So, can we just count this as the start of the season?: NHL training camps open across the league this weekend. Along for the ride are 9 Portland Winterhawks. I think it counts as the official start of the season. Plus, it means juicier headlines on NHL.com than "Toews takes time out for a golf tourney."
And you know I'm excited about it, because: I got up at 8 am this morning, which I never do on a Saturday. But my attitude is it's 11 am somewhere, and that means somewhere out there, large sweaty hockey players are on the ice. And that's reason enough. Game on.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can: Finally memorize the face-off rule, live without shootouts (well, sort of. We'll see. I might need therapy.) and learn what the heck a run-and-gun play is.
Onward with the rule: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.
Hey look, I finally understand what a two way player means: Go ahead. Make fun of me. I'll wait. And while you do that, here's what the CBA says:
9.4, Minor League Compensation. Each SPC entered into with a Rookie in the Entry Level System shall automatically be deemed to be a "two-way" SPC with a minor league salary equal to the Paragraph 1 Minor League Salary set forth in such SPC or, if no minor league salary is set forth, the greater of (i) $35,000 (Native Currency) and (ii) the minimum minor league salary provided for players in the Minors; provided, however, in no event may such an SPC provide for minor league compensation, including any bonuses for games played, greater than the amount indicated on the following chart:
2005: $62,500
2006: 62,500
2007: $65,000
2008: $65,000
2009: $67,500
2010: $67,500
2011: $70,000
Morals of the story:
The game: So the key to making money in the minors is get a second job? Which is probably forbidden somewhere in the CBA. Or give up and get an office job that will shrink your brain and expand your waistline and make you wish you were somewhere else. Ok, never mind, maybe the various indignities of playing in the minors aren't so bad.
Life: It's the hockey version of an HR manual, and it's just as complicated. Somewhere in every company's employee handbook I'm sure it says something similar, only it says something like "you shall work under the supervision of people less competent than yourself and make one-tenth of their salary and like it." What makes a major league player worth more than a minor league scrapper? And what makes VPs and directors more valuable than middle managers? Maybe it's this.... a piece of paper from a fancy school that your daddy bought and you didn't really have to earn. Or how about this...the ability to talk a good game without backing it up and instead delegating other people to do the work that you then take credit for. Alas, like hockey, life is not fair and nowhere is this more evident than the workplace. Therefore, I propose a new policy whereby all employees in every company will make the same salary until they can prove on paper and elsewhere that they deserve more and then and only then will they get a raise. And if they want that corner office, they'll have to first earn it by spending a minimum of five years trapped in a cube so that when said office becomes available they will appreciate it and not abuse it. And anyone who does not appreciate their good fortune will be subject to automatic firing without severance. Now, the only question is...why did I got into communications for a living, instead of HR? Discuss. And stay tuned for this: Article 10, Free Agency.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
What, No More Shootouts? Why Go On Living?
Major bummer alert: The NHL's Board of Governors has approved a new tiebreaker system in which, direct from nhl.com, "the tiebreaker among teams with the same total of points in the standings will go to the club with the most regulation and overtime wins - no longer including shootout wins in the decision." So, refresh me, why would I want to watch a game with no shootouts? I mean, really, why not ban fighting and swearing and just get it over with?" Even Gary Bettman is quoted in that same story as saying that their research overwhelmingly shows that fans like shootouts. Um....then why get rid of them? Chat amongst yourselves and let me know if you figure it out. Because I'm at a loss.
On the other hand: NHL pre-season games get underway on September 21, less than one week away. And I pick up my Portland Winterhawks' season tickets in one week. Shootouts or no, hockey is back on all fronts. I'm recommending my own rule for the 2011 - 2012 season, in which the off season will be reduced to a month. Because three months without live hockey action is three months too long. No research required.
Now, speaking of silly NHL rules: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.
9.3, Entry Level Compensation Limits: The maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be as follows:
Draft Year Compensation
2008 US $875,000
2009 US $900,000
2010 US $900,000
2011 US $925,000
If the NHLPA exercises its right to extend this Agreement until 2012 (which they have), the maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be U.S. $925,000.
Morals of the story:
The game: Dudes, if you make close to a million dollars at the entry level, the least the league can do for the people who pay your salary is let us watch a few shootouts now and again.
