The games: Anaheim vs. Detroit and Pittsburgh vs. Boston.
Why I chose them: Hiller's in net in Detroit. Malkin's back in the lineup on home ice. Vengeance all around. Game on.
The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 11, Goalkeeper's Equipment.
Number of sections in the rule: 8.
The definition: Again, size matters. This is all about the measurement of the goalkeeper's gear, including leg guards, calf-strap protectors, knee strap pads, chest and arm pads, pants, catching glove, blocking glove, masks, measuring procedures for the catching glove, rules for inspection of equipment and the financial and suspension penalties associated with refusal to submit to an inspection.
My favorite highlights: 11.4, Pants. No internal or external cheater padding is permitted on the pant leg or waist beyond that which is required to provide protection (no outside or inside ridges). Each goalkeeper must wear pants that are anatomically proportional and size specific based on the individual physical characteristics of that goalkeeper. And if you think you can do the math on your own, forget it. The League's Hockey Operations Department will have the complete discretion to determine the maximum size of each goalkeeper's pants based on measurements obtained by the League's Hockey Operations Department, which will include but not be limited to, measurements for waist circumference and length of pant above and below waist line.
The final scores: Detroit 7, Anaheim 4. Pittsburgh 6, Boston 5 (in OT). So, it wasn't vengeance all around, but at least nobody busted Jonas Hiller for being too big for his britches.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The morals of the story:
The game: The NHL is loaded with international talent from across the globe: Olympic champions, Harvard grads, Russian national team all-stars. For all those who make it, there are more who don't because they don't make the grade. Even among those who do, this rule is proof that they have to literally measure up long before they even step onto the ice. It's the same for life -- talent is not enough. How players measure up off the ice -- in clothing or otherwise --is just as important as their slapshot.
Life: My special admiration for netminders was sealed with this one. I'm 5'9" and I've worn a size 8 since high school, but I'm not exactly the supermodel size 4. Nor would I want to be. It's bad enough that we have to be subjected to society's idea of beauty and ideal weight on TV, in movies, ads, etc. What if you had someone coming to your house every morning to penalize you because you didn't meet society's scary skinny BMI standard? That's essentially what goalies have to do when they get dressed for a game. Hats off to you boys. Or should I say pants?
Next up on 11/15: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 12, Illegal Equipment.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Day 10, Rule 10
The game: Tampa Bay vs. Minnesota.
Why I chose it: It's Vincent Lecavalier and... well, it's Vinny Lecavalier. A honkin' tall, French speaking hockey captain looking for a little redemption on his home ice. I'm in.
My peeve: I'm a day late on this entry, so I was just watching the Anaheim vs. Columbus game and Jonas Hiller is not starting in goal. BUT: tomorrow is a rematch with Detroit, the first since Game 7 of the playoffs. I smell blood already.
The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 10, Sticks.
Number of sections in the rule: 7.
Definition: If there's anything about sticks that isn't in here, I can't imagine what it is. This rule covers stick measurements (prior to game, prior to penalty shot and prior to shootout), broken sticks, loss of stick during game and the penalties for not meeting the measurement regulations. Ok boys, I can't help it. It's too tempting. According to this rule, size matters. And the penalty for not measuring up is fairly serious. Punishments range from bench minor penalties to financial fines for sticks that are ruled illegal after measurement. Any player who deliberately breaks his stick or refuses to surrender an illegal stick is penalized with a bench minor and a 10-minute misconduct.
My favorite highlights: 10.5, Stick Measurement. Among other things...to measure the curvature of the blade of the stick, the Referee must draw an imaginary line along the outside of the shaft to the bottom of the blade and then along the bottom of the blade - this will determine the location of the heel. He must use a league-approved measuring gauge to measure the curve from heel to toe. Everything else is measured with a measuring tape. Imaginary line? The NHL is an international, multi-million dollar sports and marketing empire that can be viewed around the world on cable, and they make a ref play a game of Charades to determine whether a stick measures up? This I have to see.
Here's another one...if the stick proves to be illegal, the stick shall remain at the penalty bench until the end of the game. That's right, even equipment has to do time on the penalty bench for being out of line. And it sits there longer than the players do.
