Automatic Game Misconduct for Oggling Large, Pretty Hockey Players.

The distraction: Re-reading a back issue of The Fourth Period with the LA Kings on the cover. Among their predictions: that big things were en route from rookies Tyler Myers, Matt Duchene and the Anaheim Ducks' Bobby Ryan. Note to self: subscribe to The Fourth Period. Oh, and the cover photo that included Anze Kopitar and Jarret Stoll: Hot. End of distraction.

The rule: Section 5, Penalties. Other Penalties. Rule 561, Interference with Spectators. Rule 562, Players Leaving the Penalty or Player's Bench.

561: A player who physically interferes with a spectator shall be assessed, at the discretion of the Referee, a match penalty.

562.a: If a player leaves the penalty or player's bench and incurs a minor, major or misconduct penalty shall be assessed an automatic game misconduct penalty.

562.b: If a player illegally enters the game and interferes with a player of the opposing team in possession of the puck, who has no opponent between him and the goalkeeper, the Referee shall award to the non-offending team a penalty shot. If this happens and the opposing goalkeeper has been removed from the ice, the Referee shall award to the non-offending team a goal.

Morals of the story:

The game: Ok, but what about that time Ryan Getzlaf squirted Gatorade at the glass in the penalty box at a fan who was taunting him? Maybe just a minor penalty for non-physical interference, perhaps?

Life: Could we vote for a new law that would assess an automatic game misconduct be assessed every time other people enter a work situation illegally, that being one that was working just fine and they screw it up out of the need to show how they are "taking charge?" Or perhaps for drivers who pull out of a side street and interfere with your ability to keep driving and not slam on the brakes just in time to miss hitting them? I could go on, but it's getting late. I'm just saying that modern life needs way more game misconducts that we have at present. And if we did, safe driving, efficient working class girls like myself would get more done in a day.

Next up on 7/19: Section 5, Penalties. Other Penalties. Rule 563, Players Leaving the Player's Bench. Rule 564, Players Leaving the Benches During an Altercation.