Bantam Draft Day was good to us: And, we got some players who may very well win the Winterhawks' prize for most unusual or original name, thereby at least tying our current prize winners and Swiss talents extraordinaire Nino Niederreiter and Luca Sbisa. Check this out..among our draft picks yesterday were:
Bryson Gore -- Forward, Lethbridge, 10th round, 214th overall.
Steen Cooper -- Forward, Cowichan Valley, 4th round, 74th overall.
Preston Kopeck - Center, Medicine Hat, 3rd round, 60th overall.
Inquiring minds want to know: Is it written somewhere that even the smallest of towns in Canada must have a hockey team, NHL, junior or otherwise? I was just plotting my summer vacay to the Okanagan Valley, and I may have to rethink the timing because every town I looked at has a junior or other type of hockey team.
Major dilemma alert: Pittsburgh is playing Montreal in the second round of the NHL playoffs. My two favorite teams and one of them is going down. Alas, once again how like life hockey is. It's so not fair, but I'm still all in for the Penguins and Chicago in the final.
The game: Pittsburgh vs. Montreal, Game 1, Round 2.
The rules: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 482, Puck Out of Sight. Rule 483, Illegal Puck.
At last, a face-off rule I understand: Rule 482, Puck Out of Sight. Should a scramble take place or a player accidentally falls on the puck and the puck is out of sight of the Referee, he shall immediately stop the play, and the puck shall be faced-off at the point where the play has been stopped, unless provided for in the rules.
Next time you're at a Winterhawks game, try this, I dare you: Well, ok, not really but still, I wonder who would do this and why. If, at any time, while play is in progress, a puck other than the one legally in play shall appear on the playing surface, the play shall not be stopped until the play then in progress is completed by change of possession.
Morals of the story:
The game: It's the "shall appear" that I find intriguing. How exactly does a puck appear? Are hockey teams running a little magic show on the side? Also, why isn't play stopped right away? Personally, I think a contraband puck is reason enough, but I'm finding that hockey really is not for pussies, because basically unless you drop dead or get seriously injured, according to most of these rules, they carry right on.
Life: Do you ever have those days where you wish you could just go out of sight like a puck? Just for a little while now and again, I'd love it if I could just disappear such that life versions of Referees like bosses and traffic police and aggressive salespeople in Nordstrom just couldn't see me for a few minutes and they would have to stop what they were doing and go back to a face-off spot and hide until I'm done shopping, turning without signaling or blogging from my work computer.
Next up on 5/1: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 484, Puck Striking an Official. Rule 485, Stopping/Passing the Puck with Hands.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
It Was a Long, Strange Trip from Bankruptcy to the Playoffs
The games: Phoenix vs. Detroit. Montreal vs. Washington.
So, my team went down to the Red Wings: But considering where Phoenix started, first round of the playoffs exceeded expectations. And I don't say this often, because I am admittedly not a girly girl and was very likely a boy in another life...but here it is:
It truly does warm the heart to see the fans on their feet, cheering Phoenix in the handshake line the same as if they'd won, and to see the Coyotes raise their sticks to acknowledge the audience. There. I said it. I feel better. I've had my girly girl moment...now I can go back to using the f-word, banning pink from my wardrobe, home decor and bathroom accessories and logging onto hockeyfights.com to watch the Brett Ponich vs. Andy Blanke fight for the zillionth time.
And how about Montreal?: I had a bet with my friend Mike about the first round, and I was only right about one team in each conference. But I have never been more glad to be wrong about the Washington vs. Montreal series. I wanted to go with my heart on the Habs, but I went with logic. Never again. Felicitations, Les Habs, and bonne chance.
Back on the home front: It is just under two months to the NHL Draft and tomorrow is the Bantam Draft. The Portland Winterhawks' near future is already bright, and tomorrow we await results from the Bantam Draft to see how much brighter it will be in the long term. As for the NHL Draft, we have 6 players who are eligible and all are ranked somewhere on the Central Scouting List: Ryan Johansen, Nino Niederreiter, Troy Rutkowski, Taylor Aronson, Brad Ross and goalie Mac Carruth. And yes, I will be sitting home watching the full NHL Network coverage of draft day. Duh.
And, even though I know this probably won't happen because of the draft order and all, here are my picks for where I'd like to see these players land:
Ryan: Vancouver Canucks. Genius playmakers are always in style, but they are even more fashionable when they are roaming freely around my favorite city. Backup choice: LA Kings.
Nino: Chicago Blackhawks. A worldly boy in one of the world's best cities, playing for a team that's just as hot as he is right now.
Brad: Philadelphia Flyers. An easy choice. Brad leads the Hawks in penalty minutes.
Troy: Pittsburgh Penguins. Outstanding defenseman going quietly about the business of scoring a goal now and again. Plus, he was brave enough to serve as Nino's chauffeur for most of the season. He can handle anything after that.
Taylor: Anaheim Ducks. He's from that part of the world, and they need all the help they can get to come back around into the playoffs next year, especially if it's a high-scoring defenseman.
Mac: Dallas Stars. Marty Turco is out. They need fresh talent. And he'd join former Winterhawk and Dallas captain Brenden Morrow on the roster.
Will any of these predictions happen? Probably not. But as I'm finding in the playoffs, sometimes it's better to vote with your heart.
Oh right, the rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 480, Puck Out of Bounds. Rule 481, Puck on the Net.
