The game: Pittsburgh vs. Washington, Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle Thunderbirds (WHL).
Why I chose them: Dude, it's Ovechkin vs. Crosby. Duh. Ditto for the Hawks vs. the Birds.
The quirk: Portland beat Seattle by the same score (6- 3) on Friday and Saturday. Onward to Tri-City Americans on Wednesday. Repeat after me: Tri-City Americans are TOAST.
Future NHL stars you should pay attention to now: The Nino-Johansen-Ross line. We are privileged in Portland to have not only all three of these very special players on our team, but all in one line to boot. They are all draft eligible this year and just returned from the NHL prospects game. If you live in Portland, check it out while you can. You won't be disappointed. I may not have known what icing was (see below), but I do know beauty when I see it.
Why: Check out NHL.com's archives or the Winterhawks' web site for Nino's one-handed breakaway goal from the prospects game, where he threw his glove off right before he scored with the greatest of ease. It's like watching women in the mall when they hand the purse to their husband and go "here honey, hold my purse while I try this on." Only in this case it was like "here, hold my glove while I go score."
The rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 81, Icing. Rule 82, Line Changes.
Number of sections in the rules: 6 (Rule 81). 3 (Rule 82).
Ok, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. Here's what I thought icing was: When players moving at a high speed stop in such a way that they pile up snow on the puck so play has to be stopped. Really. Don't ask me where I got the idea...I don't even know. There. I said it. Now I feel better. Go ahead roll off the couch laughing. I'll wait.
So, here's what it really is: 81.1, Icing. For the purpose of this rule, the red center line shall divide the ice into halves. Should any player of a team, equal or superior in numerical strength (power-play) to the opposing team, shoot, bat or deflect the puck from his own half of the ice beyond the goal line of the opposing team, play shall be stopped. For the purpose of deflected pucks, this only applies when the puck was originally propelled down the ice by the offending team. For the purpose of this rule, the point of last contact with the puck by the team in possession shall be used to determine whether icing has occurred or not. As such, the team in possession must "gain the line" in order for the icing to be nullified. "Gaining the line" shall mean that the puck, while on the player's stick (not the player's skate) must make contact with the center red line in order to nullify a potential icing.
Line change, 82.1. Following the stoppage of play, the visiting team shall promptly place a line-up on the ice ready for play and no substitution shall be made from that time until play has resumed. The home team may then make any desired substitution except in cases following in icing, which does not result in the delay of the game. In case you think the visitors get the advantage by going first: the visiting team gets five seconds to make their line change and the home team gets eight seconds.
My favorite highlights: From the second half of 81.1, Icing. For the purpose of interpretation of the rule, "icing the puck" is completed the instant the puck is touched first by a defending player (other than the goalkeeper) after it has crossed the goal line and if in the action of so touching the puck, it is knocked or deflected into the net, it is no goal. Icing is not permitted when you are short-handed. It's also waved off if the linesman thinks a player on the opposing team could have played the puck before it crossed the goal line.
This I have to see: 81.3, Goalkeeper. If, in the opinion of the Linesman, the goalkeeper feigns playing the puck, or skates in the direction of the puck on an icing at any time, the potential icing shall not be called and play shall continue.
Just say no: 81.5, No Icing. If the puck touches any part of a player of the opposing side, including his skates or his stick, or if it touches any part of the opposing team's goalkeeper, including his skates or his stick, at any time before or after crossing the goal line, it shall not be considered icing.
The final score: Washington 5, Pittsburgh 4 in OT.
Morals of the story:
The game: If you're reading this and have free time on your hands, could someone please explain to me how a goaltender feigns playing the puck? A YouTube video will do. This is right up there with refs drawing an imaginary line to measure sticks for regulation length and width. But I see now why teams ice the puck and why the NHL made it a rule - it's a delay tactic or a sheer defensive move against a team that's stronger. So, at least I was right about the delay part.
Also, I have decided to coin what I call a "hockey minute." Three seconds isn't a lot to you and me, but to the home team it's enough to see who's out on the opposing team's line change so you can put the right one out to match them.
And it's more than enough to score a goal. Like here in Portland at this year's Dash for Cash. People were already leaving their seats because we were down by one to Seattle with less than 2 seconds to go. But thanks to a timekeeping-related detail, we got a second or so put back on the clock and Chris Francis tipped in the game-tying goal on a face-off. It was also a hat trick for him, and he scored the winning shoot-out goal. Now you see why we've beaten Seattle in 10 straight games: after that, anything is possible. And anything can happen in a hockey minute.
Life: There's one huge way in which we ice the puck in life: we go into debt to pay for things we can't afford right now. We buy it with plastic or a loan and pay it off later. We created our own monster by allowing cultural values to prevail that equate material worth with self-worth. We don't feel accomplished or important if we're not carrying the latest electronic toy or installing the fancy GPS/coffee-maker in our $80,000 Lexus. And God help you if you still listen to CDs on a Walkman. Here's the thing: I listen to CDs on a Walkman, I wouldn't know how to use the camera on my cell phone if you put a gun to my head, and I only just this past year bought a flat-screen TV. I couldn't care less about owning a lot of material things and my idea of financial freedom is not owing anyone anything.
I shouldn't be that hard to spot around Portland: if you see a geeky 40-something woman on the treadmill at 24-Hour Fitness with a Walkman and huge honkin' earphones watching the NHL highlights on ESPN, it's a good bet it's me.
Bottom line: Icing the puck is a penalty for a reason in hockey and it should be penalized in life to save us from ourselves. Better yet, prevent yourself from committing the foul in the first place. Next time you're tempted to buy a large piece of technology you probably don't need on a credit card with 15 percent interest, stop by the downtown 24-Hour Fitness or ping this blog. I'll be happy to talk you off the ledge.
Next up on 2/9: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 83, Off-side. Rule 84, Overtime.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Day 79, Rules 79 and 80
The games: Tampa Bay vs. Calgary, Rangers vs. Jersey, and Portland Winterhawks vs. Seattle (WHL).
Why I chose them: It's hockey night in Portland in my humble abode. I'm watching the honkin' tall French captain in OT and I'll momentarily be listening to Andy Kemper's broadcast of the Seattle game.
I learned to skate today: And I didn't fall down or run into anyone or anything. I've never skated before in my life, unless you factor in countless weekends rollerskating on a Sunday afternoon in the 70s. It's the most fun I've had on a sleep-deprived Saturday afternoon in a long time.
The rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 79, Hand Pass. Rule 80, High-sticking the Puck.
Number of sections in the rules: 3 (Rule 79). 4 (Rule 80).
Definitions: 79.1, Hand Pass. A player shall be permitted to stop or "bat" a puck in the air with his open hand, or push it along the ice with his hand, and the play shall not be stopped unless, in the opinion of the on-ice officials, he has directed the puck to a teammate, or has allowed his team to gain an advantage, and subsequently possession and control of the puck is obtained by a player of the offending team, either directly or deflected off any player or official. A player shall be permitted to catch the puck out of the air but must immediately place it or knock it down to the ice. If he catches it and skates with it, either to avoid a check or to gain a territorial advantage over his opponent, a minor penalty shall be assessed for "closing his hand on the puck" under Rule 67, Handling the Puck.
80.1, High-sticking the Puck. Batting the puck above the normal height of the shoulders with a stick is prohibited. When a puck is struck with a high stick and subsequently comes into the possession and control of a player from the offending team (including the player who made contact with the puck), either directly or deflected off any player or official, there shall be a whistle.
Finally, I'm getting why there are nine face-off circles: 79.3, Face-off location. When a hand pass violation has occurred, the ensuing face-off shall take place at the nearest face-off spot in the zone where the offense occurred, unless the offending team gains a territorial advantage, then the face-off shall be at the nearest face-off spot in the zone where the stoppage of play occurred, unless otherwise covered in the rules. For High-sticking the Puck, this takes place at the spot that provides the least amount of territorial advantage to the team striking the puck.
But I'll never be a math major: 80.4, Numerical Advantage. When either team is below the numerical strength (short-handed) of its opponent and a player of the team of greater numerical strength (power-play) causes a stoppage of play by striking the puck with his stick above the height of his shoulder, the resulting face-off shall be made at one of the end zone face-off spots adjacent to the goal of the team causing the stoppage.
The final scores: Tampa Bay 2, Calgary 1 in OT. Rangers 3, Devils 1. Portland vs. Seattle is underway in 25 minutes.
Morals of the story:
The game: I want to know how you get away with "closing your hand on the puck." It's the puck, the single most important piece of equipment in the game..it doesn't just vanish. If it's nowhere to be found and nobody put it into the crowd or a bench area or the netting, somebody's holding it. On both - dudes, it's not baseball. Put the puck down and carry on.
Life: High-sticking a puck and hand passing are heat of the moment moves that players, I would assume, undertake when they can't find another way to gain an advantage. We do the same thing in life all the time, but there aren't really a lot of rules stopping us. I propose my own punishment for high-sticking or hand passing the life puck:
Offense: Attempting to gain a territorial advantage in busy holiday parking lots by doing that thing where you circle back around to face a car that's already been waiting and you basically play a game of chicken over who's going to get into the space. Penalty: Automatic shutdown of your engine, forcing you to call a tow truck while you wait in the midst of an angry mob who can't get into their cars because you've blocked them in with your selfishness and utter lack of common decency.
Offense: SUVs that are turning left from a side street onto a two lane road, and pull up next a smaller car already waiting to turn right, and who inch up just a few extra inches past the smaller car so the tinier vehicle can no longer see the oncoming traffic. Penalty for the SUV, obviously: Provided there are no vehicles behind you, failure of your brakes and/or clutch such that you roll back down the street, leaving the smaller car free to proceed unabated. If there are vehicles behind you, automatic deflation of your tires so you can't go anywhere no matter what you can see, setting off aforementioned angry mob behind you, who are now stuck because of your arrogance.
In both cases, there shall be no punishment assessed to the offenders if said angry mobs get out of their fuel-efficient cars and pound you to a pulp.
Next up on 2/7: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 80, Icing. Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for, in which I will finally reveal what I thought it really was. It's worth the hysterical laughing at me, trust me. Thanks to Super Bowl Sunday, I will be highlighting the outcome of tonights Seattle vs. Portland game.
Why I chose them: It's hockey night in Portland in my humble abode. I'm watching the honkin' tall French captain in OT and I'll momentarily be listening to Andy Kemper's broadcast of the Seattle game.
I learned to skate today: And I didn't fall down or run into anyone or anything. I've never skated before in my life, unless you factor in countless weekends rollerskating on a Sunday afternoon in the 70s. It's the most fun I've had on a sleep-deprived Saturday afternoon in a long time.
The rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 79, Hand Pass. Rule 80, High-sticking the Puck.
Number of sections in the rules: 3 (Rule 79). 4 (Rule 80).
Definitions: 79.1, Hand Pass. A player shall be permitted to stop or "bat" a puck in the air with his open hand, or push it along the ice with his hand, and the play shall not be stopped unless, in the opinion of the on-ice officials, he has directed the puck to a teammate, or has allowed his team to gain an advantage, and subsequently possession and control of the puck is obtained by a player of the offending team, either directly or deflected off any player or official. A player shall be permitted to catch the puck out of the air but must immediately place it or knock it down to the ice. If he catches it and skates with it, either to avoid a check or to gain a territorial advantage over his opponent, a minor penalty shall be assessed for "closing his hand on the puck" under Rule 67, Handling the Puck.
80.1, High-sticking the Puck. Batting the puck above the normal height of the shoulders with a stick is prohibited. When a puck is struck with a high stick and subsequently comes into the possession and control of a player from the offending team (including the player who made contact with the puck), either directly or deflected off any player or official, there shall be a whistle.
Finally, I'm getting why there are nine face-off circles: 79.3, Face-off location. When a hand pass violation has occurred, the ensuing face-off shall take place at the nearest face-off spot in the zone where the offense occurred, unless the offending team gains a territorial advantage, then the face-off shall be at the nearest face-off spot in the zone where the stoppage of play occurred, unless otherwise covered in the rules. For High-sticking the Puck, this takes place at the spot that provides the least amount of territorial advantage to the team striking the puck.
But I'll never be a math major: 80.4, Numerical Advantage. When either team is below the numerical strength (short-handed) of its opponent and a player of the team of greater numerical strength (power-play) causes a stoppage of play by striking the puck with his stick above the height of his shoulder, the resulting face-off shall be made at one of the end zone face-off spots adjacent to the goal of the team causing the stoppage.
