What goes up must come down. Sort of.

The games; Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Philadelphia. Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Edmonton Oilers.

Why I chose them: Sidney Crosby on the Pens on a tear. Taylor Hall unleashing his first PR booboo to give the Leafs extra motivation. What other reason does one need?

All good things must come to an end, but...: The Pens' 12-game streak came to an end as a bad penalty led to a third goal for the Flyers, giving them a 3 -2 victory. On the other hand the player who committed said penalty, Evgeni Malkin, also returned to play after an absence that seemed longer than it was, and scored both of the team's goals. And Sidney Crosby at least kept his point streak alive with two assists. But still, major bummer alert for the Pens.

Speaking of major bummers: Maybe the Leafs should encourage Taylor Hall to make more comments to the media about being "there for the taking." The Leafs just cooked the Oilers 4 -1.

World Junior update: Portland Winterhawk Brad Ross has been released from Team Canada's World Junior training camp. Linemate Ryan Johansen is still in Toronto, and is expected to be a significant contributor to Canada's effort to recapture a gold medal. Sven Bartschi and Nino Niederreiter will be departing this week for Team Switzerland's training camp, where Nino is a shoo-in for the final roster. Look for Sven to be a breakout star this year. Brendan Leipsic and Derrick Pouliot, meanwhile, are off to try their hand at the Under-17 World Challenge. Best wishes all around and welcome back to Brad. Wednesday update: As expected, Ryan has indeed made the roster, which was announced this morning.

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 14, Player Assignments.

14.1, Rent/Mortgage Expenses: A Player whose SPC is Assigned from one Club to another shall be reimbursed from the assignee-Club a sum equal to six months' rent or mortgage, as the case may be, on his living quarters in the city from which he is assigned; provided, however, that such reimbursement shall be made only if and to the extent that the Player is legally obligated to make and does make such payment and provided, further, that the Club's obligation shall in no event exceed for the 2005-2006 and 2006 - 2007 seasons, $3,100 per month, for the 2010 - 2011 seasons, $3,300 per month.

Morals of the story:

The game: So, this is probably a great deal unless you play for the New York Islanders or the Rangers. When I left New York six years ago, real estate brokers were raving because the rent on a 3rd floor walk-up studio apartment with sporadic heat and no view in Brooklyn was coming down to $2000 per month. Really.

Life: Six months rent free for the trouble of moving to a new life, that probably comes with heat and a view? Brilliant. I lived in six apartments or rented rooms over 10 years in New York. I financed all of them, to the tune of almost $10,000 over time. I'll take six months rent or partially rent free, thank you.

Up next: Article 14, 14.2, Moving Expenses.

Teddy bears, winning streaks and skating with Santa oh my!

The math: Pittsburgh 5, Buffalo 2. Portland Winterhawks 7, Prince George Cougars 4 (WHL).

The streak continues: Sidney Crosby notched up an assist last night, and the Pens ran their winning streak up to 12. Refresh me, why do the rest of us bother? We'll never catch up.

Speaking of scoring: How about that Portland score? Fueled by a near sellout crowd that tossed more than 12,000 bears to the ice in our annual teddy bear toss, the Winterhawks turned a losing streak around with a winning weekend against the Prince George Cougars. And Ty Rattie, NHL prospect extraordinaire, scored the teddy bear goal, turning his own scoring drought around. He added two assists to officially break out. You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive.com/hawks.

Penalty kill is their middle name: Led by Taylor Peters, Spencer Bennett and defenseman Tyler Wotherspoon, Portland's penalty killers are a thing of staggering beauty. And if you're lucky, they'll be coming to an NHL rink near you.