480, Puck out of Bounds: When the puck goes out the playing area or strikes any obstacles, other than the boards or protective glass above the ice surface, the play shall be stopped and the face-off shall take place at the nearest point on the imaginary line from where the puck was shot or deflected, unless otherwise expressly provided in these rules.
481, Puck on the Net. When the puck is lodged in the outside netting of the goal net for more than three seconds or held against the goal net between opposing players, the Referee shall stop the play and a face-off:
1. At the nearest end-zone face-off spot.
2. At the nearest neutral zone face-off spot if, in the opinion of the Referee, the stoppage has been caused by an attacking player.
Morals of the story:
The game: I will never again be able to listen to the post-game/intermission go-to cliche "we just have to get pucks on net" the same way again. What's wrong with "pucks IN the net?" I mean, really, you don't want a puck ON the net, now do you? And who decided the three second minimum? I say give it three minutes and let them go at it to get it out of there. There's bound to be one or two fights in the meantime...what's the harm?
Life: In life, I prefer to be out of bounds. As often and as freely as possible. I like to be everything I'm not supposed to. I like saying and doing the thing nobody wants to hear or has the balls to do. Living a nice neat life where I graduated from college, got married before 30 and had 2.3 kids with the matching dog, cat and goldfish is fine if that's really what you want. If it is, then run don't walk to that life. But I don't and I never have. Many a boyfriend left and married their ex-girlfriends instead of me because I didn't fit their checklist for an ideal wife. One of them even showed me his, and it included: younger than him (I was two years older) preferably no taller than him (I was 2 inches taller in bare feet), willing to live in the suburbs (I'd rather die), love dogs (walk around picking up poo in a little bag? no thanks) and give up my season tickets to the Rangers because he didn't like it that I went to hockey games with my guy friends (so clearly, that attempt at a relationship didn't work out). Oh, and the ex he married? I hear she's taking him to the cleaners on the divorce...seems she didn't like the other item on the checklist: not minding while he slept around with other women.
Like I said, I live outside the boundaries and I like it that way. Even if you live the nice neat little life and you like it, good for you, but may I suggest you bust out now and again. Who knows, you might actually like it.
Next up on 4/29: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 482, Puck out of Sight. Rule 483, Illegal Puck. Rule 484, Puck Striking an Official. And the Portland Winterhawks' Bantam Draft results.
So, my team went down to the Red Wings: But considering where Phoenix started, first round of the playoffs exceeded expectations. And I don't say this often, because I am admittedly not a girly girl and was very likely a boy in another life...but here it is:
It truly does warm the heart to see the fans on their feet, cheering Phoenix in the handshake line the same as if they'd won, and to see the Coyotes raise their sticks to acknowledge the audience. There. I said it. I feel better. I've had my girly girl moment...now I can go back to using the f-word, banning pink from my wardrobe, home decor and bathroom accessories and logging onto hockeyfights.com to watch the Brett Ponich vs. Andy Blanke fight for the zillionth time.
And how about Montreal?: I had a bet with my friend Mike about the first round, and I was only right about one team in each conference. But I have never been more glad to be wrong about the Washington vs. Montreal series. I wanted to go with my heart on the Habs, but I went with logic. Never again. Felicitations, Les Habs, and bonne chance.
Back on the home front: It is just under two months to the NHL Draft and tomorrow is the Bantam Draft. The Portland Winterhawks' near future is already bright, and tomorrow we await results from the Bantam Draft to see how much brighter it will be in the long term. As for the NHL Draft, we have 6 players who are eligible and all are ranked somewhere on the Central Scouting List: Ryan Johansen, Nino Niederreiter, Troy Rutkowski, Taylor Aronson, Brad Ross and goalie Mac Carruth. And yes, I will be sitting home watching the full NHL Network coverage of draft day. Duh.
And, even though I know this probably won't happen because of the draft order and all, here are my picks for where I'd like to see these players land:
Ryan: Vancouver Canucks. Genius playmakers are always in style, but they are even more fashionable when they are roaming freely around my favorite city. Backup choice: LA Kings.
Nino: Chicago Blackhawks. A worldly boy in one of the world's best cities, playing for a team that's just as hot as he is right now.
Brad: Philadelphia Flyers. An easy choice. Brad leads the Hawks in penalty minutes.
Troy: Pittsburgh Penguins. Outstanding defenseman going quietly about the business of scoring a goal now and again. Plus, he was brave enough to serve as Nino's chauffeur for most of the season. He can handle anything after that.
Taylor: Anaheim Ducks. He's from that part of the world, and they need all the help they can get to come back around into the playoffs next year, especially if it's a high-scoring defenseman.
Mac: Dallas Stars. Marty Turco is out. They need fresh talent. And he'd join former Winterhawk and Dallas captain Brenden Morrow on the roster.
Will any of these predictions happen? Probably not. But as I'm finding in the playoffs, sometimes it's better to vote with your heart.
Oh right, the rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 480, Puck Out of Bounds. Rule 481, Puck on the Net.
480, Puck out of Bounds: When the puck goes out the playing area or strikes any obstacles, other than the boards or protective glass above the ice surface, the play shall be stopped and the face-off shall take place at the nearest point on the imaginary line from where the puck was shot or deflected, unless otherwise expressly provided in these rules.
481, Puck on the Net. When the puck is lodged in the outside netting of the goal net for more than three seconds or held against the goal net between opposing players, the Referee shall stop the play and a face-off:
1. At the nearest end-zone face-off spot.
2. At the nearest neutral zone face-off spot if, in the opinion of the Referee, the stoppage has been caused by an attacking player.