The final scores: Tampa Bay 2, Calgary 1 in OT. Rangers 3, Devils 1. Portland vs. Seattle is underway in 25 minutes.
Morals of the story:
The game: I want to know how you get away with "closing your hand on the puck." It's the puck, the single most important piece of equipment in the game..it doesn't just vanish. If it's nowhere to be found and nobody put it into the crowd or a bench area or the netting, somebody's holding it. On both - dudes, it's not baseball. Put the puck down and carry on.
Life: High-sticking a puck and hand passing are heat of the moment moves that players, I would assume, undertake when they can't find another way to gain an advantage. We do the same thing in life all the time, but there aren't really a lot of rules stopping us. I propose my own punishment for high-sticking or hand passing the life puck:
Offense: Attempting to gain a territorial advantage in busy holiday parking lots by doing that thing where you circle back around to face a car that's already been waiting and you basically play a game of chicken over who's going to get into the space. Penalty: Automatic shutdown of your engine, forcing you to call a tow truck while you wait in the midst of an angry mob who can't get into their cars because you've blocked them in with your selfishness and utter lack of common decency.
Offense: SUVs that are turning left from a side street onto a two lane road, and pull up next a smaller car already waiting to turn right, and who inch up just a few extra inches past the smaller car so the tinier vehicle can no longer see the oncoming traffic. Penalty for the SUV, obviously: Provided there are no vehicles behind you, failure of your brakes and/or clutch such that you roll back down the street, leaving the smaller car free to proceed unabated. If there are vehicles behind you, automatic deflation of your tires so you can't go anywhere no matter what you can see, setting off aforementioned angry mob behind you, who are now stuck because of your arrogance.
In both cases, there shall be no punishment assessed to the offenders if said angry mobs get out of their fuel-efficient cars and pound you to a pulp.
Next up on 2/7: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 80, Icing. Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for, in which I will finally reveal what I thought it really was. It's worth the hysterical laughing at me, trust me. Thanks to Super Bowl Sunday, I will be highlighting the outcome of tonights Seattle vs. Portland game.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day 78, Rule 78
The game: Anaheim vs. LA Kings.
Why I chose it: Starting goaltender and new bazillionaire with a brand spankin' new four-year contract Jonas Hiller rolls into LA to continue the party. Game on and no I don't care if you think LA's going to cook the Ducks for dinner. I'm all in for the cutie pie Swiss goalie/Olympian.
The peeve: According to the latest headlines, Ilya Kovalchuk is headed to the New Jersey Devils because a 12-year, $101 million deal wasn't quite good enough for him. One of the ways I plan to continue this blog is by learning the business of hockey (trade deadline, free agents, the draft, salary cap, etc.). I may not know a lot about hockey, but I do know this: If $101 million isn't good enough for him, I'll take it. In fact, I'm pretty sure anyone who works for a living and whose head isn't swelled to the size of a small planet would take it.
The rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 78, Goals.
Number of sections in the rule: 6.
Definition: 78.4, Scoring a Goal. A goal shall be scored when the puck shall have been put between the goal posts by the stick of a player of the attacking side, from in front and below the cross bar, and entirely across a red line the width of the diameter of the goal posts drawn on the ice from one goal post to the other with the goal frame in its proper position. Yes you can score into your own net: "a goal shall be scored if the puck is put into the goal in any way by a player of the defending side."
Also important: 78.1, Goals and Assists. The Official Scorer awards goals and assists, notwithstanding the report of the Referee or any other game official. It is essential that the Official Scorer be thoroughly familiar with every aspect of this rule; be alert to observe all actions which could affect the awarding of a goal or assist; and, above all, give or withhold awards with absolute impartiality.
Highlights:
So this is how you move up in the League standings: 78.1, Goals and Assists. The team scoring the greatest number of goals during the three (3) twenty-minute periods shall be the winner and shall be credited with two points in the League standings. In the event a winner during the regular season is determined in the overtime period or the shootout, the winning team shall be credited with two points in the League standings and the losing team will be credited with one point in the League standings.
78.5, Disallowed Goals. Things for which goals are disallowed include:
(i) When the puck has been directed, batted or thrown into the net by an attacking player other than with a stick.
(ii) When the puck has been kicked using a distinct kicking motion.
(iii) When the puck has deflected directly into the net off an official.
(iv) When a goal has been scored and an ineligible player is on the ice.
(xi) During the delayed calling of a penalty, the offending team cannot score unless the non-offending team shoots the puck into their own net.
The final score: Ok, so maybe they did get cooked (Anaheim 6, LA 4). But still, the rally back from the 4-1 deficit to tie it up was still way cool. And I'm still all in for cutie pie Swiss goalies.
Morals of the story:
The game: The first part of the rule is a "no exceptions" deal, but of course it applies to the officials and not the players. I'm a supporter of fair play and enforcement of rules, because I don't like it when athletes win for the wrong reason, such as steroid use, any form of cheating, or only because of random acts or lucky breaks. I like it when teams have to claw their way into the playoffs and fight along the way to get the Cup or the Gold Medal or whatever. That's why I love Jonas Hiller's story. He once told an interviewer something like "you have to fight to be lucky." It's true. Luck doesn't come around twice and you have to work to earn it and to keep it.
Life: The disallowed goals is so like life. It's universally true that when life is going too well, something else comes along to balance the equation. Take, for example, my brief and notorious stint doing PR on Wall Street. I thought I had it made - finally had a decent apartment with a dishwasher and washer/dryer and everything. I was five minutes from the train station and the gym and my new commute by PATH train was 20 minutes. Door to door, it would only take 45 minutes, tops. My office was right down the street from the New York Stock Exchange. And every morning, I got to walk right under the Trade Center on my way to work. Pretty cool, right? Sure it was. As long as you leave out the part where the first day of my nice new shiny life started on September 10, 2001 and the luck lasted for all of 24 hours. Nobody gets lucky without fighting for it. And nobody gets to keep it forever. In some cases, not even for a day.
Up next on 2/6: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 79, Hand Pass. Extra note: tomorrow it will be 7 days to the Olympics opening ceremony and there are 8 rules to go. Look for a double-header over the weekend so I can meet my deadline.
Why I chose it: Starting goaltender and new bazillionaire with a brand spankin' new four-year contract Jonas Hiller rolls into LA to continue the party. Game on and no I don't care if you think LA's going to cook the Ducks for dinner. I'm all in for the cutie pie Swiss goalie/Olympian.
