Sunday, August 8, 2010

3-2-1, Face Off!

The distraction: Awaiting the outcome of the ruling about Kovalchuk's 17-year deal with New Jersey. Personally, I'm all in for ruling against it, but that's just me. I actually remember the lockout and what led to it.

The rule: Annex 2, Game Countdown and Warm-Up Procedures.

In every other way they're totally casual and less wordy, but: When it comes to countdowns, Europeans don't mess around. This rule lists, by the minute, what's supposed to happen leading up to the opening face-off. For example:

-- 60:00. 20-minute count down to the pre-game warm-up begins on the Game Clock. Teams submit their completed Team Composition Forms to the Scorekeeper. Media centre receives a copy of the preliminary team line-up. game officials warm-up.

-- 10:00. Teams receive a photocopy of the Official Game Sheet. Referee and Linesmen receive a photocopy of the Official Game Sheet. Doping Control receive a copy of the Official Game Sheet. Announcer announces the entire roster for both teams.

-- 7:00. Referee and Linesmen are notified that one minute remains until they need to proceed to the ice surface.

-- 6:00. Teams are advised they have one minute remaining until they need to proceed to the ice surface. Referee and Linesmen leave their dressing room and go immediately to the ice surface.

-- 4:00. Teams enter the ice surface.

-- 2:30. Both teams line-up on their respective blue lines.

-- 2:00. Team Captains greet the Referee and Linesmen in the Referee's Crease.

-- 1:00. Teams leave the ice to the players' benches. Starting players remain on the ice.

00:15. Referee calls the teams to center ice for the opening face-off.

00:00. Opening face-off.

Morals of the story:

The game: Funny how there's so much fuss off the ice, at the game, before the game, after the game, on blogs, on Twitter, all about who's going to win, who should start, what line-up a team is going to start with, what went wrong, stars of the night, blah, blah, blah. And yet, the game itself leaves no time for fuss. 60 minutes, and it's all accounted for. Think of what we could accomplish if we treated life like a clock and we made use of every minute instead of dilly dallying or procrastinating or making a fuss about things that aren't important. It boggles the mind, really.

Life: I am the absolutely worst morning person in the world, hands down. Nobody could top me when it comes to not getting up and not caring what in the flip I look like once I get it together and get out the door. So, clearly, I need this rule for my life, and there should be corresponding buzzers and penalties and what not if I don't follow it:

-- 60:00. Turn off alarm with snooze alarm.

-- 55:00. Turn off alarm with snooze alarm.

-- 50:00. Turn off alarm, period, and get ass out of bed.

-- 49:00. Put kettle on to boil water for french press. Turn on shower.

-- 39:00. Attempt to pour cereal into bowl and eat before the Apple Jacks color the milk pink.

-- 30:00. Try to tame unruly mane into a presentable pile of blow dried, properly gelled hair that won't go poof when I go outside.

-- 15:00. Make edible lunch out of bread, tuna, pickles and mayonnaise. Yes, I put pickles in the tuna and on the sandwich. Get over it.

05:00. Leave house to get to bus stop on time.

Is this how my morning schedule normally goes? No. The tuna sandwich rarely happens, I don't dry and gel the do, I hit the snooze alarm for 20 minutes and if I'm lucky, I make it to the bus without running for it. But it's the thought that counts.

Next up: Annex 3, Official Announcements.

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