Morals of the story:
The game: I will never again be able to listen to the post-game/intermission go-to cliche "we just have to get pucks on net" the same way again. What's wrong with "pucks IN the net?" I mean, really, you don't want a puck ON the net, now do you? And who decided the three second minimum? I say give it three minutes and let them go at it to get it out of there. There's bound to be one or two fights in the meantime...what's the harm?
Life: In life, I prefer to be out of bounds. As often and as freely as possible. I like to be everything I'm not supposed to. I like saying and doing the thing nobody wants to hear or has the balls to do. Living a nice neat life where I graduated from college, got married before 30 and had 2.3 kids with the matching dog, cat and goldfish is fine if that's really what you want. If it is, then run don't walk to that life. But I don't and I never have. Many a boyfriend left and married their ex-girlfriends instead of me because I didn't fit their checklist for an ideal wife. One of them even showed me his, and it included: younger than him (I was two years older) preferably no taller than him (I was 2 inches taller in bare feet), willing to live in the suburbs (I'd rather die), love dogs (walk around picking up poo in a little bag? no thanks) and give up my season tickets to the Rangers because he didn't like it that I went to hockey games with my guy friends (so clearly, that attempt at a relationship didn't work out). Oh, and the ex he married? I hear she's taking him to the cleaners on the divorce...seems she didn't like the other item on the checklist: not minding while he slept around with other women.
Like I said, I live outside the boundaries and I like it that way. Even if you live the nice neat little life and you like it, good for you, but may I suggest you bust out now and again. Who knows, you might actually like it.
Next up on 4/29: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 482, Puck out of Sight. Rule 483, Illegal Puck. Rule 484, Puck Striking an Official. And the Portland Winterhawks' Bantam Draft results.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I Hereby Declare That Phoenix Shall Be Propelled Into the Second Round of the Playoffs
The game: Nashville vs. Chicago. Montreal vs. Washington.
So maybe the Predators aren't a rat-squat team after all: I mean, they did have the good sense to acquire Shea Weber, but how in the flip are they only one goal behind Chicago at the end of the second period? It boggles the mind.
On the other hand: I definitely owe my friend Mike a beer. Or two. San Jose and LA are out. Buffalo was just ousted by Boston. But I'm still all in for Montreal taking the Capitals out, especially now that they have forced a Game 7. Vous allez, garcons.
And I'm still all in for Chicago vs. Pittsburgh in the final: So far, so good. Chicago just took out the Predators, and as a result, they will get a second round rematch with Vancouver. Note to self: Get a hold of playoff tickets and take weekend trip to Vancouver to view said game (s).
Speaking of unlikely outcomes: Phoenix...do take Detroit out of these playoffs, if you would please. They've won enough Stanley Cups and gotten into enough playoff finals, thank you.
But I am a little sad for New Jersey: Because I love Zach Parise. He's definitely going on my personal NHL Cutie Pie Watch List. I love the story about how when he was little he would go to bed early because that's what NHL athletes did. I don't know if he does that anymore, but it's a good story.
And finally, back on the WHL playoff front: Thank you Tri-City Americans for taking the Vancouver Giants out of the picture. Now mind, come fall the Americans will once again return to their rightful place as one of the Portland Winterhawks' arch rivals. But for now, thank you for defeating the Giants, who simply had to go...and good luck.
Now, on with the rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 472, Goal and Assist Awarded to the Player.
472.a. A "Goal" shall be credited to in the scoring records to the player who propelled the puck into the opponent's net. I love it. Propelled sounds like a rocket scientist scored the goal. Let's face it, hockey players are big, young and beautiful, but rocket scientists they are not.
472.c. When a goal has been scored, an "Assist" shall be credited to the player(s) taking part in the play immediately preceding the action. In the NHL Rulebook, this is simply the last player to touch the puck prior to the player who scored the goal. But of course this is hockey Euro style, so, mais oui, il son tres jolie.
Morals of the story:
The game: This rule begs the question...what matters more, the number of goals a player scores, or the points? Awards are given for both, and thanks to this rule, it's rarely the same player. More importantly, sometimes the assist is even prettier than the goal. Witness Max Talbot's assist to Geno Malkin, which gave them the go-ahead in Game 2 with Ottawa. Or how about Jerome Iginla's assist (while falling down) to Sidney Crosby for the game-winning goal in the Olympic gold medal game. I could go on, but my point is this....not everybody was meant to score goals, but assisting in the scoring of a goal is every player's privilege.
Life: On the other hand, being the right hand man in life is often regarded as second best, also ran and someone who really never got their shot in life. Many of us are not meant to be leaders, run the company or have the corner office. We are better at shooting the backhand pass to the center, or laying down a big hit so the forwards have space to make a play, unabated. But rarely do we get credited with such actions.
We need a point system in life, whereby not only does the boss get the credit for a great idea, you get one too for thinking of how to make it a reality; or maybe you get two points everytime you stop your spouse from wearing ugly clothing in public; perhaps it's a bonus point for telling your cousin his zipper is down right before he gives a big toast at your other cousin's wedding. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to be big, but like hockey, it should be rewarded.
Next up on 4/28: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 480, Puck Out of Bounds.
So maybe the Predators aren't a rat-squat team after all: I mean, they did have the good sense to acquire Shea Weber, but how in the flip are they only one goal behind Chicago at the end of the second period? It boggles the mind.
