ruin.

Morals of the story: Like life, a hockey game (or tournament) never goes the way you planned. And rarely just the way you wanted. Canada thought they had Russia under control, and they didn't. Nino Niederreiter went into the tournament with a promotion from breakout star to Captain and he ended up in the box during a crucial game. And Jaden Schwartz after already having been through more than enough, broke his ankle early on and wasn't able to even try to help his team on the ice. I truly do hope that one day the boys realize that warts and third period meltdowns and all, there was beauty in the midst of the disapointment:

1) Prize for coming back to still do well: Switzerland still finished at a strong 5th place, earning them a chance to return next year. They will play in Group A in Calgary. Hey! You learn something new every day: not every team in the world gets to join the fun. Only the top 10 teams are eligible to attend and compete in the World Juniors. And next year it will be in Canada (Calgary and Edmonton). No, I didn't know that. Go ahead, Facebook, Twitter, call your friends. I'll wait. In the meantime, allow me to issue a safety warning for Team Canada: Boys, if you lose again next year on home ice, you will need to enter the junior leagues' player witness protection program, where you will be forced to watch a loop reel of this year's game at least three times a day and the background music in restaurants, stores and elevators will consist of fans booing you.

2) Prize for oustanding sportsmanship and teamwork: Jaden Schwartz's teammates helping him literally hop out onto the ice to receive his medal. It almost made you forget the score, and it definitely reminded you that the players are better than what happened in that third period.

3) They're all stars in Portland too: Ryan Johansen was named to the tournament's all star team, Nino got promoted to Captain and Sven Bartschi made his first trip to the tournament. I guarantee you when the conquering heroes return, they will be welcomed. Damn the third period meltdowns and fifth place finishes.

4) Meanwhile the younglings did very nicely too, thank you very much: Over at the Under-17 World Challenge, Portland Winterhawks Derrick Pouliot and Brendan Leipsic were named Captain and Alternate Captain of Team West, respectively. They also racked up some pretty serious points and assists, and although it wasn't quite enough for a medal, they finished a still-respectable 6th.

Bottom line: Even two years ago, Winterhawks fans did not have international tournaments to cheer for, or players in prospects games or anything else of the sort. Disappointing though the final outcomes may have been, I hope one day the boys who trekked across the country or across the border realize that what they did these past few weeks was still pretty remarkable. And maybe, if we're really lucky, the hard lessons of this year's tournament will be our gain in the stretch run and the playoffs. Wanting to win is never enough. No matter what the score, the way to win is to do as the Russians did and play like you need to. And you never take any team or game for granted. Hurry back, boys. We have struggled through our own losses without you, and that, I think, will be enough of that.

I think I cursed hockey this weekend

2011-01-03T18:15:00.001-08:00

The game: Canada vs. USA (World Juniors).

It's the all-Ryan Johansen and Team Canada show: Canada led by 3 going into the third period, courtesy of a third goal on the power play by Johansen. His linemae Zach Kassian put them ahead even further with a fourth goal with 15 minutes to go in the third.

Well, they are teenage boys after all: Ryan and Nino Niederreiter got a taste of NHL things to come when they faced off in a quarterfinal game yesterday, complete with chirping and shoving and little digs at each other. Get your ya-yas out now, boys. Because back in Portland, it's back to business as teammates and linemates.

Revenge is best served cold. Really cold.: Canada 4, USA 1. Canada faces Russia in the gold medal game, after cake walking right over the US.

What a difference a year makes: Last year at this time, Ryan was on deck for the CHL prospects game and still learning the finer points of WHL hockey. On his first try at the World Juniors, he heads to the gold medal game. So the story ends a little differently for Nino than he had hoped, but Switzerland still has the chance to at least finish 5th or 6th before returning home. Perhaps it was a loss for Team Switzerland, but for Portland it is always a win when our players compete on a world stage. And let's not forget Sven Bartschi, who has already delivered on early promise and he's just getting started. It's a good day for Canada, and a better one for Portland Winterhawks fans. You. Go. Boys.

Way to be cool, dudes: All the US players skated over to Jack Campbell to offer what looked like some encouraging words for a job well done. The IIHF agreed. Both goaltenders were named player of the game.

But back on the WHL, NHL, whatever-HL front: I might have to stop watching so as not to curse any more players or teams. To refresh, in the past four days, the Winterhawks lost a huge New Year's Eve game, the Pens lost the Winter Classic on their own ice, Switzerland lost to Canada in the World Juniors and Nino spent the final minutes of the game in the box, and now my favorite rookie Jordan Eberle is day-to-day with an ankle injury. I blame myself. I cursed it all. In case you were wondering...no it wasn't the rain in Pittsburgh, it wasn't the officiating in Portland. I did it. And I promise not to watch hockey for 24 hours as penance. AFTER I'm done watching the Canada vs. USA game. And maybe the Boston vs. Toronto replay. Then I'll repent.

The only thing more pissed off than me right now: Team USA's bench. They looked so sad as that clock wound down. What a difference a year makes, indeed.

I was going to recap the top hockey moments of 2010, but Down Goes Brown did it better than I ever could: If you're not reading this blog, you should be.

Parting shots: You could tell by Nino's post-game comments and the Team USA bench how much the sport means to the players, and how much it stings when they lose. But lost in the unfortunate penalties and the blockbuster games that didn't quite go as I had planned, is the fact that precious few players get the privilege to even play in the World Juniors, Winter Classic, Olympics, whatever. Sidney Crosby has done all three, plus the Memorial Cup and times two for the Classic. Shiny things are pretty, but making it that far at all and playing honorably to the very last buzzer is prettier. This weekend, Portland welcomes home our conquering heroes, medal or no. Because for now, they are ours. All ours. Because they did us proud. If you live here, join us if you can. It's Saturday at the Rose Garden, what's not to like?

It's the all Portland Winterhawks, all the time show

2011-01-02T17:51:00.000-08:00

The games: Winter Classic. Canada vs. Switzerland (World Juniors).

About the Classic: Kudos to the Washington Capitals and Eric Fehr for getting it done. Boo to the NHL Network for making it all about the weather. So it rained and the puck bounced a little. Get over it. In Oregon, we do everything in the rain. Except wear fashionable attire.

Maybe they should have followed Washington's fine example and used a different goaltender: Biggest bummer of the night was watching a bad goaltending decision by Marc-Andre Fleury that allowed Eric Fehr to score the second Caps goal of the night. The Pens never looked like they fully recovered from that, and down came their game in front of 68,000 some odd fans on their home ice. As my little cousins like to say, it was a really big ouchy. The Pens have entered a mini-skid at the worst possible time. But I do feel good for the Caps that they are entering an upswing at the best possible time. Plus, how awesome would it be to be John Carlson? Last year he was scoring the winning goal for the US at the World Juniors and now this. Nicely done.

It's the Portland version of the Russia vs. US 1980 Olympic game: It was the all-Winterhawks game as Nino Niederreiter and Sven Bartschi (Team Switzerland) faced off against Ryan Johansen and Team Canada. Ryan is also Nino's linemate. Final score: Canada 4, Switzerland 1. Ryan goes back to his hotel as player of the game, having scored Canada's game tying number after Switzerland claimed an early lead, and pretty much setting up or assisting every other goal or chance. One of the TSN broadcasters (Pierre McGuire, I believe) said "whenever he's on the ice, something's happening." The win sets up a re-match/showdown between the US and Canada. Any self-respecting junior hockey fan will find a way to feign illness, personal emergency or other fake event to get out of work and watch it. Switzerland gets the dubious honor of playing the loser of the Finland vs. Russia game for placement at 5th or 6th place.

Oh, the irony: The power play on which Ryan scored happened because Sven was in the box for slashing.

Don't quit your day job on the forward line: Nino finished the game in the penalty box, after getting an unsportsmanlike penalty for trying to stop Zach Kassian's empty netter. Last year, he was the breakout star of this tournament. This year, he spent the last minute or so of crucial game on the bench. Hey, it's hockey. Nobody said it was fair. But Nino rarely takes an unsportsmanlike penalty, so it was especially hard to watch. On the other hand, it's a sign of his passion and commitment to doing all he can to try and help his team.

Anything was possible: Before he left for the tournament, I asked Nino what he thought the outcome would be if Switzerland ended up facing Canada. He struggled to come up with an answer and then said "Why not Switzerland? Anything is possible." Thanks to Switzerland's early goal and Benjamin Conz' stellar goaltending, for a time, it was. But alas, Canada is on a mission to avenge it's gold medal loss last year and they very nearly lost the chance to do so in the game to Sweden. And nothing much was going to stand in their way. Maybe the Swiss coaches didn't know that if you want to win, you have to feed Nino a chocolate snack every hour, on the hour.

The quirk:

Today, nearly all the match ups in the NHL involve a past or current Portland Winterhawk:

Dallas (Brenden Morrow) vs. St. Louis (Brett Ponich, 2009 Entry Draft)

Columbus (Ryan Johansen, 4th overall 2010 Entry Draft) vs. Nashville (Taylor Aronson, just signed a three-year entry level deal with the Predators)

Chicago (Marion Hossa, Mac Carruth, drafted 191st 2010 Entry Draft) vs. Anaheim (Luca Sbisa)

Phoenix (Jason LaBarbera) vs. Minnesota Wild (don't think they have a Winterhawk on board, but Mac is from there. Close enough).

Philadelphia (Braydon Coburn, who still has his Oregon number on his cell phone) vs. Detroit (former team of Marion Hossa).

Vancouver (Stefan Schneider, currently playing with AHL's Manitoba Moose) vs. Colorado (Troy Rutkowski, Luke Walker, currently playing with AHL's Lake Erie Monsters).

New York Rangers (Brandon Dubinsky) vs. Florida Panthers.

No wonder I'm annoyed and I bought a lot of food that's bad for me at Trader Joe's: Inside of a week, the Hawks gained a great new player and lost 2, they lost our New Year's game, the Pens lost the biggest game of the year except for the Stanley Cup final on their own ice and Sven and Nino didn't unleash an underdog win over Canada. Not exactly the week I was planning. But Ryan did get 'er done with Canada, Craig Cunningham scored a hat trick for Portland, Teal Burns and Spencer Bennett are on fire in Vancouver, and the Canada vs. USA rematch awaits. Now...what's a good excuse for leaving work tomorrrow around 4? Think, think, think.

Next up: The outcome of the USA vs. Canada game and updates from any further blockbuster trades for the Winterhawks (WHL trade deadline is January 10).

It's the New Year. Time for hockey, of course.

2011-01-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

The game: The Winter Classic. Duh. And yes, I've been sitting home watching the all day hype-o-rama on NHL Network.

The other game: Seattle Thunderbirds 4, Portland Winterhawks 3 (WHL).

It was all going so well: Last night's annual New Year's Eve extravaganza was not exactly the glorious shutout of 2009, but they can't all be showstoppers. Kudos to Craig Cunningham for nabbing the natural hat trick and to Brad Ross for making a concerted effort to stay off the penalty bench. You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

But then, there was this: If Portland fans care what I think, here you go: I agree that the questionable officiating had an impact on the game, but the boys also had a choice about the way they responded to that. They could have gotten their heads back into the game and tied it up instead of proceeding to chirp at the refs and get into some mini scraps. And the fans throwing cups and other debris onto the ice was simply unacceptable. What my father used to call T for Tacky. A "nattie hattie" by our newest prize possession shouldn't be lost in all that. Nor should a very choice, well-justified fight that Tayler Jordan started in defense of one of our other prize possessions, Ty Rattie. I went into last night's game feeling a little sentimental because last year's game was due in large part to Ian Curtis, who is no longer with the team. It will always rank among my top sports moments of all time. And Craig's hatter did kinda rival it, but the loss took the bloom off the rose. There. I said it. Now I feel better.

Meanwhile, in Buffalo: Linemates Ryan Johansen and Nino Niederreiter will face off against each other tomorrow afternoon for the chance to move on to the semifinals. It rivals the USA-Canada Olympic game from 2010 in my mind, but it's also a bit sad because one of those teams will not be moving on. oreognlive readers may recall I asked Nino what if this scenario happened, and as for Team Switzerland's chance, he said "Why not Switzerland? Anything is possible." I quite agree. Good luck to Ryan, Nino and Sven Bartschi, who is on Team Switzerland with Nino.

And the younglings aren't doing too bad either: Portland Winterhawks Derrick Pouliot and Brendan Leipsic are playing in the U-17 World Challenge for Team West, where Derrick is wearing the C and Brendan is wearing the A. Last night, they beat the Czech Republic 5 - 2. But wait, there's more. Brendan assisted on the first goal, and scored on the second with help from Derrick and Brendan Harms.

We like shiny things in Portland: Last year, Luke Walker returned from the World Juniors with a gold medal after playing with Team USA. No matter who brings it back, we definitely could use a little bling to brighten our spirits here.

T-minus 30 minutes: It's time to check out and get ready to devote my undivided attention to the Winter Classic face-off. Happy New Year to all and thank you for reading.

What falls down must go back up

2010-12-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

Well, at least they were consistent: Wednesday the Portland Winterhawks fell to the Tri-City Americans for the second night in a row, and the score was the same both nights (Ams 5, Portland 1). Omen, coincidence, or a sign that my hex on Tri-Cities didn't work? Discuss.

I know the streak had to end sometime, but did it have to be right before the Winter Classic to this team?: The New York Islanders snapped Sidney Crosby's point streak at 25 games. And they didn't stop there. They beat the Pens 2 - 1 in a shootout, where they put the cherry on their sundae by denying boy wonder on his shot. Well, it is Sidney Crosby, after all. I guess it's only natural that when he does lose, he does it all the way, the same as when he wins. I don't think I'm as upset at the loss as I am that it was to a team that pretty much everyone in the NHL can beat right now.

Maybe he should just change his name to Brendan: Spencer Bennett and Teal Burns -- both traded to the Vancouver Giants in the Craig Cunningham blockbuster deal -- are expected to get more ice time, and Spencer is expected to play on the first line with Brendan Rowinski and Brendan Gallagher.

World Junior Hockey update: In the "just like life, hockey isn't fair" department, Jaden Schwartz has suffered a tournament-ending ankle injury, on top of his sister's well-publicized battle with cancer. To add to the indignities that nonetheless don't seem to be stopping Team Canada, after a stunning five-point night against Norway, Brayden Schenn somehow was not named player of the game, an honor that went instead to Erik Gudbranson. One bright spot: Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter scored in Switzerland's game against Slovakia. And Ryan Johansen nabbed two assistsin Team Canada's victory over Norway.

Meanwhile, across the border at the U-17 World Challenge: Portland Winterhawks Derrick Pouliot and Brendan Leipsic have been named Captain and Alternate Captain of Team West.

The rule: Article 15, Training Camp; Travel Expenses.

Aha! This is why you always read about players' individual off-season training regimens: 15.9, Conditioning Camp. In each off-season, a Club may hold one conditioning camp for Unsigned Draft Choices and any Player in the Entry Level System with less than 120 NHL games played. Such Conditioning Camps may not last longer than 7 days. The Club must pay for all expenses of the Players attending the Conditioning Camp including, without limitation, airfare, lodging and meals. 15.10 No conditioning camp. Other than the Conditioning Camp described in Section 15.9, a Club is prohibited from organizing or holding any mandatory or voluntary camp in the off-season for any Players.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, this is the NHL's way of saying to players "keeping your butt in gear and in shape is your responsibility. And if you come back to training camp bloated and winded and whining, we'll assign you to the lowest of the low minor league teams in our system until you stop. Good luck and have a great summer!"

Life: Life is kinda one giant "no conditioning camp" isn't it? Even if you did sports in high school, college or professionally, sooner or later that's going to end and you're on your own to stay in shape, eat right, sleep 8 hours and all that. And it only takes a quick look around you on your morning commute, in the cubicles at work, or in line at Safeway to realize that most people don't do it on their own. They don't even try. Which is why we should have a mandated conditioning camp law for all individuals over 18, in which we are required to eat from the four food groups, do at least 30 minutes of cardio every day and avoid any indulgences, like the extra beer at the hockey game or that extra cookie after lunch, in order to qualify for basic necessities like a driver's license, a mortgage or a car loan. If you want to live like an adult, then you have to live it to the fullest with no excuses. Brilliant, if I do say so myself.

And finally: This weekend, I'll count down the top hockey moments of the year. But first, we have to get there alive and kicking. Therefore: There's nowhere to go but up. Portland Winterhawks game vs. Seattle Thunderbirds on New Year's Eve = excellent time to restart a winning streak. Winter Classic = perfect chance for Sidney Crosby to restart another point streak. World Juniors = excellent chance for Nino, Ryan and Sven to keep scoring and winning medals and what not.

Look out Vancouver Giants, here come 2 of the Winterhawks

2010-12-28T15:20:00.000-08:00

The news: In one of the biggest trades they've pulled off since acquiring Luca Sbisa last winter, the Portland Winterhawks have acquired Vancouver Giants' Captain Craig Cunningham. He won the Memorial Cup in his rookie season with the Giants (2007) and he was the WHL Western Conference player of the year last season, when he racked up a total of 97 points (37 goals, 60 goals, and that was just in the regular season). Oh, and he was drafted in the fourth round of the 2010 Entry Draft by the Boston Bruins.

But it came at a high price: In the trade Portland has lost Spencer Bennett and Teal Burns and several future draft picks. I'm as excited as the next person to see Cunningham on our ice tonight, but it has come at the price of losing one of my favorite players. Spencer -- a Calgary Flames prospect -- is on fire this season, and he's a masterful penalty killer. He's also one of my favorite people and a natural leader. Spencer will not be forgotten in Portland, where he scored the 2009 Teddy Bear Goal and assisted on the very best goal ever scored on Portland's ice:

Last year, in the Dash for Cash we were down by one point with less than 2 seconds to go in the third and pretty much on our way to losing to Seattle. After a stoppage in play, Mike Johnston convinced the ref to put a second or so back on the clock and we went to a face-off in front of the Seattle net. People had already begun leaving, assuming the game was a foregone conclusion. And it was. Until Spencer tipped the face off to Chris Francis, who parked a shot in the Seattle net in time to tie the game. It was a hat trick for Chris, who went on to top it off with the shootout winner. Most people think of Chris when they think of that goal, but I always remember Spencer too. Portland has gained a great player today, but we have also lost one. Very, very best wishes to Spencer, who I'm sure will bring to the Vancouver Giants everything and more that he brought to the Winterhawks.

Woohoo! alert: The Winterhawks have been busy since returning from the holiday break. Today, Taylor Aronson signed a three-year deal with the Nashville Predators. Happy New Year to him and his family. By signing an entry level deal he will make more money than I've ever made in a year in my lifetime. It boggles the mind. But like all the Winterhawks who are getting drafted, signed, prospected, etc. Taylor deserves all of the good fortune that has and will come his way.

What, no goals?: After scoring what turned out to be the game winner against Russia in the World Juniors, Ryan Johansen loaned an assist tonight to Team Canada's first goal by Brayden Schenn, as they beat the Czech team 7 -2. But this too, came with a price tag: Zach Kassian, Ryan's linemate, was ejected for a controversial hit on Petr Senkerik that sent the latter away on a stretcher, and Ryan's roommate Calvin DeHaan and Jaden Schwartz both left with injuries.

But minor bummer alert: Finland cooked Switzerland 4 - 0 in the World Juniors, and Nino Niederreiter only managed three shots and was a minus-1. They must not have provided him with an ample supply of chocolate. I'm telling you, just give him a little Swiss chocolate truffle and all will be well. He doesn't even need to see it. Just tell him about it. He got all excited when I merely mentioned during an interview that we have a Swiss chocolate store here in Portland. Trust me...chocolate = goals.

And with that, I'm off to watch our new acquisition take the ice in a game against Tri-Cities. Back to the rules tomorrow. And to repeat: very, very best wishes to Spencer and Teal.

Look out World Juniors, here come the Winterhawks

2010-12-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

The game: Team Canada vs. Russia (World Juniors). Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators. Anaheim Ducks vs. Los Angeles Kings. Edmonton Oilers vs. Vancouver Canucks.

Why: Because Ryan Johansen is going to break out for Team Canada. Because it's the Pens vs. the Sens and Sergei Gonchar faces off against his former teammates. Because Anze Kopitar is a good enough excuse all by himself. Because it's Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall facing off against the Sedins.

It's totally unpatriotic of me, but here's the deal: The Portland Winterhawks regrettably have no players on Team USA in the World Juniors, Therefore, I'm all in for Team Canada and Team Switzerland. Now, technically I'm being patriotic because Ryan Johansen and Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter (Team Switzerland) play here in the United States. Therefore, I can shamelessly root for their teams. There. I said it. Now I feel better.

Of course, they probably don't need my help, but still: Nino has been named Captain of Team Switzerland and he scored one of Switzerland's four goals in this morning's game against Germany. Sven hasn't scored yet, but just wait. He's known for late-blooming heroics.

Since he's going to break out, could the NHL please spell his name right?: NHL.com did a feature on Sven, which is fabulous. Except for the part where they spelled his name Baertschi.

The rule: Article 15, Training Camp; Travel Expenses.

We definitely need this rule at my office: 15.3(e): During the first five days of Training Camp, no player shall participate in more than three hours of practice per day, including on and off-ice practice, and there shall be no more than one practice session per day except, however, that the first day of Training Camp may last up to five hours, for the purposes of photographs, medical examinations, and/or off-ice testing only and, on Exhibition Game days, the three-hour rule shall not apply to Players playing in the Exhibition Game. If a Club wants to operate more than 5 hours on the first day, a request must be submitted to the NHL and NHLPA before July 1.

And we definitely should change our sick and medical leave policy to something like this: 15.6: Any Player who is injured during Training Camp and who has qualified during the preceding season, including Playoffs, for at least 50 games credit for the purposes of the Pension Plan or is on a one-way SPC, shall receive his Paragraph 1 NHL Salary and Signing Bonus until he receives appropriate medical clearance. All other Players shall be paid a daily rate until they receive appropriate medical clearance.

Morals of the story:

The game: I hope there's a rule somewhere that says teams can hold longer practices during the regular season. Because one would hope that teams like the Washington Capitals or Toronto Maple Leafs might want to hold extra ice time to get their team's butts in gears. As well they should be allowed to.

Life: Obviously, we need the NHL's rules for Corporate America, where we have to show up bleeding out one eyeball before we're allowed to go on the equivalent of injured reserve. And where we live to work, which serves no one's best interests. True, America innovates and produces a lot of important technology and medical advancements and what not. But one thing we don't produce is well-rested, happy individuals who aren't caught up in the rat race. For that, we definitely need better rules. Like one for the co-workers who take days off, but not really because they still ping everybody on their mobile devices out of a sad need to show other people how important they are. For that, there should be a rule that if you take a vacation day and attempt to ping co-workers to add to their workload instead of giving them a day to catch up whilst you are out, they should have the right to ignore your calls. In fact, if you're someone who's that sad and desperate to get attention and approval, they should have the right to ignore you altogether.

Next up: Onward with Article 16, League Schedule; Playing Rosters; Reserve Lists; Practice Sessions.

It's the mother of all NHL game days

2010-12-23T12:22:00.001-08:00

The game: Washington Capitals vs. Pittsburgh Penguins in the only match-up before the Winter Classic.

Why I chose it: Ummm.....let me see....oh right.....DUH.

I'm so glad my employer's offices are closed today: The NHL Network is broadcasting an all Caps, Pens, Crosby, Ovechkin fest, complete with Winter Classic promos, a replay of the matching hat trick semi-final game from 2009 and Sidney Crosby Reebok ads.

And you thought holidays with the crazy relatives was bad: I read a tidbit on TSN that Ryan Johansen's family is traveling from Vancouver to Buffalo at 8 am on Christmas morning to watch Ryan play for Team Canada at the World Juniors. Ryan told TSN his little brother is probably going to be a little pissed. So, note to Ryan's little brother: In a few years, the older bro is going to be in the NHL, and making an NHL salary along with Gatorade promotions and what not. So all future Christmas presents are gonna be way better....ya' know, like sports cars and big TVs and stuff. Besides, I know your brother and he's one of my favorite people in the world. And I know that if the shoe was on the other foot, he'd do the same for you.

So, to keep track: The Portland Winterhawks have three players at the World Juniors (Ryan, Nino Niederreiter, Sven Bartschi), two at the Under-17 World Challenge (Derrick Pouliot, Brendan Leipsic) and four who will be trekking to the CHL Prospects Game in January (Sven Bartschi, Ty Rattie, Tyler Wotherspoon, Joe Morrow).

At last, I'm in the holiday spirit: Skating with Santa, Winterhawks on the loose at tourneys and prospects games, Pens and Caps preview. Happy holidays, indeed.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 15, Training Camp; Travel Expenses.

15.3(c)/of course there's a rule for this. It's hockey, after all: No more than 9 exhibition games shall be scheduled by each Club during said period each season, except that this subsection shall not be applicable with respect to any game provided for in Article 24 hereof.

Proof that veteran doesn't equal "old": A Club shall be permitted to dress a minimum of 8 veterans for any Exhibition Game. For purposes of this section, a veteran shall constitute either: (1) a forward or defenseman who played in 30 NHL Games during the previous season, (2) a goaltender who either dressed in 50 or more NHL games or played in 30 or more NHL games in the previous season, (3) a first-round draft choice from the most recent year's NHL Entry Draft or (4) any Player who has played 100 or more career NHL games.