The peeve: According to the latest headlines, Ilya Kovalchuk is headed to the New Jersey Devils because a 12-year, $101 million deal wasn't quite good enough for him. One of the ways I plan to continue this blog is by learning the business of hockey (trade deadline, free agents, the draft, salary cap, etc.). I may not know a lot about hockey, but I do know this: If $101 million isn't good enough for him, I'll take it. In fact, I'm pretty sure anyone who works for a living and whose head isn't swelled to the size of a small planet would take it.
The rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 78, Goals.
Number of sections in the rule: 6.
Definition: 78.4, Scoring a Goal. A goal shall be scored when the puck shall have been put between the goal posts by the stick of a player of the attacking side, from in front and below the cross bar, and entirely across a red line the width of the diameter of the goal posts drawn on the ice from one goal post to the other with the goal frame in its proper position. Yes you can score into your own net: "a goal shall be scored if the puck is put into the goal in any way by a player of the defending side."
Also important: 78.1, Goals and Assists. The Official Scorer awards goals and assists, notwithstanding the report of the Referee or any other game official. It is essential that the Official Scorer be thoroughly familiar with every aspect of this rule; be alert to observe all actions which could affect the awarding of a goal or assist; and, above all, give or withhold awards with absolute impartiality.
Highlights:
So this is how you move up in the League standings: 78.1, Goals and Assists. The team scoring the greatest number of goals during the three (3) twenty-minute periods shall be the winner and shall be credited with two points in the League standings. In the event a winner during the regular season is determined in the overtime period or the shootout, the winning team shall be credited with two points in the League standings and the losing team will be credited with one point in the League standings.
78.5, Disallowed Goals. Things for which goals are disallowed include:
(i) When the puck has been directed, batted or thrown into the net by an attacking player other than with a stick.
(ii) When the puck has been kicked using a distinct kicking motion.
(iii) When the puck has deflected directly into the net off an official.
(iv) When a goal has been scored and an ineligible player is on the ice.
(xi) During the delayed calling of a penalty, the offending team cannot score unless the non-offending team shoots the puck into their own net.
The final score: Ok, so maybe they did get cooked (Anaheim 6, LA 4). But still, the rally back from the 4-1 deficit to tie it up was still way cool. And I'm still all in for cutie pie Swiss goalies.
Morals of the story:
The game: The first part of the rule is a "no exceptions" deal, but of course it applies to the officials and not the players. I'm a supporter of fair play and enforcement of rules, because I don't like it when athletes win for the wrong reason, such as steroid use, any form of cheating, or only because of random acts or lucky breaks. I like it when teams have to claw their way into the playoffs and fight along the way to get the Cup or the Gold Medal or whatever. That's why I love Jonas Hiller's story. He once told an interviewer something like "you have to fight to be lucky." It's true. Luck doesn't come around twice and you have to work to earn it and to keep it.
Life: The disallowed goals is so like life. It's universally true that when life is going too well, something else comes along to balance the equation. Take, for example, my brief and notorious stint doing PR on Wall Street. I thought I had it made - finally had a decent apartment with a dishwasher and washer/dryer and everything. I was five minutes from the train station and the gym and my new commute by PATH train was 20 minutes. Door to door, it would only take 45 minutes, tops. My office was right down the street from the New York Stock Exchange. And every morning, I got to walk right under the Trade Center on my way to work. Pretty cool, right? Sure it was. As long as you leave out the part where the first day of my nice new shiny life started on September 10, 2001 and the luck lasted for all of 24 hours. Nobody gets lucky without fighting for it. And nobody gets to keep it forever. In some cases, not even for a day.
Up next on 2/6: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 79, Hand Pass. Extra note: tomorrow it will be 7 days to the Olympics opening ceremony and there are 8 rules to go. Look for a double-header over the weekend so I can meet my deadline.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Day 77, Rule 76 (Part 2) and 77
The games: Montreal vs. Vancouver. New Jersey vs. Toronto.
Why I chose them: Vancouver is in the middle of an historic road trip -- I wanted to see if they were still standing. JS Giguere and Dion Phaneuf debuted with Toronto -- I wanted to see if a new day dawns in Toronto.
Nice move: A new day indeed...Giguere debuted with a shut out. Vancouver's still standing, and they cut the lead to one goal late in the game.
The rules: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-offs. Rule 77, Game and Intermission Timing.
Number of sections in the rules: 8 (Rule 76). 3 (Rule 77).
Definitions/finally I get it: 76.4, Procedure - Centers. The puck shall be faced off by the Referee or Linesman dropping the puck on the ice between the sticks of the players facing-off. Players facing off will stand squarely facing their opponent's end of the rink approximately one stick length apart with the blade of their sticks on the ice. When the face-off takes place in any of the end face-off circles... the sticks of both players facing-off shall have the blade on the ice, within the designated white area. The visiting player shall place his stick within the designated area first followed immediately by the home player.
77.1, Game Timing. The time allowed for a game shall be three (3) twenty-minute periods of actual play with a rest intermission between periods.
77.2, Intermission Timing. Pay shall be resumed promptly following each intermission upon the expiration of seventeen (17) minutes or a length of time designated by League from the completion of play in the preceding period. Teams get a warning at 2 and 5 minutes prior to the resumption of play, to ensure it starts on time.
Favorite highlights/I always wondered about this one too: 76.4, Procedure - Centers. If the center attempts to arrive at the face-off spot just as the five seconds elapses in an attempt to gain an advantage to win the face-off, he is removed from the face-off and replaced, resulting in a face-off violation.
And, at last, I get the whole encroachment thing: 76.5, Procedure - Other Players. Players on the attacking team (exclusive of the center) must establish their position first and then the defending team may counter and hold its position until the puck is dropped. A violation of this procedure shall be treated as face-off encroachment and the Linesman shall order the center of the offending team replaced. Later, in 76.6, it states that "Face-off encroachment may be applied during face-offs at any of the nine (9) face-off spots on the playing surface."
The final scores: Toronto 3, New Jersey 0. Montreal 3, Vancouver 2.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, what if the one stick in the "one stick length" is illegal? Is that where they bust out the drawing of the imaginary line to measure the stick length? Also, I now see the connection to the refusing to start play rule. You get the five minute warning, you don't start play, you're toast. And what's with the coming into the face-off at the last minute to gain an advantage? How do you get away with that? Everyone's there, the Ref's there and they're waiting for you and you think you're going to just stroll on in at the last minute and say "sorry I'm late?" Good luck with that.
