Monday, May 3, 2010

Vancouver Should Stop Interfering With Chicago Getting to the Stanley Cup Final

The game: Chicago vs. Vancouver.

Why I chose it: One word...revenge. Game on. This Philly vs. Boston game tied at 2-2 with 6 minutes to go in the third isn't bad either. Way to go Bruins with the third goal.

The weather must know hockey is still on: It's May and it's like freakin' winter outside. My geraniums are definitely done for the moment. Much like the Winterhawks, who like I said are still beautiful. And still worth the season tickets I just bought.

Speaking of junior hockey: Among the boys taken in last week's Bantam Draft, one is from Arizona. Amen. Of course, the majority are from Alberta, but still. Who cares? He's like a one-man Jamaican bobsledding team.

The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 493, Interference by Spectators.

To refresh, hockey is not for pussies: Once again, unless somebody is bleeding out their eyeballs, there's no need to interrupt a perfectly good scoring opportunity. 493.b. In the event of a player being held or interfered with by a spectator, the Referee or the Linesman shall stop the play. If the team of the player interfered with is in possession of the puck, the play shall be allowed to be completed.

Morals of the story:

The game: Explain to me how a player is supposed to continue playing if he's being held by a spectator. Speaking of which, how exactly do spectators even get on the ice? And if the player defends himself, does he get a penalty for knocking the fan into the boards?

Life: We get spectators interfering with our lives all the time: busybody relatives who want to set you up with the cute guy in their office not that bad boy you're wasting time on; friends who give you bad advice about that outfit that really, you shouldn't wear in public; and micromanaging bosses. And like hockey, play carries on whether you are in posssession of the puck or not. For life, I think there should be more than a stoppage of play and a face-off. For offenses of the aforementioned nature, there will be a minimum of a minor penalty in the form of a "Life Ref" who will pull the offending individual aside, give the friendly reminder to bugger off, sit them down in a small box and take away their mobile devices so they can sit and think instead of calling other friends and relatives to validate their bad advice.

Next up on 5/4: Section 5, Penalties. Rule 500, Penalties: Definitions and Procedures.

No comments:

Post a Comment