Morals of the story:

The game: So technically, Nino Niederreiter -- who was 17 at the time he went to the New York Islanders training camp -- qualifies as a veteran because he was a first-round draft choice from this year's NHL Entry Draft.

Life: I love it. The minute you're drafted, you're already a veteran. How like life hockey is. The minute you're born, you start getting older and every minute that passes in life is one you don't get back. And the magic number is 30: you reach this age in life, and you're considered a "veteran," just like hockey. Which is hilarious, because once you cross the 40 mark, you realize that 30 isn't old at all. And to those of you haven't reached either milestone: trust me when I say life starts at 40. Because if you make it that far, it's like "bring it on. I made it this far. What else 'ya got for me." I didn't get it until I got there myself. And now I understand: 40 is just the beginning.

Next up: Article 15, Training Camp; Travel Expenses. 15.6 and 15.7, which deal with injured reserve and renting or purchasing a home.

Travel expenses for skating with Santa: $0.

2010-12-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

The games: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. New York Islanders.

Why I chose them: It's the warm up for the last Washingvton vs. Pittsburgh game before the Winter Classic. It's the honkin' tall French captain and flamin' hot French coach versus Nino Niederreiter's future employers. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

The distraction: The second episode of 24/7, in which the Pittsburgh Penguins go on a 2-game mini losing streak and the Capitals win, at last. But I still think Rhys Adams and Max Rupp need their own spin-off show. The only thing more entertaining than the players are the little toddlers who call them dad.

Final scores: Pittsburgh 5, Florida 2. Ben Lovejoy scored his first NHL goal. Pascal Dupuis sealed the deal with an empty netter. Islanders 2, Tampa Bay 1 in OT, thanks to John Tavares' late-in-the-OT game winner.

Be afraid. Be very afraid: I'm getting into the holiday spirit tomorrow by skating with Santa at the new Winterhawks Skating Center. Look for a headline on oregonlive to read "Portland Winterhawks blogger injured in unfortunate Santa accident."

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 15, Training Camp, Travel Expenses.

15.1, in a nutshell: Travel expenses for the player and his family shall be paid for by the Club, to cover their travel from their summer residence to the Club city for training camp, and back to their summer residence at the end of the season. This is based on returning to and living in their summer residence for a minimum of two months. And lest you should think players fly first class when not on the team's cushy charter jets, think again. The airfare that's covered is economy.

What, no compensation for snacks?: 15.2: All players attending Training Camp shall be paid the same per diem allowance provided in Section 19 (a), and shall receive lodging provided by the Club during the period of their attendance at Training Camp. Clubs have the option to provide breakfast and/or lunch during Training Camp. If they do, the following gets deducted from the player's per diem: $12 for breakfast, and $15 for lunch. So, I guess the difference left over is for snacks and dinner.

Morals of the story:

The game: I think I get it. This is the consequence of those gazillion dollar, multi-year player deals. There's no money left over for first class airfare and snacks and what not.

Life: In all the years I lived in New York, I never did the summer house thing. We had summer hours in my offices, but I never talked endlessly on my cell phone on a Friday afternoon ride on the Hamptons Jitney. I never had an affair with a lifeguard who'd barely graduated from high school. I somehow ended up in the city on 4th of July weekend, when everyone else vacated. My "summer residence" was my little room on the Upper West Side. And those were some of the best summers of my life. No free airfare and snacks, no wine-soaked weekends at some plush beach house. Just me and the other diehards sticking it out. It was a lot like Portland Winterhawks' Sunday games at the Memorial Coliseum, notorious for being the black hole of game attendance. Games in the dead of winter on Sunday, against an ok team, boast fewer than 3,000 fans in the stands. But I love it. I love being part of the small but mighty band of fans who stand fast and stay until the end. I prefer to think of it as being an exclusive event that only a few select people enjoyed. And seemingly unimportant though those games may seem to most people, they are just as important as a Saturday night Teddy Bear Toss at the Rose Garden. If you live in Portland, feel free to join us. After all...the more, the merrier.

Next up: The second half of Article 15, Travel Expenses: Training Camp.

Does rent at the Plaza Hotel qualify as a reasonable moving expense?

2010-12-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

The game: Phoenix Coyotes vs. Pittsburgh Penguins.

So, that little mini-2 game losing streak is over and they are back: Pittsburgh 6, Phoenix 1.

They are really, really back: Pittsburgh killed all 6 of Phoenix's power plays.

And he is most definitely back: On the comeback trail from a knee injury, Evgeni Malkin already scored the team's only two goals in the game against the Flyers. Tonight, he racked up 5 points (2 goals and three assists). Are you sure there isn't some rule hiding somewhere in the NHL archives that once classified three assists as a hat trick of some sort? Discuss.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the real stars of 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic: Little Rhys Adams, Craig Adams' son, who can be seen for about two seconds at the Christmas party in his Team Canada jersey declaring "I'm gonna go on the ice!" Or how about Pascal Dupuis' family unit, or little Max Rupp? Forget the players, they're just here to fill space for the other 58 minutes. The kiddies own this one. But the prank where Ben Lovejoy and Mark Letestu return to find their hotel room emptied of all its contents was pretty choice too. I love the part where they declare they're going to find out who did it, and do abosolutely nothing about it.

But if you're pausing the 24/7 DVR to watch the Crosby show: He's extended his streak to 21 games with one goal and two assists. He and Malkin are the two-headed monster, indeed.

Good news/bad news from the World Juniors: Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter are on Switzerland's roster. On the other hand, Team Canada just routed Switzerland in pre-tournament action 8 - 0. For those just joining the fray, Nino, Sven and Team Canada's Ryan Johansen all play for the Portland Winterhawks, and Nino and Ryan are linemates. Routing and all, I'm still in for Sven as this year's World Junior breakout star.

Now, on with the rule: Article 14, Player Assignments.

14.2, Moving Expenses: The reasonable moving expenses incurred by a Player who is assigned during the playing season by one Club to another Club and moves to the area where it is located shall be paid by the Club to which the Player was assigned. This doesn't hold if the player delays moving his family. In that case, costs for him are not paid by the Club, but costs for moving his family are. If the assignment of a Player happens in the off-season, his expenses shall be paid by the Club to which he was assigned, if he maintained a year-round home in the city from which he was assigned, and moves during the playing season from the previous Club's city to the new one. If the player is traded, he gets a hotel room and rental car paid for 21 days while he looks for new digs. Or just moves into the Waldorf-Astoria permanently, which apparently some of them do.

Morals of the story:

The game: I rather like this rule. When I was little, I always thought it would be quite glamorous living in a hotel instead of a house. Provided of course that hotel was The Plaza and I could eat tea and scones every afternoon and have adventures like Eloise, who lived in the "room on the tippy-top floor" with her dog Weenie.

Life: I think there was a part of my grown up self that thought I would have Eloise-esque adventures when I got to New York, and I'd spend my afternoons lounging at the Plaza whilst the world whizzed by outside. Perhaps I should have plotted out a career as a hockey player, because that particular reality never materialized. The only time I set foot in the Plaza was for a business meeting in which I spilled that fancy tea and clotted cream all down the front of my expensive Brooks Brothers suit, and that cream spot never came all the way out at the dry cleaners. Oh, and there's the classic time I thought I'd go there for lunch on my birthday and I woke up late and missed my reservation and I ended up going somewhere else instead and getting drunk on pink champagne, and wandering around the Disney store on 5th avenue asking the salespeople where they were hiding the adult-sized Winnie the Pooh slippers with the little nightlight/headlamp thingy on the front of them. And as if that wasn't disappointing enough, to top it off, I never owned a dog named Weenie either. Alas, no Plaza tippy top rooms, no wiener dogs, no slippers. But I still wouldn't take it all back. After all, if none of that never happened, what would I have to write about?

Next up: Article 15, Training Camp: Travel Expenses.

Speaking of Sven Bartschi, let's meet him too

2010-12-18T11:29:00.000-08:00

His team: Portland Winterhawks (WHL).

Position: Left wing, usually on a line with Ty Rattie and Teal Burns, Ryan or Brendan Leipsic.

Hometown: Langenthal, Switzerland.

But he seems much older: Age: 18.

Small but mighty: Height: 5'10".

Maybe it's all that Swiss chocolate he and Nino eat: He leads the team in goals and points. Goals - 21, the most recent of which was the game winner in his last game before he left for Team Switzerland's World Junior training camp. Points - 47. Trailing just behind him is linemate Ty Rattie with 46. In the pre-season, Sven scored 4 goals in a 6 - 2 victory over the Kootenay Ice. Last I saw, he was also leading all WHL rookies in points.

How do you pronounce that again?: Among the numerous mispronunciations of Sven's last name by the announcers at away games: Bar-chi, Barch and Sven's favorite, Bart-ski. For the record: it's Bear-Chee, with a little rolling R like arrivaderci.

He's a little psychic genius too: Last weekend, he correctly predicted that Ty Rattie would get the teddy bear goal in our teddy bear toss because, and I quote, "I can feel it." So naturally, he helped out a little by telling Ty when the big moment came around, "you have to score right now" and then promptly proceeding to assist on the goal. How did he know? "Because that's always how it is with big moments like this."

No cliches allowed: The thing I love best about Sven is that when you interview him, he is a treasure trove of non-cliched, brilliant answers. My personal choice bits:

On a brutal losing game against the Calgary Hitmen: "we weren't hungry enough to score goals" and "you can't score goals from the corner."

On winning in front of his parents when they were in town: "I told my mom I will get some points for you." And that he did.

This is my personal favorite: When I asked him about his personal goals for the season he said, and I quote, "I just hope I get to play a lot this year." Really.

He's the next Nino. I'm telling you, it's all that chocolate and clean air and water in Switzerland: Nino and Sven departed yesterday for Switzerland's World Junior training camp. Look for both to make a splash at the tournament. Sven is also second among all WHL players on the preliminary rankings for the 2011 NHL Entry Draft.

Moral of his story: oregonlive readers will forgive me if they've already seen this on the other blog, but it bears repeating: if you've even met Sven, you know it's easy to be moved by anything he says and does, because it's all brilliant. Behind the great plays and the great quotes is a great player. Get ready hockey world, something very, very special is coming your way.

If you've never heard of Ryan Johansen, allow me to enlighten you

2010-12-16T11:53:00.000-08:00

First, and most importantly: He just made the Team Canada roster for the World Juniors, which will get underway December 26 in Buffalo, NY.

But before that, there was this: He was drafted 4th overall by the Columbus Blue Jackets in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft. He was the first Portland Winterhawk taken in this year's draft, where he was followed immediately by his team and linemate Nino Niederreiter, who went 5th overall to the New York Islanders. Around that time, Ryan also graduated from high school.

And somewhere in between there, he did this: He played in the 2010 NHL Prospects game for Team Don Cherry, and he just got back from playing for the WHL in the Subway Super Series.

But before all that: I met him last February. Before the draft. Before the hype. Before everything. Now, that in itself was a small miracle. The Winterhawks' booster club sponsors a regular Pizza Night with players, in which among other things, you get a ticket that entitles the winner to buy a pizza for a player and have that player sit at their table. Now, I never win things in contests. Ever. Not raffles. Not free key chains. Nothing. But that night, I stopped for a split second and picked a set of tickets because --I kid you not -- it looked like a winner. No clue how I knew, but it worked. And the prize winner at the other end was Ryan. Think that's weird? The $12 it cost me to buy him that pizza was exactly how much cash I had left in my wallet, to the dollar.

So you see, it was fate: But nothing like the one that awaits Ryan. For that, I'm afraid, the rest of us will have to ride shotgun. Because I will never be able to say enough good things about Ryan if I try, let me just say this: get ready Columbus, something very special is coming your way. Ryan is regarded by experts as a wee bit of a late bloomer, so you may have to wait just a tad. But believe me when I say it will be worth it. Oh, and if you're wondering if his ego and head will explode when he gets there... not to worry. He's the same kid I met last February, except maybe with a slightly cooler haircut. And not a lot of teenagers can rock an argyle sweater the way Ryan does, so he gets fashion brownie points too.

Behind the great playmaking is a great player: And great parents. I've only met his mom, but after reading the Vancouver Sun article about Ryan and his family this morning, I believe his father is one of the regular readers of this blog. If I'm right, then thanks for tuning in and send my congratulations and best wishes to Ryan. Oh, and since he knows how much I loooooovvveee cliches, he'll understand if you tell him that Samantha said he's reached the quota with using surreal in interviews. It is real, dude. Enjoy the ride.

Oh and in case you need greater proof than my word: Google him or visit nhl.com and look him up. My personal recommendation is the interview where he and Nino interviewed each other at the Draft Combine. It's classic. A true vintage moment, if there ever was one.

And speaking of breakout stars at the World Juniors: To digress, I'd also keep an eye on Nino's fellow Swiss genius Sven Bartschi. On this year's preliminary draft rankings, Sven is second among WHL players. To repeat: to whatever city drafts him, get ready because something very special is coming your way too.

But you see, I owe Ryan more than he knows: This blog will soon be moving to Kukla's Korner, where I hope readers will continue to enjoy it and will find other blogs and information they might also enjoy. The entry that helped me score that gig was entitled "You Had Me at Draft Picks Four and Five." As its title implies, it was a mini-prospect watch about Ryan, Nino and the other draft picks that Portland is hoarding at present. I will probably never win another raffle, key chain, whatever in my life. But that's ok, because once was enough for me.

As for Ryan and family: Thanks again for reading, happy holidays and safe travel to Buffalo.

Up next: Back to topic with the collective bargaining agreement.

What goes up must come down. Sort of.

2010-12-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

The games; Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Philadelphia. Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Edmonton Oilers.

Why I chose them: Sidney Crosby on the Pens on a tear. Taylor Hall unleashing his first PR booboo to give the Leafs extra motivation. What other reason does one need?

All good things must come to an end, but...: The Pens' 12-game streak came to an end as a bad penalty led to a third goal for the Flyers, giving them a 3 -2 victory. On the other hand the player who committed said penalty, Evgeni Malkin, also returned to play after an absence that seemed longer than it was, and scored both of the team's goals. And Sidney Crosby at least kept his point streak alive with two assists. But still, major bummer alert for the Pens.

Speaking of major bummers: Maybe the Leafs should encourage Taylor Hall to make more comments to the media about being "there for the taking." The Leafs just cooked the Oilers 4 -1.

World Junior update: Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross has been released from Team Canada's World Junior training camp. Linemate Ryan Johansen is still in Toronto, and is expected to be a significant contributor to Canada's effort to recapture a gold medal. Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter will be departing this week for Team Switzerland's training camp, where Nino is a shoo-in for the final roster. Look for Sven to be a breakout star this year. Brendan Leipsic and Derrick Pouliot, meanwhile, are off to try their hand at the Under-17 World Challenge. Best wishes all around and welcome back to Brad. Wednesday update: As expected, Ryan has indeed made the roster, which was announced this morning.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 14, Player Assignments.

14.1, Rent/Mortgage Expenses: A Player whose SPC is Assigned from one Club to another shall be reimbursed from the assignee-Club a sum equal to six months' rent or mortgage, as the case may be, on his living quarters in the city from which he is assigned; provided, however, that such reimbursement shall be made only if and to the extent that the Player is legally obligated to make and does make such payment and provided, further, that the Club's obligation shall in no event exceed for the 2005-2006 and 2006 - 2007 seasons, $3,100 per month, for the 2010 - 2011 seasons, $3,300 per month.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, this is probably a great deal unless you play for the New York Islanders or the Rangers. When I left New York six years ago, real estate brokers were raving because the rent on a 3rd floor walk-up studio apartment with sporadic heat and no view in Brooklyn was coming down to $2000 per month. Really.

Life: Six months rent free for the trouble of moving to a new life, that probably comes with heat and a view? Brilliant. I lived in six apartments or rented rooms over 10 years in New York. I financed all of them, to the tune of almost $10,000 over time. I'll take six months rent or partially rent free, thank you.

Up next: Article 14, 14.2, Moving Expenses.

Teddy bears, winning streaks and skating with Santa oh my!

2010-12-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

The math: Pittsburgh 5, Buffalo 2. Portland Winterhawks 7, Prince George Cougars 4 (WHL).

The streak continues: Sidney Crosby notched up an assist last night, and the Pens ran their winning streak up to 12. Refresh me, why do the rest of us bother? We'll never catch up.

Speaking of scoring: How about that Portland score? Fueled by a near sellout crowd that tossed more than 12,000 bears to the ice in our annual teddy bear toss, the Winterhawks turned a losing streak around with a winning weekend against the Prince George Cougars. And Ty Rattie, NHL prospect extraordinaire, scored the teddy bear goal, turning his own scoring drought around. He added two assists to officially break out. You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Penalty kill is their middle name: Led by Taylor Peters, Spencer Bennett and defenseman Tyler Wotherspoon, Portland's penalty killers are a thing of staggering beauty. And if you're lucky, they'll be coming to an NHL rink near you.

I'm going skating with Santa: Next week, the Portland Winterhawks reopen the remodeled version of Valley Ice Arena, and they are inviting the public to skate with Mr. Claus over the holiday weekend. Genius. So, if you don't see any entries around Christmas, you'll know I'm in an emergency room somewhere, watching reruns and slurping egg nog. If I do survive, then I'm signing up for the "Learn to Play Hockey" program. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The rule: Holy crap! I just realized I missed a rule: Article 7, No Strike, Discrimination and Other Undertakings. More frightening, I covered it and have no memory of it. Oh well....doesn't hurt to refresh now and again:

7.1: (a) Neither the NHL nor the NHLPA shall authorize, encourage or engage in any strike, work stoppage, slowdown or other concerted interference with the activities of any Club or of the League during the term of this Agreement. (b) Neither the League nor any Club shall engage in a lockout during the term of this Agreement. The rule goes on to ban any form of intolerance based on race, sexual orientation, religion, ethnic background, marital status, etc.

Morals of the story:

The game: Smart move, this one. One lockout in my lifetime was enough. The only thing uglier than an ugly win or nasty game is no hockey at all.

Life: For all the Miss Americas who just want world peace, this is the rule for you. You could just add it to the Geneva Conventions: parties engaged in international diplomatic relations shall not engage in a strike, slowdown, lockout or any other action that would lead to war. Brilliant.

Up next: The last of Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

It's game weekend in Portland

2010-12-11T12:01:00.000-08:00

You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive/hawks.

Will the latest episode of the Sidney Crosby show produce the 12th in a row for the Pittsburgh Penguins?: Do I have to ask? But of course. Game on.

I would have stayed up until 3 am for this: Tampa Bay vs. Edmonton. The Oilers win it in a shootout. Guy Boucher, Jordan Eberle and shootout in one game. No drooling allowed, Sam.

The NHL was apparently in the house last night: Brian Burke was in town to check out his prized draft pick Brad Ross (went 43rd overall to the Leafs). He should come to town more often. Brad didn't spend one minute in the penalty box all night long.

My bets for who will score the coveted Teddy Bear goal in tonight's Teddy Bear Toss against the Prince George Cougars: Ty Rattie, prime NHL prospect who's in a bit of a scoring slump. Thanks to his team and linemate (and fellow prospect and potential Swiss World Junior star) Sven Bartschi convincing me, I'm all in. With a little help from Sven and Brendan Leipsic. Possibly Brett Ponich. Game on.

Up next: The results of the Teddy Bear Toss and onward to the next section of the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

The only thing I love more than shootouts: 10-round shootouts with Anaheim and Edmonton

2010-12-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

The games: Anaheim Ducks 3, Edmonton 2 in a 10-round shootout. Pittsburgh Penguins 5, Toronto 2.

Why I chose them: My two favorite teams, a really long shootout won by a rookie and the Sidney Crosby show continues. He scored two goals and extended his streak to 17 games. Games on.

He wasn't too shabby either: Mark Letestu notched up his first career two-goal game.

Get ready. At last, it's coming: 24/7 Road to the NHL Winter Classic debuts in exactly one week. Filming has already begun with the Pens and Caps. Sidney Crosby in his pajamas with his honey nut cheerios. Alex Ovechkin scrolling through his iPhone to call his latest puckbunny conquest. Brilliant. I may stay home and watch it in protest of the Portland Winterhawks, because:

I cannot even believe this: The Winterhawks are down 5 - 0 to the Spokane Chiefs in the first period of a road game. Goalies have already been changed, to no avail. Mac Carruth let in 3 before being pulled and Keith Hamilton let 2 more in. Where is Ian Curtis when you need him? I've never been so excited to hear the buzzer.

The Portland vs. Spokane situation is so bad, I started thinking we should just forfeit and go home. So, to refresh:

NHL Rulebook, Rule 66.1, Forfeit of Game: In the event of failure by a Club to comply with a provision of the League constitution, by-laws, resolutions, rules or regulations affecting the playing of a game, the Referee shall, if so directed by the Commissioner or his designee, refuse to permit the game to proceed until the offending Club comes into compliance with such provision.

Morals of the story:

The game: Does allowing five goals in the first period qualify as failure to comply? UUUUGGGGGHHHH.

Life: On the other hand, if we gave up and packed it in when the equivalent of five goals was scored in our first period, we'd all be living in a cave feeding out of a bag of fig newtons and washing it down with cabernet that's just past its drinkability.

Up next: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, the final sections of Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

What, boy wonder there only scored one goal? I'm shocked.

2010-12-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

The game: Pittsburgh Penguins 2, New Jersey Devils 1.

Why I chose it: The latest episode of the Sidney Crosby show produced one goal and one assist. Is there any team/goalie he hasn't cooked to a crisp? Oh, and it's the first time in his career that Dan Bylsma has gotten 10 wins in a row and Marc-Andre Fleury had a personal best with 9 wins in a row. But really, let's face it, it's all about the boy who wears the C. He leads the league in goals and points. And what did you do today?

Mini bummer alert: The debut of the 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic is airing the same night as a Portland Winterhawks game. Yes, I know it's going to be on like 80 times in 24 hours after that, but I grew up in the days of three network channels with no repeats. I still like the excitement of watching something when it airs for the first time.

Speaking of the Winterhawks: They got behind early and never caught up. They dropped a game in Spokane, where they lost to the Chiefs 4 - 3.

Could it be for real this time?: The Phoenix Coyotes may soon have a buyer in Matt Hulsizer. He's 40 and he's buying a whole hockey team. I'm 42 and today I bought a Team Canada jersey on sale at amazon.com. What happened to my life?

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Player to Minor League Clubs.

13.16, Waiver Prices: Ok. Maybe it's just because I didn't sleep last night, but this rule is backwards. Players with less experience are worth more. I've listed a few examples below. Except as specifically otherwise provided in this Agreement, the prices applicable to Players being Waived on Regular and Re-Entry Waivers shall be in U.S. dollars and are as follows:

For each forward and defenseman who has not in the aggregate completed more than the following years under one or more SPCs:
2 years $67,500
5 years $26,250

For each goaltender who has not in the aggregate completed more than the following years under one or more SPCs:

2 years $90,000
5 years $63,750

Oh wait I get it: Younger and less beat up by years of playing means you're worth more. Ok. Scooby Doo here is on top of things.

Morals of the story:

The game: Seems pretty simple to me. Stay young. Stay fit. Stay worthy.

Life: When we get put on waivers in life, we're worth exactly zero or the sum of an unemployment check until some other company decides what we're worth. But what if the federal goverment passed a law that said when employees are laid off and/or transferred to another company, they are worth a set price that must be paid by the old employer if no one claims you, or by the new employer for the privilege of winning you. Kind of like a signing bonus for getting fired. And it would be in lieu of unemployment/welfare handouts. A win-win all around. Brilliant.

Up next: The second half of waiver prices. And attempting to achieve something with my life before Sidney Crosby goes out and scores another hat trick plus some.

Happy holiday roster freeze!

2010-12-04T17:57:00.001-08:00

The games: Pittsburgh vs. Columbus Blue Jackets, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Colorado Avalanche, and Portland Winterhawks vs. Tri-City Americans (December 3, WHL).

Go ahead, score the hat trick already: Sidney Crosby has already scored two goals, it's only the start of the third period and the Pens are up 7 - 2.

Or not: Final score Pittsburgh 7, Columbus 2. Crosby racks up two and Paul Martin shines with two goals (both unassisted), 3 shots and 20 minutes of ice time.

Things that are hot that are not on the ice: Guy Boucher and his evil plan have the Lightning leading the Avalanche 4 - 2 with two minutes to go in the second period.

Or not: Colorado just scored twice in the last minute of the game to close the lead to Tampa Bay 6, Colorado 5. That is the final score. The evil plan succeeds.

The Winterhawks are back. They're really, really back: Thanks to the Ross-Johansen-Niederreiter line, who collectively scored all of the team's five goals in a 5-1 routing of the Americans.

The rules: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs. 13.13, Waiver Notification, 13.14, Transfer Form, 13.15, Holiday Roster Freeze.

13.13, Waiver Notification: (a) The Player and the NHLPA shall be notified within 2 hours whenever the Player is placed on waivers, clears waivers, or is claimed waivers. Notification to the NHLPA shall be by fax in accordance with Exhibit 3. It's not all bad; the player can request to right to talk with other Clubs about their interest in him during the waiver period, which of course must be provided to the NHLPA by fax.