The final score: Tampa Bay 4. Minnesota 3. In a shootout, which is the only thing I love more than honkin' tall French hockey players and underappreciated Swiss goalies.
Number of times rule violated: 0. There were a few lost and broken sticks, but this rule states that as long as you drop them and your teammates don't slide or throw a new one to you from the bench, you're in compliance.
Morals of the story:
Game: Trying to gain an unfair advantage with non-regulation gear carries more risks than benefits. Some things in life are worth it and are risked for the right reason. This is not. It's just stone cold cheating. If you did something like this in an office job, you'd be fired. Plus, if you feel compelled to cheat to win instead of winning on the merit of your talent, sportsmanship and physical conditioning, you have a bigger problem that no rule can fix.
Life: This is the hockey equivalent of a business professional faking their resume to get a better job or taking credit for other people's work to get ahead. You can cheat your way to the top, but if somebody calls for a measurement of your education and experience stick, you're screwed. Crime doesn't pay in hockey and it doesn't pay in life.
Next up on 11/14: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 11, Goalkeeper's Equipment. And vengeance in Detroit.
Why I chose it: It's Vincent Lecavalier and... well, it's Vinny Lecavalier. A honkin' tall, French speaking hockey captain looking for a little redemption on his home ice. I'm in.
My peeve: I'm a day late on this entry, so I was just watching the Anaheim vs. Columbus game and Jonas Hiller is not starting in goal. BUT: tomorrow is a rematch with Detroit, the first since Game 7 of the playoffs. I smell blood already.
The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 10, Sticks.
Number of sections in the rule: 7.
Definition: If there's anything about sticks that isn't in here, I can't imagine what it is. This rule covers stick measurements (prior to game, prior to penalty shot and prior to shootout), broken sticks, loss of stick during game and the penalties for not meeting the measurement regulations. Ok boys, I can't help it. It's too tempting. According to this rule, size matters. And the penalty for not measuring up is fairly serious. Punishments range from bench minor penalties to financial fines for sticks that are ruled illegal after measurement. Any player who deliberately breaks his stick or refuses to surrender an illegal stick is penalized with a bench minor and a 10-minute misconduct.
My favorite highlights: 10.5, Stick Measurement. Among other things...to measure the curvature of the blade of the stick, the Referee must draw an imaginary line along the outside of the shaft to the bottom of the blade and then along the bottom of the blade - this will determine the location of the heel. He must use a league-approved measuring gauge to measure the curve from heel to toe. Everything else is measured with a measuring tape. Imaginary line? The NHL is an international, multi-million dollar sports and marketing empire that can be viewed around the world on cable, and they make a ref play a game of Charades to determine whether a stick measures up? This I have to see.
Here's another one...if the stick proves to be illegal, the stick shall remain at the penalty bench until the end of the game. That's right, even equipment has to do time on the penalty bench for being out of line. And it sits there longer than the players do.
The final score: Tampa Bay 4. Minnesota 3. In a shootout, which is the only thing I love more than honkin' tall French hockey players and underappreciated Swiss goalies.
Number of times rule violated: 0. There were a few lost and broken sticks, but this rule states that as long as you drop them and your teammates don't slide or throw a new one to you from the bench, you're in compliance.
Morals of the story:
Game: Trying to gain an unfair advantage with non-regulation gear carries more risks than benefits. Some things in life are worth it and are risked for the right reason. This is not. It's just stone cold cheating. If you did something like this in an office job, you'd be fired. Plus, if you feel compelled to cheat to win instead of winning on the merit of your talent, sportsmanship and physical conditioning, you have a bigger problem that no rule can fix.
Life: This is the hockey equivalent of a business professional faking their resume to get a better job or taking credit for other people's work to get ahead. You can cheat your way to the top, but if somebody calls for a measurement of your education and experience stick, you're screwed. Crime doesn't pay in hockey and it doesn't pay in life.
Next up on 11/14: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 11, Goalkeeper's Equipment. And vengeance in Detroit.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Day 9, Rule 9
The game: Vancouver vs. St. Louis.