Life: I need my own personal Referee and/or Linesman to travel with me on the Light Rail, Bus and Streetcar, so that when smelly people who brought their pet elephant and three Macy's shopping bags on board get in my face, they can be waved out for encroaching on the personal space bubble. For violation of the personal space face-off, citizens without a shred of common sense about when close is too close shall be assessed a bench minor penalty. A bench minor will consist of being kicked off TriMet and forced to walk to work for a period of no fewer than 30 days, giving them plenty of time to walk in the great outdoors so that they can better acquaint themselves with the concept of open space.
Next up on 2/4: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 78, Goals.
Why I chose them: Vancouver is in the middle of an historic road trip -- I wanted to see if they were still standing. JS Giguere and Dion Phaneuf debuted with Toronto -- I wanted to see if a new day dawns in Toronto.
Nice move: A new day indeed...Giguere debuted with a shut out. Vancouver's still standing, and they cut the lead to one goal late in the game.
The rules: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-offs. Rule 77, Game and Intermission Timing.
Number of sections in the rules: 8 (Rule 76). 3 (Rule 77).
Definitions/finally I get it: 76.4, Procedure - Centers. The puck shall be faced off by the Referee or Linesman dropping the puck on the ice between the sticks of the players facing-off. Players facing off will stand squarely facing their opponent's end of the rink approximately one stick length apart with the blade of their sticks on the ice. When the face-off takes place in any of the end face-off circles... the sticks of both players facing-off shall have the blade on the ice, within the designated white area. The visiting player shall place his stick within the designated area first followed immediately by the home player.
77.1, Game Timing. The time allowed for a game shall be three (3) twenty-minute periods of actual play with a rest intermission between periods.
77.2, Intermission Timing. Pay shall be resumed promptly following each intermission upon the expiration of seventeen (17) minutes or a length of time designated by League from the completion of play in the preceding period. Teams get a warning at 2 and 5 minutes prior to the resumption of play, to ensure it starts on time.
Favorite highlights/I always wondered about this one too: 76.4, Procedure - Centers. If the center attempts to arrive at the face-off spot just as the five seconds elapses in an attempt to gain an advantage to win the face-off, he is removed from the face-off and replaced, resulting in a face-off violation.
And, at last, I get the whole encroachment thing: 76.5, Procedure - Other Players. Players on the attacking team (exclusive of the center) must establish their position first and then the defending team may counter and hold its position until the puck is dropped. A violation of this procedure shall be treated as face-off encroachment and the Linesman shall order the center of the offending team replaced. Later, in 76.6, it states that "Face-off encroachment may be applied during face-offs at any of the nine (9) face-off spots on the playing surface."
The final scores: Toronto 3, New Jersey 0. Montreal 3, Vancouver 2.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, what if the one stick in the "one stick length" is illegal? Is that where they bust out the drawing of the imaginary line to measure the stick length? Also, I now see the connection to the refusing to start play rule. You get the five minute warning, you don't start play, you're toast. And what's with the coming into the face-off at the last minute to gain an advantage? How do you get away with that? Everyone's there, the Ref's there and they're waiting for you and you think you're going to just stroll on in at the last minute and say "sorry I'm late?" Good luck with that.
Life: I need my own personal Referee and/or Linesman to travel with me on the Light Rail, Bus and Streetcar, so that when smelly people who brought their pet elephant and three Macy's shopping bags on board get in my face, they can be waved out for encroaching on the personal space bubble. For violation of the personal space face-off, citizens without a shred of common sense about when close is too close shall be assessed a bench minor penalty. A bench minor will consist of being kicked off TriMet and forced to walk to work for a period of no fewer than 30 days, giving them plenty of time to walk in the great outdoors so that they can better acquaint themselves with the concept of open space.
Next up on 2/4: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 78, Goals.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Day 76, Rule 76 (Part One)
Major bummer alert: I missed the Buffalo vs. Pittsburgh game and there's a blackout on the Anaheim vs. Florida game.
Here's why: Sidney Crosby netted his third hat trick this season, and Evgeni Malkin continues the comeback with two assists. In the first game since he was signed to a four-year contract extension and became the Ducks' starting goaltender, Jonas Hiller shut out Florida.
And I'm kinda depressed about this too: On Wednesday, the Portland Winterhawks will play the Kamloops Blazers. It will mark the final time we will see our former goalie Kurtis Mucha on our ice. On the other hand, Kamloops has moved up from next to last in their division to second. Coincidence? I think not. Good luck all around.
Why I'm splitting the entry about this rule in two: The rule is five pages long, it's almost 9 pm and I'd like to get to bed before midnight.
But I digress...the rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-Offs.
Definition: 76.1, Face-off. The action of the Referee or Linesman dropping the puck between the sticks of two opposing players to start or resume play. A face-off begins when the official indicates the location of the face-off and the officials and players take their appropriate positions. The face-off ends when the puck has been legally dropped. A goalkeeper may not participate in a face-off.
76.2, Face-off locations. All face-offs must be conducted on one of the nine (9) face-off spots located on the rink.
My favorite highlight: I've always wondered why players get "waved out" of the face-off, so here it is:
76.3, Procedure: As soon as the line change procedure has been completed by the Referee and he lowers his hand to indicate no further changes, the Linesman conducting the face-off shall blow his whistle. This will signal to both teams that they have no more than five (5) seconds to line up for the ensuing face-off. At the end of the five (5) seconds (or sooner if both centers are ready), the Linesman will conduct a proper face-off. If, however:
(i) One or both centers are not positioned for the face-off,
(ii) One or both centers refrain from placing their stick on the ice,
(iii) Any player has encroached on the face-off circle,
(iv) Any player makes physical contact with an opponent, or,
(v) Any player lines up for the face-off in an off-side position,
the Linesman shall have the offending center(s) replaced immediately prior to dropping the puck.
In the last two (2) minutes of regulation time or any time in overtime, the Linesman will still blow his whistle to initiate the face-off, but the five (5) second time limit will not be enforced. However, players must abide by the verbal directions given by the Linesman in his attempt to conduct a fast and fair face-off.