Pop quiz...how many pieces of paper does this rule require?/I thought the NHL was going green?: 13.14, Transfer Form. (a) Players loaned to or recalled from a minor league club shall receive a transfer form. In order to make said loan or recall effective, the Club must send a copy to the NHLPA and NHL by facsimile, in accordance with Exhibit 3 hereto, prior to that player being in an NHL game and, in all other circumstances, immediately. If the team recalls a player to replace someone who's been injured, is ill or has been suspended, they must submit a transfer form indicating whether the player's status has converted to regular recall or is loaned to his minor league club. (c) Club will provide written confirmation that players loaned or recalled from the minors will receive or have received the per diems required in Article 13.12 by way of the club checking the appropriate box on the revised version of the Transfer Form attached hereto as Exhibit 26.

13.15, Holiday Roster Freeze: For all players on the NHL Active Roster, Injured Reserve, or Players with Non-Roster and Injured Non-Roster status as of midnight local time December 19, a roster freeze shall apply through midnight local time December 27, with respect to waivers, trades, and loans; provided however that players may be recalled to NHL Clubs during this period, and provided further that if a Player is placed on regular waivers or re-entry waivers prior to the roster freeze period and is claimed during such roster freeze period, the roster freeze period shall not apply and the player shall report immediately to the claiming club.

Morals of the story:

The game: How like Corporate America hockey is. You can fire people at any time with only a few hours notice, you have to fill out paperwork for everything and if someone's let go, they get a break, only in this case it's the chance to be claimed by another team instead of unemployment.

Life: I want a roster freeze for my life this holiday season. From December 19 through the 27th I will abandon the rat race and everything that goes with it to rethink what I'm going to do with my life in the coming year. And if I've already begun seeking new opportunities when that kicks in, the freeze will not apply and I will move onto the new thing(s).

Up next: 13.16, Waiver Prices.

So, if Sidney Crosby scored two hat tricks in one week, why do the rest of us bother?

2010-12-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

The game: Pittsburgh Penguins 3, Atlanta Thrashers 2. All three Pittsburgh goals were scored by Sidney Crosby. That makes two hat tricks inside of one week.

Note to said player: Dude, slow down so the rest of us humble peons, in our own small way, can at least attempt to catch up on our own life's achievements.

But seriously: What's really scary about him is that the best is yet to come.

I learn something new every day: A natural hat trick is when the three goals are scored consecutively without another player scoring in between.

Check this out. Was I destined to write about hockey or what?: My birthday (January 26) is also Wayne Gretzky's birthday and it's the date of the first official hat trick in hockey. The first one happened in Toronto on January 26, 1946. Perfect.

As for the Portland Winterhawks the other night, you didn't miss anything: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. It was kinda ugly. But bright spots emerged here and there, like a nice breakaway by Buffalo Sabres draft pick Riley Boychuk. Other than that, it was pretty much toast.

He's back. Be very afraid: Marion Gaborik, hampered in recent years by injury and illness, went out and scored his own hat trick in the Rangers' game against the New York Islanders. And it didn't stop there. He added an assist, fired 8 shots on goal and logged more than 20 minutes of ice time.

The future is on the loose in Edmonton: Taylor Hall scored twice, and Jordan Eberle racked up three points with a goal and two assists.

So, since I report on such achievements, perhaps I will get off the 9 - 5 merry-go-round myself: Major dilemma though. Could I make a living off a best selling novel called "The Definitive Anti-Expert's Guide to Hockey?" Discuss.

What wine goes with viewing of scorching hot French Canadian coaches?

2010-11-30T19:45:00.000-08:00

The game: Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Tampa Bay Lightning.

Why I chose it: Because not watching while smokin' hot French Canadian coaches on a comeback tear are on live television for all to see is just wrong. How Guy Boucher walks around looking that hot and not bursting into flames truly boggles the mind.

Hooked on phonics, Portland style: I'm too tired to blog a whole rule, so I'll preview my new features for the oregonlive blog. Those would be 1) the "inappropriate things were said" to oregonlive appropriate dictionary and 2) the Hooked on Phonics guide to pronouncing the Portland Winterhawks' names. The latter was inspired by the team's recent road trips to Canada, where several of our players' last names were butchered by public address announcers.

The dictionary: Inspired by a brawling game between the Portland Winterhawks and the Kamloops Blazers in which the Blazers' goalie decided some smack talk with pretty much our entire lineup would be a good idea before he sulked off to the dressing room. It was unsuccessful, as our goalie Mac Carruth (drafted 191st by the Chicago Blackhawks in the 2010 Entry Draft) dropped theirs right to the ice. When I asked defenseman Joe Morrow (a top prospect for the 2011 draft) what was said during that altercation, he wouldn't tell me, other than "some inappropriate things were said." So here's the obvious one for starters:

The f-word: perfectly appropriate alternatives: flip, frack, frick and my personal favorite -- which I heard in the stands the other day -- fiddly. I dare one of the Winterhawks who's taller than a Christmas tree to get on up in an opponent's face and tell him to fiddly off.

Or if you want the Euro flavor, I always fall back on the Brits' best bits..."bugger off" or "go get shagged."

How do you pronounce Scooby Doo?: All the bungled pronunciations listed below actually happened. More than once.

Sven Bartschi. Correct: Bear-chee. With Sven's very proper and pretty Swiss German pronunciation, it's got just a little more roll to the r and sounds a little more like the "derci" in arrivaderci. Incorrect: Barch, Barsh or Sven's personal fave, Bartski.

Brendan Leipsic. Lipe-sick. Not Lip-sick.

Derrick Pouliot.POO-LEE-AHT. Incorrect: Poo-low. Poo-yow.

Ty Rattie. Tie Rat-tea. Not sure how you screw this one up, but apparently someone did. I'll have to check in with Andy Kemper on this one, since he's the one who reported on it. But why do I have the feeling someone pronounced his first name as Tea?

Next up: Post-game from Portland Winterhawks vs. Kootenay Ice. And onward with Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

To shack up in a hotel or get your own place? That is the question.

2010-11-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

The games: Pittsburgh vs. Calgary, Portland Winterhawks vs. Tri-City Americans (WHL).

The math: Pittsburgh 4, Calgary 1. Tri-City 3, Portland 2 (SO).

And what did you do today?: Yesterday, Sidney Crosby racked up a hat trick and his 200th career goal. In one game. I try not to think too hard about the fact that even if I got a move on today, I would never even come close to achieving what he's done. And I've been hanging out on this planet 19 years longer than he has. Sure, I've done a few pretty cool things here and there, but nothing like that.

I really must make note to keep cool and refreshing beverages handy when watching Tampa Bay Lightning games: Because Guy Buoucher gets hotter everytime I watch him. And the other night when he went off on the refs....well, let's just say I had the windows wide open.

Now, as for Portland: Not all is lost. We picked up a point for the Tri-Cities game. But note to the WHL schedulers: do not make our boys go on a two-week road trip, come home, play one home game, go on the road again and come back for another one on Sunday. Now mind, I love that my holiday weekend was bookended by hockey, but come on now, give the boys a break already. I'll find out more tonight when I chat with them, but until then you can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

It is time to emerge from the weekend hockey bubble, but before I do: Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs. 13.12, Transfers To/From Minors: The Club responsible for the move shall provide to the Player for a period of up to 28 days a reasonable single hotel room or at the Player's option, a daily payment -- applicable to NHL per diem for Player Recalled from Minors: $45 for Player Loaned to minors. If Section 13.2(d) applies, the Club shall provide the aforementioned daily payment or the applicable accommodations under Section 13.2(d) for a period of up to 56 days. ....where the Club has provided the Player with accommodation, the Club shall provide an additional five days accommodation and one-half per diem for each of the same five days after he has been advised to get a place or at the conclusion of the 28th day.

And timing is key: 13.12 (j) A player may be loaned to a club of any league affiliated with the League at any time up to 3:00 p.m. New York Time of the 40th day immediately preceding the final day of the Regular Season (the "Trade Deadline").

Morals of the story:

The game: "after he has been advised to get a place or on.." I love it. It gives a whole new meaning to "get a room."

Life: Sometimes I think the 9 - 5 grind is just prison without handcuffs. But compared to how regimented this rule is, I have a lot of freedom. Nobody tells me when or where I have to be in my private life, they don't tell me to "get a place" and I don't have to negotiate how to pay for it. The grass always looks greener until it's time to mow the lawn. Nobody's life is easy. Nobody's life is totally free. But if you're lucky and you play the hand you're dealt the right way, it can be your own version of a hat trick/200th goal scoring night.

Up next: 13.13, Waiver Notification, 13.14, Transfer Form, 13.15, Holiday Roster Freeze.

It's picnic time for hockey fans

2010-11-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

The games: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Washington Capitals, Chicago vs. Anaheim, Toronto vs. Buffalo, San Jose vs. Vancouver.

Why I chose them: Cutie pie Swiss goalies (Jonas Hiller, Anaheim), cutie pie Danish forwards (Peter Regin, Ottawa Senators), flaming hot coaches in Tampa and his evil comeback plan and two teams that one day will have Portland Winterhawks in their lineup (Buffalo, Toronto). Football fans have the Super Bowl. Hockey fans have the day after Thanksgiving. Games on.

One down, four to go: Pittsburgh 2, Ottawa 1. If it hadn't been for the buzzer, the score would be 3 - 1 on an empty netter.

Oooohhh did I say that out loud?: It has occurred to me that the New York Islanders in their current sad state of affairs do not currently deserve their #5 overall draft pick Nino Niederreiter, who was returned to the Portland Winterhawks for the season. Thank you, New York. You can wait for him and like it.

There's hockey back home, too: The Portland Winterhawks defeated the Everett Silvertips 4 - 2, courtesy of a selfless play from Oliver Gabriel to once and future Columbus Blue Jackets teammate Ryan Johansen (both have signed with the team, Ryan went 4th overall to the team in the 2010 Entry Draft). Oliver just missed the hat trick, instead racking up 2 goals and one assist for the night. They are on the road to Chilliwack and TriCities tonight and Saturday, and we will bookend the holiday weekend with a home game on Sunday.

The rule: NHLPA Colective Bargaining Agreement. Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

In case you ever wondered how and why an NHL player ends up in the minors for conditioning, here's part of it: 13.8 Conditioning Loan. Unless a player consents, he shall not be loaned on a Conditioning Loan to a minor league Club. Such conditioning loan shall not extend for more than fourteen (14) days. The Commissioner may take whatever steps he deems necessary to investigate the circumstances under which a Player is loaned on a Conditioning Loan. If the Comissioner has reason to believe or determines that the Club has used the Conditioning Loan to evade the Re-Entry Waivers, or otherwise Circumvent any provision of this Agreement, he may take such disciplinary action against the Club, as he deems appropriate. And of course: the player continues to make his NHL salary while he's on a conditioning loan.

Morals of the story:

The game: Like waivers, conditioning loans aren't necessarily a bad thing. But it's not exactly feeding the ego of NHL players to be sent down to the farm for a little retooling, now is it?

Life: Conditioning loans wouldn't exactly be easy on the ego in Corporate America, either. But I wouldn't mind getting off the treadmill every once and a while for a little conditioning that would consist of eight hours' sleep a night, going to the gym more regularly and eating from the proper food groups. In fact, I think all companies should have a conditioning loan rule like this. And every year or so, when overworked employees have had enough, you just ship 'em out to a little quasi-spa for a few power naps and nutritious meals and what not et voila...it's like hiring a brand new employee, only without the hassle.

Next up: Article 13.12, Transfers to and From Minors.

The Winterhawks Are Down, the Penguins Are Back, and Tampa's Evil Plan Is Working

2010-11-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

The games: Spokane Chiefs 3, Portland Winterhawks 1 (WHL). Pittsburgh Penguins 3, Florida Panthers 2.

This is just mean: We are awaiting the first major winter storm front here in Oregon any day now, which promises to snarl commuter and air traffic this week. And what do I see on my television when I turn on Center Ice? A shot of the harbor in Florida, with people out on sailing trips, fishing and tanning and what not. May I suggest that the Florida Panthers come to some sort of cable arrangement where there's a blackout of such footage in markets where the climate is hovering around the freezing mark? Because that's just not fair.

Meanwhile in other toasty warm parts of Florida where people are still wearing golf shorts and sunscreen: Guy Boucher's evil plan is taking shape. The Bolts are sitting in second place in the Southeast Division with 24 points. Their opponent tonight, the Boston Bruins, are also in second place in the Northeast Division with 24 points. The Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Bruins 3 to 1. Not sure what that means, except that the evil comeback plan is working.

The very best reason to get excited about the holidays: At long last, I can take out my Toronto Maple Leafs Christmas stocking, which I bought in honor of Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross being drafted by the Leafs. Note to self: go onto NHL.com and purchase some other holiday decor to honor the other 9 draftees on the Winterhawks' roster.

Now, what to say about Portland's Sunday game against the Spokane Chiefs: Can't say a whole lot, since I was ill and therefore covering it from my couch with a little help from Winterhawks' broadcaster Andy Kemper. But I will say this: a two-week road trip, one very brawling Saturday night game and a few players who were under the weather themselves equals Spokane outplaying us. And that they did. Onward and get well soon to the players who were not feeling their best.

If you are a Pittsburgh Penguin and your name ends in y, you are therefore on fire: Sidney Crosby is racking up pretty much every point, goal, assist, face off percentage and whatever else with each passing game, and Marc-Andre Fleury's slump is pretty much a vapor trail at this point.

The rule: Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

13.4, Exempt Players: As readers of my oregonlive blog know, I leave the numbers to trained professionals like Andy Kemper (After the Whistle), the Vroomans and my fellow oregonlive blogger Dylan Bumbarger. Here's a snippet of why: For purposes of Regular Waivers and Re-Entry Waivers, the five (5) year exemption for an 18-year-old skater and the four (4) year exemption for a 19 year old skater shall be reduced to three (3) commencing the first season that the 18 or 19 year old skater plays in eleven (11) games or more. The next two (2) seasons, regardless of whether the skater plays any NHL Games in either season, shall count as the second and third years toward satisfying the exemption.

Morals of the story:

The game: That's it. I give up. I'm going back to the humble days when I didn't know what a hat trick was and I could have cared less why the face-off happens where it does.

Life: In the current economy, wouldn't it be awesome if we had exemptions from being laid off and fired and downsized, etc.? If you have worked at a company for longer than 5 years, have been promoted and complimented regularly and have never abused the company's generous vacation or expense report policy, you are exempt from being fired for at least one year while you rethink and realize you didn't want that job anyway and use it to instead write the best selling novel and escape with your ass one day after the exemption runs out. Brilliant.

Next up: Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs. 13.6, Injured Player Loan to Minor Leagues. 13.8, Conditioning Loan.

Line Brawls and High Scoring Games and El Nino, Oh My!

2010-11-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Kamloops Blazers (WHL).

The numbers:

Portland 6, Kamloops 4.

Number of line brawls, instigated by Kamloops goalie Jeff Bosch: 1.

Number of players ejected from said brawl: 5. Plus Tyler Wotherspoon earlier in the game for a different scrap.

Penalty minutes: Kamloops 101. Portland 65.

Goaltenders ejected: Both starting goalies were ejected, seeing as how Mac Carruth (drafted 191st by Chicago in the 2010 Entry Draft) wasn't taking any of Bosch's crap. Both left with leaving the crease, a major for fighting and a game misconduct, which I believe is automatic in such cases.

Number of fights the last time we played Kamloops: Zero.

But that didn't prevent El Nino from blowing past everyone and everything: The New York Islanders first round pick (5th overall) proceeded to score two goals in the midst of the boxing match that was last night's game, earning him the first star of the night.

Read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

I couldn't find the WHL rulebook anywhere, but let's refresh on what the NHL book says about kerfuffles like this: 47.12, Instigator in the Final Five Minutes of Regulation Time (or Anytime in Overtime). A player who is deemed to be the instigator of an altercation in the final five (5) minutes of regulation time or any time in overtime shall be assessed an instigator minor penalty, a major penalty for fighting, and a game misconduct penalty, subject to the conditions outlined in 47.22.

The morals of last night's story: 1) When in doubt, leave the line brawling to the goaltenders. 2) The Portland Winterhawks should go on long road trips more often (this was their first home game after the 2-week East Swing). 3) The real El Nino is outside (it's snowing here in Portland with more on the way), the nicknamed one is inside (Nino Niederreiter) and we host the Spokane Chiefs. I expect some serious play from the Hawks that are left standing. Game on.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Hockey Things

2010-11-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

The games: Portland Winterhawks vs. Kamloops Blazers (WHL, Saturday, 7 pm). Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Carolina Hurricanes (Pittsburgh 5, Carolina 4, in a shootout).

We don't need the Islanders to come to Portland, we can just start our own NHL team (see comments from previous entry): With 9 NHL draftees on the active roster, 3 others who were invited and/or signed by the League, and four already on the rankings for the 2011 draft, I think we can just start our own NHL team. No need for our prized possessions like Ryan Johansen and Nino Niederreiter and Sven Bartschi and Ty Rattie to scatter to parts unknown. If the Phoenix Coyotes can stay afloat, we can start a new team.

Major dilemma: HBO is debuting a preview of the 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic tonight whilst I'm at a Winterhawks game. Note to self: Add DVR to the cable package.

And if you're a regular viewer of the NBC (nothing but Crosby) network, Pittsburgh Magazine has a really cool feature on him.

I'm burned on blogging and CBA's and what not, so today's entry will consist of a shout out to some of my favorite links and resources. True I'm a little biased on a few as you'll see, but these are all worth checking out all the same:

Junior hockey:

Buzzing the Net on Yahoo Sports. Neate Sager has been kind enough to link to my oregonlive posts and even gave a shout out to me by name once. So, biased on my part, absolutely. But he also runs one of the best junior hockey blogs out there. They recently added a live Chatravaganza to the mix. Put it on the list if you want to keep up with what's doing in the junior leagues.

Taking Note with Gregg Drinnan. I find the run-on sentence style a little annoying, but Drinnan's your man if you want the latest and greatest.

NHL and all things hockey:

Kukla's Korner. This is totally biased and a completely shameless plug. I was very honored to be chosen over the summer as part of Paul's new community of bloggers. 87in107 will have a new home there, complete with a new title. But I would recommend this blog any day and twice on Sunday. The variety of perspectives you'll find here are also really good for pseudo beginners like me who are still trying to memorize the face-off rule.

Lighthouse Hockey. An excellent source for New York Islanders news and a good place for Portland fans to keep track of Nino's whereabouts when he goes to the NHL for good. And yes, they've mentioned me once or twice.

And just to be fair, here's a few that have never heard of me:

The Prospect Park. It's all Rangers and Islanders prospects, all the time. And they've spoken highly of the Winterhawks in the past, including Luke Walker (now with the Colorado Avalanche's AHL team) and Ryan Johansen.

Penguin Poop. As a Penguins fan who must live vicariously through the folks who get the privilege of watching the Pens live and meeting them in person in their community...I consider this blog a must. Ditto for The Confluence (you'll find it on Kukla's Korner) and Empty Netters. The latter irked me recently because he falsely led readers to believe the blog was in jeopardy, only to admit later it never was. But, it's still one of the best sources for Pens news and what not.

And with that, I'm off to the Portland Winterhawks' first home game in two weeks. The weather outside is a bit frightful, but it's always warm and toasty when your team is back home and on a winning streak. You can read all about it tomorrow on oregonlive.com/hawks.

I Will Never Waive My Right to Love Hockey

2010-11-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

The game: Chicago vs. Edmonton.

Why I chose it: It's the Stanley Cup champions facing off against the #1 Draft Pick and company on the Oiler's home ice. Also, I'm a one-woman, 24/7 pro-Jordan Eberle promotion machine. I love that when asked to describe himself, he said neat. He hates being late. He knows how to do his own laundry and cook. He gets up early to call his girlfriend. He likes to eat ice cream before games. Where was he when I was 20? And what's wrong with eating ice cream before a game? Dairy is a food group and it's sugar for energy later. Perfectly acceptable pre-game snack.

Which is why this is so painful: It's Chicago 4, Edmonton 0 at the end of the second.

Meanwhile, across the NHL: Guy Boucher and his evil comeback plan for Tampa roll into Nassau Coliseum to face off against the Islanders and their new coach. Vancouver and Pittsburgh get down to it at Consol Energy Center. And the Columbus Blue Jackets face the LA Kings. Games on.

I still don't understand this, but it's not for me to understand, it's for me to like: Anze Kopitar is even hotter now that he's sporting the start of a scar on his upper lip. So not fair. If I had a nasty gash like that running across my face, I'd have to move to a closet and only come out under cover of darkness.

The El Nino effect: Not long after the the New York Islanders returned Nino Niederreiter to the Portland Winterhawks, they went on a 10-game losing streak, and we racked up a 10-game winning streak. Coincidence or proof the Islanders need to re-think a few things before they take Portland's prized possession from us for good? Discuss.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

13.1: A Club shall not dispose of the services of any Player in which it has a proprietary interest by Loan to a club of another league without first having complied with the provisions of this Article. The Waivers that are recognized by this Agreement are Regular Waivers, Re-Entry Waivers and Unconditional Waivers. As defined in the glossary at the beginning of the CBA, waivers means the process by which the rights to a Player are offered to all other Clubs, pursuant to the procedure set forth in Article 13 of this Agreement and shall include Regular, Re-Entry and Unconditional Waivers.

Morals of the story:

The game: I've always wondered what waivers were and how they work. I didn't understand that waivers are what teams do when they don't need or want you anymore, but they must give you a chance to be claimed by other teams before they release you. Clearing waivers means nobody wanted the player and he can remain with his team or choose to go to free agent status and shop himself around. No matter what this rule says or how it protects players, being put on waivers blows. Sorry, but there's just no other way to put it. On the other hand, many a great player was claimed off waivers and went on to thrive with their next team. Erik Christensen, for example, after being bumped around from the Penguins to the Thrashers to the Ducks, is seeing his stock rise ever higher with the New York Rangers. Go figure.

On the other hand, we heard from broadcaster Andy Kemper last night that Portland Winterhawks' goalie Ian Curtis, who cleared waivers recently, has chosen to take a break from hockey to prepare for college. I'm glad he found a future and he's taking advantage of the WHL scholarship money. He's very smart and was interested in forestry management and ecotourism. It's perfect. I can totally see him giving guided wilderness tours all over his home province of BC. And going for that rock star option on the side to make a little cash wouldn't hurt either. Very best wishes to him all around.

Life: In my last months in New York, you might say that fate put me on waivers. I got fired twice in one year, hence didn't save enough money to buy a new couch, and lived in an apartment with a view of a brick wall, an oven with a broken pilot light and heat that worked when the landlord decided he wanted to pay for it. So I cleared waivers and went to free agent status. I do miss New York at the holidays, but I wouldn't go back now. I wouldn't go back to crowded trains and long days and no heat on a blustery night like tonight. I wouldn't go back to hauling laundry up three flights of stairs in a little shopping cart, or never making enough money to get ahead. But I wouldn't take back what I did either. Like a winning season that falls short before you win the Cup, it was still worth playing. It's just like waivers....it was just time for something else to claim me. And so it did. And here I am. Right where I belonged all along.

Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs. 13.2, Playing Season Waiver Period. 13.3, Re-Entry Waivers. 13.4, Exempt Players.

One Streak Ends, Another Begins

2010-11-16T23:06:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks 4, Brandon Wheat Kings 2. They had their winning streak temporarily snapped on Friday night in Saskatoon, but the Hawks are back.

On the other hand: Sven Bartschi had his point scoring streak snapped with the Brandon Wheat Kings game. But he still leads all rookies in goals, assists and points, and until tonight, his 16-game point streak was the longest by a Portland Winterhawks player since the 1997-1998 season. Which, by the way, was the year we won the Memorial Cup. Coincidence? I think not.

But you really want to meet Portland's secret weapon?: Meet Ty Rattie. Unlike the Moose Jaw Warrior's color commentator, who hadn't really heard of Ty and Sven, you can simply go to whl.ca or nhl.com and get the download on him. He was also on a streak that was snapped a few nights ago, but then he promptly proceeded to come back with four points (2 goals, 2 assists) in a 6-3 win over the Moose Jaw Warriors.

Why am I telling you all this?: Well, one the Portland Winterhawks just completed their annual East Swing road trip with 5 wins and only one loss. They are still #1 in the U.S. Division of the Western Hockey League. Oh, and because Sven and Ty are sitting pretty on top of the preliminary rankings for the 2011 NHL Entry Draft. Among all WHL players, Sven is ranked second and Ty is third. Joining them are teammates Joe Morrow (5th) and Tyler Wotherspoon (9th).

Continuing the tradition: The Portland Winterhawks currently have 9 draftees from the 2010 Entry Draft on our active roster, and three who were invited to training camps over the summer (one of whom was signed by the Columbus Blue Jackets). I think it's safe to say that we will hear "[insert team here] is proud to select from the WHL's Portland Winterhawks" more than once in the 2011 draft.

And finally, you can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

And They Win Some Again...The Portland Winterhawks, That Is

2010-11-14T14:42:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks 8, Prince Albert Raiders 2.

In an odd coincidence: New York Rangers 8, Edmonton Oilers 2. Hat trick for Marian Gaborik, after going scoreless so far this season. Not a good week for the rookies, however: Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall were benched earlier in the week for a poor showing in Carolina. No, I'm not changing my vote for Eberle and the Calder. I'm all in. Period. No exceptions. But that game was some serious ugly.

