Gotta Keep It Simple if You're Going to Cut an Outrageous NHL Salary Deal.

The distraction: Keeping track of how the Portland Winterhawks are doing at the pre-season tournament Everett. It's looking good so far. We cooked archrival Seattle 4 - 1 on Friday.

And this, at last: Kovalchuk has made his deal with the Devils, and all inquiries into similar deals have been halted.

Oh the horror of making more money in 15 years than most people will make in their whole lives: The deal is reportedly for $100 million and 15 years, instead of the original $102 million over 17 years. 2 years and $2 million is all it took. And he still makes more money than God at the end of the day. Oh, the tragedy of having to settle for second best.

The article: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off.

I thought it was some kind of list, but oh no, not the NHL. It can't be that simple now can it?: 4.2, Check-Off. Each Club will deduct from the Paragraph 1 Salary of each Player who voluntarily authorizes and directs such deduction in accordance with this article, an amount shall be deducted from the Player's Paragraph 1 NHL Salary on a monthly basis and shall be remitted by the Club to the NHLPA. The NHLPA shall advise each Club in writing as to the amount to be deducted for each deduction period. Each such authorization by a Player shall be in writing in the form attached hereto as Exhibit 2, and shall be governed by the provisions hereof.

Morals of the story:

The game: It's like tax deductions for players. I wonder what Kovalchuk's deduction will be for his shiny new deal? It should be like taxes in that the more you make, the more they take. So he could fund his membership in the NHLPA and that of all of his teammates for what, say...the next 20 years?

Life: You see how these rules are written, and it's no wonder players get duped by agents and managers and the NHL when it comes to their money, and they end up with nothing even though they made enough in one year to live on forever. It's a lot like life. We complicate it more than we need to. Whether it be the rules that tell us what we owe in taxes, how our company tells us we must do business or how many cell phone minutes we get each month, it's all way more tangled up than it needs to be. That's why my favorite hockey quote cliche is "we just gotta keep it simple and play our game." We have to, but why don't we? With training camps around the corner, I say we treat the start of the season like a New Year's resolution. Top of my list this year is "keep it simple."

Next up on 9/5: Article 5, Management Rights and Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.