I'm going skating with Santa: Next week, the Portland Winterhawks reopen the remodeled version of Valley Ice Arena, and they are inviting the public to skate with Mr. Claus over the holiday weekend. Genius. So, if you don't see any entries around Christmas, you'll know I'm in an emergency room somewhere, watching reruns and slurping egg nog. If I do survive, then I'm signing up for the "Learn to Play Hockey" program. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The rule: Holy crap! I just realized I missed a rule: Article 7, No Strike, Discrimination and Other Undertakings. More frightening, I covered it and have no memory of it. Oh well....doesn't hurt to refresh now and again:

7.1: (a) Neither the NHL nor the NHLPA shall authorize, encourage or engage in any strike, work stoppage, slowdown or other concerted interference with the activities of any Club or of the League during the term of this Agreement. (b) Neither the League nor any Club shall engage in a lockout during the term of this Agreement. The rule goes on to ban any form of intolerance based on race, sexual orientation, religion, ethnic background, marital status, etc.

Morals of the story:

The game: Smart move, this one. One lockout in my lifetime was enough. The only thing uglier than an ugly win or nasty game is no hockey at all.

Life: For all the Miss Americas who just want world peace, this is the rule for you. You could just add it to the Geneva Conventions: parties engaged in international diplomatic relations shall not engage in a strike, slowdown, lockout or any other action that would lead to war. Brilliant.

Up next: The last of Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

It's game weekend in Portland

You can read all about it here: www.oregonlive/hawks.

Will the latest episode of the Sidney Crosby show produce the 12th in a row for the Pittsburgh Penguins?: Do I have to ask? But of course. Game on.

I would have stayed up until 3 am for this: Tampa Bay vs. Edmonton. The Oilers win it in a shootout. Guy Boucher, Jordan Eberle and shootout in one game. No drooling allowed, Sam.

The NHL was apparently in the house last night: Brian Burke was in town to check out his prized draft pick Brad Ross (went 43rd overall to the Leafs). He should come to town more often. Brad didn't spend one minute in the penalty box all night long.

My bets for who will score the coveted Teddy Bear goal in tonight's Teddy Bear Toss against the Prince George Cougars: Ty Rattie, prime NHL prospect who's in a bit of a scoring slump. Thanks to his team and linemate (and fellow prospect and potential Swiss World Junior star) Sven Bartschi convincing me, I'm all in. With a little help from Sven and Brendan Leipsic. Possibly Brett Ponich. Game on.

Up next: The results of the Teddy Bear Toss and onward to the next section of the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

The only thing I love more than shootouts: 10-round shootouts with Anaheim and Edmonton

The games: Anaheim Ducks 3, Edmonton 2 in a 10-round shootout. Pittsburgh Penguins 5, Toronto 2.

Why I chose them: My two favorite teams, a really long shootout won by a rookie and the Sidney Crosby show continues. He scored two goals and extended his streak to 17 games. Games on.

He wasn't too shabby either: Mark Letestu notched up his first career two-goal game.

Get ready. At last, it's coming: 24/7 Road to the NHL Winter Classic debuts in exactly one week. Filming has already begun with the Pens and Caps. Sidney Crosby in his pajamas with his honey nut cheerios. Alex Ovechkin scrolling through his iPhone to call his latest puckbunny conquest. Brilliant. I may stay home and watch it in protest of the Portland Winterhawks, because:

I cannot even believe this: The Winterhawks are down 5 - 0 to the Spokane Chiefs in the first period of a road game. Goalies have already been changed, to no avail. Mac Carruth let in 3 before being pulled and Keith Hamilton let 2 more in. Where is Ian Curtis when you need him? I've never been so excited to hear the buzzer.

The Portland vs. Spokane situation is so bad, I started thinking we should just forfeit and go home. So, to refresh:

NHL Rulebook, Rule 66.1, Forfeit of Game: In the event of failure by a Club to comply with a provision of the League constitution, by-laws, resolutions, rules or regulations affecting the playing of a game, the Referee shall, if so directed by the Commissioner or his designee, refuse to permit the game to proceed until the offending Club comes into compliance with such provision.

Morals of the story:

The game: Does allowing five goals in the first period qualify as failure to comply? UUUUGGGGGHHHH.