Meanwhile, back on the Winterhawks' road trip front: The boys roared back late in the first period and kept coming. The only question is who from the Portland Winterhawks didn't score? Maybe the goalie. That's about it. The name to watch: Sven Bartschi. Mark the calendar for the 2011 NHL draft day, my little experts. He's coming your way. I'd wax rhapsodic, but Winterhawks broadcaster Andy Kemper beat me to it. And he said it way better than I could have, so here you go: http://afterthewhistle.wordpress.com/.

In other big scoring difference news: Former Portland Winterhawk Stefan Schneider's new team the Manitoba Moose (AHL) beat the Rochester Americans last night 6 - 2.

And speaking of whatever-HL watch: Former Portland Winterhawk and Springfield Falcons rookie Chris Francis has been loaned to the Fort Wayne Komets in order to get him more playing time. He'll be back. Just you wait.

Alas, if only Gene Simmons hadn't cursed our game in Saskatoon: Our winning streak would be up to 12. Not to worry, plenty of time to start a new one.

And oh, by the way: Pittsburgh continues the mini comeback with a hat trick from Malkin and some stellar goaltending from Marc-Andre Fleury, and a 4-2 win over Atlanta.

Salary Arbitration, Part 12.10, Walk Away Rights for Player-Elected Salary Arbitration.

12.10, a: If a Club has elected to a one-year SPC, and the award issued is for $1,042,173 per annum, then the Club may, within forty-eight hours after the award of the Salary Arbitrator is issued, notify the Player or his Certified Agent, if any, the NHLPA and the NHL in writing, in accordance with Exhibit 3 thereof, that it does not intend to tender to the Player an SPC based on the award as determined by the Salary Arbitrator. Upon receipt of that notice, the Player shall automatically be deemed to be an Unrestricted Free Agent.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, where, exactly, did they come up with the salary per annum amount? Why not just round up to $1,050,000? Or down to $1,000,000? Oh right, because in the NHL one million or less is pocket change. What was I thinking?

Life: It's Sunday night and I find myself suddenly uninspired. Instead, tonight I will follow the fine example of properly media trained hockey players everywhere; I'll keep it simple. If I made that kind of money, I would never go to arbitration. I'd say thank you for finally paying me what I'm worth, take the money and run to the nearest bank. The end. For tonight.

Up next: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 13,Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

They Win Some, They Lose Some

2010-11-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

The games: Portland Winterhawks vs. Saskatoon Blades (WHL). Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Pittsburgh Penguins.

The final scores: Saskatoon 4, Portland 3. Pittsburgh 5, Tampa Bay 1.

So we won't be getting fitted for a glass slipper just yet: You can read all about the Portland Winterahawks game here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. It involves the end of our winning streak, Gene Simmons, Riley Boychuk's rising star continuing to shine, and future NHL draftee Ty Rattie getting back on the scoring train. Bonus question for Portland fans: has Sven Bartschi gone even so much as one game without scoring or assisting? I think not, but feel free to correct me.

Meanwhile back in Pittsburgh, somebody planted a new flower in the garden: In his return from temporary exile, Marc-Andre Fleury racked up his 150th career win, stopped 15 of 16 shots and earned the first star of the night. Also racking up some impressive stats: Sidney Crosby's goal and assist put him three points behind Steven Stamkos' league-leading total. But the action didn't really get started until the second period, when the Pens scored two goals within 27 seconds of one another (thank you, Pascal Dupuis and Alex Goligoski). Back in Stanley Cup form, Max Talbot went top shelf with a nice one in the third. But really, it was all about the flower last night. Welcome back.

Speaking of Crosby: Did you ever notice that the people who rip him for being a whiner are by their actions, whining themselves? Discuss.

And this is why I am now addicted to everything Guy Boucher says and does: When talking about his team last night to NHL.com, he applauded them for giving everything they've got and that's all he can ask for.

Mini bummer alert/the NHL needs to invent better mitts: Honkin' tall French Captain is down with a broken hand. It's the Jordan Staal syndrome. No sooner does Lecavalier get back on track from injuries and a low-scoring season than he goes down again. Therefore, I will think nothing but good thoughts for a speedy recovery and comeback.

Oh right, the rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

12.9, Rules of Procedure, (g) Evidence: This is all about the kinds of evidence that the artibrator can request, including: overall performance and statistics of the player in the previous season; number of games played and injury or illnesses; length of service to the Club; overall contribution to the competitive sucess or failure of the Club in the preceding season; any special qualities of leadership or public appeal not inconsistent with the fulfillment of his reponsibilities as a playing member of his team.

But this is the best part: In the absence of a written agreement, the parties shall, in good faith, take all necessary steps in advance of the start of the hearing to jointly confirm and memorialize the occurrence of any events described in paragraphs (A), (B), and (C) above. The steps shall include, but are not limited to, a conference call by and between representatives of the parties no later than three (3) hours before the hearing begins.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, in other words, if you are a lazy whiner who didn't contribute to points, assists, didn't display good leadership or all around sportsmanship or who isn't well liked by the public, forget it. Why are you even complaining? Also, in good faith they will memorialize the preceding events? Good luck with that .

Life: Corporate America needs salary arbitration. Think of all the senior vice presidents with fancy degrees who would be weeded out when evidence is presented that clearly proves they faked it until they made it to the top. Or all the hard working middle managers who suddenly climb the ladder because the company figures out that they are, in fact, the ones running the show. It boggles the mind.

Up next: Article 12.10, Walk-Away Rights for Player-Elected Salary Arbitration.

Winning Streaks and Barbecues and Comebacks, Oh My!

2010-11-10T21:32:00.000-08:00

Going streaking: The Portland Winterhawks extend their winning streak to 10 games behind game tying and a game winning OT goal from Brad Ross. They also scored the first and second goals of the 5-4 game against the Regina Pats.

It's easy to see how they bred Jordan Eberle and Carter Ashton: The Regina Pats must eat a completely different brand of Wheaties than everyone else. Because I must admit, they do kick ass.

You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. And have a giggle at my expense: last night as of 10 pm or so, the OT goal on whl.ca was credited to Ryan Johansen. Nice...ah well, I knew it would happen sooner or later.

Maybe the Pens can borrow Guy Boucher and his sports psychology master's degree for a few games: Boston Bruins 7, Pittsburgh Penguins 4. Five of Boston's goals were scored in the third period. If I hadn't been listening to the Hawks extend their winning streak to 10 games, I would have had to turn the NHL game off. Because it truly was physically painful. I love the Pens and I will never officially give up on them. Ever. But dudes, could you pace yourselves on the losing games? I'm already trying to keep the gray hair and wrinkles and other signs of aging at bay.

Now, normally I'd be like what the heck?: But since they are the future home of Portland Winterhawk and Number 4 overall draft pick Ryan Johansen, kudos to Columbus for barbecuing St. Louis 8 - 1. On the the other hand, the Blues are the future home of Winterhawk Captain Brett Ponich, so if this happens in future, it will be a major dilemma pour moi.

NHL Draftee to watch: Riley Boychuk, drafted 208th in the 2010 Entry Draft after missing last year's draft due to injury and subsequent surgery. He's on the upswing with a capital U, he scored the game tying goal against Regina tonight and I do believe he meets the Buffalo Sabres' minimum height requirement (which is what, like, 8 feet tall in skates?). Ok, he's really 6'5", and also...when he's not scoring, nobody gets in your face like Riley. I don't know why opponents even bother. He could eat you for breakfast. Don't even try it.

Morals of the story:

A year ago, the Portland Winterhawks were just another losing team on the comeback trail. This year, we are #1 in the WHL, #1 in our Division, #2 in the CHL and the winning streak continues as the boys hit the road tonight for Saskatoon. Nino is back. Ryan is back. Fans are starting to come back. It's a good time to be a hockey fan in Portland. Meanwhile the team that may one day employ prospect and Winterhawk Taylor Peters is out there somewhere, not sleeping, not happy and not winning. Evgeni Malkin alone is his own hard act to follow. Throw a flu bug and Jordan Staal's injury in there, and there goes the comeback neighborhood. But here's the deal, and I know 'cause I've done it myself: 1) The one advantage of losing is there's nowhere to go but up. 2) Losing in the NHL isn't totally losing. Of the 210 players drafted each year, only a portion are fortunate enough to go on to major league careers. 3) The only way to learn how to rally is to live through it and to do it.

So here's my evil plan for a Pittsburgh Penguins comeback. And I didn't even have to earn a master's degree in sports psychology and get a bad ass scar on my face: pond hockey. Forget about rankings and cliches and off-day press scrums. I say freeze over Mario Lemieux's pool, slap on some mismatched gear and get out there. If possible, get your moms to come over and drag you out of bed and drive you there. Anything that reminds you of why you did this in the first place and why you love it. What do you have to lose? Oh right. Nothing.

Next up: Checking to see if my evil plan worked and the next section of Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

Heads or Tails?

2010-11-09T20:30:00.001-08:00

The games: Tampa vs. Toronto, Anaheim vs. San Jose, Portland Winterhawks vs. Swift Current Broncos (WHL).

The scores: Tampa 4, Toronto 0. Three of those goals were scored in the first period, two of which were scored within 29 seconds of one another. So the evil Boucher "don't mess with me I have a bad ass mystery scar AND a master's degree in messing with players' heads" plan is working. I like it. Carry on.

Anaheim 2, San Jose 1 end of second period.

Portland 4, Swift Current 2.

On the other hand: In another couple of years, I must be pro Toronto all the time, because Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross will be playing for them. I've even purchased a Toronto Maple Leafs Christmas stocking in preparation.

Repeat performance: On Saturday night, Ryan Johansen topped off the Winterhawks' scoring with an empty netter that helped us beat the Everett Silvertips 4 - 2. He scored two goals tonight, and the second was an exact duplicate of the Everett game: an empty netter that resulted in the same final score.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 12, Section 12.7, Scheduling.

If you thought the NHL was a highly organized, professional, impeccably marketed, global sports marketing and sales empire that runs like clockwork with the help of Stanley Cup champions, Harvard-educated lawyers and Wharton MBAs: Forget that. 12.7 (c) After the NHL and NHLPA have compiled the Player List, salary arbitrations shall be scheduled as follows:

(i) The NHL and NHLPA shall flip a coin to determine which party shall begin the process set forth in subsection (ii) below.

(ii) The party winning the coin flip set forth in subsection (i) above shall select a Player from the Player List and shall assign such Player to a particular Salary Arbitrator on one of such Salary Arbitrator's available dates, as indicated in the Salary Arbitration Calendar.

Morals of the story:

The game: No, that's not a typo. Salary arbitration is one of the most contentious, costly and time-consuming activities in this agreement and the scheduling and selection of the top notch grade A individual who is going to decide your financial worth and fate is at the mercy of a coin toss. If I'd known working for the NHL didn't require a degree in sports marketing, I would have applied for my dream job years ago.

Life: What if your fate in life was decided by a coin toss, and you had no control over it whatsover? Would you be relieved because you weren't responsible for the outcome? Glad that someone else decided for you, instead of making your own stupid choices? Disappointed because it wasn't what you wanted, dreamed, or hoped? There is a part of me that wishes I didn't have to choose between one fate and another in life, or that I had the kind of talent where only one fate awaited me in life. But alas, I was left to my own devices. Some of that was good, some of it was utterly forgettable, a lot of it was memorable and some of it was just plain stupid. But in the end, if I'd taken any other road, I wouldn't be here. And for right now, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 12, Salary Arbitration. 12.9, Rules of Procedure.

Because the 4th Overall Pick Is, After All, the Coolest Teenager in the World.

2010-11-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks 3, Red Deer 2. Portland Winterhawks 4, Everett Silvertips 2. Squeakers all around, thanks to NHL Draftees Taylor Aronson (OT goal in the Red Deer game) and Brad Ross/Ryan Johansen/Nino Niederreiter (Brad got the game winner against Everett, Nino and Ryan helped and then Ryan topped it off with an empty netter).

As for that headline: The Everett game was stopped about 2 minutes in when two Silvertips players collided with each other on open ice. Medical personnel were called to the scene once it was clear he wasn't getting up or moving a whole lot. To ensure that one of them didn't fall while walking across the ice, Ryan skated over and took his arm to escort him out to the scene. If you've seen the post over on oregonlive, forgive me for duplicating with the audience here: behind the great playmaking is a great player. Get ready Columbus, it won't be long before you see what I'm talking about.

Road trip: Here in Portland, darkness is coming early due to the end of daylight savings time, coupled with rain and two weeks without any home games. While life on the home front is admittedly dreary, somewhere out there rolling down I-5, is a gaggle of young hockey players heading to Canada for a 3000+ mile road trip and all the adventure that comes with it. The Winterhawks sparkle on the road, and they head out on an eight-game winning streak. The recent return of Nino Niederreiter just puts the cherry on top of the whole thing. Times like these only come once, and one would hope that in ten years when they are still plenty young and off in the NHL or wherever fate leads them that they remember well what Portland taught them. I have had the pleasure of meeting most of them, and I know that they will.

That took long enough: Pittsburgh beat Phoenix last night in a shootout. Doing the game winning goal honors was Mark Letestu. A small glimmer of hope in a not terribly hopeful road trip. Here's my theory: one of the great things about the Penguins is that they play, lose and fight as a team. Sidney Crosby's generosity on and off the ice is well documented and rarely disputed. But the side effect of playing like one person is that when one or two players are sidelined, it's like all of them are. With Jordan Staal's injury, the team was dealt another blow just before leaving for a road trip. They had no time to absorb it or deal with it. Just get on the plane and good luck. That's no excuse for the middling play that marred their recent games, but it was cause for reflection on tonight's morals of the story.

But first, the rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

12.3, Eligibility for Club-Elected Salary Arbitration: If a player has a Paragraph 1 NHL Salaries plus Signing, Roster and Reporting Bonuses Greater than $1,500,000 in the Prior League Year, the Club may elect salary arbitration for said salaries, etc in lieu of making an offer for the upcoming League Year. And if it goes to arbitration, the arbitrator may not award less than 85% of the Player's salaries, bonuses, etc, in the final League Year of his most recent SPC.

Morals of the story:

The game: When you make between eight and oh, say, $10 million a year, is 85 percent really so bad?

Life: This rule is all about what a player is worth to his employer. Ryan Johansen and his teammate Nino Niederreiter are worth just under one million dollars to their respective NHL teams. But back here, we don't place a dollar value on them and when they have moved on to their well-deserved professional careers, no amount of money could compensate for their loss. Jordan Staal's value to the Pens goes beyond his salary: it's key to the heart of the team.

Which brings me to this: why is it that we determine our worth in life by material worth? Generations before us survived the great depression, but we flip out if we can't own the latest iPhone-like gadget or a bank won't float a loan anymore for that McMansion we can't really afford. Material worth is important when it comes to salary, since that is how an employer demonstrates your value to them and how we pay the rent. But it's what they do with it that causes some people to lose the plot. Nobody needs expensive cell phones, a pimped up ride with all the bells and whistles or radiant heat on their floors to show others how important they are.

Therefore: I propose that Club Elected salary arbitration be allowed in every Fortune 500 company in America, so all those VPs who got to the corner office on a wing and a prayer can be put in their places every now and again. Only in my book, I wouldn't be as generous as 85 percent. I'd go for, oh...I don't know....say...fifteen percent, tops. Any sum that would require said individuals to sell the Jag, the McMansion and rent a small house within their actual budgetary means will do. If it works for the NHL, then it should work for everyone else.

Up next: Finding something to do with the next two weeks of my life while the Hawks hit the road. And 12.7, Scheduling.

When In Doubt, Follow the Lead of the 4th Overall Pick in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft.

2010-11-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

The game: LA vs. Tampa Bay.

Why I chose it: This time, it's honkin' tall French Captain and Slovenian alternate Captain staring each other down the barrel of a hockey gun. Plus, Guy Boucher looks like he's going to eat a Ref for dinner, if Steve Downie doesn't beat him to it.

I'm following Ryan Johansen's lead: When his mom told me where he got his ambition and drive for success, she told me simply that growing up he was "always, always, always" about hockey.

I'm following his fine example this weekend as I indulge in the last of a 6-game homestand before the Hawks hit the road: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. On tap this weekend is a game between the Portland Winterhawks (#1 in the U.S. Division) and the Red Deer Rebels (owned by Brent Sutter, #2 in the Central Division). Followed on Saturday by a matchup with the Everett Silvertips. Stay tuned.

When I'm not doing that, we'll get back to topic with: Article 12, Salary Arbitration. 12.3, Eligibility for Club-Elected Salary Arbitration.

Go Ahead, Whine About Your Multimillion Dollar Salary..the NHL Dares You.

2010-11-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

The games: Anaheim vs. Tampa Bay. Dallas vs. Pittsburgh.

Why I chose them: It's Honkin' Tall French Captain and cutie pie Swiss goalie staring each other down the barrel of a hockey gun. Why not watch it?

An evil comeback plan has been hatched in Tampa: And I like it. And did you notice that the combination of holding a master's degree in sports pychology and having an unexplained scar on his face just makes Guy Boucher more of an evil genius that other NHL teams should fear? Discuss.

Ok, that's it, the Pens are officially annoying me: I know Staal's down and all, but really, get it together dudes. I just grew a new gray hair. Scratch that, I'm pretty sure I'm up to three. Stop, already. On the other hand: No sooner did Dallas Captain and former Portland Winterhawks Brenden Morrow drop the mitts than Sidney Crosby followed suit. And Crosby does not screw around when he goes at it. He just starts and doesn't stop until the other guy goes down. They may be losing the game, but damn sure he's not gonna lose the fight.

It's going to be a long, quiet flight to the next gig: With 14 minutes to go, it's Dallas 5, Pittsburgh 1.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

12.1 (a) A player is eligible for salary arbitration if the Player meets the qualifications set forth in the following chart and in Section 12.1 below: Players who are 18 - 20 must have 4 years of professional experience. Players who are 21 years of age must have 3 years of professional experience. Players ages 22 - 23 must have 2 years of professional experience. Players 24 and older must have one year of professional experience. "Professional experience" qualifies as 10
games or more in a given season.

Morals of the story:

The game: So why is it then, that the players who need more experience to qualify for salary arbitration are the ones least likely to get it and the ones who need less will have easily qualified? Oh. Wait a minute. Ok. I get it. In other aspects of life, I believe we call it seniority.

Life: I grew up in old fashioned household, where elders were respected and if you were young and stepped out of line, somebody was there to remind you that you didn't know diddly and that my grandparents walked 7 miles uphill in the snow with the dog just to get to the little two-room schoolhouse with no heat and a teacher who rapped your knuckles with a ruler if you misbehaved, so I could just suck whatever it was I was whining about right up. That's kind of what this rule is. The younger and sassier you are, the less chance you have to complain that the $50 million deal plus bonuses and quality time on ice just isn't quite cutting it. Works for me.

Next up: Article 12, Salary Arbitration. 12.3, Eligibility for Club-Elected Salary Arbitration.

Back to NHL Topic 11.15

2010-11-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

The game: New Jersey vs. Vancouver.

Why I chose it: It's Olympians Brodeur and Luongo at opposite ends of the rink. What other reason do you need?

In my case the other reason is Zach Parise: But mini bummer alert...he's down with a knee injury.

Alas it's not the luckiest of weeks for NHL superstars, therefore: I'm giving the Pens a break. Jordan Staal, mere days before his anticipated return from a gruesome foot infection, is now out with a broken hand. Talk about a bad break...quite literally and otherwise. On the other hand the team has several league leaders in hits, points and goals-against-average, and is known for stepping up when one of their own goes down. All the more reason to wish them well and mark the calendar for Staal's triumphant return later this season.

And I'm not the only fan of Portland Winterhawk Ian Curtis: oregonlive.com has been kind enough to welcome me into the community blog space that I now share with Dylan Bumbarger. Dylan's posted a really cool piece about Ian's contribution to the Winterhawks while he played out here: http://tinyurl.com/26e7kpr.

The New Year's Eve game to which Dylan refers is my favorite local sports moment ever. And it's definitely in my top three sports moments of all time. Period. No exceptions. We will be watching and waiting to see where Ian lands. If it doesn't involve an organization whose name ends in HL, maybe it's all just a sign...like say, he should go be a rock star (see previous entry).

Ok, I guess I'll try to understand the CBA, seeing as how I don't have anything else to do tonight: 11.15, Default. If a Club defaults in the payment of any compensation to the Player provided for in his SPC or fails to perform any other obligation under his SPC, the Player may, by notice in writing to the Club and to the League and the NHLPA, specify the nature of any and all defaults and thereafter: I didn't quite get all the "thereafters" but as far as I can tell, if the Club and the League can't figure out how to pay you because they agreed to pay you some huge amount of money like...say...$100 million over several decades...and it didn't quite go according to plan because they couldn't put butts in seats and make back the money...you're screwed.

Morals of the story:

The game: Just because they're supposed to pay you more money than God on paper, doesn't mean they will. Get an entourage my little rookies, and include in it an accountant, a lawyer and another lawyer in case the first one turns out to be an asshole. You'll thank me later.

Life: This rule is proof that even huge, organized, professional sports in America can get in over their heads financially and default on basic things like player salaries. But this is America, after all, where we can just vote to have Congress bail us out of our next big mistake that we won't have to worry about because it will be paid off by several future generations to come. Forget the default rule. In life, we need the almost default rule, in which our bank machine goes off like a car alarm if we even attempt to go up and withdraw a cash amount that leaves us with just enough to get to the next paycheck. And if we try to use a credit card because we don't have enough to cover it with cash, a huge crane should just fall out of the sky no matter where we are and snatch it right out of our hands.

Next up: Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

Just Sell Me My WHL Playoff Tickets Now

2010-10-31T11:38:00.001-07:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks 6, Kelowna Rockets 1 = Toast. With extra crunchy peanut butter.

What better way to celebrate Halloween: Than to lay siege to the visiting team, and to watch while junior-player-to-watch in the next NHL draft Ty Rattie continues his flaming hot point-scoring streak. You can read all about it on my posts over at www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Oooohhh, as a loyal Pittsburgh Penguins fan, did I say that out loud?: Until they shutout Carolina the other night, the Pens were starting to irritate me. And I'm a loyal fan. I don't usually get irritated with them or their players, coaches, whatever. But they'd get on a roll and win a few really nice ones, and then down it would all come with a St. Louis overtime loss. Win or don't dudes. I don't need to grow any more gray hair waiting for you to play a consistent game.

Draft watch: Two of last night's goals were scored entirely by NHL Draftees (details can be found on oregonlive). Among them, Nino Niederreiter...just in case you were wondering how long it would take for him to get back in the groove. And he notched an assist last night. So I think we can forget about that whole "he will need time to adjust back to junior hockey" thing.

A sign that the times have definitely changed for the Winterhawks: When I was chatting with some of their parents last night, one of them just told me "we'll see you next time, or definitely at the playoffs." Just like that...at the playoffs, like it's a done deal already. I have no doubt it is. But only a year ago, it was if, not when. With Nino's return, we have sealed the deal. But we also lost something of value this week, and I felt compelled to take up equally valuable blog space to ensure that it was not lost in the Nino shuffle.

Gone but very much remembered: On a more somber note this week, the Winterhawks also parted with overage goaltender Ian Curtis, who had only been with the team for one season after a fairly tumultuous junior career. It was not so different last year, but then it was Ian who was chosen to replace beloved long-time Winterhawk goaltender Kurtis Mucha, who was traded to Kamloops. I never had the pleasure of meeting Ian personally, but I loved his story because it reminded me of my own, and because at least for a season here in Portland, it had a happy ending. He was the first goalie drafted in the 2005 Bantam Draft, going number 23, only four spots after Tyler Myers. Chosen a bit later in that same draft were Kyle Beach and Jordan Eberle.

We all know how their fates turned out, but Ian's went down a different and more unexpected road. Traded away from Swift Current to Prince George before he really got a chance to shine, he then ran into injury and what are said to be personal issues with that team. Eventually he was sent to the BCHL, a move thought by many to be the end of his hockey career. For a short time, he went back home to Abbotsford, BC and was handing out resumes at local businesses. Enter Mike Johnston and the Portland Winterhawks, who found Ian when he played on a summer league with Johnston's son. In the short time he was here, he earned CHL goaltender of the week honors twice, shut out Seattle in our annual New Year's Eve game, and helped us end a too-long losing streak against Vancouver. Ian when he shines is a truly talented goalie. But fate and injury and circumstances beyond his control may have kept his star from ever shining as brightly as it should have.

If you are his parents or family and you found this blog, thanks and do leave a comment with his hockey whereabouts. I will be sure to add him to my ever-growing Excel spreadsheet of former Winterhawks to keep an eye on. And if something else is in his future plans, very best wishes to him wherever he lands. I hear he used to sing a Kings of Leon song to Gasper Kopitar in the car on the way to the rink, so my personal vote is for rock star. I shall keep an eye out either way.

Morals of the story:

Life: Like I said, Ian's story is a smaller, shorter hockey version of my own. Going back to when my parents up and moved us to Oregon in my senior year in high school, through college (where I was not what one would call the best student), to the ten years I spent putting a square peg in a round hole in New York, my own path to success was anything but easy. Those ten years in the Big Apple included personal loss, being in the wrong place at the wrong time on September 11, getting caught right in the middle of the power outage that shut down the whole city in August, getting mugged on my own doorstep in broad daylight and serving on a jury in an ax murder trial. But in the end, I finally figured out that my future might be in a place I never planned.

