Sunday, December 26, 2010

Look out World Juniors, here come the Winterhawks

The game: Team Canada vs. Russia (World Juniors). Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators. Anaheim Ducks vs. Los Angeles Kings. Edmonton Oilers vs. Vancouver Canucks.

Why: Because Ryan Johansen is going to break out for Team Canada. Because it's the Pens vs. the Sens and Sergei Gonchar faces off against his former teammates. Because Anze Kopitar is a good enough excuse all by himself. Because it's Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall facing off against the Sedins.

It's totally unpatriotic of me, but here's the deal: The Portland Winterhawks regrettably have no players on Team USA in the World Juniors, Therefore, I'm all in for Team Canada and Team Switzerland. Now, technically I'm being patriotic because Ryan Johansen and Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter (Team Switzerland) play here in the United States. Therefore, I can shamelessly root for their teams. There. I said it. Now I feel better.

Of course, they probably don't need my help, but still: Nino has been named Captain of Team Switzerland and he scored one of Switzerland's four goals in this morning's game against Germany. Sven hasn't scored yet, but just wait. He's known for late-blooming heroics.

Since he's going to break out, could the NHL please spell his name right?: did a feature on Sven, which is fabulous. Except for the part where they spelled his name Baertschi.

The rule: Article 15, Training Camp; Travel Expenses.

We definitely need this rule at my office: 15.3(e): During the first five days of Training Camp, no player shall participate in more than three hours of practice per day, including on and off-ice practice, and there shall be no more than one practice session per day except, however, that the first day of Training Camp may last up to five hours, for the purposes of photographs, medical examinations, and/or off-ice testing only and, on Exhibition Game days, the three-hour rule shall not apply to Players playing in the Exhibition Game. If a Club wants to operate more than 5 hours on the first day, a request must be submitted to the NHL and NHLPA before July 1.

And we definitely should change our sick and medical leave policy to something like this: 15.6: Any Player who is injured during Training Camp and who has qualified during the preceding season, including Playoffs, for at least 50 games credit for the purposes of the Pension Plan or is on a one-way SPC, shall receive his Paragraph 1 NHL Salary and Signing Bonus until he receives appropriate medical clearance. All other Players shall be paid a daily rate until they receive appropriate medical clearance.

Morals of the story:

The game: I hope there's a rule somewhere that says teams can hold longer practices during the regular season. Because one would hope that teams like the Washington Capitals or Toronto Maple Leafs might want to hold extra ice time to get their team's butts in gears. As well they should be allowed to.

Life: Obviously, we need the NHL's rules for Corporate America, where we have to show up bleeding out one eyeball before we're allowed to go on the equivalent of injured reserve. And where we live to work, which serves no one's best interests. True, America innovates and produces a lot of important technology and medical advancements and what not. But one thing we don't produce is well-rested, happy individuals who aren't caught up in the rat race. For that, we definitely need better rules. Like one for the co-workers who take days off, but not really because they still ping everybody on their mobile devices out of a sad need to show other people how important they are. For that, there should be a rule that if you take a vacation day and attempt to ping co-workers to add to their workload instead of giving them a day to catch up whilst you are out, they should have the right to ignore your calls. In fact, if you're someone who's that sad and desperate to get attention and approval, they should have the right to ignore you altogether.

Next up: Onward with Article 16, League Schedule; Playing Rosters; Reserve Lists; Practice Sessions.

1 comment:

  1. Actually Samantha, they did get Sven's name right in one sense. In his native language, there would be an umlaut over the a. In the English, where there are no umlauts, it is indicated by placing the e after the a. It affects the pronunciation.

    Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to your comments on the big Winterhawks-Giants trade today.