Day 14, Rule 14

The games: Washington Capitals vs. New York Rangers and Carolina vs. Montreal.

Why I chose them: Alex Ovechkin is back and I'm trying relearn French. I could take a class, but why bother when the Montreal game is broadcast en Francais?

My peeve: Critics are ripping my favorite honkin' tall French hockey captain (see previous entries) and calling out the fact that he's been moved to a fourth line. Me personally...if I'd been drafted in the first round, granted Captaincy at 19, stripped of it, gotten it back, won a Stanley Cup, survived John Tortorella and the lockout, only to come in dead last in my division a few years later and topped it off with surgery that ended my 2009 season, I'd give up, move to a cave with a Costco sized supply of wine, peanut butter and Oreos and never come out again.

This is America, world capital of the comeback. Which unless I missed a memo is underway - check the replay of the Tampa Bay/Phoenix game last night. Or, if you're also out there relearning French, Avancer, mes amis.

The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 14, Adjustment to Clothing or Equipment.

Number of sections in the rule: 1.

Definition: This rule basically states that if you need to adjust your uniform or equipment during a game you need to either leave the game or get over it. And don't even THINK about delaying the game with it. Not allowed and not tolerated. There's not even a penalty - it's like the "don't even go there" rule. They won't even bother with your weenie ass.

My favorite highlights: 14.1, Adjustment to Clothing or Equipment. Play shall not be stopped nor the game delayed by reasons of adjustments to clothing, equipment, skates or sticks. The onus of maintaining clothing and equipment shall be upon the player. If adjustments are required, the player shall leave the ice and play shall continue with a substitute.

The final scores: Washington 4, New York 2. Montreal 3, Carolina 2 (SO).

Number of times rule violated: No one left the game with a wedgie during a power play, so I'm going with 0.

Morals of the story:

The game: Wedgies aside, this rule is all about personal responsbility. So much so that's it's just expected you'll follow the rule. There's no penalty - you just have to leave. Gone. Poof. In the wind. There's not a lot to go on here, so I'm assuming this is for major adjustments like something coming untied or unstrapped or protective gear that needs fixing. Which is no big deal if it's early in the season and it's the first period and you're up by 2 goals. But what if it's game 7 of the finals and you're tied at 3 with two minutes to go? Adjusting our clothing is something simple we all do everyday, but if hockey players have to do this at the wrong moment during a crucial game they're toast.

Life: If this rule existed in life, I'd have to leave the game every three seconds. I'd get no ice time. I was just never one of those women who had it together. My hair is forever out of place. My shoes slip off my heel because I have wide toes and skinny ankles. My long rain coat is forever getting caught on the heel of my boots. By the time I got off my 20-minute bus ride this morning, I'd adjusted my pearl necklace, fiddled with my bra straps and pulled up my knee high pantyhose at least 15 times. It's a good thing there's no delay of game in life either, because I'd never get out of the house.

Next up on 11/19: Section 4, Types of Penalties. Rule 15, Calling of Penalties.