So to Ian and anyone else to whom this might be relevant, here's the deal: sometimes the future you never saw coming can turn out to be better than the one you planned. 20 is not old and there are many other ways to be part of hockey that don't involve 60 pounds of goalie gear. But to find the future, you have to let go of what you thought it would be. It was our pleasure to welcome you to Portland, and I don't think I'm alone in wishing you the very best wherever you land.

Next up: With the help of a law dictionary and a few Advils, I shall return to attempting to understand the NHLPA's collective bargaining agreement.

Do the Kelowna Rockets Like Butter On Their Toast?

2010-10-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Kelowna Rockets (WHL).

The score: Portland 4, Kelowna 2.

The news: Nino Niederreiter is back. His line with Brad Ross and Ryan Johansen is therefore back. Note to self: Book plane tickets for the Memorial Cup final.

Want to know why this line is so special?: Personally, I recommend meeting them. If that's not possible, visit YouTube and NHL.com for bites and bits on the number 4, 5 and 43 draft picks from 2010. Here's the choice tidbits I've rounded up since meeting them and their parents:

Brad: I spoke to his father last night about the best or most important advice he gave Brad growing up. If you've seen him play, you know there's a reason Brian Burke was willing to trade something else away to draft Ross at #43. He's agressive, fearless and loyal to his teammates on the ice. But meeting him will tell you something you might not expect: according to his father he's "a total teddy bear." And I couldn't agree more. His father taught him well: know the difference between when it's ok and necessary to be aggressive to make things happen on the ice, and when to leave it behind off the ice. Be on lookout Toronto fans, something very special is coming your way.

Ryan: Growing up, the number 4 overall pick in the 2010 draft was all hockey, all the time. Yet, even when it came time for draft day, his mom told me what one might expect, that it was surreal and unbelievable. Ah yes, but that's what makes it so great. Ryan not only sent all the mock drafts out there crashing in flames, he also altered the course of the rest of the draft.

Nino: Thank you New York Islanders. We know you have big plans for him, but so do we. For now, it's the all-Nino, all Kelowna-is-toast weekend. But what's coming...that is the best part of all. There was no tournament or game Nino didn't play in last year, except for maybe the Olympics. The most exciting part of all is that the best is yet to come. And here in Portland, all we have to do is buy a ticket to watch it.

Trivial pursuit, Wall Street style: I participated in a press scrum that also included our local ABC affiliate, whose reporter noted that by playing 9 games in the NHL, Nino had already earned $100,000. He just turned 18 last month. When I asked him about his experience in New York, he said "I went a lot into the city." Among his favorite things: shopping on 5th Avenue, where he purchased some nice coats and suits. It boggles the mind. 18, on the loose in Manhattan with six figures. But no one is more deserving or appreciative than Nino. He fully understands his good fortune, he takes none of it for granted, and his main goal this season is: "this is a great team. I just hope we can make something really special here."

Now, how does one earn $100,000 in one month at 17 or 18, you might ask. Well, funny you should mention it:

I don't have a law degree and I'm not certified in accounting, but I'm pretty sure somewhere in here, the truth lies: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation. 9.1, d (i) I the event an 18 or 19 year old player signs an SPC with a Club but does not play at least ten (10) NHL games in the first season under that SPC, the term of his SPC and his number of years in the Entry Level Season shall be extended for a period of one (1) year, except that this automatic extension will not apply to a Player who is 19 according to section 9.2 by virtue of turning 20 between September 16 and December 31 in the year in which he first signs an SPC. Unless a Player and Club expressly agree to the contrary, in the event a Player's SPC is extended an additional year in accordance with this subsection, all terms of the SPC, with the exception of Signing Bonuses, but including Paragraph 1 Salary, games played bonuses and Exhibit 5 bonuses, shall be extended; provided, however, that the Player's Paragraph 1 salary be extended in all circumstances.

Morals of the story:

The game: I'm not entirely sure on this one, except that even the lowliest of minor league players -- which the Ross-Johansen-Niederreiter line will never be -- gets paid more than I'll ever make in a given year.

Life: oregonlive fans will forgive me for repeating something I posted over there this morning, but Ryan really did say it best. When he was returned to Portland by the Columbus Blue Jackets, he sent Nino a text that said simply "I'm on my way back to Portland. Feel free to join me." And thanks to the New York Islanders, Nino did.

One thing I hear consistently from all of the Portland Winterhawks is how great the team is, and that simple note is proof. My own youth was anything but special, but being the late bloomer that I am, the best years of my life came later. Much later. So perhaps that's why I harbor just a tad bit of jealousy when I see how much youth is not wasted on the young with this team. The most envy-inducing part is that they know how lucky they are, they appreciate it and I have every confidence they will never forget where they started. Everyone moves through life at their own personal velocity, and mine just took a while to pick up speed. My hope for this weekend's double header with Kelowna and for all the Winterhawks is that theirs continues picking up speed and never slows down. Something tells me I have nothing to worry about.

Next up: I'm off to pursue a dangerous, intriguing and what I'm sure will be most entertaining pursuit, courtesy of a recommendation from Spencer Bennett's father. I'm going to learn to play hockey once and for all, and you'll be reading about it here and over on oregonlive.com. Now mind, you may see gaps in this blog as I may be laid up in an emergency room with all manner of injuries. But I shall take my cue from Ryan, who according to his mom, when he would lose, just became more determined and worked harder. Stay tuned.

Nino's Back. Kelowna's Toast.

2010-10-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

The news: After maxing out the nine games he needed to play before his entry-level contract kicked in, Nino Niederreiter is returning to the Portland Winterhawks for the season. And may I commend the New York Islanders for their wise choice. Dudes, we're not done worshipping him. You can have him next year. Besides, if he plays the same season as Jordan Eberle, they can't both win the Calder (see previous entry). Gotta think strategically, my little experts.

It's Halloween, it's Nino's return, we're back to back against the Kelowna Rockets: They're toast. The end.

On the other hand: Goalie Ian Curtis, who came to Portland a little over a year ago after a tumultuous junior career, has cleared waivers. I was a fan, and I truly do wish him the best. Plus, when he was on 94.7 last year, his perfect playlist included Eve 6 and Kings of Leon. I am now a CD-carrying fan of both bands. Also, he was just all around cool for someone so young and who has been through so much. Very best wishes for all the best, wherever he lands.

More to come this weekend, but you can check out oregonlive.com/hawks for all the news that's fit to print on what has been a wild 'n wooly week out here in the Pacific Northwest.

What a Difference a Year Makes.

2010-10-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

The game: Vancouver vs. Colorado. Anaheim vs. Dallas. Calgary vs. Edmonton.

Why I chose them: Cutie pie Swiss goalie is in net for the Ducks. Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall, the rookie versions of Malkin and Crosby, are on it for the Oilers and I want to see another Canucks/fan altercation. Oh, and there goes Eberle with another purdy one. No clue how it just went in, but it did. It's his first even-strength goal. And it's only Tuesday. And he's only 20.

Fun factoid: When Eberle was on Hockey Night in Canada the other night, he noted that he had just taught Taylor Hall how to do his laundry. Oh, and apparently he knows how to cook too. Excuse me, where were these boys when I was 20? Oh right...I'm pretty close to his parents' age...so.....yeah. Ok. Moving on:

The quirk: Vancouver's jerseys tonight don't bear their last names. Dudes, that means I have to do the math to keep up. Most distressing.

The milestone: It has been exactly one year since I started this blog. In that time, I have branched out to an all-Portland Winterhawks blog on oregonlive and eventually you'll find this blog over on Kukla's Korner. On this most momentous of occasions, I have compiled a top 12 list of really cool hockey moments, one for each month I've been blogging. The first two happened before this blog, but they inspired it so they count.

12) The no-look backhanded hat trick that Evgeni Malkin parked in the Carolina Hurricanes' net during the 2009 playoffs. Why: I realized I didn't even know what a hat trick was. And thus ended my days of merely watching hockey as a humble observer. Because there is simply no excuse for that. It took five months before I shared with everyone else, but still....I count this among the top hockey moments/epiphanies in my life.

11) Watching the Pittsburgh Penguins win the 2009 Stanley Cup from a small bar in a restaurant located within an RV park, on the eve of graduation from grad school. The directions from the hotel merely told us to turn right at milemarker 35. And there in the woods, by the edge of a river in Southern Oregon, on the eve of my own personal version of a Stanley Cup hoisting, I watched from 2000 miles away while the Pens decamped to Detroit to reclaim the most prized of all hockey possessions.

10) Jordan Eberle's first NHL goal. YouTube it. Enough said.

9) Nino Niederreiter's first NHL goal. It was like lightning. Fast, beautiful and kind of scary....that is, when you think about this time last year, he was still figuring out how to get to Valley Ice Arena. What a difference a year makes, indeed.

8) Sidney Crosby's mad scramble in the Islanders game where it was clear he was totally going for the goals that earned him a tie with Steven Stamkos for the Richard trophy. He's never been arrogant in talking about it with reporters. But it wasn't exactly a secret that he wanted it either.

7) Watching the Olympics while Jonas Hiller, Luca Sbisa and company showed why the world should be afraid -- very afraid -- of Switzerland.

6) Like, say Nino and his teammates taking out Russia for the first time in the World Juniors. And Nino picking up his own personal fan club along the way.

5) The Portland Winterhawks' Dash for Cash, 2009. The coach got a second or so put back on the clock, and Calgary Flames' draftee Spencer Bennett tipped a face-off to Chris Francis, who pulled off the mother of all Hail Mary passes to tie up the game. It was a hat trick for Chris and he went on to score the game winning goal in a shootout. Were it not for those extra two seconds and those two players, it would have been just another losing night for the Hawks. It is still legendary around these parts, and I suspect it always will be.

4) Sidney Crosby's game winner in the 2010 Olympics. Enough said.

3) The Portland Winterhawks (WHL) beating the Tri-City Americans to get into the playoffs for the first time in four years.

2) Ty Rattie's game winning goal against the Spokane Chiefs that put us into the second round with the Vancouver Giants. With a nice setup by Nashville Predators' draftee Taylor Aronson, thank you very much. The YouTube video of the team piling up on top of one another in the victory celebration is what I do for fun, and to remind myself there is beauty when all else is going wrong in my life. And if the Portland Winterhawks ever take it down, they will need to fear for their safety.

1) 2010 NHL Entry Draft. The date: June 25, First Round. The location: Wild Wings Sports Bar, downtown Portland. The purpose: watching to see which Portland Winterhawks would be taken in the first round. Attendance: Oh, about 75- 100 sports fans crammed into the restaurant and bar. The noise when Portland Winterhawk Ryan Johansen became the number four overall pick, going to the Blue Jackets: violated the city's noise ordinances. The noise when his teammate Nino Niederreiter was chosen fifth overall moments later by the New York Islanders: yeah, we definitely broke some noise laws. The next day six more Winterhawks were chosen, including two who went to the same team (Luke Walker and Troy Rutkowski) and Brad Ross, who was wanted so badly by Toronto they traded someone else away to get him.

Next up: Back to the collective bargaining agreement, and the Portland Winterhawks' two-game homestand against Kelowna this weekend.

The Secret Weapon of Rising NHL Rookie Superstars? Chocolate, Of Course.

2010-10-24T14:54:00.001-07:00

The game: Nashville Predators vs. Tampa Bay Lightning.

Why I chose it: Because it's a rainy Sunday at 3 pm. What else is there to do? Oh, and in a year or two current Portland Winterhawk and Predators draftee Taylor Aronson will be playing for Nashville so I must be in training now for the day I will be pro-Predators all the time. Plus, since they did take out Pittsburgh in the 11th hour last night, clearly I must see what they're going to do to the honkin' tall French Captain and his posse.

I'm still all in: For Jordan Eberle for the Calder. He was on Hockey Night in Canada After Hours, and I must say, he was most impressive. Now, of course if Nino Niederreiter stays with the New York Islanders, then I will be all in for him. And, I just watched a video on The Hockey News in which his Islanders teammates point out that he is never without chocolate from his home country of Switzerland. Hilarious...along with his considerable talent, his secret weapon is chocolate. Love it.

Now, to the rule: As one might expect, the minimum salary for NHL players is still more than most people make in a year. 11.12. Minimum Paragraph 1 Salary. Except with respect to Amateur Try Out Agreements Pursuant to Exhibit 17, no SPC entered into after the date of execution of this Agreement shall provide:
2010 -11: U.S. $500,000
2011-12: U.S. $525,000

Amateur Try Out Agreements, by the way, are worth nothing. They pay no salary, no bonus and no compensation. Among the items on the contract are the player's name, the Club name, the player's height, weight, position, shoots (L/R), date of birth and birthplace.

Morals of the story:

The game: Considering that I've never made that kind of money in my own life, it's hard to fathom even making six figures. But what's funny in the NHL is that a nice half-million dollar salary is the bare minimum. No wonder so many players end up in debt and bad business deals and what not. They earn so much money they don't even know what to do with it or how to spend it.

Life: I don't think I'd know what to do with it either. I can barely keep a budget with my middle working class salary. I'm terrible with numbers. Yes, I'm a hockey fan and no I don't care about PIMs and TOI and all that. I care about things that aren't on a scoresheet, like whether Portland Winterhawk/Calgary draftee Spencer Bennett -- who was born on Halloween -- has any special superstitions as a result, and what his favorite costume from childhood was. I wonder whether when his teammate/Buffalo Sabres draftee Riley Boychuk gets in a few choice words with a Seattle opponent, were they discussing where to go for milk and cookies after? The burning questions any hockey fan wants to know, of course. So, alas I may never be able to balance my checkbook and maybe I'll never save as much as I should. But I can guarantee whether you read it here or on oregonlive, you'll read something way more fun than numbers.

Next up: 11.15, Default.

Greetings From Portland, Home of the NHL's Future

2010-10-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle Thunderbirds (WHL).

Score: Portland 2, Seattle 1 in a shootout. Both shootout goals and even the one that didn't quite make it were all the handiwork of players who will be coming to an NHL draft near you: Ty Rattie, Sven Bartschi and Brendan Leipsic.

And if that wasn't enough: We have a total of 9 NHL draftees on our active roster, including the number 4 and 5 overall picks this year (Ryan Johansen, Nino Niederreiter). Luke Walker, who was never chosen in the WHL Bantam Draft or any of the previous two NHL drafts for which he was eligible, was drafted 139th by Colorado. He scored for Colorado in the pre-season and is currently playing for their AHL team, the Lake Erie Monsters. Speaking of which:

Portland Winterhawk AHL/ECHL, whatever-HL watch: Winterhawks who "aged out" of junior last year are all over the minor leagues:

-- Stefan Schneider, also not taken in the Bantam or NHL drafts, was signed by Vancouver last spring. He is currently assigned to the Manitoba Moose and has already scored his first career AHL goal.

-- Chris Francis is one of three Winterhawks in the Columbus Blue Jackets' system. He was signed to their AHL team, the Springfield Falcons, over the summer. Last night, he scored his first career AHL goal against the Portland Pirates.

-- Eric Doyle joined the Winterhawks mid-season, spent part of it on the bench with a concussion and rallied back to help us get into the second round of the playoffs, is playing with the ECHL's Ontario Reign. He has racked up two points and has a +3 rating.

But meanwhile, back on home turf: The Hawks pulled off yet another Dash for Cash dazzler, as Ty Rattie continued his streak with the game tying goal, and one of the shootout goals. And Brendan brought the crowd to its feet with the game winning stunner when he went backhand-top shelf to outsmart Calvin Pickard.

Oh right, back to the rules: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing a Standard Player's Contract.

11.9. General: If I'm reading this right, this rule basically says that there's nothing preventing a Club from not paying a player, paying a player bonuses or individually negotiating with a player, as long as they follow the rules when doing so.

Morals of the story:

The game: I'm confused. They spend the previous 10 rules saying do this, don't do that, you can't do that, heretofore, notwithstanding, blah, blah, blah. And then they basically tell you, oh yeah, you can, as long as it's within the rules? It hurts the head.

Life: This article is exactly why I hate rules: they make things more complicated than they need to be.

Things to know about Sam: I don't like cats, I hate cliches, I despise shopping, and I could care less about talking on cell phones and texting on a Crackberry to show important I think I am. But above all things, I hate rules. Not the kind that keep us safe, mind, like laws that keep crazies off the roads and out of our homes. I'm talking about the rules of life, such as:

1) If you are a woman in your 40s, you should be married, have at least one kid, a dog, a minivan, and wear sweatshirts with gingham teddy bears ironed onto them. I'd rather die.

2) If you must remain single, you should walk around at all times on a cell phone or texting on a Crackberry to ensure that other people don't think you're a loser. I have friends, but I like doing a lot of things alone and unimpeded by "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Life is short; not a second of it should be wasted pretending to be something other than who and what you are.

3) I should love to shop until I drop, watch movies on Lifetime when I'm home alone on a Friday, and own a cat or two just to have something warm and fuzzy to keep me company in my sad little singleton apartment. Not gonna happen:

a) I hate shopping. I'm 5'9" with huge shoulders and tiny ankles and wide feet and big hips. Nothing fits me, and when it does I just buy 10 copies of it in different colors.

b) I'm allergic to cats and if I buy one, I'll buy 12 and there goes the neighborhood.

c) If ever a day comes when I announce that I will be changing the station from NHL Network or Center Ice to watch a cheesy "disease of the week" TV movie from the 80s, you are hereby permitted to clock me upside the head with a large blunt instrument with no fear of punishment from the law.

Next up: Skipping ahead to 11.12, Minimum Paragraph 1 Salary.

When Plotting Your Future in the NHL, Just Say No Trade, No Move

2010-10-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Everett Silvertips. Provided of course I can get there. The Prez is in town at the convention center, which is across from the rink.

Now this is what I call a hockey game: Rick Rypien has been suspended pending a hearing for getting into an altercation with a fan. The fans were kicked out of the rink, he went to the dressing room and then the box.

Now I hope the same thing doesn't happen here at home, but it is the Everett Silvertips, so: There might be a kerfuffle or two. Of course, thanks to the above situation, most of us may never see them. Also, in one of the Winterhawks' most painful losses during the 09-10 season, we lost to the tips 10 - 4. No that's not a typo. The game this evening also commences a six-game homestand, which is a blessing and curse 'cause we're better on the road. Well, so far. Stay tuned.

Move of the week: Evgeni Malkin scoring on Ottawa while airborne. And I thought the backhanded, no-look hat trick against Carolina in the playoffs took the cake. Hey, when you are your own hard act to follow, what else is there to do but score a goal while flying through the air with the greatest of ease?

The rule: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.8, Individually Negotiated Limitations on Player Movement.

11.8: Aha. This explains those infamous "no trade" clauses. The SPC of a any Player who is a Group 3 Unrestricted Free Agent may contain a no-trade or no-move clause. Provided that it doesn't kick in until said player becomes a Group 3 free agent. If the player is traded or put on waivers before the clause takes effect, then they are SOL when it comes to no-trade, no-move. But it doesn't stop the team from asking: this just gives the player the right to say no.

Morals of the story:

The game: So even if you really like your team and your town and your nice life, if the team wants you gone, go ahead and say no and watch while your coaches, your team and the fans make your life a living hell for refusing to leave when it's your time to move on? Discuss.

Life: Most jobs I've ever held, I would never have wanted this kind of clause in there. I spent 3 years on 5th avenue and a few on Wall Street in jobs that really, I had no business even applying for. But alas, I somehow fooled everyone, including myself and my employers, for far too long. In my case there should have been a "get out and don't come back clause" to save me from myself and a lot of wasted years doing something that I liked and I was sort of good at, but that I didn't love. But if that hadn't happened, this blog wouldn't have happened. So in the end all roads did lead to the right place. But still, like hockey it's always better to know when it's time to move on than to stay in a place that doesn't want you anymore.

Next up: Gotta keep it simple, for once: 11.9. General. And if you want to see how the Winterhawks game turned out: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

On the Other Hand, If You Challenge an SPC the 2nd Time, You Just Might Get $100 Million.

2010-10-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

The games: Ottawa vs. Pittsburgh, Islanders vs. Toronto, Tampa vs. Dallas.

Why I chose them: Sergei Gonchar returns to his old stomping ground, Honkin' Tall French Captain and his boys try to erase the Florida shutout from memory (how are they supposed to be my personal choice for team most likely to rebound when they get blanked by the Panthers? Most distressing) and Nino Niederreiter and his posse take it to the Leafs. The latter of which, by the way, in a few years will boast two Portland Winterhawks on either side of the center line. Nino's Portland linemate Brad Ross was drafted 43rd by Toronto in this year's entry draft.

Good news all around: The Pens continue their mini-comeback, Tavares nailed it for the Isles in overtime and Tampa narrowly escapes with a 5-4 victory over the Stars.

Sort of: Nino didn't get on the boards. He didn't even rack up a small penalty for serving yet another too many men on the ice for his team. Of course, here in Portland that just means more fodder for "when is he coming back?" But as much as we want that for ourselves, we also want him to be successful in the big time. And when the time is right, whether it's now or later, he will be.

And if you live in Portland: Make note...the Winterhawks commence a six-game homestand starting this Wednesday against Everett. Plenty of time to join us if you can.

First he goes late in the draft, now this?: Cam Fowler broke his nose when he took a hit from Shane Doan, who was later suspended for three games for an even nastier blindside hit on Dan Sexton. Welcome to the NHL. But a blindside hit by the Captain is not cool, dude. And I like Shane Doan. But that Anaheim game was (despite its staggering goaltending and Corey Perry scoring beauty) some ugly business that's deserving of punishment.

And long before you go around hitting people upside the head, first you need to get paid to do so: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.6(b) Subsequent Challenge or De-Registration of SPCs.

11.6(b)/aha! I think this explains the Kovalchuk three-ring circus. Sort of.:

Notwithstanding anything to the contrary in this Section 11.6, an approved and registered SPC may be subject to subsequent challenge and/or de-registration by the League (i) in the case of a circumvention relating to either the Club Upper Limit or the Maximum Player Salary, within 60 days from the date upon which the facts of the Circumvention became known or reasonably should have been known to the NHL, or (ii) in the case of a challenge pursuant to (i) or (ii) below, within fourteen days from the date upon which the SPC was approved by the NHL, in each case as follows:

(i) If an SPC is challenged solely because it resulted in the Club's Average Club Salary exceeding the Upper Limit, then the Player shall be entitled to continue play under such an SPC, and shall be entitled to all of the rights and benefits provided for under such an SPC.

Morals of the story:

The game: So let me get this straight...if you are a player who asks for $100-plus million over two decades, and it gets rejected because it's discovered that the Club is sneaking around outside NHL rules, you basically don't get punished in the meantime while they duke it out on your behalf? Now I get why players don't even think for a second about the consequences of their actions. According to this rule, there aren't any.

Life: One word: bailout. Only in our case it was like, what, $700 billion over the next three generations' lifetimes? And in our cases, our mortgages for houses we shouldn't have been allowed to buy because we really couldn't afford them put us into foreclosure, and our taxes go up to pay for said debacle, but the bank gets to carry right on with all the usual rights and privileges thereof whilst we go into debt, onto welfare and back to the food stamp line. True, the law tries to provide some consequences for said actions, but that doesn't stop people and companies most of the time either, now does it?

Next up: 11.8, Individually Negotiated Limitations on Player Movement.

Note to Players Who Challenge a Rejected SPC: Good Luck With That.

2010-10-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

The games: Islanders vs. Penguins. Atlanta vs. Anaheim. Portland Winterhawks vs. Kamloops Blazers (WHL).

Why I chose them: It's my boy Nino hitting the ice against the two-headed monster, Anaheim's cutie pie swiss goalie in fine form and the Hawks rock on the road.

The quirk: Except for the Anaheim vs. Atlanta, all the NHL matchups tonight feature teams that either invited to training camp, drafted or signed a Portland Winterhawk in the off-season.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.6, Rejection of SPCs and/or Offer Sheets; Subsequent Challenge and/or De-Registration of SPCs and/or Offer Sheets.

Now mind this uses a very cryptic alien language masquerading as English, but I'm pretty sure this is how it works: If said documents are rejected because they exceed the Club's upper salary limit, they do not comply with maximum player salary or it involves circumvention of the upper salary limit, and the NHLPA does not dispute it in a timely manner, the SPC or Offer Sheet will be rejected and the player reverts to his agreement before the thing was rejected. And if they do go to a timely dispute, then the player is entitled to the terms outlined in the SPC but not the Offer Sheet. From there if the League rejects the SPC/Offer Sheet it's null and void and the player reverts to his previous SPC/Offer Sheet.

Morals of the story:

The game: Timing is key. But either way, you're not going to get what you want. Sure, you can ask for more, but don't count on it.

Life: Makes you wish we could go back to the days when we did deals on a handshake and business was based on a gentleman's agreement. If we did the things that are outlined in rules and laws and regulations like the bloody things tell us too, we wouldn't need laws. We'd mind our p's and q's and do what we're supposed to without laws. Thanks to a few choice individuals who don't, we have rules like this. I don't like complication, so my rules would be way simpler. For example: Employees who think they are worth more than the minimum amount of work they do each day in between two hour lunches and delegating their tasks to others will immediately have their grossly bloated salary request rejected, and they will not be permitted to refile or appeal until their workload equals their salary request.