On the other hand: I definitely owe my friend Mike a beer. Or two. San Jose and LA are out. Buffalo was just ousted by Boston. But I'm still all in for Montreal taking the Capitals out, especially now that they have forced a Game 7. Vous allez, garcons.
And I'm still all in for Chicago vs. Pittsburgh in the final: So far, so good. Chicago just took out the Predators, and as a result, they will get a second round rematch with Vancouver. Note to self: Get a hold of playoff tickets and take weekend trip to Vancouver to view said game (s).
Speaking of unlikely outcomes: Phoenix...do take Detroit out of these playoffs, if you would please. They've won enough Stanley Cups and gotten into enough playoff finals, thank you.
But I am a little sad for New Jersey: Because I love Zach Parise. He's definitely going on my personal NHL Cutie Pie Watch List. I love the story about how when he was little he would go to bed early because that's what NHL athletes did. I don't know if he does that anymore, but it's a good story.
And finally, back on the WHL playoff front: Thank you Tri-City Americans for taking the Vancouver Giants out of the picture. Now mind, come fall the Americans will once again return to their rightful place as one of the Portland Winterhawks' arch rivals. But for now, thank you for defeating the Giants, who simply had to go...and good luck.
Now, on with the rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 472, Goal and Assist Awarded to the Player.
472.a. A "Goal" shall be credited to in the scoring records to the player who propelled the puck into the opponent's net. I love it. Propelled sounds like a rocket scientist scored the goal. Let's face it, hockey players are big, young and beautiful, but rocket scientists they are not.
472.c. When a goal has been scored, an "Assist" shall be credited to the player(s) taking part in the play immediately preceding the action. In the NHL Rulebook, this is simply the last player to touch the puck prior to the player who scored the goal. But of course this is hockey Euro style, so, mais oui, il son tres jolie.
Morals of the story:
The game: This rule begs the question...what matters more, the number of goals a player scores, or the points? Awards are given for both, and thanks to this rule, it's rarely the same player. More importantly, sometimes the assist is even prettier than the goal. Witness Max Talbot's assist to Geno Malkin, which gave them the go-ahead in Game 2 with Ottawa. Or how about Jerome Iginla's assist (while falling down) to Sidney Crosby for the game-winning goal in the Olympic gold medal game. I could go on, but my point is this....not everybody was meant to score goals, but assisting in the scoring of a goal is every player's privilege.
Life: On the other hand, being the right hand man in life is often regarded as second best, also ran and someone who really never got their shot in life. Many of us are not meant to be leaders, run the company or have the corner office. We are better at shooting the backhand pass to the center, or laying down a big hit so the forwards have space to make a play, unabated. But rarely do we get credited with such actions.
We need a point system in life, whereby not only does the boss get the credit for a great idea, you get one too for thinking of how to make it a reality; or maybe you get two points everytime you stop your spouse from wearing ugly clothing in public; perhaps it's a bonus point for telling your cousin his zipper is down right before he gives a big toast at your other cousin's wedding. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to be big, but like hockey, it should be rewarded.
Next up on 4/28: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 480, Puck Out of Bounds.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I Shoot The Puck! I Go In The Goal Crease!
The game: Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa, Game 6, Stanley Cup Playoff Quarterfinal.
Why I chose it: Because the Pens are the masters of the comeback. Because I'm all in for Pittsburgh vs. Chicago in the finals. Because this Peter Regin is totally hot, all around.
Why I chose it: Because the Pens are the masters of the comeback. Because I'm all in for Pittsburgh vs. Chicago in the finals. Because this Peter Regin is totally hot, all around.
Now, this is what I like to see: In the WHL playoffs, the Tri-City Americans are leading the series against the Vancouver Giants 3-2.
And I like to see this even more: Pittsburgh 4, Ottawa 3 in OT. The Penguins showing how in 2009, they went from 10th in the Eastern Conference to the Stanley Cup in 3 months, under the tutelage of a rookie coach...and why they should never be underestimated. Want to know why I'm in for them to repeat their Stanley Cup victory? Watch the replay of this game.
Ok, so I sorta get it, but not really: I saw this when I read through the rules more carefully. An intentional offside is made for the purpose of causing a stoppage of play, regardless of the reason. Desperation in my general life experience is never a good reason to do anything.
The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 471, Disallowing a Goal.
Why not just go for a perfect 10 on this?: There are nine reasons for which a goal is disallowed. And I'm pretty sure almost all of them have happened at least once during these playoffs. These include:
471.1. If an attacking player deliberately kicks, throws, bats with the hands or otherwise directs the puck by any means other than his stick into the goal net even if the puck has been further deflected by any player, goalkeeper or official.
471.2. If an attacking player contacted the puck with the stick above the cross bar.
471.4. If an attacking player stands or holds his stick in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless he has been physically interfered with, by the action of any defending player so as to cause him to be in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless in the opinion of the Referee, he had sufficient time to get out of the crease or unless Rule 470 applies.
Morals of the story:
The game: First, and most importantly, where was Peter Regin during the regular season and why wasn't I paying attention to something that hot? Note to self: move to Denmark, where apparently they are hoarding some of the world's best looking hockey talent. Secondly, I still don't know how you have time to get out of the goal crease, but I'll be on the lookout, in the event I should see a 6 foot 5, 2oo-some-odd pound hockey player who's fast enough to get out in enough time.