Life: If Ilya Kovalchuk and others find $100 million not to their liking, I'll take it. When I was 18, I made $3 an hour at a video store. This got me to thinking, and since we know my thoughts are more entertaining than reality...how do we define our worth in life? By the underpaid salary we earn? By what other people tell us? If companies paid us what we're really worth, they probably couldn't afford to stay in business. If other people had their own sense of self-esteem, they wouldn't need to attack yours. Worth in the NHL is defined by talent, stats, popularity with the media and fans, and the rules in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Therefore, I propose that the federal government introduce a CBA for working class Americans, in which entry level salary is at least six figures and subject to signing bonuses and what not, and in which we have the right to protest anything that infringes upon our rights, well-being, sanity or self-esteem. Hard working Americans are just as deserving of being well-rewarded as hockey players, and if I was queen for a day, we would be.
Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, part 3.
On the other hand: NHL pre-season games get underway on September 21, less than one week away. And I pick up my Portland Winterhawks' season tickets in one week. Shootouts or no, hockey is back on all fronts. I'm recommending my own rule for the 2011 - 2012 season, in which the off season will be reduced to a month. Because three months without live hockey action is three months too long. No research required.
Now, speaking of silly NHL rules: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.
9.3, Entry Level Compensation Limits: The maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be as follows:
Draft Year Compensation
2008 US $875,000
2009 US $900,000
2010 US $900,000
2011 US $925,000
If the NHLPA exercises its right to extend this Agreement until 2012 (which they have), the maximum annual aggregate Paragraph 1 NHL Salary, Signing Bonuses and games played bonuses permitted to be paid to a Group 1 Player shall be U.S. $925,000.
Morals of the story:
The game: Dudes, if you make close to a million dollars at the entry level, the least the league can do for the people who pay your salary is let us watch a few shootouts now and again.
Life: If Ilya Kovalchuk and others find $100 million not to their liking, I'll take it. When I was 18, I made $3 an hour at a video store. This got me to thinking, and since we know my thoughts are more entertaining than reality...how do we define our worth in life? By the underpaid salary we earn? By what other people tell us? If companies paid us what we're really worth, they probably couldn't afford to stay in business. If other people had their own sense of self-esteem, they wouldn't need to attack yours. Worth in the NHL is defined by talent, stats, popularity with the media and fans, and the rules in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Therefore, I propose that the federal government introduce a CBA for working class Americans, in which entry level salary is at least six figures and subject to signing bonuses and what not, and in which we have the right to protest anything that infringes upon our rights, well-being, sanity or self-esteem. Hard working Americans are just as deserving of being well-rewarded as hockey players, and if I was queen for a day, we would be.
Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, part 3.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Age Is Just a Number, Unless Your Employer Is the NHL.
The distraction: Here in Portland, the debacle over the #23 mystery player at our training camp has at last come to an end. The league has sanctioned the team with a fine for essentially hiding a non-drafted, ineligible player in plain sight. It may cost them a draft pick later to boot. Whoever it was and for whatever reason they did it, they obviously thought it was worth it. Enough said. Move on.
Me personally, I'm busy buying fatheads and Center Ice packages and jerseys and what not: I don't have time to give a rip about who he was. But I'm sure one way or another we'll see him down the road, so on with the countdown to the regular season. As of tomorrow, it will be exactly two weeks until the Portland Winterhawks' home opener. And later this month, my new home on Kukla's Korner will be unveiled. So, for me, it's a good season to be a hockey fan.
Of course, that's because I have plenty to distract me from the above mentioned debacle. Like this:
Article 8, Entry Draft: Since the Winterhawks have 13 players off to training camp, it seems appropriate to cover 8.6, Reserve List-Exclusive Rights, b) Drafted Players who leave the Major Juniors prior to age 20.
I hate numbers and love hockey, but alas: This rule is proof that hockey is all about numbers. If a player who is drafted as an 18-year-old ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, his drafting Club shall have the exclusive right of negotiation for his services until the fourth June1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft. But if he's 19 when he's drafted, and ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, the drafting Club only has exclusive negotiating rights until the third June 1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft.