Life: On the other hand, if we gave up and packed it in when the equivalent of five goals was scored in our first period, we'd all be living in a cave feeding out of a bag of fig newtons and washing it down with cabernet that's just past its drinkability.

Up next: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, the final sections of Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs.

What, boy wonder there only scored one goal? I'm shocked.

The game: Pittsburgh Penguins 2, New Jersey Devils 1.

Why I chose it: The latest episode of the Sidney Crosby show produced one goal and one assist. Is there any team/goalie he hasn't cooked to a crisp? Oh, and it's the first time in his career that Dan Bylsma has gotten 10 wins in a row and Marc-Andre Fleury had a personal best with 9 wins in a row. But really, let's face it, it's all about the boy who wears the C. He leads the league in goals and points. And what did you do today?

Mini bummer alert: The debut of the 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic is airing the same night as a Portland Winterhawks game. Yes, I know it's going to be on like 80 times in 24 hours after that, but I grew up in the days of three network channels with no repeats. I still like the excitement of watching something when it airs for the first time.

Speaking of the Winterhawks: They got behind early and never caught up. They dropped a game in Spokane, where they lost to the Chiefs 4 - 3.

Could it be for real this time?: The Phoenix Coyotes may soon have a buyer in Matt Hulsizer. He's 40 and he's buying a whole hockey team. I'm 42 and today I bought a Team Canada jersey on sale at amazon.com. What happened to my life?

The rule: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Player to Minor League Clubs.

13.16, Waiver Prices: Ok. Maybe it's just because I didn't sleep last night, but this rule is backwards. Players with less experience are worth more. I've listed a few examples below. Except as specifically otherwise provided in this Agreement, the prices applicable to Players being Waived on Regular and Re-Entry Waivers shall be in U.S. dollars and are as follows:

For each forward and defenseman who has not in the aggregate completed more than the following years under one or more SPCs:
2 years $67,500
5 years $26,250

For each goaltender who has not in the aggregate completed more than the following years under one or more SPCs:

2 years $90,000
5 years $63,750

Oh wait I get it: Younger and less beat up by years of playing means you're worth more. Ok. Scooby Doo here is on top of things.

Morals of the story:

The game: Seems pretty simple to me. Stay young. Stay fit. Stay worthy.

Life: When we get put on waivers in life, we're worth exactly zero or the sum of an unemployment check until some other company decides what we're worth. But what if the federal goverment passed a law that said when employees are laid off and/or transferred to another company, they are worth a set price that must be paid by the old employer if no one claims you, or by the new employer for the privilege of winning you. Kind of like a signing bonus for getting fired. And it would be in lieu of unemployment/welfare handouts. A win-win all around. Brilliant.

Up next: The second half of waiver prices. And attempting to achieve something with my life before Sidney Crosby goes out and scores another hat trick plus some.

Happy holiday roster freeze!

The games: Pittsburgh vs. Columbus Blue Jackets, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Colorado Avalanche, and Portland Winterhawks vs. Tri-City Americans (December 3, WHL).

Go ahead, score the hat trick already: Sidney Crosby has already scored two goals, it's only the start of the third period and the Pens are up 7 - 2.

Or not: Final score Pittsburgh 7, Columbus 2. Crosby racks up two and Paul Martin shines with two goals (both unassisted), 3 shots and 20 minutes of ice time.

Things that are hot that are not on the ice: Guy Boucher and his evil plan have the Lightning leading the Avalanche 4 - 2 with two minutes to go in the second period.

Or not: Colorado just scored twice in the last minute of the game to close the lead to Tampa Bay 6, Colorado 5. That is the final score. The evil plan succeeds.

The Winterhawks are back. They're really, really back: Thanks to the Ross-Johansen-Niederreiter line, who collectively scored all of the team's five goals in a 5-1 routing of the Americans.

The rules: NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Article 13, Waivers and Loans of Players to Minor League Clubs. 13.13, Waiver Notification, 13.14, Transfer Form, 13.15, Holiday Roster Freeze.