Why I chose it: I keep thinking things will turn around for Vancouver. Well, somebody has to.
My peeve: Half the NHL is on some semblance of injured reserve. I love a good fight. I love the sound of pucks slapping and four letter words and men crashing into the glass, but come on now. It's only November.
The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 9, Uniforms.
Number of sections in the rule: 6.
Definition: This declares that all players must be dressed uniformly and wear an individual identifying number. It outlines jersey size, the types of numbers not allowed (00, fractions, decimals or 3-digit numbers), and outlines the stoppage of play and faceoff rules if a player loses their helmet during play. It also defines the penalties for goalkeepers who deliberately remove their masks or helmets to cause a delay of game.
My favorite highlight: No "tying down" of the sweater is allowed at the wrists if it creates a tension across the jersey such that a "webbing effect" is created in the armpit area. No other tie downs are allowed that create a "webbing effect." Good thing the NHL is on top of this one. Because we wouldn't want anyone trying to gain the upper hand by dressing like Spider Man.
The final score: St. Louis 6. Vancouver 1.
Number of times rule violated: 0. Although Montreal might have been in violation last weekend when they wore their original striped uniforms to celebrate their anniversary. Nowhere does it say it's ok to wear a uniform that resembles pajamas.
The morals of the story:
The game: This rule guarantees that all players, at least on the outside, must be equal. It doesn't matter what your talent or skill level is or when you were taken in the draft. No dressing like Spider Man, no 67.5 on the back. How great would it be if this rule made the teams play with the same equality and unity? Anaheim wouldn't be in an early season pickle, Vancouver wouldn't be going down. Everyone would be hard to beat and every game would be like the playoffs.
Life: We all wear a uniform of some sort to work, the gym or social occasions. But who we are, what makes us special and how we choose to shine through is not defined by what we wear. Just like hockey, it's how we play that matters. Of course, I probably shouldn't preach because I'm a grown up Garanimal, so what do I know about fashion anyway?
Note to readers born after 1980: Garanimals were created by Sears in the 70s to help children learn how to shop. You would buy outfits based on the tags, so Lion pants went with Lion shirts and Giraffe dresses went with Giraffe dress shoes. And so on. Sometimes I mix it up. Which is why I don't worry about standing out. Tall women wearing Elephant shoes with a Zebra bag can be seen from miles away.
Next up on 11/12: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 10, Sticks.
Why I chose it: I keep thinking things will turn around for Vancouver. Well, somebody has to.
My peeve: Half the NHL is on some semblance of injured reserve. I love a good fight. I love the sound of pucks slapping and four letter words and men crashing into the glass, but come on now. It's only November.
The rule: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 9, Uniforms.
Number of sections in the rule: 6.
Definition: This declares that all players must be dressed uniformly and wear an individual identifying number. It outlines jersey size, the types of numbers not allowed (00, fractions, decimals or 3-digit numbers), and outlines the stoppage of play and faceoff rules if a player loses their helmet during play. It also defines the penalties for goalkeepers who deliberately remove their masks or helmets to cause a delay of game.
My favorite highlight: No "tying down" of the sweater is allowed at the wrists if it creates a tension across the jersey such that a "webbing effect" is created in the armpit area. No other tie downs are allowed that create a "webbing effect." Good thing the NHL is on top of this one. Because we wouldn't want anyone trying to gain the upper hand by dressing like Spider Man.
The final score: St. Louis 6. Vancouver 1.
Number of times rule violated: 0. Although Montreal might have been in violation last weekend when they wore their original striped uniforms to celebrate their anniversary. Nowhere does it say it's ok to wear a uniform that resembles pajamas.
The morals of the story:
The game: This rule guarantees that all players, at least on the outside, must be equal. It doesn't matter what your talent or skill level is or when you were taken in the draft. No dressing like Spider Man, no 67.5 on the back. How great would it be if this rule made the teams play with the same equality and unity? Anaheim wouldn't be in an early season pickle, Vancouver wouldn't be going down. Everyone would be hard to beat and every game would be like the playoffs.
