The Rulebook End Is Nigh...Now What?

The distraction/shameless self-promotion: My new all-Portland Winterhawks blog at oregonlive.com. You can check it out here: http://www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

All good things must come to an end: Like the IIHF Rulebook. I should be done with it this weekend. Have no fear, it's on to the NHL's Collective Bargaining Agreement. And this fall, a new home for this blog on Kukla's Korner. More on that in coming weeks.

The rule: Annex 5, Duties of the Officials. Rule A4.21, Scorekeeper's Duties Before the Game. A 4.22, Scorekeeper's Duties During the Game. A4.23, Scorekeeper's Duties After the Game.

A4.21: The scorekeeper must obtain from the Manager or Coach of both teams a list of all eligible players, including their name, position and number, as well as all data concerning the game.

A4.22: The scorekeeper records on the official game sheet the following: goals, number of scorers and players to whom assists are awarded, players on the ice when a goal is scored, penalties, penalty shot, name of player who took the penalty shot and result of the penalty shot and time of entry into the game of a substitute goalkeeper. He is also responsible for correct posting of goals and penalties on the scoreboard, ensuring that time served for penalties is correct, advising the Referee when the same player has received his second misconduct penalty in the same game, and notifying the Referee if a player not on the Official Game Sheet is participating in the game.

A4.23: The scorekeeper prepares the Official Game Sheet for signature by the Referee and forward it to the Proper Authorities.

Morals of the story:

The game: Is there anything the scorekeeper doesn't do? Maybe if you pay him a bonus he'll make coffee and hot chocolate for everybody before the game too.

Life: Scorekeepers in hockey are a lot like accountants and project managers and administrative assistants in Corporate America. They keep track of everything and run the company, while the boss gets his name on the scoreboard. And the reward is the same too: zero, except for maybe a thanks from the boss for keeping everybody in line. There should be a reward-based rule for life's scorekeepers, in which they get a small treat in the form of their favorite snack or beverage every time they properly record and report life's details, followed by a large meal (with wine, of course) when they turn in the scoresheet to the proper authorities. Of course, I've never advanced past middle management either, so perhaps my theories shouldn't be trusted. But still, if I were queen, the work day would be 6 hours long, we'd all eat chocolate around 3 everyday and all employees who live to work and never enjoy a treat would be immediately fired.

Next up: Annex 5, Duties of the Officials. A4.25, Timekeeper's Duties.