Life: Why can't we have a disallowed goal for every stupid-ass thing we do in life that we thought was cool at the time, but really wasn't? The goal in this case being the thing we shouldn't have done, such as: moving to New York City with a plan, without money and without back-up, perming my hair in senior year, wearing white pantyhose in public, the all-forest green suit (including matching green pantyhose and shoes) that I wore to the first day of my first job in the Big Apple and letting a few nice guys get away because I was too young to appreciate them. In this case, there would be the life equivalent of a video goal judge who would review said action and give me one more chance, along with some instructions for how to pick a nice, reliable boyfriend next time and some photos of clothing that will not horrify the general public.
Next up on 4/25: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 472, Goal and Assist Awarded to the Player.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Who Says There Aren't Any Hockey Fans in Arizona?
The game: Phoenix vs. Detroit.
Why I chose it: Because I'm still all in for Phoenix to take it. Since Phoenix is on home turf tonight, it's the perfect time for this:
If you grew up in non-hockey towns and countries, like Arizona or Costa Rica, and you are a hockey fan....be prepared for the following responses if you ever leave and move somewhere like Oregon:
1. You tell people you're a hockey fan. They assume oh, you must have grown up in Detroit, Chicago or Minnesota, right? No. I grew up in Tucson. Oh, so you just like Sidney Crosby and Malkin, right? Yes, I do, but I actually like the sport. Oh, by the way, I know all 87 NHL rules, plus the IIHF rulebook. And, I'm a woman and I'm not petite and scary skinny and cute and I go to games on my own not just because I'm just tagging along with my boyfriend and I have a brain. Oh. And then they just run away.
2. You tell people you grew up in Arizona. Oh, so you must be a big golf lover then? No, I love hockey. Oh. They then proceed to back up 5 or 10 feet, call other people over to look at you and chat amongst themselves, and shortly thereafter they start calling local authorities on their mobile devices.
Now, back on the WHL front: Excuse me, how exactly is it that Vancouver is tied with Tri-City Americans at two games each? I thought I made it clear the Tri-City Americans were supposed to eat the Giants for a snack. Then again, I did also call for the Giants' defeat in Game 6 on their home ice, so there is still hope for their downfall.
The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 470, Definition of a Goal.
This is simple enough: 470.1. When the puck has been put between the goal posts below the crossbar and entirely across the goal line by the stick of a player of the attacking team.
But this I had to read twice: 470.4. If a player of the attacking team has been physically interfered with, by the action of any defending player so as to cause him to be in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless if in the opinion of the Referee, he had sufficient time to get out of the crease. Here's what I want to know: How do you have sufficient time to get out of a little space 4 feet by 6 feet when you're going 80 miles an hour into it?
And at last I know why two players can get credited with an assist: Two assists may be awarded when a player scores after a rebound off of the goalkeeper. Thank you!
Morals of the story:
The game: At last, I get it. The game may seem simple, but the rules aren't. Not even the allowing of a goal, the simplest of all rules. Either they shoot the puck, the puck go in, or they don't. Right? Wrong. But that got me to thinking...once again, how like life hockey is, which leads me to this:
Life: Nothing in life is easy. Not even a phone call. It is my dream to someday once again contact a vendor like HP or Comcast or the phone company and not push 7 buttons to speak to an actual person in another country. And I would love to log onto just one web site to make a purchase or peruse news and not have to fill out the "forgot your password" thing because I have too many bloody usernames and passwords. And, finally...I love my Mini Cooper, but my salesperson helped me program all the little bells and whistles when I bought it and if I wanted to change anything, I'd have to take it back to the dealer to get her help. No, the manual wouldn't help me. I can barely plug in my cell phone charger without electrocuting myself.
Which is why I find irony in my favorite hockey player interview cliche: "we just gotta keep it simple." Or, when they get asked how they won: "we just played a simple game." Why we cannot play a simple game in life, I do not know. But at least there is some comfort in knowing that each year from September to June, for two or three hours each night, in cities all over the US, Canada and Europe there are very young, large, pretty boys keeping it simple. Carry on boys... perhaps someday we'll all get wise and follow your lead.
Up next on 4/24: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 471, Disallowing a Goal.
Why I chose it: Because I'm still all in for Phoenix to take it. Since Phoenix is on home turf tonight, it's the perfect time for this:
If you grew up in non-hockey towns and countries, like Arizona or Costa Rica, and you are a hockey fan....be prepared for the following responses if you ever leave and move somewhere like Oregon:
1. You tell people you're a hockey fan. They assume oh, you must have grown up in Detroit, Chicago or Minnesota, right? No. I grew up in Tucson. Oh, so you just like Sidney Crosby and Malkin, right? Yes, I do, but I actually like the sport. Oh, by the way, I know all 87 NHL rules, plus the IIHF rulebook. And, I'm a woman and I'm not petite and scary skinny and cute and I go to games on my own not just because I'm just tagging along with my boyfriend and I have a brain. Oh. And then they just run away.
2. You tell people you grew up in Arizona. Oh, so you must be a big golf lover then? No, I love hockey. Oh. They then proceed to back up 5 or 10 feet, call other people over to look at you and chat amongst themselves, and shortly thereafter they start calling local authorities on their mobile devices.
Now, back on the WHL front: Excuse me, how exactly is it that Vancouver is tied with Tri-City Americans at two games each? I thought I made it clear the Tri-City Americans were supposed to eat the Giants for a snack. Then again, I did also call for the Giants' defeat in Game 6 on their home ice, so there is still hope for their downfall.
The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 470, Definition of a Goal.