Morals of the story:
The game: First, I had no idea there were nine face-off spots, and judging by the complexity of this rule all of them get used on a regular basis. This is another one of those "why would you even violate the rule" rules. Most teams put their best person forward for a face-off and you risk losing the face-off if your best person has to be substituted. But then again, I kinda like it when guys are so riled up and in your face they get kicked out. It's a lot like watching Sidney Crosby fight: he doesn't do it a lot, so it's automatically cool when he does.
Life: Corporate America should adopt a face-off rule for CEOs who want to own the market share in their particular industry. Just put a giant red face-off circle in the middle of the street, right in front of the New York Stock Exchange. Every morning before the opening bell, two CEOs chosen by lottery line up with sticks in hand, a neutral party drops the puck, and whoever wins the draw gets exclusivity on their marketplace for one week. Forget ads and metrics and impressions and customer satisfaction surveys and all that other crap. You get one week to sell us your crap without any competition getting in your way, and if we're not buying, too bad. After seven days of you in our face, we're either going to buy it or we're not. Move on.
Next up on 2/2: Rule 76, Part Two and Rule 77, Game and Intermission Timing.
Here's why: Sidney Crosby netted his third hat trick this season, and Evgeni Malkin continues the comeback with two assists. In the first game since he was signed to a four-year contract extension and became the Ducks' starting goaltender, Jonas Hiller shut out Florida.
And I'm kinda depressed about this too: On Wednesday, the Portland Winterhawks will play the Kamloops Blazers. It will mark the final time we will see our former goalie Kurtis Mucha on our ice. On the other hand, Kamloops has moved up from next to last in their division to second. Coincidence? I think not. Good luck all around.
Why I'm splitting the entry about this rule in two: The rule is five pages long, it's almost 9 pm and I'd like to get to bed before midnight.
But I digress...the rule: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-Offs.
Definition: 76.1, Face-off. The action of the Referee or Linesman dropping the puck between the sticks of two opposing players to start or resume play. A face-off begins when the official indicates the location of the face-off and the officials and players take their appropriate positions. The face-off ends when the puck has been legally dropped. A goalkeeper may not participate in a face-off.
76.2, Face-off locations. All face-offs must be conducted on one of the nine (9) face-off spots located on the rink.
My favorite highlight: I've always wondered why players get "waved out" of the face-off, so here it is:
76.3, Procedure: As soon as the line change procedure has been completed by the Referee and he lowers his hand to indicate no further changes, the Linesman conducting the face-off shall blow his whistle. This will signal to both teams that they have no more than five (5) seconds to line up for the ensuing face-off. At the end of the five (5) seconds (or sooner if both centers are ready), the Linesman will conduct a proper face-off. If, however:
(i) One or both centers are not positioned for the face-off,
(ii) One or both centers refrain from placing their stick on the ice,
(iii) Any player has encroached on the face-off circle,
(iv) Any player makes physical contact with an opponent, or,
(v) Any player lines up for the face-off in an off-side position,
the Linesman shall have the offending center(s) replaced immediately prior to dropping the puck.
In the last two (2) minutes of regulation time or any time in overtime, the Linesman will still blow his whistle to initiate the face-off, but the five (5) second time limit will not be enforced. However, players must abide by the verbal directions given by the Linesman in his attempt to conduct a fast and fair face-off.
Morals of the story:
The game: First, I had no idea there were nine face-off spots, and judging by the complexity of this rule all of them get used on a regular basis. This is another one of those "why would you even violate the rule" rules. Most teams put their best person forward for a face-off and you risk losing the face-off if your best person has to be substituted. But then again, I kinda like it when guys are so riled up and in your face they get kicked out. It's a lot like watching Sidney Crosby fight: he doesn't do it a lot, so it's automatically cool when he does.
Life: Corporate America should adopt a face-off rule for CEOs who want to own the market share in their particular industry. Just put a giant red face-off circle in the middle of the street, right in front of the New York Stock Exchange. Every morning before the opening bell, two CEOs chosen by lottery line up with sticks in hand, a neutral party drops the puck, and whoever wins the draw gets exclusivity on their marketplace for one week. Forget ads and metrics and impressions and customer satisfaction surveys and all that other crap. You get one week to sell us your crap without any competition getting in your way, and if we're not buying, too bad. After seven days of you in our face, we're either going to buy it or we're not. Move on.
Next up on 2/2: Rule 76, Part Two and Rule 77, Game and Intermission Timing.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Day 75, Rule 75
The game: Pittsburgh vs. Detroit.
Why I chose it: What goes best with brunch? Hockey, of course. Plus, it's a Stanley Cup final rematch.
Long time coming: Back here in Portland, for the first time in I don't even remember how long, the Portland Winterhawks sold out last night's game. 10,907 fans were in the house. How could we not beat Seattle 6 - 2?
Favorite plays: Evgeni Malkin scoring the game-winning goal in the shootout with the greatest of ease. On the home front, Ryan Johansen scoring at the very tail end of the first period to put the Hawks up by one. Luke Walker sealing the deal with the game winner. Ooohh, and Luca Sbisa scoring his first goal as a Winterhawks, and on his birthday to boot.
The rule: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 75, Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
Definition: 75.1, Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Players and non-playing Club personnel are responsible for their conduct at all times and must endeavor to prevent disorderly conduct before, during or after the game, on or off the ice and any place in the rink. The Referees may assess penalties to any of the above team personnel for failure to do so. NOTE: When such conduct is directed at an official, Rule 40 - Abuse of Officials shall be applied.
My favorite higlights: 75.2, Minor Penalty. Minor penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct are assessed for the following:
-- Any identifiable player who uses obscene, profane or abusive language or gestures directed at any person. So, what if the player isn't identifiable? Can he carry on unabated with hurling unpleasantries at an unruly fan?
-- Hair pulling, biting, grabbing hold of a face mask, throwing an object onto the ice, and being the instigator of a fight while wearing a face shield. If injury results, a match penalty is assessed. Oh, and my personal favorite: a player who deliberately removes his jersey prior to participating in an altercation or who is clearly wearing a jersey that has been modified and does not conform to Rule 9 - Uniforms, shall be assessed a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct and a game misconduct. If the altercation never materializes, the player would receive a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct and a ten-minute misconduct for deliberately removing his jersey.
Final scores: Pittsburgh 2, Detroit 1 (SO). Portland Winterhawks 6, Seattle Thunderbirds 2.