I always wondered about how "hockey age" is defined, so I skipped ahead to this: 8.10, Age of Players. As used in this Article, "age 18" means a Player reaching his 18th birthday between January 1 preceeding the Entry Draft and September 15 next following the Entry Draft, both dates included: "age 19" means a Player reaching his nineteenth birthday by no later than September 15 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 20" means a Player reaching his twentieth birthday by no later than December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 21" means a Player reaching his twenty-first birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft and age "22" means a Player reaching his twenty-second birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft. So, this explains the "late birthday" phenomenon. There, I get it. Now I feel better.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, if you're Sidney Crosby, age 22 is defined as "any player who lifts the Stanley Cup before age 22 in the calendar year in which you won the cup" and thereby becomes the youngest captain to hoist the prized trophy.
Life: I never cared about age until I hit 40 and realized that even boys in their early 20s are young enough to be my son and my body decided that it needed to do things like make my knees hurt while hiking and not be able to read close up. That and this rule got me to thinking: why do we care so much about age? The most awesome things I've ever done with my life happened well after I crossed the 40 threshold and I'm not done yet. But society thinks otherwise. Even late thirties is equated with mid-life crises, divorce, disillusionment and suburban angst. What if we had a rule like this in life, that defined our age to a T? What if 30 was defined as what it is? Old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway. Or if 40 was understood to mean "bring it on." After all, if you make it that far, what else can life do to you? It's like, what else 'ya got for me?
My father used to say "life starts at 40" and now I get it. I may be well past the NHL's draft-eligible hockey age, but in life I'm just getting started. It's not too late until we're dead, and if 40 really is the end of the best years of your life, then why bother? Do I wish I could do a lot of things from my youth over? Of course. Would I go back to my 20s? Absolutely not. It was like being a teenager with credit cards and rent. Total nightmare. So, here's the deal: no, you can't go back in life, but as long as you're still breathing, you can always go forward.
Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.
Me personally, I'm busy buying fatheads and Center Ice packages and jerseys and what not: I don't have time to give a rip about who he was. But I'm sure one way or another we'll see him down the road, so on with the countdown to the regular season. As of tomorrow, it will be exactly two weeks until the Portland Winterhawks' home opener. And later this month, my new home on Kukla's Korner will be unveiled. So, for me, it's a good season to be a hockey fan.
Of course, that's because I have plenty to distract me from the above mentioned debacle. Like this:
Article 8, Entry Draft: Since the Winterhawks have 13 players off to training camp, it seems appropriate to cover 8.6, Reserve List-Exclusive Rights, b) Drafted Players who leave the Major Juniors prior to age 20.
I hate numbers and love hockey, but alas: This rule is proof that hockey is all about numbers. If a player who is drafted as an 18-year-old ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, his drafting Club shall have the exclusive right of negotiation for his services until the fourth June1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft. But if he's 19 when he's drafted, and ceases to play in the Juniors in the first League Year after he has been drafted, the drafting Club only has exclusive negotiating rights until the third June 1 following his initial selection in the Entry Draft.
I always wondered about how "hockey age" is defined, so I skipped ahead to this: 8.10, Age of Players. As used in this Article, "age 18" means a Player reaching his 18th birthday between January 1 preceeding the Entry Draft and September 15 next following the Entry Draft, both dates included: "age 19" means a Player reaching his nineteenth birthday by no later than September 15 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 20" means a Player reaching his twentieth birthday by no later than December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft: "age 21" means a Player reaching his twenty-first birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft and age "22" means a Player reaching his twenty-second birthday by December 31 in the calendar year of the Entry Draft. So, this explains the "late birthday" phenomenon. There, I get it. Now I feel better.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, if you're Sidney Crosby, age 22 is defined as "any player who lifts the Stanley Cup before age 22 in the calendar year in which you won the cup" and thereby becomes the youngest captain to hoist the prized trophy.
Life: I never cared about age until I hit 40 and realized that even boys in their early 20s are young enough to be my son and my body decided that it needed to do things like make my knees hurt while hiking and not be able to read close up. That and this rule got me to thinking: why do we care so much about age? The most awesome things I've ever done with my life happened well after I crossed the 40 threshold and I'm not done yet. But society thinks otherwise. Even late thirties is equated with mid-life crises, divorce, disillusionment and suburban angst. What if we had a rule like this in life, that defined our age to a T? What if 30 was defined as what it is? Old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway. Or if 40 was understood to mean "bring it on." After all, if you make it that far, what else can life do to you? It's like, what else 'ya got for me?