Life: We all wear a uniform of some sort to work, the gym or social occasions. But who we are, what makes us special and how we choose to shine through is not defined by what we wear. Just like hockey, it's how we play that matters. Of course, I probably shouldn't preach because I'm a grown up Garanimal, so what do I know about fashion anyway?
Note to readers born after 1980: Garanimals were created by Sears in the 70s to help children learn how to shop. You would buy outfits based on the tags, so Lion pants went with Lion shirts and Giraffe dresses went with Giraffe dress shoes. And so on. Sometimes I mix it up. Which is why I don't worry about standing out. Tall women wearing Elephant shoes with a Zebra bag can be seen from miles away.
Next up on 11/12: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 10, Sticks.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Day 8, Rule 8
The game: Edmonton vs. Colorado.
Why I chose it: It's Sunday, it's 5:45. It's this or the 7 minute highlights on the Versus On-Demand channel.
My peeve: It's Sunday, 5:45 and no other games are happening at the same time. This Center Ice package is a trap - now that I have it, I need at least 7 or 8 games going at once or I go into withdrawal.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 8, Injured Players.
Number of sections in the rule: 3.
Definition: This rule should be simple: player gets injured, player leaves ice, other player is substituted. But like life, what should be and what is are not the same. It takes eight paragraphs to explain when the team can substitute a new player, where the injured player must exit the ice, when the injured player can come back, what to do if he incurs a penalty and can't serve it (no, you don't get out of jail free), and it outlines the strict requirement that a bleeding player must leave the ice. It's also way more unmerciful to goalies. It only takes five paragraphs to explain the requirements for netminders.
My favorite highlight:
As if stopping pucks going the speed of sound wasn't hard enough: If a goalkeeper sustains an injury or becomes ill, he must be ready to resume play immediately or be replaced by a substitute goalkeeper and no additional time shall be allowed by the Referee for the purpose of enabling the injured or ill goalkeeper to resume his position. No warm-up shall be permitted for a substitute goalkeeper in all regular season League and Playoff games. The Referee shall report to the Commissioner for disciplinary action any delay in making a goalkeeper substitution.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Edmonton 5. Colorado 3.
The morals of the story:
The game: No matter which position you play, there's no free ride. Not even when you're injured. Sure, the players get a few more minutes to get their substitution act together, but you get a penalty if you misstep even a little. And if you're a goalie, well, you pretty much better be bulletproof. And if you aren't, don't apply for the job.
Life: Hockey players risk everything everytime they step on the ice: their safety, their winning streak, and if the injury is bad enough, their dreams and their futures. But that doesn't stop them. They play on, one way or another. We should be required to live by this rule in life. Most of us live lives of silent dreams and loud fears. We are afraid of "what if," we get caught up in life's crosschecks and two minutes for roughing and we give up. We let someone else be substituted for us while we leave the ice. Next time life injures you, get back up. Play on. Just like hockey, rules and all, you can always come back.
Bonus life lesson: As if you couldn't tell from earlier blog entries, I have special admiration for goalkeepers. Well, ok, one in particular. But still, here's the deal:
One of my friends once told me that he could never play goalie because he'd be bored from "just standing there all night." I can see where he was misled. The men who guard the NHL's nets are hidden from us. By their masks, by their equipment and by their own desire to operate alone. It's easy to think that they only play that position because they are afraid. I beg to differ. Tending goal requires the following: 1) Mental fortitude. 2) Physical resilience. 3) Fearlessness of anything, including fast pucks, big men and being alone. 4) Being 100 percent trusworthy and reliable, all the time, every time. If you can do all those things while you're "just standing around" and making no conscious effort whatsoever...call me. I want your secret. I'll pay for it.
Next up on 11/9: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 9, Uniforms.
Why I chose it: It's Sunday, it's 5:45. It's this or the 7 minute highlights on the Versus On-Demand channel.
My peeve: It's Sunday, 5:45 and no other games are happening at the same time. This Center Ice package is a trap - now that I have it, I need at least 7 or 8 games going at once or I go into withdrawal.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 8, Injured Players.
