And That's What You Get for Slashing the Winterhawk Who's Still Out There.

The news: Mike Cammalleri has been suspended one game for slashing Nino Niederreiter in a game against the Islanders. That means he'll be missing the Canadiens' season opener. Here in Portland broadcaster Andy Kemper is known for saying "you don't mess with the Johan" whenever Nino's linemate and fellow top NHL draft pick Ryan Johansen makes a sick move out there. And you don't mess with the Nino either.

A fitting opportunity to skip ahead to this rule: 18.3, Procedures for Standard On-Ice Discipline. Notwithstanding anything stated in Article 17 (Grievances) hereof, all disputes involving a suspension imposed upon a Player by the commissioner (or his designee) for conduct on the ice will be processed exclusively as follows unless the procedures of Article 18.4 are applicable.

(b) For the purpose of calculating salary lost due to suspension, the following formula will apply:

(i) For first offenders (first incident requiring supplementary discipline in the form of game suspension) Player to forfeit one day's Paragraph 1 Salary and Bonuses, but not including Performance Bonuses, for each Regular Season lost (1/total number of days in the Regular Season measured from the date of the League's first Regular Season Game to the last, irrespective of the Player's team schedule).

In addition to his suspension, Mike Cammalleri will forfeit $32,258.06. Which means that's what he makes in a day. Oh, and also: there is a Rule in the CBA specifically titled "No Circumvention." (Article 26).

Morals of the story:

The game: Dude, don't mess with Portland's prized draft possessions.

Life: It took me several years of hard work straight out of college to make that much money in a year. Where did I go wrong? I think somewhere between honor society in junior high and dropping out during a semester of my junior year in college, the truth lies. 20 years out of college, I am very privileged to be among Portland's small but mighty media that covers the Winterhawks. It may have taken a while, but one way or another I got here. I didn't go wrong, really, the path was just a little more crooked than the one NHL superstars take to the top. But if I had tried to do any of this when I was in my twenties, it would have flopped. So everything does happen for a reason, and at the time it's supposed to happen. I'm sure the young Winterhawks players I interview for my oregonlive blog see me at practice or in the locker room and are no doubt like, "who is that and what is she doing down here?" But the very coolest thing ever happened the other night when a few of the players just walked by me and said "hey Sam" or said hello while I was interviewing our new Nino -- 18-year-old- get-ready-NHL-he's-coming-your-way -- Sven Bartschi, about where to find good burritos in Portland. It's a long way to the top, and sometimes the top is the basement of the Rose Garden on a Sunday night. But I found it, one way or another. And it's easier than you think. I'm a humble hockey fan from Portland. If I can, anyone can.

Next up: Oh right, back to topic with the definition of a "defected player."