Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Shoot The Puck! I Go In The Goal Crease!

The game: Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa, Game 6, Stanley Cup Playoff Quarterfinal.

Why I chose it: Because the Pens are the masters of the comeback. Because I'm all in for Pittsburgh vs. Chicago in the finals. Because this Peter Regin is totally hot, all around.

Now, this is what I like to see: In the WHL playoffs, the Tri-City Americans are leading the series against the Vancouver Giants 3-2.

And I like to see this even more: Pittsburgh 4, Ottawa 3 in OT. The Penguins showing how in 2009, they went from 10th in the Eastern Conference to the Stanley Cup in 3 months, under the tutelage of a rookie coach...and why they should never be underestimated. Want to know why I'm in for them to repeat their Stanley Cup victory? Watch the replay of this game.

Ok, so I sorta get it, but not really: I saw this when I read through the rules more carefully. An intentional offside is made for the purpose of causing a stoppage of play, regardless of the reason. Desperation in my general life experience is never a good reason to do anything.

The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 471, Disallowing a Goal.

Why not just go for a perfect 10 on this?: There are nine reasons for which a goal is disallowed. And I'm pretty sure almost all of them have happened at least once during these playoffs. These include:

471.1. If an attacking player deliberately kicks, throws, bats with the hands or otherwise directs the puck by any means other than his stick into the goal net even if the puck has been further deflected by any player, goalkeeper or official.

471.2. If an attacking player contacted the puck with the stick above the cross bar.

471.4. If an attacking player stands or holds his stick in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless he has been physically interfered with, by the action of any defending player so as to cause him to be in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless in the opinion of the Referee, he had sufficient time to get out of the crease or unless Rule 470 applies.

Morals of the story:

The game: First, and most importantly, where was Peter Regin during the regular season and why wasn't I paying attention to something that hot? Note to self: move to Denmark, where apparently they are hoarding some of the world's best looking hockey talent. Secondly, I still don't know how you have time to get out of the goal crease, but I'll be on the lookout, in the event I should see a 6 foot 5, 2oo-some-odd pound hockey player who's fast enough to get out in enough time.

Life: Why can't we have a disallowed goal for every stupid-ass thing we do in life that we thought was cool at the time, but really wasn't? The goal in this case being the thing we shouldn't have done, such as: moving to New York City with a plan, without money and without back-up, perming my hair in senior year, wearing white pantyhose in public, the all-forest green suit (including matching green pantyhose and shoes) that I wore to the first day of my first job in the Big Apple and letting a few nice guys get away because I was too young to appreciate them. In this case, there would be the life equivalent of a video goal judge who would review said action and give me one more chance, along with some instructions for how to pick a nice, reliable boyfriend next time and some photos of clothing that will not horrify the general public.

Next up on 4/25: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 472, Goal and Assist Awarded to the Player.

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