Number of sections in the rule: 3.
Definition: This rule should be simple: player gets injured, player leaves ice, other player is substituted. But like life, what should be and what is are not the same. It takes eight paragraphs to explain when the team can substitute a new player, where the injured player must exit the ice, when the injured player can come back, what to do if he incurs a penalty and can't serve it (no, you don't get out of jail free), and it outlines the strict requirement that a bleeding player must leave the ice. It's also way more unmerciful to goalies. It only takes five paragraphs to explain the requirements for netminders.
My favorite highlight:
As if stopping pucks going the speed of sound wasn't hard enough: If a goalkeeper sustains an injury or becomes ill, he must be ready to resume play immediately or be replaced by a substitute goalkeeper and no additional time shall be allowed by the Referee for the purpose of enabling the injured or ill goalkeeper to resume his position. No warm-up shall be permitted for a substitute goalkeeper in all regular season League and Playoff games. The Referee shall report to the Commissioner for disciplinary action any delay in making a goalkeeper substitution.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Edmonton 5. Colorado 3.
The morals of the story:
The game: No matter which position you play, there's no free ride. Not even when you're injured. Sure, the players get a few more minutes to get their substitution act together, but you get a penalty if you misstep even a little. And if you're a goalie, well, you pretty much better be bulletproof. And if you aren't, don't apply for the job.
Life: Hockey players risk everything everytime they step on the ice: their safety, their winning streak, and if the injury is bad enough, their dreams and their futures. But that doesn't stop them. They play on, one way or another. We should be required to live by this rule in life. Most of us live lives of silent dreams and loud fears. We are afraid of "what if," we get caught up in life's crosschecks and two minutes for roughing and we give up. We let someone else be substituted for us while we leave the ice. Next time life injures you, get back up. Play on. Just like hockey, rules and all, you can always come back.
Bonus life lesson: As if you couldn't tell from earlier blog entries, I have special admiration for goalkeepers. Well, ok, one in particular. But still, here's the deal:
One of my friends once told me that he could never play goalie because he'd be bored from "just standing there all night." I can see where he was misled. The men who guard the NHL's nets are hidden from us. By their masks, by their equipment and by their own desire to operate alone. It's easy to think that they only play that position because they are afraid. I beg to differ. Tending goal requires the following: 1) Mental fortitude. 2) Physical resilience. 3) Fearlessness of anything, including fast pucks, big men and being alone. 4) Being 100 percent trusworthy and reliable, all the time, every time. If you can do all those things while you're "just standing around" and making no conscious effort whatsoever...call me. I want your secret. I'll pay for it.
Next up on 11/9: Section 3, Equipment. Rule 9, Uniforms.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 7, Rule 7
The game: Anaheim vs. Nashville.
Why I chose it: Jonas Hiller is starting in goal. Anaheim's on the upswing. I think tonight might be the night.
My peeve: I made a commercial break periodically for the Pittsburgh vs. LA game. The broadcasters are making a huge deal out of the Pens' unbeaten road streak. Don't hype it, sillies, you'll jinx it. Sadly my telepathic cursing didn't work and, as I predicted in the silence of my living room, Pittsburgh's unbeaten winning road streak came to an end.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 7, Starting Line-up.
Number of sections in the rule: 2.
Definition: Aha. So this is the rule that ensures you can't try and gain the advantage by switching the lineup at ice time. Although it sounds like the home team might have a slight advantage, because the visiting team has to submit their line-up to the Official Scorer or Referee first. Then the home team coach or manager, having been advised of the visiting team's line-up, must provide to the Official Scorer the names of their starters. The visitors then get to know who they are facing, and neither team can make changes once the home team's names have been submitted.
