Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Way to San Jose is Through the Second Round of the Playoffs

The game: San Jose vs. Detroit.

Somebody owes me a beer: Final score...San Jose 2, Detroit 1. In with the Sharks, out with the old, thank you very much Patrick Marleau.

As for my favorites, the Penguins: So, some different stars are shining during this playoffs in lieu of the usual favorites, so what? Isn't that what the playoffs are all about? Besides, they have a long way to go before it's all said and done, so I wouldn't count anybody out just yet.

The rules: Section 5, Penalties. Rule 509, Penalty Shot Procedure. Rule 510, Supplementary Discipline.

Of course there's a separate rule for the procedure: And of course it's different from the NHL. 509.c. The players of both teams shall withdraw to the sides of the rink and behind the redline. But here's something I didn't know: The time required for taking a Penalty Shot shall not be recorded in the actual playing time in any period.

It's the same rule, but it just sounds so much better in this book: 510, Supplementary Discipline. In addition to the suspension imposed under these rules, the Proper Authorities may, at any time after the conclusion of the game, investigate any incident and may assess additional suspensions for any offence committed on or off the ice at any time before during or after the game, whether or not such offences have been penalized by the Referee.

Morals of the story:

The game: Supplementary Discipline is the failsafe of hockey. It's like, if you thought you got away with that elbow or that open ice hit, forget it. They can still nail you. But the good news is there's also "do over" rules like the Penalty Shot. If you are en route to a perfectly good goal, and someone obviously gets in your way, they suffer the consequences. It's good to know even in hockey there is occasionally justice.

Life: Bad drivers definitely need the supplementary discipline rule. If you have merelly been slapped on the wrist for offenses that endanger others, such as DUI, speeding, tailgating and cutting other motorists off in traffic, drivers with flawless records who abide by the law shall be given free devices by the department of motor vehicles that, when activated, will automatically put the brakes on in the offender's car and force his or her vehicle to pull over to the side of the road and cause the engine to die immediately upon stoppage. Said device may also be used to delay tow trucks from reaching the stopped offending vehicle for two or three hours, forcing them to either risk their own safety as punishment and walk home, or sit and think about their actions while they wait to be towed.

Next up: Section 5, Penalties. Rule 511, Goalkeeper Penalty Procedure. Rule 512, Coincidental Penalties.

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