The morals of the story:
The game: Obscene or profane language dominates the infractions for which a penalty can be assessed. I think the only question here is how much obscene or profane language doesn't get penalized. Because if it all was, there would be a stoppage of play every tenth of a second.
As for the jersey removing...just to refresh, a game misconduct is a more severe penalty than a minor. Which means you get a bigger penalty just for threatening the unsportsmanlike behavior than you would if it materialized. I understand why this rule exists - the NHL at least needs to send a message that unsportsmanlike conduct is not ok. But let's face it, there are three things that will go down in every hockey game, without question: swearing, spitting and macho posturing before a fight. They're guys...it's all about the threat, not actually throwing the punch.
Interesting omission: Nowhere in here does it penalize players for "dropping the mitts" in anticipation of a fight.
Life: Sadly, unsportsmanlike conduct is a part of life and thanks to modern technology it's everywhere. Texting, Twitter, cell phones, Bluetooths, iPhones, etc. have all made what was previously unacceptable and rude thoroughly acceptable. People think nothing of interrupting a live conversation to "take a call" to show how important they think they are. And if you are walking around with a Bluetooth in your ear, lest you should miss an important call, because as we all know, the world revolves around you...give it up. Even the President doesn't wear one of those things. If I was the NHL Commissioner of life, these would be just a few of my penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct:
-- Offense: Swearing, spitting or scratching private body parts in public. Penalty: Automatic banishment to a deserted island with a sharpened spear, a month's worth of clean underwear and a recipe for cooking fish on a open fire. Permanent orders to all boats traveling in the area to not rescue you if they see your smoke signals.
-- Offense: Wearing a Bluetooth for more than an hour and/or using it to pretend you are talking to someone on the other end, so your poor little ego can be fed it's daily self-affirmation snack. Penalty: Being placed on a permanent technology blacklist, so when you attempt to purchase said equipment or other useless technology, you will instead be handed a pamphlet with instructions on how to achieve self-enlightenment without the help of imaginary friends.
Next up on 2/1: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-offs.
Why I chose it: What goes best with brunch? Hockey, of course. Plus, it's a Stanley Cup final rematch.
Long time coming: Back here in Portland, for the first time in I don't even remember how long, the Portland Winterhawks sold out last night's game. 10,907 fans were in the house. How could we not beat Seattle 6 - 2?
Favorite plays: Evgeni Malkin scoring the game-winning goal in the shootout with the greatest of ease. On the home front, Ryan Johansen scoring at the very tail end of the first period to put the Hawks up by one. Luke Walker sealing the deal with the game winner. Ooohh, and Luca Sbisa scoring his first goal as a Winterhawks, and on his birthday to boot.
The rule: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 75, Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
Definition: 75.1, Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Players and non-playing Club personnel are responsible for their conduct at all times and must endeavor to prevent disorderly conduct before, during or after the game, on or off the ice and any place in the rink. The Referees may assess penalties to any of the above team personnel for failure to do so. NOTE: When such conduct is directed at an official, Rule 40 - Abuse of Officials shall be applied.
My favorite higlights: 75.2, Minor Penalty. Minor penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct are assessed for the following:
-- Any identifiable player who uses obscene, profane or abusive language or gestures directed at any person. So, what if the player isn't identifiable? Can he carry on unabated with hurling unpleasantries at an unruly fan?
-- Hair pulling, biting, grabbing hold of a face mask, throwing an object onto the ice, and being the instigator of a fight while wearing a face shield. If injury results, a match penalty is assessed. Oh, and my personal favorite: a player who deliberately removes his jersey prior to participating in an altercation or who is clearly wearing a jersey that has been modified and does not conform to Rule 9 - Uniforms, shall be assessed a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct and a game misconduct. If the altercation never materializes, the player would receive a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct and a ten-minute misconduct for deliberately removing his jersey.
Final scores: Pittsburgh 2, Detroit 1 (SO). Portland Winterhawks 6, Seattle Thunderbirds 2.
The morals of the story:
The game: Obscene or profane language dominates the infractions for which a penalty can be assessed. I think the only question here is how much obscene or profane language doesn't get penalized. Because if it all was, there would be a stoppage of play every tenth of a second.
As for the jersey removing...just to refresh, a game misconduct is a more severe penalty than a minor. Which means you get a bigger penalty just for threatening the unsportsmanlike behavior than you would if it materialized. I understand why this rule exists - the NHL at least needs to send a message that unsportsmanlike conduct is not ok. But let's face it, there are three things that will go down in every hockey game, without question: swearing, spitting and macho posturing before a fight. They're guys...it's all about the threat, not actually throwing the punch.
Interesting omission: Nowhere in here does it penalize players for "dropping the mitts" in anticipation of a fight.
Life: Sadly, unsportsmanlike conduct is a part of life and thanks to modern technology it's everywhere. Texting, Twitter, cell phones, Bluetooths, iPhones, etc. have all made what was previously unacceptable and rude thoroughly acceptable. People think nothing of interrupting a live conversation to "take a call" to show how important they think they are. And if you are walking around with a Bluetooth in your ear, lest you should miss an important call, because as we all know, the world revolves around you...give it up. Even the President doesn't wear one of those things. If I was the NHL Commissioner of life, these would be just a few of my penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct:
-- Offense: Swearing, spitting or scratching private body parts in public. Penalty: Automatic banishment to a deserted island with a sharpened spear, a month's worth of clean underwear and a recipe for cooking fish on a open fire. Permanent orders to all boats traveling in the area to not rescue you if they see your smoke signals.
-- Offense: Wearing a Bluetooth for more than an hour and/or using it to pretend you are talking to someone on the other end, so your poor little ego can be fed it's daily self-affirmation snack. Penalty: Being placed on a permanent technology blacklist, so when you attempt to purchase said equipment or other useless technology, you will instead be handed a pamphlet with instructions on how to achieve self-enlightenment without the help of imaginary friends.
Next up on 2/1: Section 10, Game Flow. Rule 76, Face-offs.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Day 74, Rule 74
The game: Anaheim vs. Tampa Bay (1/29).
Why I chose it: Honkin' tall French captain faces off against cutie pie Swiss goalie. No other reason required.
The dilemma: I don't know which team to root for. If it goes to shootout, I'm going with Anaheim because it's all about the goaltender.
