Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Day 2, Rule 2

In answer to your question(s): Records are a relic of the stone age also referred to as Vinyl Records, Vinyl LPs or any combination thereof. Long before they became a conduit for dust bunnies in music stores, "records" were a staple of every household in America. Today, sadly, they are the exclusive domain of DJs and anyone born before 1980.

The game: Pittsburgh vs. Montreal.

Why I chose it: It's the Habs versus the reigning Stanley Cup champs on Pittsburgh's home ice. The once and future champions facing off against each other. Plus, Hal Gill returns to face off against his former teammates. What other reason do I need?

My peeve: There is no pre and post game coverage included in the Center Ice game broadcasts. I paid almost $150 for this deal, and I don't even get to watch sweaty, half-naked, 20-something hockey players say how they lost because they "just weren't playing their game tonight?" I want a refund.

Bonus trivia: Where did the Habs get their nickname when their official name is the Montreal Canadiens? Les Habitants is the informal name given to early French Settlers and the H inside the C in their uniforms was taken to be a reference to the first French Canadian Settlers. Not true - the H surrounded by the C in the uniform actually stands for Club De Hockey Canadien, the team's official name.

Super Bonus trivia: Montreal is one of the "original six" teams who were part of the NHL from 1942 to 1967, prior to the expansion of the league in 1967. The other five are the Toronto Maple Leafs, Detroit Red Wings, Boston Bruins, New York Rangers and the Chicago Blackhawks. The NHL now consists of 30 teams.

The rule: Section 1, The Playing Area. Rule 2: Goalposts and Nets.

Total number of sections in the rule: 2.

Definition: This rule is deceptively simple. It's only got two sub-sections, but they outline in detail the color and materials that must be used to construct the goalposts, the color and size of the pegs that hold it in place, and the weight, color and configuration of the nylon mesh that comprises the net and the protective padding at the bottom.

My favorite highlights:
Rule 2.1, Goal Posts: The flexible posts shall be ten inches (10") in length and bright lime green in color.

Rule 2.2, Nets: The net shall be made of three-ply twisted twine (0.197 inch(5mm) diameter) or equivalent braided twine of multifilament white nylon with an appropriate tensile strength of 700 pounds. The size of the mesh shall be two and one half inches (2 1/2") (inside measurement) from each knot to each diagonal knot when fully stretched. Knotting shall be made as to ensure no sliding of the twine. The net shall be laced to the frame with medium white nylon cord no smaller in size than No. 21.

Number of times rule violated: 0. Unless somebody scrimped and used No. 20 cord.

The final score: Pittsburgh 6. Montreal 1.

My favorite play: Matt Cooke defending teammate Jordan Staal after a high stick to the face.

The morals of the story:

The game: Slap shots typically travel at speeds upwards of 100 miles per hour. The goalposts and netting must be sturdy and strong enough to stop these and other shots, and men who "crash the crease." It takes 700 pounds of carefully knotted white twine to stop a puck traveling faster than the legal speed limit. Shots that miss tend to break the protective glass. Imagine what happens if it hits the goaltender dead on. I see now why so many slap shots make it into the net.

Life: We all build nets of our own making in life to protect us from life's slap shots: car insurance, the H1N1 vaccine, prenuptial agreements, 401(k)s, botox, antioxidants, airbags. But just like a slap shot, life eventually finds its way in.

Don't fight what you can't stop. There are too many other, more important things to worry about.

My personal top 5 "give it up" list: gray hair (which started when I was 30), living on five hours of sleep, a power bar and a soda (pretty much done after I turned 25), being good at being a New Yorker (tried for 10 years, ran out of money, jobs and the reason for doing it), going to the prom with the boy I liked my senior year (turned out to be gay anyway), and being six feet tall (missed it by three inches and even heels barely get me there).

Up next on 10/29: Rule 3, Benches.

No comments:

Post a Comment