This is simple enough: 470.1. When the puck has been put between the goal posts below the crossbar and entirely across the goal line by the stick of a player of the attacking team.
But this I had to read twice: 470.4. If a player of the attacking team has been physically interfered with, by the action of any defending player so as to cause him to be in the goal crease when the puck enters the goal net, unless if in the opinion of the Referee, he had sufficient time to get out of the crease. Here's what I want to know: How do you have sufficient time to get out of a little space 4 feet by 6 feet when you're going 80 miles an hour into it?
And at last I know why two players can get credited with an assist: Two assists may be awarded when a player scores after a rebound off of the goalkeeper. Thank you!
Morals of the story:
The game: At last, I get it. The game may seem simple, but the rules aren't. Not even the allowing of a goal, the simplest of all rules. Either they shoot the puck, the puck go in, or they don't. Right? Wrong. But that got me to thinking...once again, how like life hockey is, which leads me to this:
Life: Nothing in life is easy. Not even a phone call. It is my dream to someday once again contact a vendor like HP or Comcast or the phone company and not push 7 buttons to speak to an actual person in another country. And I would love to log onto just one web site to make a purchase or peruse news and not have to fill out the "forgot your password" thing because I have too many bloody usernames and passwords. And, finally...I love my Mini Cooper, but my salesperson helped me program all the little bells and whistles when I bought it and if I wanted to change anything, I'd have to take it back to the dealer to get her help. No, the manual wouldn't help me. I can barely plug in my cell phone charger without electrocuting myself.
Which is why I find irony in my favorite hockey player interview cliche: "we just gotta keep it simple." Or, when they get asked how they won: "we just played a simple game." Why we cannot play a simple game in life, I do not know. But at least there is some comfort in knowing that each year from September to June, for two or three hours each night, in cities all over the US, Canada and Europe there are very young, large, pretty boys keeping it simple. Carry on boys... perhaps someday we'll all get wise and follow your lead.
Up next on 4/24: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 471, Disallowing a Goal.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
To Ice or Not to Ice? That Is Still the Question
The game: Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa. Colorada vs. San Jose.
Why I chose it: Ottawa could (and in my opinion, should) go down and Pittsburgh will go on. If only Ottawa hadn't scored that game-tying goal and Pittsburgh hadn't had a goal disallowed for high sticking, we'd be done now. But then again..Hello! Who the heck is Peter Regin? Looks and sounds like a cutie pie player that I must follow from now on. Check out this tidbit on TSN's web site: In his bio, they state Performance: Regin is hot. I quite agree.
And P.S.: I'm all in for Matt Duchene to win the Calder. My second choice is Tyler Myers.
The rule/let's try this again: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 460, Icing the Puck. Ok, I get this part: 460.b, Should a player of a team equal or superior in numerical strength shoot, bat or deflect the puck from his own half of the ice beyond the goal line of the opposing team, play shall be stopped and icing shall be called.
But here's where you lost me: 460.c, A face-off shall take place at the end zone face-off spot of the offending team nearest to where they last touched the puck. So, if they last touched the puck in their own half of the ice, and the face-off puts them in their defending -- not attacking-- zone...how exactly does icing help them? And why then, would you do this?
Yes, I'm a girl, but: Let's be clear. I love hockey because I love the sport. I love the rules (sort of), I hate refs (well, not really), I love beer, and I love spitting and swearing and bench-clearing fights. I was buying coffee the other day at work, and the very lovely manager/server who was taking my money found out that I'm hockey fan and he's like "oh, you're from Chicago, Detroit?..." No. I'm from Arizona. "Oh, you just like Crosby and Malkin." Now, I do love them, but let's be clear. There are hockey fans in Arizona. And I love the sport first and the boys second. And for the record, my favorite Penguin is Max Talbot.
Morals of the story:
The game: Where is Ryan Johansen when I need him? When I was chatting with him at the pizza thingy, he said something about how icing was a scoring opportunity. I thought I understood it, but when I saw this rule for a second time, I still don't get it. How is being trapped in your defensive zone a scoring opportunity? It boggles the mind almost as much as why I think WHL referee Matt Kirk is such a cutie pie. It's just wrong to crush on a ref, I know, but I do. I can't help it.
Life: So, I looked this up online and apparently icing is what players do to avoid playing defense. If this is right, then we do this way too much in life. Let's face it...we spend more time playing defense in life than attacking. We fend off people who tell us our dreams are stupid, we watch while our bosses take credit for our work, and if you're a tall woman you deal with men who don't like it that you can look them in the eye and forget about above it. It's too easy to ice the puck and give up. Most people live lives of loud fears and silent dreams and they give up before they get to the attacking zone in life. They ice the puck and they never know how good it could have been.
The way we should live it is like this Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa game: they are tied at 3 and they are going to a second OT...because nobody is giving up or backing down. Icing is called in hockey and it should be called in life to save us from ourselves. Next time you think about icing the life puck, don't. It's too easy, and it will never lead anywhere but down.
Next up on 4/23: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 470, Definition of a Goal.
Why I chose it: Ottawa could (and in my opinion, should) go down and Pittsburgh will go on. If only Ottawa hadn't scored that game-tying goal and Pittsburgh hadn't had a goal disallowed for high sticking, we'd be done now. But then again..Hello! Who the heck is Peter Regin? Looks and sounds like a cutie pie player that I must follow from now on. Check out this tidbit on TSN's web site: In his bio, they state Performance: Regin is hot. I quite agree.