My favorite highlight: Rule 7.2, Violation. A bench minor penalty is assessed against the offending team who puts the wrong line-up on the ice, provided it is brought to the referee's attention prior to the second face off in the game. If a team scores on the first shift of the game, and it's brought to the ref's attention by the opposing team that the team that scored didn't have the right starting line-up, the goal is allowed and a bench minor penalty is assessed to the offending team. If the team that scored challenges the starting line-up of the opposing team, and the opposing team did not have the right starting line-up, the scoring of the goal nullifies the bench minor penalty and no further penalty is assessed. Got it? Even if both teams get busted doing this, the goal is still allowed and somebody's still gonna be pissed.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Anaheim 4, Nashville 0. Hiller stopped all 40 shots on goal. A comeback with a capital C. It was the night, after all.
Bonus tidbit for novices: A shot on goal is one that enters the goal or one that would have entered the goal if it hadn't been stopped by the goalie.
The morals of the story:
The game: This is the hockey equivalent of the legal technicalities that let criminals escape punishment. If both teams try to sneak a last-minute line-up change onto the ice, and they both get busted, one team's violation cancels the other one's out. Plus, the statue of limitations runs out after the second face-off.
Life: I need my own personal referee. In life, when I try to score goals, I should be able to bring it to the attention of my personal ref, so he can assess a bench minor penalty to whomever or whatever got in the way and screwed up my plans. And the achieving of the goal should then be allowed with no further penalties or obstructions.
Next up on 11/8: Section 2, Teams. Rule 8, Injured Players.
Why I chose it: Jonas Hiller is starting in goal. Anaheim's on the upswing. I think tonight might be the night.
My peeve: I made a commercial break periodically for the Pittsburgh vs. LA game. The broadcasters are making a huge deal out of the Pens' unbeaten road streak. Don't hype it, sillies, you'll jinx it. Sadly my telepathic cursing didn't work and, as I predicted in the silence of my living room, Pittsburgh's unbeaten winning road streak came to an end.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 7, Starting Line-up.
Number of sections in the rule: 2.
Definition: Aha. So this is the rule that ensures you can't try and gain the advantage by switching the lineup at ice time. Although it sounds like the home team might have a slight advantage, because the visiting team has to submit their line-up to the Official Scorer or Referee first. Then the home team coach or manager, having been advised of the visiting team's line-up, must provide to the Official Scorer the names of their starters. The visitors then get to know who they are facing, and neither team can make changes once the home team's names have been submitted.
My favorite highlight: Rule 7.2, Violation. A bench minor penalty is assessed against the offending team who puts the wrong line-up on the ice, provided it is brought to the referee's attention prior to the second face off in the game. If a team scores on the first shift of the game, and it's brought to the ref's attention by the opposing team that the team that scored didn't have the right starting line-up, the goal is allowed and a bench minor penalty is assessed to the offending team. If the team that scored challenges the starting line-up of the opposing team, and the opposing team did not have the right starting line-up, the scoring of the goal nullifies the bench minor penalty and no further penalty is assessed. Got it? Even if both teams get busted doing this, the goal is still allowed and somebody's still gonna be pissed.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Anaheim 4, Nashville 0. Hiller stopped all 40 shots on goal. A comeback with a capital C. It was the night, after all.
Bonus tidbit for novices: A shot on goal is one that enters the goal or one that would have entered the goal if it hadn't been stopped by the goalie.
The morals of the story:
The game: This is the hockey equivalent of the legal technicalities that let criminals escape punishment. If both teams try to sneak a last-minute line-up change onto the ice, and they both get busted, one team's violation cancels the other one's out. Plus, the statue of limitations runs out after the second face-off.
Life: I need my own personal referee. In life, when I try to score goals, I should be able to bring it to the attention of my personal ref, so he can assess a bench minor penalty to whomever or whatever got in the way and screwed up my plans. And the achieving of the goal should then be allowed with no further penalties or obstructions.
Next up on 11/8: Section 2, Teams. Rule 8, Injured Players.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 6, Rule 6
The game: Pittsburgh vs. Anaheim.
Why I chose it: The underdogs of the moment play the Stanley Cup champions. Jonas Hiller is starting in goal. I smell a comeback.
My peeve: The NHL public relations team has unleashed a Bull Durham-esque litany of cliches. The following expressions were used at least once by players in interviews over the past 24 hours: "play our game," "keep it simple," and "I just hope I can help out the team." I'm not saying you can't use the occasional cliche, I'm just saying come up with some new ones.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 6, Captains and Alternate Captains.