My father used to say "life starts at 40" and now I get it. I may be well past the NHL's draft-eligible hockey age, but in life I'm just getting started. It's not too late until we're dead, and if 40 really is the end of the best years of your life, then why bother? Do I wish I could do a lot of things from my youth over? Of course. Would I go back to my 20s? Absolutely not. It was like being a teenager with credit cards and rent. Total nightmare. So, here's the deal: no, you can't go back in life, but as long as you're still breathing, you can always go forward.
Next up: Article 9, Entry Level Compensation.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
All Players 18 or Older Are Eligible for NHL Greatness. Sort Of.
OMG. His deal is the devil: Kovalchuk's annual salary cap hit is going to be $6.66 million.
So I guess this just wouldn't do, then: In Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, players drafted in the 2010 Entry Draft can earn a whole $900,000 a year. But for now, let's find out how you get drafted in the first place:
Article 8, Entry Draft. Tonight, the basics:
8.2, Draft Choices. The Entry Draft shall consist of seven (7) rounds, with each round consisting of the same number of selection choices as there will be Clubs in the NHL the following League Year. Oh. So, this explains why there are 210 picks. Elementary, Dear Samantha. Since there is no hope for me when it comes to numbers, let's see if I can figure these out:
8.4, Eligibility for Claim. (a) All players 18 or older are eligible for claim in the Entry Draft, except:
(i) a Player on the Reserve List of a Club, other than as a try-out;
(ii) a Player who has been claimed in two prior Entry Drafts;
(iii) a Player who previously played in the League and became a Free Agent pursuant to this Agreement;
(iv) a Player age 21 or older who: (A) has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and (B) played hockey for at least one season in North America when he was age 18, 19 or 20 and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant Article 10 (d) and;
(v) a Player age 22 who has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant to Article 10.1 (d).
Morals of the story:
The game: So if players are keeping it simple, as they are wont to do, then I think the rule here is get drafted when you're 18 and proceed immediately to becoming an NHL superstar. But for fans here in Portland, it's a good thing it's not that simple. Two of our best draft picks this year were 20-year old Luke Walker, who went 139th to Colorado, right behind his teammate Troy Rutkowski (137th to the same team) and 19-year-old Riley Boychuk, who went 208th to Buffalo.
Life: What if corporate America had an eligibility claim rule for employees, which consisted of far more than faking your education on a resume and getting a few friends to front being a former boss who loved you, and instead required companies to hire a private investigator to check out why it is you were really let go from that fabulous VP job with a corner office and all the requisite perks? Naturally they would find out that you are a fraud, and instead of promoting employees who talk a good game without knowing how to play it, companies everywhere would be filled with happy, morally sound people who love what they do and get more done because of it. Oh right, this is America. Where, like hockey, it's not fair. And where the right thing is easier said than done. Wall Street and Toyota and BP have shown us that the easy way may last for a while, but it doesn't last forever and it's never the right way. To prevent said debacles, I say we take our cue from hockey players...keep it simple, put the pucks on net and stay out of the penalty box.
Next up: Cotinuing onward with Article 8, Entry Draft.
So I guess this just wouldn't do, then: In Article 9, Entry Level Compensation, players drafted in the 2010 Entry Draft can earn a whole $900,000 a year. But for now, let's find out how you get drafted in the first place:
Article 8, Entry Draft. Tonight, the basics:
8.2, Draft Choices. The Entry Draft shall consist of seven (7) rounds, with each round consisting of the same number of selection choices as there will be Clubs in the NHL the following League Year. Oh. So, this explains why there are 210 picks. Elementary, Dear Samantha. Since there is no hope for me when it comes to numbers, let's see if I can figure these out:
8.4, Eligibility for Claim. (a) All players 18 or older are eligible for claim in the Entry Draft, except:
(i) a Player on the Reserve List of a Club, other than as a try-out;
(ii) a Player who has been claimed in two prior Entry Drafts;
(iii) a Player who previously played in the League and became a Free Agent pursuant to this Agreement;
(iv) a Player age 21 or older who: (A) has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and (B) played hockey for at least one season in North America when he was age 18, 19 or 20 and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant Article 10 (d) and;
(v) a Player age 22 who has not been selected in a previous Entry Draft and shall be eligible to enter the League as an Unrestricted Free Agent pursuant to Article 10.1 (d).