Oh look, funny how things work out: The final score: Anaheim 2, Tampa Bay 1 in a shootout.
And it keeps getting better: The Ducks just signed Jonas Hiller to a four-year contract extension. So I have signed myself to a four-year Anaheim Ducks fan extension.
And, on the local front: According to their team's blog, tonight's Portland Winterhawks' game against Seattle is very nearly sold-out. It's been a long time since they were even near that milestone. The Rose Garden is where it's at my friends. And it's Mascot night, so the kids will be able to hobnob with adults dressed as large fuzzy animals.
Now, the rule: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 74, Too Many Men on the Ice.
Definition: 74.1, Too Many Men on the Ice. Players may be changed at any time during the play from the players' bench provided that the player or players leaving the ice shall be within five feet (5') of his players' bench and out of the play before the change is made. Refer also to Rule 71 - Premature Substitution. at the descretion of the on-ice officials, should a substituting player come onto the ice before his teammate is within the five foot (5') limit of the players' bench (and therefore clearly causing his team to have too many players on the ice), then a bench minor penalty may be assessed.
The finer points (highlights): If in the course of making a substitution, either the player entering the game or the player retiring from the ice surface plays the puck with his stick, skats or hands or who checks or makes any physical contact with an opposing player while either the player entering the game or the retiring player is actually on the ice, then the infraction of "too many men on the ice" will be called. If in the course of a substitution either the player(s) entering the play or the player(s) retiring is struck by the puck accidentally, the play will not be stopped and no penalty will be called. In case you're wondering: A player coming onto the ice as a substitute player is considered on the ice once both of his skates are on the ice.
The morals of the story:
The game: Well, at least I see why this rule is just named for what it is. Because the technical name of this offense, Deliberate Illegal Substitution, sounds like something you do to cheat on your taxes. Also, what if you're 5'1" from the bench when your substitute comes out? Are you toast? Inquiring minds want to know.
Life: I used to work on Wall Street at a public relations agency. Yes, it was evil. No I didn't do it for long. Here's why I did it: It paid me enough money to finally afford rent and Rangers season tickets. Now, as for this rule: in PR you spend a lot of time at these huge conferences in hotels, where you stand around the press room and try to convince reporters to write about whatever you're hawking. Doesn't matter, because most of the time they aren't interested. But like this rule, there's a "hand off" where an agency tries to switch up the account execs in the hopes the reporters won't realize it and maybe buy the same crap from a different salesperson. And like this rule, it doesn't work. It's a good thing there is no bench minor for this in life, but maybe there should be.
Think about it this way: I spent about a year and a half on Wall Street and I went to some pretty cool places (Barcelona, Berlin, Montreal), but not once did any of us ever convince a reporter to write a single story. There's a reason this rule penalizes teams who do it deliberately -- it's a lame attempt to gain an unfair advantage. Want to score the story, the goal, whatever? Do it the right way. True, fans don't really want to watch a fair hockey game. Nor do we want to watch one where every victory is won by deception. Watching a player win the right way, in the prime of his career, trumps cheating any day.
Next up on 1/31: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 75, Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
Why I chose it: Honkin' tall French captain faces off against cutie pie Swiss goalie. No other reason required.
The dilemma: I don't know which team to root for. If it goes to shootout, I'm going with Anaheim because it's all about the goaltender.
Oh look, funny how things work out: The final score: Anaheim 2, Tampa Bay 1 in a shootout.
And it keeps getting better: The Ducks just signed Jonas Hiller to a four-year contract extension. So I have signed myself to a four-year Anaheim Ducks fan extension.
And, on the local front: According to their team's blog, tonight's Portland Winterhawks' game against Seattle is very nearly sold-out. It's been a long time since they were even near that milestone. The Rose Garden is where it's at my friends. And it's Mascot night, so the kids will be able to hobnob with adults dressed as large fuzzy animals.
Now, the rule: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 74, Too Many Men on the Ice.
Definition: 74.1, Too Many Men on the Ice. Players may be changed at any time during the play from the players' bench provided that the player or players leaving the ice shall be within five feet (5') of his players' bench and out of the play before the change is made. Refer also to Rule 71 - Premature Substitution. at the descretion of the on-ice officials, should a substituting player come onto the ice before his teammate is within the five foot (5') limit of the players' bench (and therefore clearly causing his team to have too many players on the ice), then a bench minor penalty may be assessed.
The finer points (highlights): If in the course of making a substitution, either the player entering the game or the player retiring from the ice surface plays the puck with his stick, skats or hands or who checks or makes any physical contact with an opposing player while either the player entering the game or the retiring player is actually on the ice, then the infraction of "too many men on the ice" will be called. If in the course of a substitution either the player(s) entering the play or the player(s) retiring is struck by the puck accidentally, the play will not be stopped and no penalty will be called. In case you're wondering: A player coming onto the ice as a substitute player is considered on the ice once both of his skates are on the ice.
The morals of the story:
The game: Well, at least I see why this rule is just named for what it is. Because the technical name of this offense, Deliberate Illegal Substitution, sounds like something you do to cheat on your taxes. Also, what if you're 5'1" from the bench when your substitute comes out? Are you toast? Inquiring minds want to know.
Life: I used to work on Wall Street at a public relations agency. Yes, it was evil. No I didn't do it for long. Here's why I did it: It paid me enough money to finally afford rent and Rangers season tickets. Now, as for this rule: in PR you spend a lot of time at these huge conferences in hotels, where you stand around the press room and try to convince reporters to write about whatever you're hawking. Doesn't matter, because most of the time they aren't interested. But like this rule, there's a "hand off" where an agency tries to switch up the account execs in the hopes the reporters won't realize it and maybe buy the same crap from a different salesperson. And like this rule, it doesn't work. It's a good thing there is no bench minor for this in life, but maybe there should be.
Think about it this way: I spent about a year and a half on Wall Street and I went to some pretty cool places (Barcelona, Berlin, Montreal), but not once did any of us ever convince a reporter to write a single story. There's a reason this rule penalizes teams who do it deliberately -- it's a lame attempt to gain an unfair advantage. Want to score the story, the goal, whatever? Do it the right way. True, fans don't really want to watch a fair hockey game. Nor do we want to watch one where every victory is won by deception. Watching a player win the right way, in the prime of his career, trumps cheating any day.
Next up on 1/31: Section 9, Other Fouls. Rule 75, Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
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