Number of sections in the rule: 2.
Definition: Ok, Sidney Crosby haters, get over it. It says right here in this rule - as Captain it's his job to talk with the refs about interpretation of rules. No other players except the Alternate Captains are permitted to do so. This also clearly outlines the penalties for complaints. It states that a complaint about a penalty is NOT a matter " relating to the interpretation of the rules"and a minor penalty shall be imposed against any Captain, Alternate Captain, or any other player making such a complaint. Not, by the way, is capitalized in the rule book.
My favorite highlight: Rule 6.2, Captain. Only the captain, when invited to do so by the referee, shall have the privilege of discussing any point relating to the interpretation of the rules. Any player who comes off the bench to protest or intervene with officials shall be assessed a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct as defined in Rule 40 - Abuse of Officials. Should the protest continue, he may be assessed a misconduct penalty and if it further continues, a game misconduct penalty shall be warranted.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Pittsburgh 4. Anaheim 3. It's a comeback with a small c.
The morals of the story:
The game: If any Captain whined as much as Sidney Crosby is accused of, they'd be gone. Bought out. Traded at the deadline. Put on waivers. No team wants their leader getting them into trouble, no coach wants to babysit the player and his attitude and no official would put up with it. The job and privilege of being Captain or Alternate Captain is one that most people can't handle, let alone when they are barely past the drinking age. We don't have to like the player, but we do have to respect the title.
Life: I lived in New York City for 10 years, and I have figured out how the state can balance their budget. Just enact the Captains rule as law. Levy a fine for every time New Yorkers complain, come off the bench in protest or get into it about their interpretation of the rules. You'd be able to collect enough revenue in a single day to pay off any deficits and it would ensure that you never went into debt again. Ever.
Next up on 11/6: Section 2, Teams. Rule 7, Starting Line-Up.
Why I chose it: The underdogs of the moment play the Stanley Cup champions. Jonas Hiller is starting in goal. I smell a comeback.
My peeve: The NHL public relations team has unleashed a Bull Durham-esque litany of cliches. The following expressions were used at least once by players in interviews over the past 24 hours: "play our game," "keep it simple," and "I just hope I can help out the team." I'm not saying you can't use the occasional cliche, I'm just saying come up with some new ones.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 6, Captains and Alternate Captains.
Number of sections in the rule: 2.
Definition: Ok, Sidney Crosby haters, get over it. It says right here in this rule - as Captain it's his job to talk with the refs about interpretation of rules. No other players except the Alternate Captains are permitted to do so. This also clearly outlines the penalties for complaints. It states that a complaint about a penalty is NOT a matter " relating to the interpretation of the rules"and a minor penalty shall be imposed against any Captain, Alternate Captain, or any other player making such a complaint. Not, by the way, is capitalized in the rule book.
My favorite highlight: Rule 6.2, Captain. Only the captain, when invited to do so by the referee, shall have the privilege of discussing any point relating to the interpretation of the rules. Any player who comes off the bench to protest or intervene with officials shall be assessed a minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct as defined in Rule 40 - Abuse of Officials. Should the protest continue, he may be assessed a misconduct penalty and if it further continues, a game misconduct penalty shall be warranted.
Number of times rule violated: 0.
The final score: Pittsburgh 4. Anaheim 3. It's a comeback with a small c.
The morals of the story:
The game: If any Captain whined as much as Sidney Crosby is accused of, they'd be gone. Bought out. Traded at the deadline. Put on waivers. No team wants their leader getting them into trouble, no coach wants to babysit the player and his attitude and no official would put up with it. The job and privilege of being Captain or Alternate Captain is one that most people can't handle, let alone when they are barely past the drinking age. We don't have to like the player, but we do have to respect the title.
Life: I lived in New York City for 10 years, and I have figured out how the state can balance their budget. Just enact the Captains rule as law. Levy a fine for every time New Yorkers complain, come off the bench in protest or get into it about their interpretation of the rules. You'd be able to collect enough revenue in a single day to pay off any deficits and it would ensure that you never went into debt again. Ever.