Morals of the story:
The game: So if players are keeping it simple, as they are wont to do, then I think the rule here is get drafted when you're 18 and proceed immediately to becoming an NHL superstar. But for fans here in Portland, it's a good thing it's not that simple. Two of our best draft picks this year were 20-year old Luke Walker, who went 139th to Colorado, right behind his teammate Troy Rutkowski (137th to the same team) and 19-year-old Riley Boychuk, who went 208th to Buffalo.
Life: What if corporate America had an eligibility claim rule for employees, which consisted of far more than faking your education on a resume and getting a few friends to front being a former boss who loved you, and instead required companies to hire a private investigator to check out why it is you were really let go from that fabulous VP job with a corner office and all the requisite perks? Naturally they would find out that you are a fraud, and instead of promoting employees who talk a good game without knowing how to play it, companies everywhere would be filled with happy, morally sound people who love what they do and get more done because of it. Oh right, this is America. Where, like hockey, it's not fair. And where the right thing is easier said than done. Wall Street and Toyota and BP have shown us that the easy way may last for a while, but it doesn't last forever and it's never the right way. To prevent said debacles, I say we take our cue from hockey players...keep it simple, put the pucks on net and stay out of the penalty box.
Next up: Cotinuing onward with Article 8, Entry Draft.
Monday, September 6, 2010
From Time to Time, the NHL Will Allow Players to Negotiate Their Own Deals.
The distraction: Keeping track of the 10-plus Portland Winterhawk draftees who are off to NHL training camps this week.
The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 5, Management Rights. Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.
Refresh me, who exactly is in charge here?: Article 5, Management Rights. Each Club and, where appropriate, the League, in exercise of its functions of management, shall in addition to its other inherent and legal rights to manage its business, including the direction and control of its team, have the right at any time and from time to time to determine when, where, how and under what circumstances it wishes to operate, suspend, discontinue, sell or move and to determine the manner and the rules by which its team shall play hockey. Nothing in this article shall, however, authorize a Club or the League to violate any provision of this Agreement or of any SPC.
Pretty standard stuff, except for 6.2: Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification. 6.1. Among the provisions in this section: The Clubs may not engage in negotiations for a Player's SPC (standard player contract) with any person other than the Player or an agent certified by the NHLPA ("Certified Agent"). Which is restated in 6.2, Player SPCs. No Club shall enter into a Player SPC with any Player, and the NHL shall not register or approve any SPC unless such Player: (i) was represented in the negotiations by a Certified Agent or (ii) if Player has no Certified Agent, acts on his own behalf in negotiating such SPC.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, how is "time to time" defined, exactly? When the team feels like, say, circumventing rules and paying players more money than God for longer than they'll even be playing in the League? I know. One day I will get over it. Today is not that day. Now, if only he'd acted on his own behalf and didn't have an agent who saw a 20 - 30 percent commission in that ridiculous agreement...
Life: We need Standard Employee Contracts and Certified Agents in corporate America. Only in my collective bargaining agreement, no employee will be permitted to negotiate their own deal because clearly we already do that and we get screwed. We definitely need agents and there definitely need to be some minimum requirements, like say.... 4 weeks paid vacation, immediate firing of bosses who are less qualified than we are for our jobs and permission to hang up on any customer who commits the life version of "Abuse of Officials."
Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Skipping Ahead to Article 8, Entry Draft.
The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 5, Management Rights. Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.
Refresh me, who exactly is in charge here?: Article 5, Management Rights. Each Club and, where appropriate, the League, in exercise of its functions of management, shall in addition to its other inherent and legal rights to manage its business, including the direction and control of its team, have the right at any time and from time to time to determine when, where, how and under what circumstances it wishes to operate, suspend, discontinue, sell or move and to determine the manner and the rules by which its team shall play hockey. Nothing in this article shall, however, authorize a Club or the League to violate any provision of this Agreement or of any SPC.
Pretty standard stuff, except for 6.2: Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification. 6.1. Among the provisions in this section: The Clubs may not engage in negotiations for a Player's SPC (standard player contract) with any person other than the Player or an agent certified by the NHLPA ("Certified Agent"). Which is restated in 6.2, Player SPCs. No Club shall enter into a Player SPC with any Player, and the NHL shall not register or approve any SPC unless such Player: (i) was represented in the negotiations by a Certified Agent or (ii) if Player has no Certified Agent, acts on his own behalf in negotiating such SPC.