Next up: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.6 (b) Subsequent Challenge and/or De-Registration of SPCs.

Last Night, It Was All About Sven and Nino. Sort Of.

2010-10-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

The games: Islanders vs. Washington. Portland Winterhawks vs. Calgary Hitmen (WHL).

Why I chose them: I'm a season ticket holder for Portland, and obviously I must keep track as Nino's official NHL debut unfolds.

On the home front: We went down hard 5 -1 to the reigning 2010 WHL champions. But on a lighter note, Nino scored his first very pretty NHL goal.

And guess who scored the one Portland goal?: Sven Bartschi. With a little help from Ty Rattie and Ryan Johansen. But of course. Unfortunately it was a little too late in the third period, but it beats a shutout. You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

As for Nino: What else is there to say? You. Go. Boy.

I shall return later tonight with more highlights and the next installment of the CBA.

All NHL Players Must Register and Get Approval for Their Dreams

2010-10-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

The game: LA Kings vs. Atlanta Thrashers.

Why I chose it: Because it's their season opener, in all it's opening night hype-o-rama glory. Because Anze Kopitar somehow managed to get prettier with a mile-long scar above his lip. Because the national anthem is being played instead of sung...by Guns n' Roses guitarist Slash. Only in L.A. Game on.

Meanwhile back in Anaheim: The d-men left my favorite Swiss goalie out to dry. Ditto for his backup. Why am I not shocked?

Which is why...oohhh did I say that out loud?: Every d-man on Anaheim's team (excluding Cam Fowler, who's just following bad orders) is currently on my pooh list. And they're not coming off until they swear allegiance to cutie pie Swiss goalies and promise never to do it again.

The quirk: The broadcaster mixed up last night's game with this one and just called the opposing team the Atlanta Flames.

The rule: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.5. Filing and Approval Process.

If you thought being a superstar in the NHL means no shuffling paper and red tape and all that, think again: An SPC will be demmed to be filed with Central Registry only when it is actually received by Central Registry. Said document must be filed electronically or by fax. The Registry then must record the date and time they receive the SPC. A Club must file the SPC by no later than 5 pm on day following the one in which they have received the SPC or Offer Sheet from the player. If it's received after 5 pm, it will be deemed to have been received the next day. Finally, if no action is taken by the League after this, the SPC will be deemed to be approved and registered. Central Registry shall provide to electronically to the Club and the NHLPA a daily bulletin of all SPCs that have been approved and registered.

Morals of the story:

The game: Come on now, your secret dream is to be the guy or gal who prepares the daily bulletin of the SPCs that have been approved and registered. I know when I was in kindegarten and the teacher said what do you want to be when you grow up? I certainly didn't raise my hand and say I want to write a mind-numbing newsletter about how many pieces of paper my boss approved today. Which got me to thinking. And we know what happens when I do that.

Life: How do we get lost between wanting to be a famous hockey player, a writer, a dancer and artist and selling insurance or filling out spreadsheets or making widgets in a windowless basement office? Where, when and how do we give up on who and what we wanted to be? It's too easy to make little compromises and sacrifices that don't seem like a big deal, until one day you turn around and you've sold your whole dream to the highest bidder, instead of just the part of it you needed to sell just long enough to achieve it. Perhaps some of us have reached the point where winning an Olympic gold medal is out of reach, or maybe fitting into that size 4 prom dress again is not gonna' happen. But if you are still breathing and getting up everyday and going forth into the world, chances are there's still a chance for other dreams. Want my advice? Take it. No exceptions. No excuses.

Next up: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract. 11.6, Rejection of SPCs and/or Offer Sheets.

And Back In Portland, It's All About Sven

2010-10-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

The games: Portland Winterhawks vs. Spokane Chiefs (WHL) and Pittsburgh vs. Montreal.

Why I chose them: Because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than watch hockey, chat with fellow fans over at oregonlive and reheat leftovers. And if that's not sad enough:

The math: Pittsburgh went down to Montreal in the waning seconds of the game 3-2. Ummmm....I thought the new season and new venue meant new luck?

Meanwhile back here in the Pacific Northwest: The Winterhawks' newest Euro draft pick is tearing it up. Sven Bartschi was chosen in this year's draft, after a trade that earlier this year brought fellow countryman Luca Sbisa to town to boost our playoff run. Sven is 18, grew up in a small town in Switzerland and likes burritos. And oh yeah, he scored two goals in last night's game and was very nearly headed for the hat trick. During the pre-season he scored 4 goals in a 6-2 win over Kootenay. When I met him around that same time, he said his only goal for the season was "I hope I get to play a lot this season." Really. Get ready NHL fans, this name will be at the top of your mock draft lists in the not-so-distant future.

And dudes, don't be high sticking my favorite LA player: Anze Kopitar took a nasty gash to the upper lip in last night's game against Vancouver. In the pre-game clip on CBC today, he was right back at it and looked like he was ready to go for tonight's game. Mini bummer alert, though. His brother was with the Winterhawks all of last season and our pre-season and earlier this week was reassigned back to the Des Moines Buccaneers of the USHL. We all wish Gasper the best in the end, and I truly do hope it means more ice time and more notice for him. He never got quality ice time here for whatever reason, so in the end it was for the best. But dudes, how am I supposed to have another quality Anze Kopitar sighting at the Memorial Coliseum now that you've sent his bro away? Mini bummer, indeed.

The rule: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract.

So, don't even try to get yourself a better deal, then?: 11.1 Standard Player's Contract. The standard form SPC annexed hereto as Exhibit 1 will be the sole form of employment contract used for all Player signings after the execution of this Agreement. The standard form SPC may not be amended or modified in any manner whatsoever. Filed form 1995 SPCs will be considered valid and effective until their expiration, as deemed modified by this Agreement and the Compliance Rules attached as Exhibit 16 hereto, provided, however, that notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained herein, any previously, and still outstanding, rejected SPC shall not be deemed to be registered or approved pursuant to this provision or otherwise, and such rejected SPC shall be grieved in accordance with Article 17 of this agreement.

And I guess they don't pay players by meeting in a deserted parking lot with a briefcase full of cash: 11.16, Sale of SPCs. There shall be no cash transactions in connection with the Assignment of Players. Nor shall any Club be permitted to retain an obligation to pay or to reimburse another Club for a portion of any Player's Player Salary or Bonuses in connection with the Assignment of such Player, other than as set forth in Section 50.8 (b)(ii) of this Agreement.

Morals of the story:

The game: So.....no bribery, no changing the deal, no nothing. Well, at least the business of hockey is clean, 'cause darn sure the sport isn't. Nor would we want it to be. But still, it makes you wonder how teams like New Jersey get away with the things they do. This agreement has so many rules, caveats, arbitrations and grievance procedures, it's a wonder any business gets done at all.

Life: This made me wonder, can we do anything in life that doesn't come with a rule, contract, penalty or fee if you break said rules and contracts? Think about it, you need a contract for your cell phone, a mortgage and insurance for your house, a lease or loan for your car, a contract with the cable company to watch Center Ice and have high-speed Internet, a license to own your dog and go hunting on the weekend. And that's just a few. So here's a little food for thought: name a few things in your life that are rule, contract and/or law-free. It's a pretty small list, isn't it? Add our own gas to the fire in the form all the things we say we can't do, and it's toxic.

Here's the deal: This rule is proof that not even NHL superstars are truly free. It may come with restrictions and rules, but they don't allow that to stop them from living their dreams. Nor should we. One of my favorite inspirational stories comes from right here in Oregon, home of Rachel Scdoris, the first legally blind woman to complete the Iditarod race. If she can, there is no excuse for the rest of us. Enough said.

Next up: Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 11, 11.5. Filing and Approval Process.

Today, It's All About Nino

2010-10-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

The game: Today at 4 pm Pacific time, Portland Winterhawk Nino Niederreiter will make his official NHL debut with the New York Islanders. He has signed an entry level contract, which won't kick in until he plays 9 games. He has not yet been assured a permanent place on their roster, but he did well enough in camp to earn an opening night spot.

Why I chose it: DUH. Nino was drafted 5th in the 2010 Entry Draft, right after team and linemate Ryan Johansen, who went 4th to Columbus. Nino is the only of our 10 draftees who is still with his NHL team. By being chosen in that prime spot, he became the highest drafted Swiss player in the League's history. And even though this is about all him, let's not forget that by being picked 4th, Ryan (according to NHL.com) sent every mock draft out there crashing in flames. I met Ryan about five months before the draft, and I still don't think he any idea back then how loud his frequency was about to get. While the draft clearly instilled confidence in all of Portland's draftees, we are proud to say none of them have allowed it to go to their heads.

And if you are out there in New York preparing for game day, just a note for y'all. oregonlive readers have seen me do this before, in the form of a mock letter to the Islanders asking for Nino's return to us. But since the Islanders have decided to keep him for now....New York fans, this one's for you. And Portland fans, yes on occasion I do warm and fuzzy. For Nino, I'm sure you'll agree the exception is worth it.

Dear New York Islanders Fans,

I hope you will enjoy tonight's game, notably because you will have the pleasure of watching Nino Niederreiter make his professional NHL debut. Even if he only plays for one period or a few minutes, you'll see what I mean. There is nothing like our Nino and we expect that you will welcome him just the same as Portland did this time last year.

For a whole, magical season, Portland had the privilege of watching while Nino's star got brighter with every game. The only thing louder than the Staples Center on draft day was a bar in downtown Portland where we watched while the NHL had the good sense to snatch up two of our best players. Tonight, you will be treated to what I know will be a stunning debut by one of them. I hope that you will show Nino the same love, respect and care that we have, tonight and always.

While we still hold out hope that you will return him to us, if you must keep him, do take great care with our gift to you. He is only 18 after all, and his primary experience in the United States was a big-but-not-too-big city in the Pacific Northwest. He doesn't know yet what a New York minute is, or that when they say "the city that never sleeps" they mean it. I hope you will show him the very best of your city and the very best of yourselves.

The very best and most exciting thing about Nino and all of Portland's draftees is that the best is yet to come. You have the privilege of being the home of his future. Take great care with our prize, New York. There is only one Nino and his NHL debut only comes once. Self-respecting hockey fans in Portland will be watching from afar on couches, in bars, or online. But New York, the honor of making Nino's debut everything he dreamed about falls to you. I ask only that you show him what it's like to dream while he's awake.

Yours truly,

Samantha

Refresh Me, Why Would People NOT Want to Watch Hockey?

2010-10-07T18:26:00.001-07:00

The games: Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia, Toronto vs. Montreal, Chicago vs. Colorado, Edmonton vs. Calgary.

Why I chose them: Duh. Hockey is back. Why would anyone be doing anything else on this most momentous of evenings?

The local angle: Former Portland Winterhawk Braydon Coburn just got into it with Sidney Crosby at the end of the second period. Trivia tidbit: Coburn kept his Oregon phone number on the cell phone he carries around to this day.

Maybe they should prepare for the next game by looking up comeback in the dictionary: The Pens are trailing by 1 with 3:31 to go. Max Talbot needs to start punching somebody like, right now, and save what's left of this game.

Never mind: And down they go, 3 -2 Philadelphia. Well, at least they opened in Consol the way they closed in Mellon.

And win or lose: When I go out to Google News and put Sidney Crosby in the search bar, there will be soundbites a plenty. No replays. No photo opps with Roger Federer. Real live cliches from the real grownup wonder boy. Game and RSS Feeds on.

I love the Habs, but: I must start training now for the day I will be pro-Toronto all the time. And that will be the day when Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross makes the roster and puts on a jersey for real. Brad was drafted 43rd by the leafs in this year's draft. He's back in Portland, and has already been named WHL player of the week and has scored six goals in five games thus far. Most notably, he put us over the winning edge in last night's game against Everett.

And if that doesn't do it for 'ya: Tonight marks Taylor Hall's professional, regular season debut with Edmonton. Ditto for my personal fave Jordan Eberle. Kicking it off with the battle of Alberta. Interstate rivalry in Pennsylvania to christen Consol Energy Center. Three cheers for the scheduling geniuses at the NHL.

Background music: Carmina Burana is playing in the background at the Edmonton vs. Calgary game.

Oh alright, I guess I'll cover another rule I don't understand: Article 10, Free Agency. 10.4 Draft Choice Compensation for Restricted Free Agents. Group 2 Compensation Chart. It goes like this:

Any club that is entitled to but does not exercise its Right of First Refusal pursuant to Section 10.3 shall be entitled to obtain Draft Choice Compensation from the New Club. The number and quality of draft choices due to the Prior Club shall be based on the average annual value of the compensation contained in the Principal Terms of the New Club's offer sheet (determined by dividing such compensation by the lesser of the number of years of the Offer Sheet by five), based on the following scale:

Offer Sheet Compensation

$660,000 or below None

Over $660,000 to $1 million 3rd Round

Over $1 million to $2 million 2nd Round

Over $2 million to $3 million 1st Round and 3rd Round

Over $3 million to $4 million 1st Round, 2nd Round and 3rd Round

Over $4 million to $5 million Two First Rounds, 2nd Round and 3rd Round

Over $5 million Four 1st Rounds

Morals of the story:

The game: Well at least they tell you how to do the math in this one. And now I understand all that wheeling and dealing that goes on at the draft, the off season and the trade deadline. And you superstar players, I hate to tell you this, but this rule is proof you are a commodity. If you're lucky, you're changing the game and all that. But never forget that you are also a line item on a spreadsheet. Speaking of which:

Life: How like hockey life is. We're all line items on a spreadsheet. We can all be traded, put on waivers and downsized at any time. Only in life, we don't get choice draft picks or millions of dollars in trade. But we should. Anyone whose company decides to downsize, realign or re-whatever should be entitled to compensation equal to ten times what they were paid while putting forth their blood, sweat and tears for said employer without so much as a thank you before being shown the door or downgraded to a smaller cube, salary and job title.

Next up: Article 11, Rules and Procedures Governing Standard Player's Contract.

Hockey Is Back. Period. End of Off Season.

2010-10-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

The game: Portland Winterhawks vs. Everett Silvertips (WHL). Everett is up 3 - 2 as the begin the third period. It's "how many penalties can the Winterhawks pull in one night" night here in the Pacific Northwest. On the other hand, Spencer Bennett just scored his fourth goal of the season, and Ryan Johansen scored the game tying goal and set up Spencer for his go-ahead goal (just after coming out of the box).

In case you're wondering what they eat for breakfast: No clue, but I do know what Spencer eats for lunch. He's turned our new Swiss import Sven Bartschi on to burritos. I must make note to ask Spencer which "Mexican Grill" Sven was referring to the other night when I talked to him. There's about half a dozen with that name attached to them.

Major bummer alert: Thanks to lengthy technical difficulties, we just missed Brad Ross' game winning goal that sealed the deal to beat Everett 5-3. It's his 6th goal in five games. Ryan Johansen walks away with a goal and two assists, a mere 72 hours after arriving back in Portland.

But that is a mere warm up for this: Tomorrow night is NHL Face-Off in Toronto. In less than 24 hours, hockey returns. And mark your calendars for the Islanders vs. Stars game on Saturday. It marks the official NHL debut of the highest drafted Swiss player in the League's history, Nino Niederreiter, who has earned a spot on the Islanders opening night roster.

And this: Article 10, Free Agency. (b) Group 4 Free Agents. Definition of a "defected player." For purposes of this Agreement, a "Defected Player" means any Player not unconditionally released:

(A) who, having had an SPC with a Club, the provisions of which, including the option clauses in a 1995 SPC, have not been completely fulfilled, contracts for a period including any part of the unfulfilled portion of his SPC, with a club in a league not affiliated with the NHL or with any such league (both of which are hereinafter referred to as an "unaffiliated club") or with any other professional hockey club to the exclusion of the said Club or its assignee or:

(B) who, never having been under contract to any Club, but as to who the NHL negotiation rights now or at any time hereafter shall reside in any Club, has contracted or shall contract with such an unaffiliated club.

(C) A Player who plays out his final season, or option season pursuant to a 1995 SPC, as the case may be, and enters into a contract for a period including the following season with an unaffiliated club or with any other professional hockey club shall not be deemed to be a "Defected Player"; provided, however that nothing contained in this Section shall be construed to affect the rights of said Club to compensation, if applicable, pursuant to this Article 10 in the event that said Player should subsequently enter into an SPC for his services as a professional hockey player with another Club of the NHL.

Morals of the story:

The game: "Gotta keep it simple" is my new peeve/cliche. There's nothing simple about this game. Unless you went to Harvard law school. Then I'm sure it's a piece of cake.

Life: Ok, I got the not unconditionally released part, but you lost me after that. Like this rule, we complicate life entirely too much. We get tangled up, caught up and we give up. Sliding downhill in life is far too easy to start and too hard to stop. The trick to climbing life's peaks is to stop at the plateau every now and again to survey the landscape. Look around, appreciate where you are, adjust for previous mistakes and move forward. And whatever you do, don't let the other climbers drag you down. Yes, I just used mountain climbing and hockey as metaphors for life. What can I say? It's late on a Wednesday and my other options were way cheesier.

Next up: Article 10, Free Agency. Group 2 Compensation Chart.

And That's What You Get for Slashing the Winterhawk Who's Still Out There.

2010-10-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

The news: Mike Cammalleri has been suspended one game for slashing Nino Niederreiter in a game against the Islanders. That means he'll be missing the Canadiens' season opener. Here in Portland broadcaster Andy Kemper is known for saying "you don't mess with the Johan" whenever Nino's linemate and fellow top NHL draft pick Ryan Johansen makes a sick move out there. And you don't mess with the Nino either.

A fitting opportunity to skip ahead to this rule: 18.3, Procedures for Standard On-Ice Discipline. Notwithstanding anything stated in Article 17 (Grievances) hereof, all disputes involving a suspension imposed upon a Player by the commissioner (or his designee) for conduct on the ice will be processed exclusively as follows unless the procedures of Article 18.4 are applicable.

(b) For the purpose of calculating salary lost due to suspension, the following formula will apply:

(i) For first offenders (first incident requiring supplementary discipline in the form of game suspension) Player to forfeit one day's Paragraph 1 Salary and Bonuses, but not including Performance Bonuses, for each Regular Season lost (1/total number of days in the Regular Season measured from the date of the League's first Regular Season Game to the last, irrespective of the Player's team schedule).

In addition to his suspension, Mike Cammalleri will forfeit $32,258.06. Which means that's what he makes in a day. Oh, and also: there is a Rule in the CBA specifically titled "No Circumvention." (Article 26).

Morals of the story:

The game: Dude, don't mess with Portland's prized draft possessions.

Life: It took me several years of hard work straight out of college to make that much money in a year. Where did I go wrong? I think somewhere between honor society in junior high and dropping out during a semester of my junior year in college, the truth lies. 20 years out of college, I am very privileged to be among Portland's small but mighty media that covers the Winterhawks. It may have taken a while, but one way or another I got here. I didn't go wrong, really, the path was just a little more crooked than the one NHL superstars take to the top. But if I had tried to do any of this when I was in my twenties, it would have flopped. So everything does happen for a reason, and at the time it's supposed to happen. I'm sure the young Winterhawks players I interview for my oregonlive blog see me at practice or in the locker room and are no doubt like, "who is that and what is she doing down here?" But the very coolest thing ever happened the other night when a few of the players just walked by me and said "hey Sam" or said hello while I was interviewing our new Nino -- 18-year-old- get-ready-NHL-he's-coming-your-way -- Sven Bartschi, about where to find good burritos in Portland. It's a long way to the top, and sometimes the top is the basement of the Rose Garden on a Sunday night. But I found it, one way or another. And it's easier than you think. I'm a humble hockey fan from Portland. If I can, anyone can.

Next up: Oh right, back to topic with the definition of a "defected player."

Portland Winterhawks' NHL Draftees: Seven Back, One to Go.

2010-10-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Good for us/maybe not so much for him: The Columbus Blue Jackets have returned Ryan Johansen to Portland. We are awaiting word as to when we'll see him back on our ice. He had made it clear he wanted to stay with them, as any draftee would. And I have no doubt he put 150% effort into doing so. But timing is everything, and Ryan's turn will come. Try telling him that this weekend, though. On the upside, Portland is ecstatic, which hopefully will take the sting out of it for him when we welcome him back.

That just leaves one: Nino Niederreiter is still with the Islanders and by all expert accounts is expected to remain there for at least the nine games it will take for his contract to kick in. Alas, tonight we will have to settle for his wobbly likeness in the form of a Nino bobblehead. It's not the real thing, but we will think of him whilst standing in line waiting for our turn to pick one up. And I for one will think nothing but good things for him wherever he is tonight.

Now that I've decrypted most of it, on with the CBA: Article 10, Free Agency. 10.2, Restricted Free Agents. (ii) Hey look, I finally get this one: In order to receive a Right of First Refusal or Draft Choice Compensation (at the Prior Club's option) with respect to a Restricted Free Agent, the Prior Club of a Restricted Free Agent must tender to the Player, no later than 5:00 p.m. New York time on the later of June 25 or the first Monday after the Entry Draft of the final year of the Player's SPC, a "Qualifying Offer" which shall be an offer of an SPC, for one League Year, which is subject to salary arbitration if such Player is otherwise eligible for salary arbitration in accordance with Section 12.1, on at least the following terms and conditions: to paraphrase, you basically get to make more with you new team, but it is limited. And nowhere does the limit allow $100 million over several decades.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, since it is New York time and there is such a thing as a New York minute, what happens if you tender the deal to the player at 5:01 New York time? No deal? This also makes you wonder how they could even attempt the Kovaluchuk deal. Or any similar long term deal, but they did and it's allowed. But darned if I'm smart enough to figure out why. Somewhere between Ryan and Nino's entry level deals, and the ridiculous long-term deals floating around the NHL, the truth lies. But maybe we can find it here:

Life: What if there was a life version of a "Qualifying Offer" and it required us to only take the very best deal in which we followed our bliss, got paid what we're worth and forbid us under pain of death from giving in, giving up and only taking what we're given instead of asking for what we want? Would it force us not to take the middle of the road? Or would we just give up altogether if things didn't turn out the way we wanted? In sports there is no in between and there shouldn't be in life either. Maybe that's why we get so tweaked at athletes and the game...because we expect them to do what we did not in life...be perfect, be a superstar and never make a mistake. When really, we should be spending all that energy and time being the superstars of our own lives. Let's try it, shall we?

Next up: the CBA's definition of a "Defected Player" and what it means for said players.

Welcome to Portland, Home of Bobblehead Geeks.

2010-10-01T18:06:00.000-07:00

The game: Getting psyched for the Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle Thunderbirds game on Oct. 2nd.

And how might one get psyched up for such a momentous occasion?: By meeting the players, of course. You can find the results here under "I'm all about bobbleheads": www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

What could be better than Nino bobblehead night?: Nino himself, who is still with the Islanders. But still, I am so excited I've accorded a special spot in my very small handbag for it. Now mind, I have recently downsized my handbag because I was slowly but surely turning into the oversize handbag lady, and I simply refuse to be one of those chicks who goes looking for her car keys and finds a baloney sandwich from 1972 hiding underneath them. Nor am I ever buying a cat. Period. End of story. I'm a single woman in my 40s. I buy one cat, I'll buy 10 and that's enough said about that. Besides:

I was a guy in a former life: The only thing I love talking about more than hockey is my car. My favorite hobby is figuring out how many times they say "what the fuck?" in "The Hangover" and I hate shopping. So when I said that Luke Walker's story warms my heart, it was not easy. Because I certainly don't say things like that, and I rarely think them. But his story is one that is worth reading up on. And he is a player worth paying attention to. As are all the Portland Winterhawks.

Morals of the story: For tonight's juicy bit on life and what not, I will refer back to my oregonlive feature on the three Taylors who are just back from NHL training camp. I have now actually met a handful of the Winterhawks in person. All are under 20 and living in a strange town with strange people like me wandering amok all around them. And in the audience above them on game night are guys like the one next to me who kept calling Brendan Leipsic "Scrappy" and "Scrappy-Do" all night long. Brendan has some growing to do physically, but he's one tough kid and one hell of a goal scorer. But it made me think: who are we as grown ups/fans to judge them, anyway? If we tried to make it through their 90 minute practice, we'd last about 90 seconds. If we had to make a split second decision on the ice instead of while watching it above the glass, I'm sure we'd do more than a few stupid things too. And if we had to straighten up and fly right and talk to bloggers, journalists and other hangers-on in between school, games, practice and long bus rides, I doubt we'd display the same respect, kindness, smarts and courtesy that I saw in the three Taylors.

After all, we were their age once and if I recall my own adolescence, it involved a hair dryer, a shopping mall and a pathological need to own designer jeans which had gone out of style by the time I'd saved enough babysitting money to buy them. So I for one have no intention of judging them. Other than to say this: yes, if they want to get to the NHL, they will need to straigthen up and fly right. But at least for the boys here in Portland, they already have. Game on and carry on, boys.

Next up: Onward with the collective bargaining agreement. Why is it taking so long to get through it, you might ask? Because it takes at least 48 hours to figure out what edition of Webster's dictionary they used in writing it. But I should have the next section decrypted by tomorrow around lunchtime.