Next up on 11/6: Section 2, Teams. Rule 7, Starting Line-Up.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Day 5, Rule 5
The game: Tampa Bay vs. Philadelphia.
Why I chose it: It is my dream that someday Philly will win a game without starting a fight.
My peeve: Today is definitely not that day.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 5: The Team.
Number of sections in the rule: 4.
Definition: Math majors, this one's for you. This defines the number of players on a roster (no more than 20, 18 skaters and 2 goalkeepers), classifies ineligible players (the name on the list matters, number doesn't) and substitution rules for goalkeepers (if two regular goalkeepers are incapacitated, the third is permitted to take the ice), all of which must adhere to the 20-man roster limitations.
My favorite highlights: Rule 5.2, Ineligible Player. Only players on the list submitted to the Official Scorer before the game may participate in the game. If a goal is scored when an inelgible player is on the ice (whether he was involved in the scoring or not) the goal will be disallowed. This only applies to the goal scored at the stoppage of play whereby the player was deemed to be ineligible. All other goals scored previously by the ineligible player's team (with him on the ice or not) shall be allowed.
Number of times rule violated: No goals were disallowed, so I'm gonna go with 0.
The final score: Philadelphia 6. Tampa Bay 2.
The morals of the story:
The game: I would not want to be the coach or manager who violates this one. This is like a grown-up version of roll call in elementary school. Except if you do the thing where you don't answer to your name just to mess with the teacher, you don't spend five minutes in the corner for bad behavior. You get reported to the Commissioner.
Life: How great would it be if we had the same kind of lists and rules for mistakes in life? 1)Individuals shall be limited to 20 mistakes in one lifetime and no change shall be permitted in the list once life has started. 2) If a person commits a social faux pas while stumbling through life because they were too young and stupid to know better, the mistake shall be disallowed and an appropriate action will be substituted in its place. 3) All mistakes committed after an individual should have learned the lesson will result in the individual being disqualified from having a life until they learn.
Next up on 11/3: Section 2, Teams. Rule 6, Captains and Alternate Captains.
Why I chose it: It is my dream that someday Philly will win a game without starting a fight.
My peeve: Today is definitely not that day.
The rule: Section 2, Teams. Rule 5: The Team.
Number of sections in the rule: 4.
Definition: Math majors, this one's for you. This defines the number of players on a roster (no more than 20, 18 skaters and 2 goalkeepers), classifies ineligible players (the name on the list matters, number doesn't) and substitution rules for goalkeepers (if two regular goalkeepers are incapacitated, the third is permitted to take the ice), all of which must adhere to the 20-man roster limitations.
My favorite highlights: Rule 5.2, Ineligible Player. Only players on the list submitted to the Official Scorer before the game may participate in the game. If a goal is scored when an inelgible player is on the ice (whether he was involved in the scoring or not) the goal will be disallowed. This only applies to the goal scored at the stoppage of play whereby the player was deemed to be ineligible. All other goals scored previously by the ineligible player's team (with him on the ice or not) shall be allowed.
Number of times rule violated: No goals were disallowed, so I'm gonna go with 0.
The final score: Philadelphia 6. Tampa Bay 2.
The morals of the story:
The game: I would not want to be the coach or manager who violates this one. This is like a grown-up version of roll call in elementary school. Except if you do the thing where you don't answer to your name just to mess with the teacher, you don't spend five minutes in the corner for bad behavior. You get reported to the Commissioner.
Life: How great would it be if we had the same kind of lists and rules for mistakes in life? 1)Individuals shall be limited to 20 mistakes in one lifetime and no change shall be permitted in the list once life has started. 2) If a person commits a social faux pas while stumbling through life because they were too young and stupid to know better, the mistake shall be disallowed and an appropriate action will be substituted in its place. 3) All mistakes committed after an individual should have learned the lesson will result in the individual being disqualified from having a life until they learn.
Next up on 11/3: Section 2, Teams. Rule 6, Captains and Alternate Captains.
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