Morals of the story:
The game: So, how is "time to time" defined, exactly? When the team feels like, say, circumventing rules and paying players more money than God for longer than they'll even be playing in the League? I know. One day I will get over it. Today is not that day. Now, if only he'd acted on his own behalf and didn't have an agent who saw a 20 - 30 percent commission in that ridiculous agreement...
Life: We need Standard Employee Contracts and Certified Agents in corporate America. Only in my collective bargaining agreement, no employee will be permitted to negotiate their own deal because clearly we already do that and we get screwed. We definitely need agents and there definitely need to be some minimum requirements, like say.... 4 weeks paid vacation, immediate firing of bosses who are less qualified than we are for our jobs and permission to hang up on any customer who commits the life version of "Abuse of Officials."
Next up: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Skipping Ahead to Article 8, Entry Draft.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Gotta Keep It Simple if You're Going to Cut an Outrageous NHL Salary Deal.
The distraction: Keeping track of how the Portland Winterhawks are doing at the pre-season tournament Everett. It's looking good so far. We cooked archrival Seattle 4 - 1 on Friday.
And this, at last: Kovalchuk has made his deal with the Devils, and all inquiries into similar deals have been halted.
Oh the horror of making more money in 15 years than most people will make in their whole lives: The deal is reportedly for $100 million and 15 years, instead of the original $102 million over 17 years. 2 years and $2 million is all it took. And he still makes more money than God at the end of the day. Oh, the tragedy of having to settle for second best.
The article: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off.
I thought it was some kind of list, but oh no, not the NHL. It can't be that simple now can it?: 4.2, Check-Off. Each Club will deduct from the Paragraph 1 Salary of each Player who voluntarily authorizes and directs such deduction in accordance with this article, an amount shall be deducted from the Player's Paragraph 1 NHL Salary on a monthly basis and shall be remitted by the Club to the NHLPA. The NHLPA shall advise each Club in writing as to the amount to be deducted for each deduction period. Each such authorization by a Player shall be in writing in the form attached hereto as Exhibit 2, and shall be governed by the provisions hereof.
Morals of the story:
The game: It's like tax deductions for players. I wonder what Kovalchuk's deduction will be for his shiny new deal? It should be like taxes in that the more you make, the more they take. So he could fund his membership in the NHLPA and that of all of his teammates for what, say...the next 20 years?
Life: You see how these rules are written, and it's no wonder players get duped by agents and managers and the NHL when it comes to their money, and they end up with nothing even though they made enough in one year to live on forever. It's a lot like life. We complicate it more than we need to. Whether it be the rules that tell us what we owe in taxes, how our company tells us we must do business or how many cell phone minutes we get each month, it's all way more tangled up than it needs to be. That's why my favorite hockey quote cliche is "we just gotta keep it simple and play our game." We have to, but why don't we? With training camps around the corner, I say we treat the start of the season like a New Year's resolution. Top of my list this year is "keep it simple."
Next up on 9/5: Article 5, Management Rights and Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.
And this, at last: Kovalchuk has made his deal with the Devils, and all inquiries into similar deals have been halted.
Oh the horror of making more money in 15 years than most people will make in their whole lives: The deal is reportedly for $100 million and 15 years, instead of the original $102 million over 17 years. 2 years and $2 million is all it took. And he still makes more money than God at the end of the day. Oh, the tragedy of having to settle for second best.
The article: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off.
I thought it was some kind of list, but oh no, not the NHL. It can't be that simple now can it?: 4.2, Check-Off. Each Club will deduct from the Paragraph 1 Salary of each Player who voluntarily authorizes and directs such deduction in accordance with this article, an amount shall be deducted from the Player's Paragraph 1 NHL Salary on a monthly basis and shall be remitted by the Club to the NHLPA. The NHLPA shall advise each Club in writing as to the amount to be deducted for each deduction period. Each such authorization by a Player shall be in writing in the form attached hereto as Exhibit 2, and shall be governed by the provisions hereof.
Morals of the story:
The game: It's like tax deductions for players. I wonder what Kovalchuk's deduction will be for his shiny new deal? It should be like taxes in that the more you make, the more they take. So he could fund his membership in the NHLPA and that of all of his teammates for what, say...the next 20 years?