And P.S.: I'm all in for Matt Duchene to win the Calder. My second choice is Tyler Myers.
The rule/let's try this again: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 460, Icing the Puck. Ok, I get this part: 460.b, Should a player of a team equal or superior in numerical strength shoot, bat or deflect the puck from his own half of the ice beyond the goal line of the opposing team, play shall be stopped and icing shall be called.
But here's where you lost me: 460.c, A face-off shall take place at the end zone face-off spot of the offending team nearest to where they last touched the puck. So, if they last touched the puck in their own half of the ice, and the face-off puts them in their defending -- not attacking-- zone...how exactly does icing help them? And why then, would you do this?
Yes, I'm a girl, but: Let's be clear. I love hockey because I love the sport. I love the rules (sort of), I hate refs (well, not really), I love beer, and I love spitting and swearing and bench-clearing fights. I was buying coffee the other day at work, and the very lovely manager/server who was taking my money found out that I'm hockey fan and he's like "oh, you're from Chicago, Detroit?..." No. I'm from Arizona. "Oh, you just like Crosby and Malkin." Now, I do love them, but let's be clear. There are hockey fans in Arizona. And I love the sport first and the boys second. And for the record, my favorite Penguin is Max Talbot.
Morals of the story:
The game: Where is Ryan Johansen when I need him? When I was chatting with him at the pizza thingy, he said something about how icing was a scoring opportunity. I thought I understood it, but when I saw this rule for a second time, I still don't get it. How is being trapped in your defensive zone a scoring opportunity? It boggles the mind almost as much as why I think WHL referee Matt Kirk is such a cutie pie. It's just wrong to crush on a ref, I know, but I do. I can't help it.
Life: So, I looked this up online and apparently icing is what players do to avoid playing defense. If this is right, then we do this way too much in life. Let's face it...we spend more time playing defense in life than attacking. We fend off people who tell us our dreams are stupid, we watch while our bosses take credit for our work, and if you're a tall woman you deal with men who don't like it that you can look them in the eye and forget about above it. It's too easy to ice the puck and give up. Most people live lives of loud fears and silent dreams and they give up before they get to the attacking zone in life. They ice the puck and they never know how good it could have been.
The way we should live it is like this Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa game: they are tied at 3 and they are going to a second OT...because nobody is giving up or backing down. Icing is called in hockey and it should be called in life to save us from ourselves. Next time you think about icing the life puck, don't. It's too easy, and it will never lead anywhere but down.
Next up on 4/23: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 470, Definition of a Goal.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Don't Touch the Puck, Don't Look at the Puck, Don't Feed the Puck Snacks
The games: Chicago vs. Nashville and San Jose vs. Colorado.
I still need a verdict on this one: Danny Boyle scoring into his own net -- sort of -- 51 seconds into OT after a scoreless game against Colorado. Did he score into it or did he just make it all too easy for O'Reilly to get the game winner? Inquiring minds want to know.
What's up with this Chicago vs. Nashville game: And why is Nashville up by 3 due to a goal on a penalty shot? And how are they leading the series 2-1? I love Niemi, but I love honkin' tall French captains and goalies like Cristobal Huet even more. And I love it more when they are in the net stopping rat-squat teams like Nashville from scoring.
*Back home on the WHL Playoff front: The Vancouver Giants continue their semifinal series against Tri-City Americans, which is currently tied at 1-1. Vancouver must go down...it's a moral imperative. Preferably in Game 6 on their home ice, with a large scoring deficit, like say...9 -0. That would be good.
*To refresh: My hometown team the Portland Winterhawks lost to the Vancouver Giants in Game 6, Round 2 on home ice. So, obviously the Giants must be prevented from advancing any further in the playoffs. And, their punishment must fit the crime (as noted above).
But not to worry, because here's a super-cool nibble from the Winterhawks' latest news: Nino Niederreiter has been invited to tryout for the IIHF World Championships in May. Is there anything he hasn't done this year? He already became a superstar at the World Juniors, where he helped Switzerland reach the semi-finals and beat Russia for the first time, He played in the CHL Prospects game, is ranked 12 on the final Central Scouting Report, and predictions are running high that he could be the highest drafted Swiss player ever taken in the NHL Draft. Oh, and he was named to the World Junior All-Star Team and the WHL Western Conference Second All-Star Team. Friends, as I've said, if you are not already tuned into his frequency (or that of his very talented and very humble teammate Ryan Johansen), I suggest you do so. Because it's about to get very loud.
Smartest goalie switcheroo of the playoffs: Tuuka Rask getting it done for Boston. Halak's doing a good job for Montreal, but I wouldn't want to be him in the wake of Ovechkin's essentially telling him to man up. After something like that, might as well carry a man-purse/"carry all" onto the ice and just get it over with.
The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 451, Delayed Offside Procedure.
Here it is, but darned if I understand it: If an attacking player precedes the puck into the attacking zone, but a defending player is able to play the puck, the Linesman shall raise his arm to signal a "Delayed Offside," except if the puck has been shot on goal causing the goalkeeper to play the puck. The Linesman shall drop his arm to nullify the offside violation and allow the play to continue if:
1. The defending team either passes or carries the puck into the neutral zone.
2. Or, all attacking players immediately clear the attacking zone by making skate contact with the blue line.
But wait, there's more: "Immediately" means that the attacking players shall not touch the puck, or attempt to gain possession of a loose puck, or force the defending puck carrier further back in the zone. Because God forbid we should follow the commonly accepted definitions of immediately...such as right now, on the double...or pronto.