13.13, Waiver Notification: (a) The Player and the NHLPA shall be notified within 2 hours whenever the Player is placed on waivers, clears waivers, or is claimed waivers. Notification to the NHLPA shall be by fax in accordance with Exhibit 3. It's not all bad; the player can request to right to talk with other Clubs about their interest in him during the waiver period, which of course must be provided to the NHLPA by fax.

Pop quiz...how many pieces of paper does this rule require?/I thought the NHL was going green?: 13.14, Transfer Form. (a) Players loaned to or recalled from a minor league club shall receive a transfer form. In order to make said loan or recall effective, the Club must send a copy to the NHLPA and NHL by facsimile, in accordance with Exhibit 3 hereto, prior to that player being in an NHL game and, in all other circumstances, immediately. If the team recalls a player to replace someone who's been injured, is ill or has been suspended, they must submit a transfer form indicating whether the player's status has converted to regular recall or is loaned to his minor league club. (c) Club will provide written confirmation that players loaned or recalled from the minors will receive or have received the per diems required in Article 13.12 by way of the club checking the appropriate box on the revised version of the Transfer Form attached hereto as Exhibit 26.

13.15, Holiday Roster Freeze: For all players on the NHL Active Roster, Injured Reserve, or Players with Non-Roster and Injured Non-Roster status as of midnight local time December 19, a roster freeze shall apply through midnight local time December 27, with respect to waivers, trades, and loans; provided however that players may be recalled to NHL Clubs during this period, and provided further that if a Player is placed on regular waivers or re-entry waivers prior to the roster freeze period and is claimed during such roster freeze period, the roster freeze period shall not apply and the player shall report immediately to the claiming club.

Morals of the story:

The game: How like Corporate America hockey is. You can fire people at any time with only a few hours notice, you have to fill out paperwork for everything and if someone's let go, they get a break, only in this case it's the chance to be claimed by another team instead of unemployment.

Life: I want a roster freeze for my life this holiday season. From December 19 through the 27th I will abandon the rat race and everything that goes with it to rethink what I'm going to do with my life in the coming year. And if I've already begun seeking new opportunities when that kicks in, the freeze will not apply and I will move onto the new thing(s).

Up next: 13.16, Waiver Prices.

So, if Sidney Crosby scored two hat tricks in one week, why do the rest of us bother?

The game: Pittsburgh Penguins 3, Atlanta Thrashers 2. All three Pittsburgh goals were scored by Sidney Crosby. That makes two hat tricks inside of one week.

Note to said player: Dude, slow down so the rest of us humble peons, in our own small way, can at least attempt to catch up on our own life's achievements.

But seriously: What's really scary about him is that the best is yet to come.

I learn something new every day: A natural hat trick is when the three goals are scored consecutively without another player scoring in between.

Check this out. Was I destined to write about hockey or what?: My birthday (January 26) is also Wayne Gretzky's birthday and it's the date of the first official hat trick in hockey. The first one happened in Toronto on January 26, 1946. Perfect.

As for the Portland Winterhawks the other night, you didn't miss anything: www.oregonlive.com/hawks. It was kinda ugly. But bright spots emerged here and there, like a nice breakaway by Buffalo Sabres draft pick Riley Boychuk. Other than that, it was pretty much toast.

He's back. Be very afraid: Marion Gaborik, hampered in recent years by injury and illness, went out and scored his own hat trick in the Rangers' game against the New York Islanders. And it didn't stop there. He added an assist, fired 8 shots on goal and logged more than 20 minutes of ice time.

The future is on the loose in Edmonton: Taylor Hall scored twice, and Jordan Eberle racked up three points with a goal and two assists.

So, since I report on such achievements, perhaps I will get off the 9 - 5 merry-go-round myself: Major dilemma though. Could I make a living off a best selling novel called "The Definitive Anti-Expert's Guide to Hockey?" Discuss.