Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Go Ahead, Whine About Your Multimillion Dollar Salary..the NHL Dares You.

The games: Anaheim vs. Tampa Bay. Dallas vs. Pittsburgh.

Why I chose them: It's Honkin' Tall French Captain and cutie pie Swiss goalie staring each other down the barrel of a hockey gun. Why not watch it?

An evil comeback plan has been hatched in Tampa: And I like it. And did you notice that the combination of holding a master's degree in sports pychology and having an unexplained scar on his face just makes Guy Boucher more of an evil genius that other NHL teams should fear? Discuss.

Ok, that's it, the Pens are officially annoying me: I know Staal's down and all, but really, get it together dudes. I just grew a new gray hair. Scratch that, I'm pretty sure I'm up to three. Stop, already. On the other hand: No sooner did Dallas Captain and former Portland Winterhawks Brenden Morrow drop the mitts than Sidney Crosby followed suit. And Crosby does not screw around when he goes at it. He just starts and doesn't stop until the other guy goes down. They may be losing the game, but damn sure he's not gonna lose the fight.

It's going to be a long, quiet flight to the next gig: With 14 minutes to go, it's Dallas 5, Pittsburgh 1.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 12, Salary Arbitration.

12.1 (a) A player is eligible for salary arbitration if the Player meets the qualifications set forth in the following chart and in Section 12.1 below: Players who are 18 - 20 must have 4 years of professional experience. Players who are 21 years of age must have 3 years of professional experience. Players ages 22 - 23 must have 2 years of professional experience. Players 24 and older must have one year of professional experience. "Professional experience" qualifies as 10
games or more in a given season.

Morals of the story:

The game: So why is it then, that the players who need more experience to qualify for salary arbitration are the ones least likely to get it and the ones who need less will have easily qualified? Oh. Wait a minute. Ok. I get it. In other aspects of life, I believe we call it seniority.

Life: I grew up in old fashioned household, where elders were respected and if you were young and stepped out of line, somebody was there to remind you that you didn't know diddly and that my grandparents walked 7 miles uphill in the snow with the dog just to get to the little two-room schoolhouse with no heat and a teacher who rapped your knuckles with a ruler if you misbehaved, so I could just suck whatever it was I was whining about right up. That's kind of what this rule is. The younger and sassier you are, the less chance you have to complain that the $50 million deal plus bonuses and quality time on ice just isn't quite cutting it. Works for me.

Next up: Article 12, Salary Arbitration. 12.3, Eligibility for Club-Elected Salary Arbitration.

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