Life: You see how these rules are written, and it's no wonder players get duped by agents and managers and the NHL when it comes to their money, and they end up with nothing even though they made enough in one year to live on forever. It's a lot like life. We complicate it more than we need to. Whether it be the rules that tell us what we owe in taxes, how our company tells us we must do business or how many cell phone minutes we get each month, it's all way more tangled up than it needs to be. That's why my favorite hockey quote cliche is "we just gotta keep it simple and play our game." We have to, but why don't we? With training camps around the corner, I say we treat the start of the season like a New Year's resolution. Top of my list this year is "keep it simple."
Next up on 9/5: Article 5, Management Rights and Article 6, NHLPA Agent Certification.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I Recognize That I Need to Get Myself a Better Deal.
I'm tired already: I think I understand now why there are still free agents on the market with only a month to go until the regular season. Because this agreement makes it impossible to make a move without at least 10 people getting involved in a player signing a contract. Because all parties are protected by the same agreement. And because a whole lotta lawyers needed jobs.
The rules: Article 2, Recognition.
2.1, Recognition: The NHL recognizes the NHLPA as the exclusive bargaining representative of all present and future Players employed as such in the League by the Clubs, but not including any other Club employees. The NHL and NHLPA agree that notwithstanding the foregoing, and to the extent consistent with this Agreement, such Players, acting individually or through Certified Agents, and Clubs may, on an individual basis, bargain with respect to and agree upon an individual Player Salary and Bonuses over and above the minimum requirements established herein and other provisions that are not inconsistent with the terms of the Agreement.
I love this part: "Acting individually." How exactly does a humble hockey player who skipped law and/or business school in favor of sport act individually when this 475-page, legal-speak document is in his way?
3.2, Binding Agreement: This Agreement shall be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the NHL, the Clubs, the NHLPA and all Players, and their respective successors or assigns.
Morals of the story:
The game: Ok, I can't help it. It's late on a Wednesday: Does the "over and above" part include Kovalchuk's deal with the Devils? There I said it. Now I feel better.
Life: Maybe if I'd had an entourage of lawyers, managers, agents and assorted others working for me, I would have negotiated myself a better deal in terms of salary and career. I thought I was doing alright, but I see this and I think you know, we really should have a collective bargaining agreement in life. If us humble peons don't agree to the paltry working-class salary that we get offered by corporate America, our employers should be bound by law to come to a more agreeable arrangement, like say, four weeks' vacation and guaranteed bonuses twice a year, at a minimum. Hey, it works for hockey players, why not for fans?
Next up on 9/3: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off. Article 5, Management Rights.
The rules: Article 2, Recognition.
2.1, Recognition: The NHL recognizes the NHLPA as the exclusive bargaining representative of all present and future Players employed as such in the League by the Clubs, but not including any other Club employees. The NHL and NHLPA agree that notwithstanding the foregoing, and to the extent consistent with this Agreement, such Players, acting individually or through Certified Agents, and Clubs may, on an individual basis, bargain with respect to and agree upon an individual Player Salary and Bonuses over and above the minimum requirements established herein and other provisions that are not inconsistent with the terms of the Agreement.
I love this part: "Acting individually." How exactly does a humble hockey player who skipped law and/or business school in favor of sport act individually when this 475-page, legal-speak document is in his way?
3.2, Binding Agreement: This Agreement shall be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the NHL, the Clubs, the NHLPA and all Players, and their respective successors or assigns.
Morals of the story:
The game: Ok, I can't help it. It's late on a Wednesday: Does the "over and above" part include Kovalchuk's deal with the Devils? There I said it. Now I feel better.
Life: Maybe if I'd had an entourage of lawyers, managers, agents and assorted others working for me, I would have negotiated myself a better deal in terms of salary and career. I thought I was doing alright, but I see this and I think you know, we really should have a collective bargaining agreement in life. If us humble peons don't agree to the paltry working-class salary that we get offered by corporate America, our employers should be bound by law to come to a more agreeable arrangement, like say, four weeks' vacation and guaranteed bonuses twice a year, at a minimum. Hey, it works for hockey players, why not for fans?
Next up on 9/3: Article 4, Union Security and Check-Off. Article 5, Management Rights.
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