Morals of the story:
The game: Is there anything you ARE allowed to do with the puck in this rule? Why not just throw a few more in there for good measure: Don't look at the puck, don't pass the puck, don't talk to the puck, don't feed the puck snacks. Let me say this... I've met some hockey players in my day and I must say, a lot of them were not what I'd call the brightest bulbs on the tree. But there are some brains trapped in there somewhere, because anyone who can figure out rules like this has got to have some intellect. Especially if they are the Captain, and have the privilege of conversation with the Referee. Sorry boys, I will never again think that you are big, dumb, pretty boys. Well, ok, you are big and pretty, but next time somebody asks me, I'm vouching for your brains too.
Life: Have you ever been asked to do something stupid at work because somebody else did something stupid and you had to help them out of it? If you have, I think you'll agree we need this rule in corporate America.
If senior leaders make a foolish business decision and "cross the blue line" with an impulsive decision without thinking about the long term consequences of their actions: The Referee shall raise his arm, blow the whistle, and point the employees who know what they are doing and tried to warn said leaders of the vagaries of their actions to one of nine face-off spots, where they will face-off in an attempt to move the decision back in the right direction before anyone within or outside the company suffers the consequences.
Next up on 4/21: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 460, Icing the Puck.
I still need a verdict on this one: Danny Boyle scoring into his own net -- sort of -- 51 seconds into OT after a scoreless game against Colorado. Did he score into it or did he just make it all too easy for O'Reilly to get the game winner? Inquiring minds want to know.
What's up with this Chicago vs. Nashville game: And why is Nashville up by 3 due to a goal on a penalty shot? And how are they leading the series 2-1? I love Niemi, but I love honkin' tall French captains and goalies like Cristobal Huet even more. And I love it more when they are in the net stopping rat-squat teams like Nashville from scoring.
*Back home on the WHL Playoff front: The Vancouver Giants continue their semifinal series against Tri-City Americans, which is currently tied at 1-1. Vancouver must go down...it's a moral imperative. Preferably in Game 6 on their home ice, with a large scoring deficit, like say...9 -0. That would be good.
*To refresh: My hometown team the Portland Winterhawks lost to the Vancouver Giants in Game 6, Round 2 on home ice. So, obviously the Giants must be prevented from advancing any further in the playoffs. And, their punishment must fit the crime (as noted above).
But not to worry, because here's a super-cool nibble from the Winterhawks' latest news: Nino Niederreiter has been invited to tryout for the IIHF World Championships in May. Is there anything he hasn't done this year? He already became a superstar at the World Juniors, where he helped Switzerland reach the semi-finals and beat Russia for the first time, He played in the CHL Prospects game, is ranked 12 on the final Central Scouting Report, and predictions are running high that he could be the highest drafted Swiss player ever taken in the NHL Draft. Oh, and he was named to the World Junior All-Star Team and the WHL Western Conference Second All-Star Team. Friends, as I've said, if you are not already tuned into his frequency (or that of his very talented and very humble teammate Ryan Johansen), I suggest you do so. Because it's about to get very loud.
Smartest goalie switcheroo of the playoffs: Tuuka Rask getting it done for Boston. Halak's doing a good job for Montreal, but I wouldn't want to be him in the wake of Ovechkin's essentially telling him to man up. After something like that, might as well carry a man-purse/"carry all" onto the ice and just get it over with.
The rule: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 451, Delayed Offside Procedure.
Here it is, but darned if I understand it: If an attacking player precedes the puck into the attacking zone, but a defending player is able to play the puck, the Linesman shall raise his arm to signal a "Delayed Offside," except if the puck has been shot on goal causing the goalkeeper to play the puck. The Linesman shall drop his arm to nullify the offside violation and allow the play to continue if:
1. The defending team either passes or carries the puck into the neutral zone.
2. Or, all attacking players immediately clear the attacking zone by making skate contact with the blue line.
But wait, there's more: "Immediately" means that the attacking players shall not touch the puck, or attempt to gain possession of a loose puck, or force the defending puck carrier further back in the zone. Because God forbid we should follow the commonly accepted definitions of immediately...such as right now, on the double...or pronto.
Morals of the story:
The game: Is there anything you ARE allowed to do with the puck in this rule? Why not just throw a few more in there for good measure: Don't look at the puck, don't pass the puck, don't talk to the puck, don't feed the puck snacks. Let me say this... I've met some hockey players in my day and I must say, a lot of them were not what I'd call the brightest bulbs on the tree. But there are some brains trapped in there somewhere, because anyone who can figure out rules like this has got to have some intellect. Especially if they are the Captain, and have the privilege of conversation with the Referee. Sorry boys, I will never again think that you are big, dumb, pretty boys. Well, ok, you are big and pretty, but next time somebody asks me, I'm vouching for your brains too.
Life: Have you ever been asked to do something stupid at work because somebody else did something stupid and you had to help them out of it? If you have, I think you'll agree we need this rule in corporate America.
If senior leaders make a foolish business decision and "cross the blue line" with an impulsive decision without thinking about the long term consequences of their actions: The Referee shall raise his arm, blow the whistle, and point the employees who know what they are doing and tried to warn said leaders of the vagaries of their actions to one of nine face-off spots, where they will face-off in an attempt to move the decision back in the right direction before anyone within or outside the company suffers the consequences.
Next up on 4/21: Section 4, Playing Rules. Rule 460, Icing the Puck.
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