The Third Goals on the Third Day Are the Charms.

2010-09-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

The games: Portland Winterhawks vs. Vancouver Giants (WHL) and Vancouver vs. San Jose.

Why I chose them: It's Vancouver all around, what's not to like? Besides, I'm in training for the day I will be pro Vancouver, all the time. And that would be the day Stefan Schneider joins the roster. But there is hope: about a week ago, the cameras did a close up shot of the Canucks' GM in his box seat over his shoulder. On a tiny scrap of paper was his roster, a handwritten list that included Stefan's name. There in a small corner of an NHL rink, on a small piece of paper, was a small part of Portland. He's been reassigned to the Manitoba Moose for now, but you go boy. We'll be waiting and watching. And we will have faith.

Is breakaway one word?/best play by a draftee so far: Brad Ross, turning over a new leaf with more scoring on 2 breakaway goals (so far) and fewer penalties. It's his third of the season (the first was also a breakaway), and he just got back to action on Monday. Also, I met him on Monday, and just like Spencer he's totally polite, direct and way more charming than you'd expect of someone who likes to start some business out there. Most impressive all around and it's very clear he grew up over the summer. Oh and speaking of Spencer, he just scored HIS third goal of the season.

Thank god this is happening: There's two simultaneous fights underway, courtesy of Derek Pouliot and Tayler Jordan. Both following a clean hit. That's hockey...clean hits mean dirty fights.

And get used to these names: Ty Rattie and Sven Bartschi just combined for our fourth goal and we are now 4 -1 in the second. Oh, and if I heard Andy Kemper correctly, Rattie just scored his third goal of the season.

To refresh: The Portland Winterhawks' regular season is three days old.

And across town: Nino Niederreiter is playing with the New York Islanders in a game with Calgary. I either have to get up in the middle of the night or watch the replay tomorrow morning. I can think of no better reason to go to bed early and get up with the sun tomorrow.

He must have used the force: Portland Winterhawks forward Luke Walker has signed with the Colorado Avalanche and is currently in training camp with their AHL Team, the Lake Erie Monsters. Luke was never drafted by the WHL: he made the Winterhawks' roster after answering a training camp invite. He went through two NHL drafts without being chosen, and this was his third and last chance. He ultimately played on the US World Junior Team that won the Gold Medal, even though he got kicked out of a scrimmage in the tryouts, and he had to fight to stay there. You go boy, indeed. Other than Stefan, this is the story that truly does warm my heart. Luke was one of my favorite players and I suggest you put him on your NHL radar. You will be glad you did.

Now, in case you're wondering what all of Portland's NHL stars in the making will be earning one day:

Section 10, Free Agency.

10.2, Restricted Free Agents. Group 2 Players and Free Agents. Any player who meets the qualifications set forth in the following chart and (1) is not a Group 1 Player or Group 4 Player, and (2) is not an Unrestricted Free Agent, shall be deemed to be a Group 2 Player and shall at the expiration of his SPC, become a Restricted Free Agent. Any such Player shall be free to negotiate and sign an SPC with any such Club, and and any Club shall be completely free to negotiate and sign an SPC with any such Player, subject to the provisions set forth in this Section. As used in this Section 10.2, "age," including "First SPC Signing Age" means a Player's age on September 15 of the calendar year in which he signs an SPC regardless of his actual age on the date he signs such SPC.

First SPC Signing Age Eligible For Group 2 Free Agency
18 - 21 3 years professional experience
22 - 23 2 years professional experience
24 or older 1 year professional experience

Morals of the story:

The game: So the key to getting to free agency faster is to sign later. That is, if the NHL doesn't think of you as "old" for being 24 years old at your first SPC signing. Plus, you always think when you hear free agent (restricted or unrestricted), it means the player is free to do as he pleases, and go where he pleases. Forget that. According to this rule, you're not free to do anything except try to read this bloody rule several times over to figure out just what exactly you are entitled to do.

Life: We think that people who live their dreams in the NHL or anywhere else are happy and free and never have problems. Bullshit. They are just as restricted by rules as we are, and one blindside hit can end your dream just like that, as it may have in Marc Savard's case. Living a free life is everyone's dream, but who really does? It's like the Joni Mitchell lyric...dreams lose their grandeur coming true. And sometimes they don't come true at all, or get cut short by unforseen circumstances. Junior hockey players are out there right now, taking their chance while they have it. Doing the very most with it. They have it right. Go out there and score your own version of three goals in three days. Take the chances while you have them and keep taking them if they come along again. Life is short and there is only one real chance to live it right, so what are you waiting for?

Next up: Section 10, Free Agency. Section 10.2, Restricted Free Agents, Definition of a "Defected Player."

So, Unpooh and Unbother...Portland 7, Vancouver 2.

2010-09-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

First, if you're looking for me, here you go: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

I know from my stats one of the loyal readers of this blog is a Spencer Bennett fan/family member?: If so, my sincerest thanks for reading this blog and definitely check out the oregonlive blog. Your boy inspired much of today's entry. True, it came from a litany of cliches, but still,...I don't often get inspired by people half my age, so kudos to him. And if it is his family tuning in, nice job raising him properly. He's super-polite, looked me in the eye, shook my hand, and all around was totally respectful and very friendly. Definitely look for a profile over on oregonlive later this season when I have the time and opportunity.

As for the Hawks: Take that, Vancouver. We took 'em out, 7 - 2 in the home opener. Now, the only question is...why couldn't we do that in last year's playoffs? No matter...onward to what promises to be an awesome season. And here's a kibble from Spencer I didn't use on the other blog: when I asked him about how last night was different from Saturday, one of the things he told me was that they wanted to prove last year's team wasn't a fluke. Point proven and onward to a weekend of bobbleheads, victory and the season ticket holder party.

Late day update: Luke Walker, as expected, has signed a three year deal with the Avs and has been assigned to their AHL team. Now, how does this work, you might ask? Well, funny you should ask. The terms of his deal were not disclosed, but I think they probably go a little something like this:

Article 9, Entry Level Compensation: For players drafted in 2010, the entry level minor league compensation is $67,500. That's a salary that it takes some people years to earn. And, players get a bonus, as follows: 9.5, Exhibit 5 Performance Bonuses. Clubs and Players may negotiate, and a Player who is subject to the Entry Level System under Article 9 may be paid bonuses for the types of performances, and in the maximum amounts, set forth in Exhibit 5. Oh, and if you're wondering what Exhibit 5 is: There are bonuses awarded for darn near everything except showing up, including goals, assists, time on ice, the all star game, being on the ballot for NHL awards, points per game, plus/minus ratings, blocked shots, save percentage and GAA, to name just a few.

Morals of the story:

The game: Now I understand why players go scrambling for the puck on an icing and why they put themselves in danger at every opportunity. Forget the Stanley Cup. I believe the real reason starts with a b.

Life: Ok, I want a bonus for every flippin' thing I do every day, as follows: being quiet in my apartment so as not to disturb others; getting up every day and being on time to the bus stop and work; obeying all traffic signals, signs and other drivers when I do drive; going to the gym and working out for my appointed and recommended 30 minutes a day; working 8 - 10 hours a day by fulfilling my job description to the fullest extent possible; and kindly holding the door for anyone who has more challenges in life than I do. Surely, these kibbles of good behavior must be worth a little something extra, don't you agree?

Up next: Back to topic with a full entry about the CBA.

Pooh and Bother: Seattle Thunderbirds 4, Portland Winterhawks 1.

2010-09-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

There must have been a curse last night: Because Ryan Johansen and the Columbus Blue Jackets also lost...to Pittsburgh. So maybe it wasn't so bad. My favorite NHL Draftee and my favorite team facing off against each other. Win, lose or draw, still a good game.

Monday is the new Saturday: Because tomorrow, the Portland Winterhawks play their first home game of the regular season against Vancouver, the team that took us down in the second round of the playoffs. With a few more NHL draftees en route back to Portland from training camp and the home ice advantage, we stand a much better chance.

But major bummer alert: Ian Curtis, the goalie who figured Vancouver out and shut them down last year, is down with an injury until at least October.

On the upside: Captain Brett Ponich is on his way back from St. Louis Blues' training camp. Ditto for all-around troublemaker Brad Ross, who was sent back to us from Toronto and Riley Boychuk, who's on the way back from Buffalo. We are still waiting word on Ryan Johansen, Oliver Gabriel and Nino Niederreiter and whether Luke Walker will stay with Colorado's AHL team, where he has been assigned for now.

And if you want to know what else I've been up to in the past 48 hours, you can check it out here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Of course, there's plenty of NHL action on about town: Like say, the Edmonton Oilers, with little goal scoring genius Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall in tow, cooked Vancouver 8 - 2. That's right. The future is now and it lives in Edmonton. For tonight anyway. Personally, I'm in for Eberle being the next Matt Duchene...steady, quiet, smart and awesome. And I predict he will quietly steal the thunder now and again from this year's number one draft pick.

So, if Edmonton can blow past my bet for this year's Stanley Cup: Then surely the Winterhawks can pick up their game after Saturday's loss and bring us a nice little victory at home. Game on and if you live in Portland, I'll see you there.

WHL Regular Season = Sam is Even Shinier and Happier

2010-09-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

The game: Season opener between WHL's Seattle Thunderbirds and Portland Winterhawks.

OOOHHHH and it comes with this: Cutie pie referee/lawyer Matt Kirk is refereeing. I really must get on board with the WHL's officials' schedule and trek to all games where said ref is present and accounted for.

Why I chose it: Duh.

The distraction: Trying to keep track of the various Hawks who are still with their NHL teams. Tonight, they include Brett Ponich (St. Louis), Ryan Johansen (Columbus), Nino Niederreiter (Islanders), Oliver Gabriel (Columbus), Luke Walker (Colorado), Riley Boychuk (Buffalo).

Speaking of the NHL and reality: I will now take the time to worship executives at HBO, which will begin running a documentary about Pittsburgh and the Capitals in the month or so leading up to the Winter Classic. Even picture perfect wonder boy Sidney Crosby has already admitted he's human and you may see some less than perfect behavior. If you watch the DVD thingy about him and you watch the Winter Classic against Buffalo, I can assure you the boy knows how to drop the f-bomb. And may I just say, thank god. Because if he behaved himself on the ice too, then even I, loyal card carrying Crosby fan, would have to rethink some things.

The late evening moral of the story: I love game day. I mean I freakin' love it. Anything is still possible, it's anyone's game and you can feel the earth move. Especially season-opening night. No matter what else is wrong with your life, no matter how bad things might be, it makes it all ok. What I'm trying to figure out is how to live every day of my life like that, because that's how it should be. We should get up, go forth and conquer and not come home until we've howled at the moon, burned every bridge and danced on every bar. It should all be like draft day and game day and Stanley Cup final day. Monday is the Hawks home opener. I will therefore avow to get up, go forth and do more than make paper clip forts and read the Winterhawks' Twitter feed all day long. At the very least, I will build a very serious paper clip fort that will protect all my tacky Hawks promo gear from being burgled.

Next up: Back to topic with the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

The NHL Pre-Season = Sam Is a Shiny Happy Person Again.

2010-09-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

The game: Toronto vs. Ottawa. Hopefully Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross' new employers will see fit to guide the team to a better outcome than last night's shutout loss to the Senators. And indeed they are well on their way, complete with some serious fighting. Yep, Brad is definitely a good fit for the Leafs. But hello Ottawa, where is Peter Regin? I had one crap-ass day at work, the least you can do is give me some very honkin' tall Danish pretty boys to look at.

And across town in Ohio: NHL 4th overall draft pick Ryan Johansen made his debut with the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight. Alas, he did not get on the boards, but the only thing more exciting than watching from a downtown bar in Portland with fellow fanatics when Ryan was picked is watching him suit up for his new employers. And right smack dab in between Rick Nash and R. J. Umberger. Do I care that they lost to Washington 6 - 2? Do I care that Ryan didn't score? Ummmm....let's see... plus one, carry the three, divide by two....no. A quasi-hometown boy is out there living the dream. Game on and stop worrying about the stats, my little bean counters.

Speaking of dreams...it's late and I really don't want to read another paragraph about contracts and hockey ages and entry-level compensation. So tonight I will just leave you with this moral of the story:

Life: I love the way the media coverage of rookies/draftees is all about stats, will they be returned to their junior team, are they ready for the NHL, are they good enough, blah, blah, blah. Excuse me, what do the rest of us who have never played in the NHL, never coached in the NHL and never been on an NHL payroll know about it, exactly? And who are we to judge? I can barely stand up on two skates, let alone skate and shoot at the same time. If I tried to, I'm pretty sure Vicodin and an emergency room would be involved. If I stressed out over hockey the way some fans do, I'd cease to enjoy it. So maybe I am a freak, but here's the deal:

Hockey is what we live for. It's what we love. It makes even the worst day worth living. And tonight, somewhere out there, young boys who just graduated high school are proving that yes, Virginia, you can live your dream. Perhaps rather than telling them how they ought to be living, playing or talking, we should be learning from them. They're not expanding their waistlines and shrinking their minds and giving up. They haven't sold out and they haven't given in. Why should they? For that matter, why should anyone?

Next time you feel the urge to pass judgment on your favorite players, may I suggest you take the time to remember the following before doing so: Did you live your dreams today, even for just a little while? Did you work out and keep your body in shape and operating at its very best peak physical condition? Did you go to bed at 8:30 the way Zach Parise used to when he was little because he read that that's what hockey players did the night before games? If you did, then good for you, judge away. But if not, may I be so bold as to suggest we suspend judgment until we have risen to the occasion ourselves? These boys left home at an early age, spent the latter part of their high school years in strange towns living with strange people and gave up pretty much everything to be where they are. Unless we have done the same or better, it is not our place to decide whether they are good enough, ready enough or smart enough. They made it. They did it. They got the dream. Be happy for them. And that for a little while, through them we get to be happy too.

There I said it. It's the shiny happy people entry. I feel better. And I promise to never, ever do it again.

Next up: Article 10, Free Agency.

Does Pre-Season Hockey Meet the NHL's Equalization Obligation?

2010-09-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

Reminder to program the DVR/proof there is something holier than myself running the show that is life: The NHL Network will begin broadcasting the pre-season tomorrow night with a game between New Jersey and the Flyers and the fun continues with a total of 35 games leading up to NHL face-off on October 7 in Toronto.

Who makes this stuff up?: Article 10, Free Agency. 10.1 Unrestricted Free Agents. And I'm only reprinting the part that applies to current League Years. 10.1: (a) Group 3 Players and Free Agents. (i) For (D) the 2008-09, 2009 - 10, 2010-11 League Years, any player who either has seven (7) Accrued Seasons or is 27 years of age or older as of June 30 of the end of the 2007-08, 2008-09, 2009-10 League Year, shall, if his most recent SPC has expired, with such expiry occurring either as of June 20 of the applicable League Year or June 30 of any prior League Year, become an Unrestricted Free Agent.

Ok, now this I get. And it wins the prize for most words with "tion" at the end of them in one rule: Such Player shall be completely free to negotiate and sign an SPC with any Club, and any Club shall be completely free to negotiate and sign an SPC with such Player, without penalty or restriction, or being subject to any Right of First Refusal, Draft Choice Compensation or any other compensation or equalization obligation of any kind.

Morals of the story:

The game: Could this thing be any more complicated? Clearly, it was written by some bored NHL front office lawyer type who really wanted to be a painter, but decided instead in his regret and jealousy of others who took the road less traveled to take it out on the GMs and owners and dealmakers. I think the bottom line here is something I thought I'd never admit: now I see why players are cutting those ridiculous 15-year deals with some outrageous salaries. And the teams are letting them. It's easier and saves millions in billable hours to some lawyer compared to dealing until the midnight hour in the back room of a Marriott over free agents, unrestricted free agents, Group 3 players, Group 5 players and what not.

Life: The CBA is a metaphor for life. It makes everything way more complicated than it needs to be. My mother believes that in the workplace and life, people make things complicated to make themselves feel important. If I can get ten people to work for me instead of the two I really need, then I will look like I'm the boss of things and I'm getting things done. And, if it takes twice as long and involves a small handbook with rules, even better. It's sad when you think that if people felt important without all that, they would keep it simple and they would get more done and therefore look even better and more important.

If I recall correctly when the Penguins were barreling towards their 2009 Stanley Cup, they used "gotta keep it simple" and "play our game" more than a few times in interviews. And hey, guess what? It worked. We don't need CBAs and message points and a 10-year game plan for life or careers. The latter never works out anyway. What we need is self-worth, work ethic and honesty. And the only handbook should be one that relegates any individual who does not possess these things to a rehab center where they will learn that doubling the workloads of subordinates at work just because you can, always being on your Blackberry except when you're sleeping and plastic surgery will not make you more beautiful and more important than other people. And punishment rendered will fit the crime. For example: for being surgically attached to you mobile device, you will be stripped of the Crackberry and placed into a room with other people who are all on their phone, texting, etc. while you have to sit there and know you are the only person who doesn't have one. And by the time you get yours back, your so-called friends have moved on to someone else they just met on Facebook.

Next up: Onward with Article 10, Free Agency.

At Last, To Training Camp the NHL Goes. So Maybe I Can Go On Living.

2010-09-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

So, can we just count this as the start of the season?: NHL training camps open across the league this weekend. Along for the ride are 9 Portland Winterhawks. I think it counts as the official start of the season. Plus, it means juicier headlines on NHL.com than "Toews takes time out for a golf tourney."

And you know I'm excited about it, because: I got up at 8 am this morning, which I never do on a Saturday. But my attitude is it's 11 am somewhere, and that means somewhere out there, large sweaty hockey players are on the ice. And that's reason enough. Game on.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can: Finally memorize the face-off rule, live without shootouts (well, sort of. We'll see. I might need therapy.) and learn what the heck a run-and-gun play is.

Onward with the rule: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.

Hey look, I finally understand what a two way player means: Go ahead. Make fun of me. I'll wait. And while you do that, here's what the CBA says:

9.4, Minor League Compensation. Each SPC entered into with a Rookie in the Entry Level System shall automatically be deemed to be a "two-way" SPC with a minor league salary equal to the Paragraph 1 Minor League Salary set forth in such SPC or, if no minor league salary is set forth, the greater of (i) $35,000 (Native Currency) and (ii) the minimum minor league salary provided for players in the Minors; provided, however, in no event may such an SPC provide for minor league compensation, including any bonuses for games played, greater than the amount indicated on the following chart:
2005: $62,500
2006: 62,500
2007: $65,000
2008: $65,000
2009: $67,500
2010: $67,500
2011: $70,000

Morals of the story:

The game: So the key to making money in the minors is get a second job? Which is probably forbidden somewhere in the CBA. Or give up and get an office job that will shrink your brain and expand your waistline and make you wish you were somewhere else. Ok, never mind, maybe the various indignities of playing in the minors aren't so bad.

Life: It's the hockey version of an HR manual, and it's just as complicated. Somewhere in every company's employee handbook I'm sure it says something similar, only it says something like "you shall work under the supervision of people less competent than yourself and make one-tenth of their salary and like it." What makes a major league player worth more than a minor league scrapper? And what makes VPs and directors more valuable than middle managers? Maybe it's this.... a piece of paper from a fancy school that your daddy bought and you didn't really have to earn. Or how about this...the ability to talk a good game without backing it up and instead delegating other people to do the work that you then take credit for. Alas, like hockey, life is not fair and nowhere is this more evident than the workplace. Therefore, I propose a new policy whereby all employees in every company will make the same salary until they can prove on paper and elsewhere that they deserve more and then and only then will they get a raise. And if they want that corner office, they'll have to first earn it by spending a minimum of five years trapped in a cube so that when said office becomes available they will appreciate it and not abuse it. And anyone who does not appreciate their good fortune will be subject to automatic firing without severance. Now, the only question is...why did I got into communications for a living, instead of HR? Discuss. And stay tuned for this: Article 10, Free Agency.

What, No More Shootouts? Why Go On Living?

2010-09-15T06:51:00.001-07:00

Major bummer alert: The NHL's Board of Governors has approved a new tiebreaker system in which, direct from nhl.com, "the tiebreaker among teams with the same total of points in the standings will go to the club with the most regulation and overtime wins - no longer including shootout wins in the decision." So, refresh me, why would I want to watch a game with no shootouts? I mean, really, why not ban fighting and swearing and just get it over with?" Even Gary Bettman is quoted in that same story as saying that their research overwhelmingly shows that fans like shootouts. Um....then why get rid of them? Chat amongst yourselves and let me know if you figure it out. Because I'm at a loss.

On the other hand: NHL pre-season games get underway on September 21, less than one week away. And I pick up my Portland Winterhawks' season tickets in one week. Shootouts or no, hockey is back on all fronts. I'm recommending my own rule for the 2011 - 2012 season, in which the off season will be reduced to a month. Because three months without live hockey action is three months too long. No research required.

Now, speaking of silly NHL rules: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.

9.3, Entry Level Compensation Limits: The maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be as follows:

Draft Year Compensation
2008 US $875,000
2009 US $900,000
2010 US $900,000
2011 US $925,000

If the NHLPA exercises its right to extend this Agreement until 2012 (which they have), the maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be U.S. $925,000.

Morals of the story:

The game: Dudes, if you make close to a million dollars at the entry level, the least the league can do for the people who pay your salary is let us watch a few shootouts now and again.

Life: If Ilya Kovalchuk and others find $100 million not to their liking, I'll take it. When I was 18, I made $3 an hour at a video store. This got me to thinking, and since we know my thoughts are more entertaining than reality...how do we define our worth in life? By the underpaid salary we earn? By what other people tell us? If companies paid us what we're really worth, they probably couldn't afford to stay in business. If other people had their own sense of self-esteem, they wouldn't need to attack yours. Worth in the NHL is defined by talent, stats, popularity with the media and fans, and the rules in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Therefore, I propose that the federal government introduce a CBA for working class Americans, in which entry level salary is at least six figures and subject to signing bonuses and what not, and in which we have the right to protest anything that infringes upon our rights, well-being, sanity or self-esteem. Hard working Americans are just as deserving of being well-rewarded as hockey players, and if I was queen for a day, we would be.

Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, part 3.

Age Is Just a Number, Unless Your Employer Is the NHL.

2010-09-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

The distraction: Here in Portland, the debacle over the #23 mystery player at our training camp has at last come to an end. The league has sanctioned the team with a fine for essentially hiding a non-drafted, ineligible player in plain sight. It may cost them a draft pick later to boot. Whoever it was and for whatever reason they did it, they obviously thought it was worth it. Enough said. Move on.

Me personally, I'm busy buying fatheads and Center Ice packages and jerseys and what not: I don't have time to give a rip about who he was. But I'm sure one way or another we'll see him down the road, so on with the countdown to the regular season. As of tomorrow, it will be exactly two weeks until the Portland Winterhawks' home opener. And later this month, my new home on Kukla's Korner will be unveiled. So, for me, it's a good season to be a hockey fan.

Of course, that's because I have plenty to distract me from the above mentioned debacle. Like this:

Article 8, Entry Draft: Since the Winterhawks have 13 players off to training camp, it seems appropriate to cover 8.6, Reserve List-Exclusive Rights, b) Drafted Players who leave the Major Juniors prior to age 20.

I hate numbers and love hockey, but alas: This rule is proof that hockey is all about numbers. If a player who is drafted as an 18-year-old ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, his drafting Club shall have the exclusive right of negotiation for his services until the fourth June1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft. But if he's 19 when he's drafted, and ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, the drafting Club only has exclusive negotiating rights until the third June 1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft.

I always wondered about how "hockey age" is defined, so I skipped ahead to this: 8.10, Age of Players. As used in this Article, "age 18" means a Player reaching his 18th birthday between January 1 preceeding the Entry Draft and September 15 next following the Entry Draft, both dates included: "age 19" means a Player reaching his nineteenth birthday by no later than September 15 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 20" means a Player reaching his twentieth birthday by no later than December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 21" means a Player reaching his twenty-first birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft and age "22" means a Player reaching his twenty-second birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft. So, this explains the "late birthday" phenomenon. There, I get it. Now I feel better.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, if you're Sidney Crosby, age 22 is defined as "any player who lifts the Stanley Cup before age 22 in the calendar year in which you won the cup" and thereby becomes the youngest captain to hoist the prized trophy.

Life: I never cared about age until I hit 40 and realized that even boys in their early 20s are young enough to be my son and my body decided that it needed to do things like make my knees hurt while hiking and not be able to read close up. That and this rule got me to thinking: why do we care so much about age? The most awesome things I've ever done with my life happened well after I crossed the 40 threshold and I'm not done yet. But society thinks otherwise. Even late thirties is equated with mid-life crises, divorce, disillusionment and suburban angst. What if we had a rule like this in life, that defined our age to a T? What if 30 was defined as what it is? Old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway. Or if 40 was understood to mean "bring it on." After all, if you make it that far, what else can life do to you? It's like, what else 'ya got for me?

My father used to say "life starts at 40" and now I get it. I may be well past the NHL's draft-eligible hockey age, but in life I'm just getting started. It's not too late until we're dead, and if 40 really is the end of the best years of your life, then why bother? Do I wish I could do a lot of things from my youth over? Of course. Would I go back to my 20s? Absolutely not. It was like being a teenager with credit cards and rent. Total nightmare. So, here's the deal: no, you can't go back in life, but as long as you're still breathing, you can always go forward.

Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.

All Players 18 or Older Are Eligible for NHL Greatness. Sort Of.

2010-09-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

OMG. His deal is the devil: Kovalchuk's annual salary cap hit is going to be $6.66 million.

So I guess this just wouldn't do, then: In Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, players drafted in the 2010 Entry Draft can earn a whole $900,000 a year. But for now, let's find out how you get drafted in the first place:

Article 8, Entry Draft. Tonight, the basics:

8.2, Draft Choices. The Entry Draft shall consist of seven (7) rounds, with each round consisting of the same number of selection choices as there will be Clubs in the NHL the following League Year. Oh. So, this explains why there are 210 picks. Elementary, Dear Samantha. Since there is no hope for me when it comes to numbers, let's see if I can figure these out:

8.4, Eligibility for Claim. (a) All players 18 or older are eligible for claim in the Entry Draft, except:
(i) a Player on the Reserve List of a Club, other than as a try-out;
(ii) a Player who has been claimed in two prior Entry Drafts;
(iii) a Player who previously played in the League and became a Free Agent pursuant to this Agreement;
(iv) a Player age 21 or older who: (A) has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and (B) played hockey for at least one season in North America when he was age 18, 19 or 20 and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant Article 10 (d) and;
(v) a Player age 22 who has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant to Article 10.1 (d).

Morals of the story:

The game: So if players are keeping it simple, as they are wont to do, then I think the rule here is get drafted when you're 18 and proceed immediately to becoming an NHL superstar. But for fans here in Portland, it's a good thing it's not that simple. Two of our best draft picks this year were 20-year old Luke Walker, who went 139th to Colorado, right behind his teammate Troy Rutkowski (137th to the same team) and 19-year-old Riley Boychuk, who went 208th to Buffalo.

Life: What if corporate America had an eligibility claim rule for employees, which consisted of far more than faking your education on a resume and getting a few friends to front being a former boss who loved you, and instead required companies to hire a private investigator to check out why it is you were really let go from that fabulous VP job with a corner office and all the requisite perks? Naturally they would find out that you are a fraud, and instead of promoting employees who talk a good game without knowing how to play it, companies everywhere would be filled with happy, morally sound people who love what they do and get more done because of it. Oh right, this is America. Where, like hockey, it's not fair. And where the right thing is easier said than done. Wall Street and Toyota and BP have shown us that the easy way may last for a while, but it doesn't last forever and it's never the right way. To prevent said debacles, I say we take our cue from hockey players...keep it simple, put the pucks on net and stay out of the penalty box.

Next up: Cotinuing onward with Article 8, Entry Draft.

From Time to Time, the NHL Will Allow Players to Negotiate Their Own Deals.

2010-09-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

The distraction: Keeping track of the 10-plus Portland Winterhawk draftees who are off to NHL training camps this week.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 5, Management Rights. Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.

Refresh me, who exactly is in charge here?: Article 5, Management Rights. Each Club and, where appropriate, the League, in exercise of its functions of management, shall in addition to its other inherent and legal rights to manage its business, including the direction and control of its team, have the right at any time and from time to time to determine when, where, how and under what circumstances it wishes to operate, suspend, discontinue, sell or move and to determine the manner and the rules by which its team shall play hockey. Nothing in this article shall, however, authorize a Club or the League to violate any provision of this Agreement or of any SPC.

Pretty standard stuff, except for 6.2: Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification. 6.1. Among the provisions in this section: The Clubs may not engage in negotiations for a Player's SPC (standard player contract) with any person other than the Player or an agent certified by the NHLPA ("Certified Agent"). Which is restated in 6.2, Player SPCs. No Club shall enter into a Player SPC with any Player, and the NHL shall not register or approve any SPC unless such Player: (i) was represented in the negotiations by a Certified Agent or (ii) if Player has no Certified Agent, acts on his own behalf in negotiating such SPC.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, how is "time to time" defined, exactly? When the team feels like, say, circumventing rules and paying players more money than God for longer than they'll even be playing in the League? I know. One day I will get over it. Today is not that day. Now, if only he'd acted on his own behalf and didn't have an agent who saw a 20 - 30 percent commission in that ridiculous agreement...

Life: We need Standard Employee Contracts and Certified Agents in corporate America. Only in my collective bargaining agreement, no employee will be permitted to negotiate their own deal because clearly we already do that and we get screwed. We definitely need agents and there definitely need to be some minimum requirements, like say.... 4 weeks paid vacation, immediate firing of bosses who are less qualified than we are for our jobs and permission to hang up on any customer who commits the life version of "Abuse of Officials."

Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Skipping Ahead to Article 8, Entry Draft.

Gotta Keep It Simple if You're Going to Cut an Outrageous NHL Salary Deal.

2010-09-04T10:57:00.001-07:00

The distraction: Keeping track of how the Portland Winterhawks are doing at the pre-season tournament Everett. It's looking good so far. We cooked archrival Seattle 4 - 1 on Friday.

And this, at last: Kovalchuk has made his deal with the Devils, and all inquiries into similar deals have been halted.

Oh the horror of making more money in 15 years than most people will make in their whole lives: The deal is reportedly for $100 million and 15 years, instead of the original $102 million over 17 years. 2 years and $2 million is all it took. And he still makes more money than God at the end of the day. Oh, the tragedy of having to settle for second best.

The article: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off.

I thought it was some kind of list, but oh no, not the NHL. It can't be that simple now can it?: 4.2, Check-Off. Each Club will deduct from the Paragraph 1 Salary of each Player who voluntarily authorizes and directs such deduction in accordance with this article, an amount shall be deducted from the Player's Paragraph 1 NHL Salary on a monthly basis and shall be remitted by the Club to the NHLPA. The NHLPA shall advise each Club in writing as to the amount to be deducted for each deduction period. Each such authorization by a Player shall be in writing in the form attached hereto as Exhibit 2, and shall be governed by the provisions hereof.

Morals of the story:

The game: It's like tax deductions for players. I wonder what Kovalchuk's deduction will be for his shiny new deal? It should be like taxes in that the more you make, the more they take. So he could fund his membership in the NHLPA and that of all of his teammates for what, say...the next 20 years?

Life: You see how these rules are written, and it's no wonder players get duped by agents and managers and the NHL when it comes to their money, and they end up with nothing even though they made enough in one year to live on forever. It's a lot like life. We complicate it more than we need to. Whether it be the rules that tell us what we owe in taxes, how our company tells us we must do business or how many cell phone minutes we get each month, it's all way more tangled up than it needs to be. That's why my favorite hockey quote cliche is "we just gotta keep it simple and play our game." We have to, but why don't we? With training camps around the corner, I say we treat the start of the season like a New Year's resolution. Top of my list this year is "keep it simple."

Next up on 9/5: Article 5, Management Rights and Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.

I Recognize That I Need to Get Myself a Better Deal.

2010-09-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

I'm tired already: I think I understand now why there are still free agents on the market with only a month to go until the regular season. Because this agreement makes it impossible to make a move without at least 10 people getting involved in a player signing a contract. Because all parties are protected by the same agreement. And because a whole lotta lawyers needed jobs.

The rules: Article 2, Recognition.

2.1, Recognition: The NHL recognizes the NHLPA as the exclusive bargaining representative of all present and future Players employed as such in the League by the Clubs, but not including any other Club employees. The NHL and NHLPA agree that notwithstanding the foregoing, and to the extent consistent with this Agreement, such Players, acting individually or through Certified Agents, and Clubs may, on an individual basis, bargain with respect to and agree upon an individual Player Salary and Bonuses over and above the minimum requirements established herein and other provisions that are not inconsistent with the terms of the Agreement.

I love this part: "Acting individually." How exactly does a humble hockey player who skipped law and/or business school in favor of sport act individually when this 475-page, legal-speak document is in his way?

3.2, Binding Agreement: This Agreement shall be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the NHL, the Clubs, the NHLPA and all Players, and their respective successors or assigns.

Morals of the story:

The game: Ok, I can't help it. It's late on a Wednesday: Does the "over and above" part include Kovalchuk's deal with the Devils? There I said it. Now I feel better.

Life: Maybe if I'd had an entourage of lawyers, managers, agents and assorted others working for me, I would have negotiated myself a better deal in terms of salary and career. I thought I was doing alright, but I see this and I think you know, we really should have a collective bargaining agreement in life. If us humble peons don't agree to the paltry working-class salary that we get offered by corporate America, our employers should be bound by law to come to a more agreeable arrangement, like say, four weeks' vacation and guaranteed bonuses twice a year, at a minimum. Hey, it works for hockey players, why not for fans?

Next up on 9/3: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off. Article 5, Management Rights.

Now, Back to our Regularly Scheduled Hockey Lesson

2010-08-31T15:28:00.000-07:00

The distraction: The NHLPA's collective bargaining agreement.

Why I chose it: Because I want to know exactly how someone like Lou Lamoriello thought he could route around it. And for that matter, why all the other long-term deals out there were allowed to go down virtually undetected by the NHL's radar.

Perhaps I'll just read the CliffsNotes: This one might take a while: It's 475 pages and 50 sections long.

So let's start at the beginning. A very good place to start: Yes, I love "The Sound of Music." Get over it. Now, to the agreement: Article 1, Definitions.

If the "League Year" Starts in July, why can't hockey just keep going after June?: The "League Year" means the period of July 1 of one calendar year and including June 30 of the following calendar year or such other one year period to which the NHL and NHLPA may agree.

For all those players living in sin with models, actresses and country singers: "Living Companion" the criteria for Living Companion status is as follows: a) the persons are not related by blood, b) neither person is married, c) the persons share a primary residence, d) the persons have been living together for at least six months, and e) the persons are at least 18 years of age.

A little kibble for all of us living in junior hockey towns: "Major Juniors" or "Juniors" means the Canadian Hockey League, including the Western Hockey League, Ontario Hockey League, and the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League.

Go and be free. Sort of:

"Free agent" means a Restricted Free Agent and/or an Unrestricted Free Agent.

"Restricted free agent" means a player whose standard player contract (SPC) has expired, but who is still subject to a Right of First Refusal and/or Draft Choice Compensation in favor of his prior club as described in Article 10 of this Agreement.

"Unrestricted Free Agent" means a player who a) has either never signed an SPC or whose SPC has expired, or has been terminated or bought out by a Club; and b) who otherwise is not subject to any exclusive negotiating rights, Right of First Refusal, or Draft Choice Compensation in favor of any Club (including, without limitation, Players who referred to in Section 10.1 or 10.2(a)(iv) of this Agreement or a Player who becomes an Unrestricted Free Agent as a result of the Club exercising its walkaway rights under Article 12 of this agreement.)

Morals of the story:

The game: I think I see now why players need an entourage just to get to the rink. No wonder the "League Year" goes all year instead of just the regular and playoff season. The well-oiled machine that is the collective bargaining agreement never sleeps and I'm guessing, neither do its enforcers.

Life: In corporate America, unrestricted free agents are pretty much CEOs who just get to run a company into the ground until it spills oil into the world's oceans for the next 5 decades or leaves miners in a small hole for six months at a time. And the rest of us restricted free agents sort of have freedom in terms of when we go to lunch, and getting vacation now and again. But like this agreement, none of us are really free, are we?

I want to be an unrestricted free agent, and not be subject to negotiating rights over my salary, the size of my office or termination if I don't follow company rules. And under my leadership, we'd all leave at 3 every day to make it home in time to watch the East Coast games that start at 4 Pacific on Center Ice, and have offices big enough to accomodate our fatheads and bobblehead collections and a small mini-bar to keep the beer chilled. Anyone who decides they want to work until 5 and sit in gridlock for two hours will be subject to penalties as outlined in the company manual, including but not limited to termination for being a hockey non-appreciator and suspension without pay so you can go home and get properly acquainted with the sport before returning to paid, active duty.

Next up on 9/1: Article 2, Recognition. Article 3, Duration of Agreement.

Even if You're Not From Portland, You Might Want to Check Us Out

2010-08-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

The distractions: Covering the Neely Cup from Portland Winterhawks' training camp this weekend. The results can be found here if you're looking for some kibbles to tide you over until this blog returns to its regularly scheduled programming: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

And this: On Monday, I'll be posting an introductory sampling on my new home at Kukla's Korner. That takes place in about another 2 - 3 weeks, so there will be more details on that later.

And, of course, they're connected: It is me after all. I'll find a way to put two separate things about hockey together. To qualify as part of Paul Kukla's umbrella of bloggers, he asked all of us to post on his members' blog. For mine, I chose as my subject a little mini-draftee watch and a tribute to Ryan and Nino and all our Portland Winterhawks' draftees. You can check it out here:
http://tinyurl.com/29ejvay

And if you found this blog through oregonlive: Put Portland Winterhawks into the search bar for plenty of archival Hawks material to tide you over until I post something new here on Tuesday.

Next up: Back to our regularly scheduled programming on Tuesday with the collective bargaining agreement.

What's the Signal for We're Finished?

2010-08-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

All good things must end: Like the IIHF Rulebook, which I conclude tonight with Referee's and Linesman's signals.

Ok, so now what?: A new home for this blog on Kukla's Korner this fall. And of course, my new all-Winterhawks, all the time blog on oregonlive.com/hawks. Plenty to keep me out of trouble.

But for now: It's on to the NHL's collective bargaining agreement. After we tackle this:

The rule: Annex 4, Duties of the Officials. Referee's Signals. Linesman's Signals.

Some of these make sense: Like elbowing (tapping either elbow with the opposite hand), holding (grasping either wrist with the other hand in front of the chest) and kneeing (tapping either knee with the palm of the hand, while keeping both skates on the ice).

But I want to know how much wine the proper authorities were drinking when they came up with this one: Match Penalty - Rule 507. Patting the palm of the hand on top of the head. Do they have to to rub their stomach at the same time?

And of course, since we all know how much I love and hate the icing rule, there's this: Icing the Puck - Rule 460. The back Linesman (or Referee in the Two Official System) signals a possible icing, by fully extending either arm over his head. The arm shall remain raised until the front Linesman or Referee, either blows the whistle to indicate an icing, or until the icing is washed out. Once the icing has been completed, the back Linesman or Referee shall first cross his arms in front of the chest and then shall point to the appropriate face-off spot and skate to it.

Morals of the story:

The game: Like the job itself, the Linesman's signals are way more complicated, and dependent on one of the other officials. Somebody give these guys a break. Either the player iced the puck or he didn't. Why wait for someone else to tell you they did?

Life: Linesmen are like the vice presidents of companies. They get a lot of power, but it means working way harder than the prez and they are beholden to the big cheese to make the final decisions on things. There should be signals for VPs that they could use in meetings or other events where they've had enough of playing second banana to the bigger monkeys. Such as:

-- Hold left palm down towards ground and push fingertips of other hand upwards into palm repeatedly to indicate "you are an ass and nobody is listening to what you are saying."

-- Hold index finger to head in motion that mimics a gun being held up to your head to indicate that the death by powerpoint is really killing people and must be stopped to avoid any further harm to employees.

-- Run hand across neck repeatedly to indicate that the idea the president is about to present is a bad one that will cost the company millions of dollars, result in a PR nightmare and prompt the board to vote him off the corporate island.

Next up: The NHL's collective bargaining agreement.

All Parents Shall Automatically Qualify for a Job as a Penalty Bench Attendant.

2010-08-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

The distraction: Off to the Portland Winterhawks' press conference we go to meet the team's 2010 NHL Draftees, coach Mike Johnston and mingle with fans. On tap: where Nino came up with "I just want to be drafted higher than 14," what Nino and Luke Walker think of the talk that they will go into the NHL early this season and a chat with defenseman Taylor Aronson. Check out www.oregonlive.com/hawks on Wednesday morning for the results.

And at last, let there be light: This weekend as part of training camp, the Portland Winterhawks will be participating in the Neely Cup. Yes, my friends, for four days straight there will be some form of hockey played in Portland by future NHL stars. And it's free. Hallelujah, praise whatever and let the games begin.

But first, the rule: Annex 5, Duties of the Officials. Rule A4.25, Announcer's Duties. Rule A4.26, Penalty Bench Attendant's Duties.

A4.25: The announcer shall announce by means of a public address system the: awarding of goals and assists, penalties, end of penalties, when one minute remains in the first and second periods, when two minutes remain in the third period.

A4.26: The Penalty Bench Attendant is responsible for
1) Providing a penalized player, upon request, with the correct information as to the unexpired time of the penalty.
2) Allowing the penalized player to return to the ice at the appropriate time upon the completion of the penalty.
3) Notifying the Scorekeeper if a player leaves the penalty bench before the end of the penalty.

Morals of the story:

The game: Why only minute in the first and second, and two in the third? A last ditch effort to say, hey, if you didn't get it together by now, these two minutes are your last chance? Discuss. Also, notify the Scorekeeper? What's he going to do about it, other than record it on the official score sheet that a penalty wasn't served in its entirety? That's like the police in England, who back in the day didn't carry weapons and Robin Williams made fun of it, saying "what are they going to do...stop! Or I'll say stop again!

Life: If you are a parent, you qualify for the job of Penalty Bench Attendant. If your little whippersnapper asks if they can come out of their time out, you simply tell them no, 5 more minutes, junior. And when they do, it's at your mercy that they can return to their regularly scheduled misbehaving and ignoring everything you tell them. And finally, you can also notify the other "Scorekeeper" if one of the little buggers tries to escape the time out, so he or she can corral them and return them to their little corner. If you are a parent and looking to make a career change, then this is the job for you.

Next up on 8/25: Annex 5, Illustration of Goal Frame. And Referee's Signals. And with that boys and girls, we will be officially done with the IIHF Rulebook.

Hybrid Icing = Don't Even Think About Chasing The Puck.

2010-08-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

The distraction: The new hybrid icing rule under debate at the NHL's research and development camp.

Why I'm distracted by it: I think I might finally understand icing. And why this rule is so important. Normally, icing is called when a team shoots the puck from beyond the red line into the attacking zone and it crosses the goal line untouched. But this also triggers a an injury-inducing, frenetic scramble to get to the puck first. Hybrid icing is a mix of touch and no-touch icing.

It's kind of like probable cause in the law books: The linesman could blow his whistle if he believes a defending player will reach the puck first. If he thinks the attacking player will get there first, he holds the whistle and lets the play continue. The linesman will always side with the defending player if he thinks there will be a tie when both players get there.

In other words: Safety first for the defensemen, who become a target when trying to chase down the puck.

Personally, I like it: But then again, I'm still trying to understand it.

Speaking of rules: Annex 4, Duties of the Officials. A4.24, Timekeeper's Duties.

A4.24.a: The Timekeeper shall record:
1. Game countdown before the game.
2. Time of starting and finishing of each period and game.
3. 15 minute intermission between each period.
4. All actual playing time during the game.
5. Time of the start and finish of all penalties.
6. Start and finish of time-outs.

And of course: Let's say it all together now...In the event of any dispute regarding time, the Referee's decision shall be final.

Morals of the story:

The game: Timekeepers are like the accountants of hockey. They track every last minute of every last play, penalty and break. We all know that companies live and die by their bottom line and just the way number crunchers keep corporate America running, timekeepers keep a game running. Unless, of course, the Referee decides otherwise.

Life: We all know life is far too short and every minute is too valuable to waste it, but we do. But what if every minute of everything we did in life was recorded and provided to the proper authorities on an official Game Sheet? Would we spend whole days sitting on the couch watching reality reruns? Would we say "Maybe someday" or "I'll do that tomorrow?" I'm guessing not. If someone kept track of my every minute, for example, I guarantee I'd spend a lot more time in the gym, a lot less time making paper clip forts during boring conference calls and a lot less time driving through the Sonic burger window at midnight.

Next up: Annex 4, Duties of the Officials. A4.25, Announcer's Duties. A4.26, Penalty Bench Attendant's Duties.

The Rulebook End Is Nigh...Now What?

2010-08-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

The distraction/shameless self-promotion: My new all-Portland Winterhawks blog at oregonlive.com. You can check it out here: http://www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

All good things must come to an end: Like the IIHF Rulebook. I should be done with it this weekend. Have no fear, it's on to the NHL's Collective Bargaining Agreement. And this fall, a new home for this blog on Kukla's Korner. More on that in coming weeks.

The rule: Annex 5, Duties of the Officials. Rule A4.21, Scorekeeper's Duties Before the Game. A 4.22, Scorekeeper's Duties During the Game. A4.23, Scorekeeper's Duties After the Game.

A4.21: The scorekeeper must obtain from the Manager or Coach of both teams a list of all eligible players, including their name, position and number, as well as all data concerning the game.

A4.22: The scorekeeper records on the official game sheet the following: goals, number of scorers and players to whom assists are awarded, players on the ice when a goal is scored, penalties, penalty shot, name of player who took the penalty shot and result of the penalty shot and time of entry into the game of a substitute goalkeeper. He is also responsible for correct posting of goals and penalties on the scoreboard, ensuring that time served for penalties is correct, advising the Referee when the same player has received his second misconduct penalty in the same game, and notifying the Referee if a player not on the Official Game Sheet is participating in the game.

A4.23: The scorekeeper prepares the Official Game Sheet for signature by the Referee and forward it to the Proper Authorities.

Morals of the story:

The game: Is there anything the scorekeeper doesn't do? Maybe if you pay him a bonus he'll make coffee and hot chocolate for everybody before the game too.

Life: Scorekeepers in hockey are a lot like accountants and project managers and administrative assistants in Corporate America. They keep track of everything and run the company, while the boss gets his name on the scoreboard. And the reward is the same too: zero, except for maybe a thanks from the boss for keeping everybody in line. There should be a reward-based rule for life's scorekeepers, in which they get a small treat in the form of their favorite snack or beverage every time they properly record and report life's details, followed by a large meal (with wine, of course) when they turn in the scoresheet to the proper authorities. Of course, I've never advanced past middle management either, so perhaps my theories shouldn't be trusted. But still, if I were queen, the work day would be 6 hours long, we'd all eat chocolate around 3 everyday and all employees who live to work and never enjoy a treat would be immediately fired.

Next up: Annex 5, Duties of the Officials. A4.25, Timekeeper's Duties.

Referee Shall Report and Impose Penalties, Unless I Have a Crush on Him.

2010-08-16T20:44:00.001-07:00

The distraction: Watching reruns of "Haven" on SyFy and wondering what it would be like to live in the idyllic Nova Scotia town where it's filmed. And Sidney Crosby is from there, so perhaps I will uproot my life and move to the other side of the world....you get the idea. This is why the hockey off-season should end, like, right now.

But not to fear: Next week commences the opening of the Portland Winterhawks' training camp and my own little "30 in 30" counting down to our opening night on Sept. 27. What 30 in 30 will be about, no clue. But I'll figure it out. And I'm pretty sure it will involve player profiles, playoff predictions and whether or not Nino will be present and accounted for on his bobblehead night.

The rule: Annex 4, Duties of the Officials.

The quirk: The book lists as a title A4.20, Off-Ice Officials, but there's nothing underneath it. Like say, a list of who qualifies as an off-ice official.

But really, here's the most important rule of any game: A4.10, Two Official System - Referees' Duties During the Game. Among their tasks:

The Referees shall impose and report to the Scorekeeper such penalties as described by the playing rules for infractions thereof.
They shall stop play for any other infractions to the rules.
They shall allow the goals scored.
They shall cause to be announced over the public address system the reason for not allowing a goal.
They shall face-off the puck at any stoppage of play.

Morals of the story:

The game: So basically, the Ref does everything except play, announce things and keep score of the game. We sit there in our stadium seats with our beer and our food that isn't in that little food pyramid you learn about in school and we judge whether a Ref has done his job. Me personally, the next time I see a bad call I'm letting it go. The Refs have a lot of power, but they also have a lot of responsibility and if they're wrong, nobody lets them forget it. Of course, if the Ref making the bad call is cutie pie WHL Ref/corporate lawyer Matt Kirk, then I might have to re-think a few things. Because there's no excuse for cute Canadian boys with law degrees making bad calls.

Life: Being a Ref or a linesman is a lot like being a parent. Not that I'd know, because I don't have any. But still, I see the family units out and about and I have come to the conclusion that parenting and Reffing are basically the same thing. You have to render discipline when maybe you don't want to because that dude on the other team deserved that hit after all, but it's not ok to let it go and sanction violence. You have to punish repeat offenders like Daniel Carcillo and it still doesn't do any good because they still don't listen to you. You have to make sure everybody's in their places at opening face-off and all equipment is within regulation standards, not unlike dressing little whippersnappers and making sure they are in their appointed car safety seat for transport to the school. And really, parents don't get any more reward than Refs, except for a handmade card on some fabricated Hallmark holiday, and an occasional thanks if you're lucky.

I'm not a parent, but if I were in charge, I'd make recognition and understanding of the sacrifices parents make for us mandatory for all children by age 10 and if they haven't figured it out by then, then parents should feel no guilt about leaving the little buggers to fend for themselves until they do. Nothing extreme mind you, like leaving them on the street and what not. Just something minor, like no texting friends on the Hello Kitty phone and no Netflix and no computer time. In today's day and age, guaranteed they'll cave and learn to appreciate in about...oh.....three minutes.

Next up on 8/17: Annex 4, Duties of the Officials. Scorekeeper's duties.